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Sunday, 24 Av, 5779
  |  August 25, 2019
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    The Beauty in Criticism

    From the COLlive inbox: On the surface, I am just another Lubavitch girl with my own struggles - nothing with non-tznius clothing, rather my struggle is with the 'borderline' markings. Full Story

    A Question Given to 3 Greats

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    Crown Heights Readies for Storm

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    Wow
    Guest
    Wow

    Thank you. This was very inspiring and well written! May you have hatzlacha in everything you do!

    well done e very good point
    Guest
    well done e very good point
    AMAZING!!
    Guest
    AMAZING!!

    WOW – really truely amazing to see someone so open and bring out reality
    THANK YOU

    sounds like Stamford hill!
    Guest
    sounds like Stamford hill!

    nicely written, really sounds like you come from the community in London from your description.

    R.B
    Guest
    R.B

    An article after my own heart ;)))
    Ur awesome and I admire your strength and the power of your convictions! Keep up the determination to always go higher so that we can all keep learning from you!
    And now… bring on the comments!!!
    xxxx

    Totalll in agreement
    Guest
    Totalll in agreement

    This girl has expressed what so many of us, both young and old, experience on a regular basis, and actually I’ll admit that I am an adult writing here, perhaps on behalf of my own kids! Our community is so quick, to critiscize, condemn, and ”write off” our young today, its beyond belief! Even those girls who are 100% tzniusdik, get commented on for other reasons. . . like something as stupid as a certain type of shoe they may be wearing, the SEM they have been accepted in, like “I would NEVER want my daughter to go there. .… Read more »

    wow!!
    Guest
    wow!!

    really, really well written and beautifully expressed!
    i like a lot!! :):)

    greatest article!!!
    Guest
    greatest article!!!

    Wow Amazing!! very well written!! i know this girl that wrote it and she is the most amazing girl!! woooww go her!!

    very heartfelt and honest
    Guest
    very heartfelt and honest

    i congratulate you on your honesty and hope that more mechanchos can sense the detrimental effects of being judgemental. hatzlacha rabba in your struggle and you will surely see results. chazara litaamula shaina chozeres raikam.

    Importance of how to handle 'criticism'
    Guest
    Importance of how to handle 'criticism'

    Well said. Keep up the good work. You should keep succeeding in that battle for real happiness, and help others also to win. Hatzlocha Rabba!
    And Tznius is very important because it is your signature of what you believe in at this stage. And people around get the message straight away.
    All the hidden good things that you do are for sure also Seen and Recorded quietly

    EG.
    Guest
    EG.

    wow!!!! I am in awe.

    Mommy is proud of you
    Guest
    Mommy is proud of you

    I cried when I proof read your article and I cry again as I read it on COL, tears of Yiddishe Chassidishe Nachas. May Hashem bentch you in your entire life, as well as all those you are trying to help! Love You!

    Good points
    Guest
    Good points

    Very brilliantly written. Impressed to say the least

    A shlucha
    Guest
    A shlucha

    I was in CH lately and what I saw to say it nicely, surprised me. As you write you got looks from people, let me tell you what is behind my look. How could you, how dare you (and i am talking plural) pull the Rebbe so low. Everything we do, wear or say reflects as Lubavitchers on our Rebbe. I personally was sick to my stomach to see what is going on because I feel that the Rebbe did and still does so much for us, cant we at least make him proud of his shchuna? is that so… Read more »

    Can relate
    Guest
    Can relate

    Thank you for posting this, I think many girls Can relate to this issue

    The problem is Me not You
    Guest
    The problem is Me not You

    The problem with tznius is that you have a struggle with covering up, those that see you may be struggling with a worse yetzer hara. It’s time for people to take responsibility for their their own thought, speech and actions, instead of blaming those around them. Thank you for writing such an honest and moving article.

    What a beautiful person!
    Guest
    What a beautiful person!
    in awe
    Guest
    in awe

    every lubavitch girl at SOMETIME feels this. admit it!

    from London?
    Guest
    from London?

