By Shmuel
I would greatly appreciate if you could post this in order to have the other side of the story about the article titled Taking Sweets From Strangers? as I was personally there when the man gave out the ices last Tuesday, Isru Chag Shavuos.
What actually happened was that this man bought ices to give out to bochurim who were learning in 770 as he really appreciates how the bochurim learn there the whole day.
When he came to 770, there were a whole group of kids that surrounded him and started asking for ices for themselves. Obviously, he wasn’t going to refuse them so he gave them the ices.
Then a Lubavitcher (possibly the writer of the article) came and started screaming at him that he should stop. ‘What are you doing? You shouldn’t be giving ices to kids’.
Seeing nothing wrong with what he was doing, the man continued giving them out even buying more ices for a kid who wanted a different flavor. At this point, the Lubavitcher came over again and told him that if he really cared about the kids he should teach them not to speak to strangers. The man replied, ‘that is the parents job, not mine’.
The Lubavitcher then told him, without any warning, that he already called Shmira patrol. Unlike what it says in the article, the man didn’t see any shmira people or no one chased him out of 770.
It also seems that the person who wrote the article doesn’t come too often to 770 during the week as I have seen the man who gave out the ices many times in 770 before.
When I was speaking to him, he did ask me if I thought he was doing something wrong, as in truth, if he were to be a total stranger then this could be a pretty serious thing.
But at the end of the day what is one supposed to do if he is giving out something to older bochurim and a group of kids come around asking for some? Should he actually say no to the children? Especially Crown Heights children who will just jump all over you until you actually give them either way?
Bit of a storm in a cornet all this. A whole crowd of similar Jewish kids together are safe enough.
My husband used to be very kid friendly to the point when we were guests at people’s homes, kids would climb all over him.
That was 10 years ago. We live in a different time and new reality. My husband will absolutely never touch another kid that’s not ours, it’s just not appropriate anymore. Times have changed.
We adapt to our new surroundings that’s just life. But if it keeps kids safer and more aware than it’s worth the sacrifice of loosing these “candy man” at shuls.
there’s nothing wrong with an adult giving ices to another or adult or to a child. the glaring question is where were the parents of the children who were there to take ices from a stranger. 770 has had a (what i consider to be) horrible standard that some folks have – you can let your kid run around while you do your own thing. parenting does not stop when you get to 770. the only inappropriate thing that happened in this story is that there were kids who were of vulnerable age without their attending adult nearby, able to… Read more »
I am sorry but I see kids in 770 and on the street too young to be unattended. What are kids doing alone in 770 in the first place. Watch your kids or don’t complain when these things happen. Crossing streets themselves?
if nobody actually knows this guy its irrelevant why he is giving out the ices but the fact is he cold be some random stranger dangerous, or not he shouldnt be handing out ices and hanging around kids if hes an adult… There are too many stories about kids getting abused from “nice”, “innocent’ people…
He was attacked by ……kids? They are too many reasons why you can’t give ices to kids from health reasons to worse things, you are not being nice guy if your doing something against the parents! and about the parents, true they need to supervise, they need to teach, however don’t forget many kids don’t have parents like that, some are from not well functioning families and their kid is wondering there for attention. We as a community need to protect them, very well done to the person who stepped forward on behalf of the kids safety. Don’t worry, they… Read more »
Who is considered a stranger?
If he looks like a Lubavitcher, comes around and is known?
If he doesn’t look like a Lubavitcher?
How about your frequent guest, neighbor …….?
Friend?
Being a bit off?
Really!
Its not black or white.
Good point, worthy of discussion.
This
Distribution took place in the most public place in Ch (770!) to assume immediately that wanted to touch children inappropriately is bizarre.
It’s 100% the parents fault that the children felt ok persuading a “stranger” to give them something of his own.