    Sorry honey but if youre from London you are fighting a losing battle. That community will always find reason why you are not good enough.

    You will be successful and....
    Guest
    You will be successful and....

    B”H It is clear that u will have Hatzlocha with your personal Challenge, you will also inspire others. Regarding covering knees even when sitting. Having worked as a Rov researching dinim. Covering knees when sitting is Daas Moshe, it was told to Moshe on Har Sinai, all opinions clearly write knees – to be covered even when sitting. The greatest posek of America, Reb Moshe Feinstein A”H and the great Posek from Eretz Yisroel Reb Shlomo Zalman Orebach A”H and the greatest Dayan that is alive Reb Elyashiv shlita, including Rabbi Ovadia Yosef shlita. Even the Lubavitcher Rebbe wrote a… Read more »

    CLOSE FRIEND OF THE WRITER
    Guest
    CLOSE FRIEND OF THE WRITER

    You are an inspiration to all your family and close friends around you! You sure make us all proud!
    Just watching you Daven, spend the time to teach and give amazing advise to people around you! Keep making the Rebbe and your parents proud! CK

    missing the point
    Guest
    missing the point

    There’s a big misunderstanding when it comes to tznius these days. People think it’s a personal struggle which is no one else’s business. But the fact is that when you walk out into the street dressed immodestly, you’re making a statement to the world about your standards. Every person who sees you is affected in some way, whether it’s lowering someone’s opinion of you and who you represent, or arousing inappropriate thoughts in someone else. There’s a world of a difference between that and how often you say Chitas at home.

    makes me smile , and makes the rebbe proud!
    Guest
    makes me smile , and makes the rebbe proud!

    very nive article. will implement in ways that i can.
    thank u 🙂

    Leaders must uphold the standard!!!
    Guest
    Leaders must uphold the standard!!!

    If you are a bnos VGA ad leader it’s your obligation to dress like one. Period, end of story. I don’t care how hurt you are by the critical. As a mother of girls I WILL say something when my daughter’s mechanchos, teachers or counselors don’t dress properly. I’m tired of the live and let live passivity while the ones who purport to be LEADERS keep dragging us down. I’m sure you have a lot to offer your students but when you show up with a low neckline you validate the lowest standards for a whole generation. What can we… Read more »

    :) great!
    Guest
    :) great!

    Very well done! Great points, and honest. Much Hatzlacha in your avodas hashem, mitoch simcha vetuv levav!

    agree!
    Guest
    agree!

    thanks for posting! i feel this happens to me too!

    priorities
    Guest
    priorities

    kol hakavod to u, just wondering why priorities are bit messed up by so many of us girls, that chitas, rambam, mivtzoyim, sichos,etc. are focused on more than basic halacha of tznius, kashrus, shabbos, etc. first be a yid, then add on your chassidishkeit. (of course, learning chassidus will help you strengthen your yiddishkeit, but you shouldn’t just learn for inyan of learning. hama’aseh hu ha’ikar… yes tznius is an action- bottom line, what is your yiras shamayim? u dressing for others, and scared of what everyone says and thinks of u, or are you doing what hashem and rebbe… Read more »

    Response to a shlucha #14
    Guest
    Response to a shlucha #14

    When I see people on the street dressed that way, I also feel heartbroken for the Rebbe, for Chabad in general. . The Rebbe is probably heartbroken over many things we chassidim do, myself included. Although b”H tznius has never been an issue for me, I don’t think I need all the fingers of one hand to count how many times I’ve davened lately. My struggles may be less obvious but they are as much a part of my life, and as personal, as another’s more glaring tznius issue. We all struggle, externally or internally, and we need to be… Read more »

    WoW!!
    Guest
    WoW!!

    What an amaizing article… U truly inspire us all.. Gonna miss u next year!!! Good luck in everything u do 🙂

    Yup
    Guest
    Yup

    People who are not Lubavitch see ONLY what you are wearing. They don’t care of you daven 3 times a day – they will not come any closer to learning even a drop of Chassidus if you don’t work on your Tznius.
    I personally am a teenager who BH doesn’t get remarks about her tznius but I do get critism on other things in life, and this article definitely got me thinking. Thank you.

    to Holier than thou shlucha
    Guest
    to Holier than thou shlucha

    Dear Shlucha, With all due respect, girls in crown heights are just as human as girls you try to help in your own community. We have the same struggles as any other human being, and yes, The Rebbe deserves it all. But firstly, who are you to speak for the Rebbe? Secondly, you have no idea what the so called “girls” weearing the tight skirts or tight tops have been through in their lives. If it sickens you so much, go back to where you came from. Just because you don’t have this particular struggle in your yidishkeit, doesn’t mean… Read more »

    To # 14, A Shlucha
    Guest
    To # 14, A Shlucha

    Don’t be so quick to judge CH as being the one to give the Rebbe agmas nefesh. I, a Crown Heightser, was quite surprised to see Shluchos and Shluchim coming for convention dressed totally inappropriately while advertising that they are a direct emissary of our Rebbe. While I would not say anything to anyone dressed wrongly – who am I to judge them – I think if you go by the title Shliach/Shlucha make sure you act like an emissary of the Rebbe in every way. This is not only in matters of dress, but also speech and ACTIONS! What… Read more »

    Change
    Guest
    Change

    With no offence to “a shlucha” and others I think the author brings up a good, general point. Simply said, “mind your own business”. Now you might say, “Crown Heights is MY and MY REBBES community so it IS my business” Well here’s the difference, the general outlook of crown heights is not the fault of that ONE individual that you’re pointing at, judging and rebuking. So, in a sense you’re letting out your anger and dismay at the general outlook of the community, on one girl. Obviously a community is made up of individuals, but, the levels of observance… Read more »

    Couldn't have said it better
    Guest
    Couldn't have said it better

    Wow I am in awe of you. You put thought of us girls into beatiful word
    kudos.

    Looks 'can' be deceiving ...BUT:
    Guest
    Looks 'can' be deceiving ...BUT:

    Dressing a certain way facilitates expressing and reinforcing ‘facets’ of a person. Every person is comprised of different ‘facets’. Someone who is dressed in support of Torah is not necessarily a ‘model citizen’, and Someone who is dressed in contrast to Torah is not necessarily trying to reinforce chaos. However, like ‘garments of the soul’ what we choose to wear (especially on a daily basis) influences our expression and thereby as well our actual identity. Like we’ve learnt ‘mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma’ through doing something not for it’s sake, a person comes to do it for it’s sake. I… Read more »

    think of the Rebbe
    Guest
    think of the Rebbe

    recently i had a discussion with younger folk and was trying to impress on them the same thing….This is the Rebbe’s Schunah…when i wrote in via english igros later, i received a clear answer to thank me for standing up for Lubavitch, however to not be so hard on others, to accept them as they are.
    how ’bout that ?

    the issue
    Guest
    the issue

    as a lubavitcher living among non lubavitchers which non of their children “struggle” with tznius because it is part of their chinuch and way of life ,but in lubavitch tznius sounds like a chashidishe shtick for a girl who learns chitas and davens 3 times a day.people with zero chabad chassidus inspiration live with tznius and this is because it is halacha and emphasized strongly .very strongly!but here we have an article of a girls struggle and success .the issue is not singling out anyone or g-d forbid against the author the issue is the very hashkafa and emphasis lacking… Read more »

    Be strong and focused
    Guest
    Be strong and focused

    I bless that u this this should be the worst of your problems. Do not care what other people think of you. Be strong and do what is right. Do not focus on other peoples phone calls or gossip. People will always talk.

    sick of the "in" look
    Guest
    sick of the "in" look

    I grew up in an era when ladies of low breeding walked around with hair curlers and flip flops (or other slippers). We saw them at the grocery, playground, etc. Now in the frum community we have the flip flop, rag on the head look. If someone has some unique reason or deep pathology for dressing like a commercial for a cheap canned dinner, then I am sorry for stepping on your pedicured flip-flopped toes. I look forward to fall when everyone will have to put their clothes back on. Dress tznius and keep America beautiful.