The fellow was giving out ices to a large group of kids in public. Every passerby could see what was happening. He was not furtively luring the kids with ices. There’s safety in numbers and the kids were, as a group, badgering him for it. 2) if the self-righteous. indignant commentors feel uncomfortable with the kids getting the ices they were clamoring for, they should make sure someone is always with their kids, even in familiar public places. why haven’t the kids been taught that it’s dangerous to ask for handouts? Y’all are welcome to keep a constant eye on… Read more »
Two years ago the community I live in experienced something no community should. One of the respected teachers a Rabbi was caught in one of the classrooms with a child on shabbos. Use your imagination what was going on. Thank God the teacher was fired but I can tell you that the ramifications of his actions still effect the shul. They have implemented new rules to protect children from being put into a situation like that again.The classroom are now always locke don shabbos. Sweets are no longer given out by anyone but the Rav and inside the kids programming,… Read more »
the candy man in every shul is a known man, who sits in a known place, and when a kid wants to go get candy from him, he asks his father if he can go, or his father comes with him.
the candy man doesn’t run away when someone calls shmira, because no1 does!!! he earned the trust of the shul & community…
no way u can compare this guy to a candy man in shul.
#2
Im glad your 16 year old spends lots of time in 770 and feels comfortable with Mr ices ( and says he’s a nice guy, PS he probably is a nice guy and means well)
He doesn’t need ulterior motive to be doing the wrong thing.
Mr Ices may hashem bless you with health and wealth and keep supporting torah study… Just please respect parent and their kids
Its kind of sad that we immediately assume that every seemingly nice thing people do nowadays is assumed to have a bad ulterior motive. Sometimes people just do nice things out of the kindness of their hearts. And anyway, if you dont want your children taking things from strangers, teach them, because clearly they werent thinking about that rule then
Bh you are still a naive and innocent young person yourself. We live in a world filled with problems. This is one incident that helps our kids let their guard down & open the door to c’v tremendous harm
Maybe you feel mature enough to survey the entire situation & make a responsible choice…the father here was RIGHT. You are not in his shoes. You can’t begin to fathom the responsibility parents feel to keep kids safe.
DO NOT JUDGE a parent who is watching kids in this insane world
So your saying that to your kids this guy is a total stranger and they should accept ices from this man? So your teaching them me Dan likav zchus? Did you read that article posted on col a few weeks earlier of a 5 year old girl being lured into a mans basement and abused? Maybe she eas being Dan lichav zchus! Wow you should be proud because you taught her such a good lesson (sarcasm alert). All in all I do think PARENTS should teach their kids to NOT TALK TO STRANGERS. As for the guy in the story… Read more »
Do you owe the kid the ices?
Why do you have to give kids that you dont know and they dont know you ices?
Can we get a picture of the guy for US to decide for our self?
Simply put we live in a sad day and age were being dan lekaf zechus is COMPLETELY ignored and it’s alway asSUme’d as being worst case scenario b/c of a few bad apples hamaivin yavin:(
It’s not OK to give kids treats without the parent’s permission, and it’s also not OK to ask them to leave the shul without the parent’s permission.
also, most abuse is perpetrated by close relatives and trusted teachers, busdrivers, etc. and NOT by strangers
Let him get a job or find some thing to do
A normal person if he’s not in yisheva
Dose need to be busy with kids of he has extra money let him give tzdaka leave the kids out of it
Too many molesters out there you know never know
Also its not normal for a stranger to give ice cream just because he’s bored he definitely has issues
If he has nothing to do he should not be giving out ice to kids
If its not his kids
There too many molesters out there and you never one who’s next he should go learn or get a job if your bored leave the kids. Out of it
Guess having Ahavas Yisroel is wrong now in days???? Seriously. There is a candy man in every shul, literally have seen probably over 5 in 770. Why is this man different? I have a candy man in my shul and personally probably does the majority of shuls. It is very common. Not strange. Hope he continues, kids need treats probally as much as the average adult needs coffee.
Not completely ignored
Learning from story’s that unfortunately happened we should teach our kids to be more careful of stranger’s
Kids shouldnt be taking things from strangers just becouse he is giving adults. also and defiantly not following him out side.
The guy probably had good motives but that dosnt change the point that he shouldnt give things to kids without parents permission for a number of reasons
1 he is a stranger
2 kashrus
3 kids may be allergic
4 mabe there parents dont want them to have
please except my sincerest apologies for berating you on the previously written article . This version of the story takes on a whole new meaning and actually makes more sense !i feel bad for my previous comment .