    You are special
    Guest
    You are special

    Well written sis.
    I am so proud of you and you should continue to be successful in all that you do. You are very special who deserves only the best in life.

    Thank you,
    Guest
    Thank you,

    Thank you for writing this article. I think your honest thinking out loud will resonate wih many people and give many of us food for thought, For those that write critical of those you see walking aroung crown heights, I cringe inwardly too when I see so many of our own walking around inappropriately. It definitely hurts. But we can’t be so critical. If for no other reason than that it won’t help the situation any. Noone will cha ge because of harsh critiscm. And ultimately! What you and I and every well meaning person wants is for everyone to… Read more »

    GOLD MEDAL !
    Guest
    GOLD MEDAL !

    THIS ARTICLE IS ONE THAT EVERYONE COULD LEARN FROM ! you had (seemingly) valid complaints ,so u asked a mashpia , and he told u (in a nice & acceptive manner) that it was YOU to do the change ! you internalised that with PRIDE ,and went on to advertise it to everyone .THATS THE WAY TO GO ! may u be a lesson for everyone ! MUCH HATSLOCHO ! if we all do the same ,MOSHIACH WILL CERTAINLY BE HERE FAST !

    naase venishma
    Guest
    naase venishma

    Did any one ever hear this concept? the Jews received the torah they accepted it as is, why can’t we just do the same?

    Kudos to the Author!
    Guest
    Kudos to the Author!

    To #31: No, we don’t have the ‘same’ struggles. We know better, and have constant reminders every moment of every day (without input from outsiders). And we have yiddishe keppelach.. To #32 P.S. There is a HUGE difference between a Jew who expresses their personality through the personality of their clothes, and someone who takes off inches of their clothes to expose the ‘personality’ (or lack thereof) of their body. p.s. one reminds me of the character of Yosef haTzaddik, the other is issurei d’oraysa in public all day and ‘makif’ (having an enveloping affect on ones character) and most… Read more »

    Let's Keep This in Mind
    Guest
    Let's Keep This in Mind

    Chitas is not Halachah (as great as it is to keep). Tznius laws are Halachah! They must be adhered to. May we all strive to reach for the high standards expected from us as we await the coming of Moshiach when we will again be reunited with our Rebbe, and be confident of his pride in his Chassidistes! Ein davar ha’omed bifnei haratzon – if we have the ratzon for doing what Halachah dictates, we will have the strength to carry it out to the best of our abilities.

    Mother
    Guest
    Mother

    I am a mother of sons who are so far chassidish and frum. I don;t take it for granted. Bderech hateva I and my husband are responsible to look for a shidduch for them. If someone mentions a girl who is not dressed according to halacha why would I consider her for my son? Her dress tells me that I can’t trust her in kashrus, taharas hamishpacha or any other halacha that is so important to an akeres habayis. Her chtonius is a reflection to me of her pnimius. The Rebbe says that a girl should dress like a Bais… Read more »

    living among non lubavitchers
    Guest
    living among non lubavitchers

    I remember when we were able to recognize Beis Yaacov girls from far because their tznius was not up to our level, unfortunately in our community it is now reverse.

    #44
    Guest
    #44

    chill
    it sounds like you never did anything wrong in your life?!
    you have done wrong just like everybody in the world.
    then, maybe no one can ever trust you?
    think about it, dont act holier than thou

    the special women
    Guest
    the special women

    instead of throwing harsh additional restrictions on women for tznius, explain to them how special and precious they are. and automatically they will want to be dressed like a princess
    they will feel like a bas yechida to hashem

    A Lubavitch Bais Yaakov Girl
    Guest
    A Lubavitch Bais Yaakov Girl

    I grew up in a lubavitch home and went to a lubavitch elementary school. But, for my 4 years of high school, I attended Bais Yaakov. My tznius was never an issue. Mostly because in the “Bais Yaakov circle” it is not even a question! When you leave the house, your skirt covers your knees (even while you sit), your collar bone is fully covered, you wear tights/stockings, and your hair is neat. The thing about Bais Yaakov (as opposed to Lubavitch) is that the peer pressure is to be tznius! Can you imagine that? I would feel so uncomfortable… Read more »

    NO.45
    Guest
    NO.45

    Very well said and expressed and I think your comment should give alot of our girls food for thought; You make so much sense, thanks for posting

     To number 24
    Guest
    To number 24

    Agree wholeheartedly. But isn’t it sad when, like the above, the mechanchos and bnos chabad leaders uphold the standards ‘just for their job’. or just because of ‘ peoples complaints’. When our daughters see them afterwards in a different setting/ country it is all gone? how disconcerting. ‘I struggle with the ‘borderline’ markings; making sure my knees are covered when I sit’ – how shocking that a bnos chabad leader should think that covering knees when sitting is a ‘borderline’?!?! its HALACHA. that must be what is accepted where she is from…again the case of not knowing halachos at all… Read more »

    how sad
    Guest
    how sad

    and why couldnt mother directly approach you? sounds like a very unhealthy almost gossiping community.

    From the Author
    Guest
    From the Author

    Thank you for all the lovely comments, very heart warming to see the community support – and to all the more harsh ones, I thank you too – It is without a doubt that tznius is so important and complete halacha hence me writing this article for others to understand

    no, we cannot see that you are aware of your faults in tznius
    Guest
    no, we cannot see that you are aware of your faults in tznius

    dressing not tznius is the same as eating chazer, and i am tired of people trashing the Rebbe’s shcunah.

    to 55
    Guest
    to 55

    well then I might as well eat chazer, is that what you want?think before you talk. I have no doubt you have your own struggles.

    hmm
    Guest
    hmm

    before writing for others to understand – understand the halachos! ‘ to many people are trying to change the world without trying to change themselves’ – as you rightly said.

     thanks
    Guest
    thanks

    thanks for your artical some one over seas

    drop your chitas
    Guest
    drop your chitas

    covering your knees while sitting is not somethiong for a hachloto. its halocho. drop your chitas, stop your davening, stop wasting your inspiration on cute hidurim: become frum!

    WHAT A STRUGGLE
    Guest
    WHAT A STRUGGLE

    WHAT UPSETS ME, IS THE HAKORSAS HATOV WE ALL HAVE TO HAKODOSH BORUCH HU FOR THE FREEDOM WE HAVE IN THE USA OF AMERICA.
    IN EVERY GENERATION WE ARE GIVEN MESIRAS NEFESH STRUGGLES. THANK G-D THESE ARE THE STRUGGLES OF TODAY, WEATHER YOUR SKIRT COVERS YOUR KNEE, WEATHER YOU WEAR AN FULL BEARD, ETC.
    BETTER TO UPHOLD THESE SEEMINGLY DIFFICULT HALOCHOS THEN TO CHAS V’SHALOM HAVE THE STRUGGLES OF OUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS.

    my opinion
    Guest
    my opinion

    There are so many women and girls wearing styles of skirts and dresses that don’t cover the knees when they sit. That causes these women and girls to feel that if they wear other styles that do cover their knees when they sit then they will be out of style. For it is more important to be in style than in accordance with halacha in their minds. When “everyone” is doing it, it becomes “okay”. It is not just one person’s struggle. If each woman would start to wear the styles that do cover the knees when sitting, the rest… Read more »

    still Tznius
    Guest
    still Tznius

    what’s so hard to dress tzniusdik ? there are plenty of nice and up to date things to wear. it makes you feel better or prettier or more attractive when your neckline is lower or your skirt just above the knees?i don’t thing so!
    we did it all till not long ago when the crisis started and everyone slowly copied b/c they think it makes them cool .

    ??!!
    Guest
    ??!!