Thank you for acknowledging our wonderful bochorim learning.
i hope the writer of the previous article finds this guy and begs mechila.
.
It seems you are not from crown heights as I could easily see an ohlei Torah kid jumping all over a person giving out ices, and the average ot kid is much more wild then a non crown heights kid.
Even though this man possibly had good intentions we live in a time where we must be extra careful. We have recently been a target for alot of negativity in many different ways. I live in an out of town community and just last week I heard about someone ( a non Jewish person) putting a drug in the cup of someone that I personally know. The woman ended up in the hospital. People have all kinds of intentions in today’s day. I would definitely agree with the woman who witnessed the man giving out the ices. I will be… Read more »
He’s giving to the older bochurm to get access to the younger ones…it’s really sad that this is the world we live in but if I were Mr Ices I’d be refraining from anything that makes people suspicious.
And he could tell the little kids, sorry these are for the big kids and you need to ask your mother/father who should be nearby enough to see what’s happening.
So, it’s totally on the parents for leaving their children unsupervised to the point that a stranger can give them ices without their noticing
as parents being very careful and responsible, please understand that making someone into a molester, when they are not, is also abuse, and serious abuse. And think about the fear that your children must be living with if everyone is a potential abuser. Very sad!
Don’t get me wrong, we must speak to our children and I do support jcw, but don’t abuse innocent people and cause your children to mistrust everyone.
What if a child is highly allergic to red food coloring? Is diabetic? You never give food to a child without the parent’s approval.
And what is wrong with saying NO! to a child? If the ices were for the bochrim (not agreeing with that), then it is a chutzpa for the kids to badger the guy to give it to them.
We don’t live in a zoo!
Teach your children to behave! And to never accept gifts from strangers.
He is not a child molester, our generation has became so perverted that no one can do kindness anymore.
You teach your children a lesson, not the stranger
Common sense
The children are in fault not the stranger!!!!
It’s parenting 101: teach your kids not to talk to strangers.
Any parent who doesn’t teach their child that anyone they don’t know is potentially a dangerous person, is quite frankly, not a good parent.
I’m a crown heightser and definitely agree that crown heights kids are a lot more wild then other Anash communities … not a bad thing just a fact
For all we know he’s a spy for something
From the tone of your comment, it probably is your kid who does what he wants whether he is allowed or not.
That the person who was distributing the ices is on the off side, a little… These days you cannot trust nobody. Period. Children should NOT be accepting gifts unless their parents give specific approval. Children should not be making their own judgements in these cases.
And yes I was there, and the guy left just before the guys showed up
Btw in the first article, the photo showed him outside kahans, which means he didn’t remain in 770 and probably fled..
Yes if you are giving somthing out to older people and kids come over you tell them that you can give it to their parents
That is the right and normal thing to do
The sad truth This guy is right it is the parents job This guy most probably has no ill intentions Hes giving out ices so that children could make a brocho Or because he just likes to make people happy And if parents are there they can allow him to gve ices to their kids the problem is kids running around without supervision So if you let your kids run around without anyone watching them let this article be a reminder how suseptible children are And if you know people that let their kids run around without supervision influence them… Read more »
You sound like you come from a good place and you mean well.. and i’m sure this fellow giving out means well to, but it’s OK to say no, and that’s what he should do for many obvious educational in additional to healthy reasons…
Also never judge a story till u hear both sides
Simply put we live in a sad day and age were being dan lekaf zechus is COMPLETELY ignored and it’s alway asSUme’d as being worst case scenario b/c of a few bad apples hamaivin yavin:(
my sixteen year old son who bh spends alot of time in 770 agrees with this guy. he said there is nothing at all wrong with Mr. Ices, ( not ISIS), he is just a nice fellow, who wants to give out treats. not everyone needs to have an ulterior motive.. some guys are just harmless, and like doing nice things.. let us not makes each thing into sensational news.
Why ESPECIALLY crown heights children over other children?
Explain?
Maybe your children do that! But not mine! Sorry!
And yes, no one should give ices to kids, even if he’s not a strange to YOU he’s a strange to the KIDS!