    Wow, a girl takes the time to write an article that will inspire others to do the right thing and some of the comments that she gets are “to eat chazzar” and being told that it’s not hard to be tziniusdik??? Everyone goes through there own personal struggles and it is not anyone elses place to judge!! What is hard for me might be easy for you and what is easy for me might be hard for you. I think the Rebbe would be very proud of the writer for trying hard to do better and for trying to inspire… Read more »

    To #62
    Guest
    To #62

    Obvoiusly, everyone has a different idia of what “cool” means. But thats not the issue here…????

    FORGET ABOUT TZNIUS!
    Guest
    FORGET ABOUT TZNIUS!

    It’s beyond halacha here. . I can understand you may not care about God or you have a big Yetzer Hara.. fine. But a little dignity, respect, mentchlichkeit! don’t be such chutzpah.. your parents and grandparents formed this community for a reason. . There are still people trying to raise normal kids here. You want to share you body with others.. no problem, do it in Hollywood. . Go to Manhattan! This is crown heights – the Rebbe’s shechuna! And why do even teachers here walk around with mini skirts, no socks and their hair half uncovered!!? It’s mamesh a… Read more »

    count your blessings
    Guest
    count your blessings

    I was raised in the min-skirt generation, and my secular seeking family never knew the difference. If only you had a clue that you are so blessed with these guidelines, instead of dabbling outside of them. I thank Hashem every day I am going towards this direction and not away. Your steps facing away from what Hashem wants of you will only lead to the next generation giving up more, and so on until there will be nothing left of caring about Yiddishkeit in your future family, even after you’re gone. Is that what you want to create, or do… Read more »

    amazing!!!
    Guest
    amazing!!!

    wow!!! i can say that i personally know the author of this article and she is truly an amazing girl inside and out!!!! amazing article, brings so much inspiration to all of us!!! keep up the good work and just being u 🙂

    Worth Reading this:
    Guest
    Worth Reading this:

    There is something quite deeply hidden here. Why is it that women, girls get PERSONALLY offended for an issur of our holy Torah they are transgressing? If a woman were to eat a non kosher food for drive on Shabbos and someone told her it was against the Torah, would she get so hurt? So deeply angry? Upset? NO. Of course not. This is so because EVERY WOMAN knows deep in her heart that being modest is EVERYTHING who she is and what she stands for in her role in this earth as a woman and even more so as… Read more »

    A wise person Accepts Criticism
    Guest
    A wise person Accepts Criticism

    Do you fall into that category of Shlomo Hamelech?
    A healthy person accepts to hear his faults for he is always looking to grow.
    A louse blows up at others for it is easier to remain a fool that to work hard and grow.

    to 59
    Guest
    to 59

    cute hiddurim? I beg to differ. can you know where they would be without the chitas and other” cute hiddurim” ? Tznius is of utmost importance and while chitas is not halacha the Rebbe did stress it’s importance greatly. So as long as you don’t know what is going on behind the rebbe’s hiddurim, behind a persons mind and heart don’t ever give anyone instructions to drop “cute hiddurim” as you are treading on dangerous waters.

    #65
    Guest
    #65

    Right on the dot.

    comment # 65
    Guest
    comment # 65

    Good Job! Amazing. Wish more people would think like you.

    to 68
    Guest
    to 68

    Tznius is not the only attribute that defines a Jewish woman. It’s essential, but not the only attribute that defines us.There are many other characteristics that define our Jewishness and femininity such as kindness, strength, inner beauty in addition and together with tznius.

    #71
    Guest
    #71

    I second that! finally someone says it as it is!

    well say # 65
    Guest
    well say # 65

    Agree with you. Very good approach.
    Dear author, we all have struggles, but not all have the tremendous responsibillity to be the direct influence of those precious young souls.
    If you wake up one day with such conlicts, take the day off, DONT GO TO SCHOOL. speak with your mashpia, open a igros,etc. But please dont confuse our children. DO NOT PLANT OTHERS STRUGGLES

    someone respond please!
    Guest
    someone respond please!

    I will love to hear from people who are not careful about tznius (like myself) what they think when reading #65. I think s/he has a point..

    To 76
    Guest
    To 76

    I think 65 is being very idealistic, Sounds nice, I can see s/he has a point for people who take up a position within the community, hence, a commitment to follow the rules. But practically, is s/he saying that if your address is in CH you have to dress a certain way and if not you have to move out? sounds like taliban to me. You can’t expect to be able to control people like that just because you know their family and you knew them as a child. There’s is a problem in the community. It is not a… Read more »

    your darling brother!
    Guest
    your darling brother!

    sister,
    that was really well written and expressed, i really enjoyed reading and i absolutely agree with everything you wrote.
    it makes me as a sibling proed to see you put this up and to see all the feed back.
    may you be strong and stronger in what you believe and preach and always be a living example to not only those around you but your family as well
    all my love

    Really truly amazing
    Guest
    Really truly amazing

    This article was really very well written and straight from the heart. The author senses it’s importance of tznius and making the time to write something I wouldn;t even be able to put pen to paper. Well done and thnak you – at the rate your going you will definitely reach great heights. and to all those negative comments out there some are very true but why so harsh?

    chittas
    Guest
    chittas

    if you feel you can say your chittas, then kol hakavod! saying chittas refines your neshama and makes you more sensitive and in tune to the halochos. so when someone struggles with something basic in halacha, after a while saying chittas and involving oneself with the Rebbe’s inyonim, one finds oneself more receptive to self improvement, be it a basic halocha (especially one that is such a nisayon in our society) or a hiddur mitzvah.

    missing the point
    Guest
    missing the point

    One point unfortunately missed is that when we don’t daven or are failing in other areas then that effects only each of us. BUT, when we are dressed inappropriately we are causing others to sin too. True, men must have shmiras aynayim but how do you expect us to be Yirai Shomayim if what’s exposed steers us straight in the face. And, when one is dressed inappropriately (even a family member) and I am davening, learning or just making a brocha then it is problematic to say the least. Thank you for a great article that will hopefully be a… Read more »

    FYI
    Guest
    FYI

    It seems that to many the Rebbe stopped at Chitas and ahavas Yisroel. Go through all the sichos and Igros and you will be shocked to discover the amount of time the Rebbe spent talking and addressing TZNIUS. Yes, that many years ago he thought it important to address this topic so that today we would have what to look back at and see his pain and urge that we follow in the ways of true tznius!! And, to all those brazenly showing part of their hair; we all know good and well what the Rebbe said about that and… Read more »

    to #77
    Guest
    to #77

    Don’t you think people shul be dressed tznius even when going to shul? Are you blind or what!? Maybe in Ahavas Yisroel all the women dress tznius.. I’m not familiar with that shul.. but what about many other shuls?
    Respect is not Taliban. Many people are not interested in forming part of the Lubavitch comunity the way the Lubavitcher Rebbe established it but when it comes to using our mosdos or services there they are.. it’s like the erev rav in times of Moses. . You don’t use Hatzolah, Shmirah, schools, Sh

    To #56
    Guest
    To #56

    The difference is, my “struggles” dont cause other people to sin. Do your struggling in private, where you wont spiritually damage others.

    To #48
    Guest
    To #48

    im sorry to say but clothing is not everything i have friends that while i dressed in jeans (o vey chas vlsholom hashem yiracheim) i davened everyday never missed a day helped anyone i can gave tzedaka and overall tried my best i had friends wearing the black pants hat and jacket even all day (you know elite lubavitch) on the inside they were doing drugs not keeping shabbat and overall not good people at all so what does the back hat do BAD it deceives everyone which breaks another halacha of lo sitein michshol lifnei eiver so please explain… Read more »

    To 85
    Guest
    To 85

    I understand your point, although I don’t see why you should be wearing jeans, if you are such a good bochur, then what would bring you to wear jeans?
    and about the people making a show.. ignore them, they’re not worth your time. think about yourself and where you’re standing..

    to 85-- good boy in jeans
    Guest
    to 85-- good boy in jeans

    you sound like someone peolpe look up to. If kids see a role model dressed in jeans, they may want to look like you…

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