By COLlive reporter
Some want community rebbetzins to drop the mic – literally.
Disapproving comments have led several women to back out of their original plan to take the stage at the upcoming lecture event “Stories From the Rebbetzin.”
The event, “An Empowering Evening Featuring the Feminine Force,” is scheduled to take place on Sunday, January 6, 2019 at the Miami Theater Center in Miami Shores, Florida.
A group of 25 women, all wives of local community rabbis, attended a preparation workshop with Rosh Lowe, a former TV news reporter who founded the MicDrop training and speaking service.
MicDrop events typically feature non-professional speakers who open up on stage about a personal or impactful moment in their lives. Members of the audience later vote on their favorite speech.
“Jewish communities around the world are led by a Rabbi, and by his wife: the Rebbetzin. These women devote their days to their community, their strength to their service, and their minds to their mission,” the event page reads.
“We all know the Rabbi – his public appearance, his sermons, his prayers – but what about his partner? What passions drive this fierce and feminine force to devote her years to a life of service? What narrative is behind all the wonder woman-like work that is invested in building and cultivating community?”
But not everyone was in agreement that this event is a good idea.
COLlive.com has learned that local rebbetzins who planned on speaking were told by colleagues and community members, both men and women in their communities, that such an appearance would be frowned upon.
“As I understand it, MicDrop is not just about speaking in public,” one wrote on Facebook. “It is about exposing oneself or uncovering yourself in public. If I got it right, perhaps (some) women may feel uncomfortable doing so. As well as some men who may feel it is inappropriate.”
Mrs. Tzippy Weiss, co-director of Chabad Miami Lakes and North West Dade, said she has been one of the targets of the criticism which she says “is coming from men and women.”
The Chabad Shlucha said the 25 workshop members hail from different frum communities, and the original plan of 10 speakers has since dwindled down to 6 rebbetzins who still plan to forge ahead despite opposition.
Weiss said she has received phone calls and text messages from people saying, ‘I can’t believe you are doing this’ or ‘women speaking in front of men isn’t tznius’ (in accordance to the laws modesty).
In response, Weiss says she is following the example of the Rebbetzin Rivka Korf OBM, the pioneering Head Shlucha of Florida who helped plant the seeds of the state-wide Chabad empire and proudly spoke in public.
“The Rebbe never encouraged us to hide our voices,” Weiss explains. “The Rebbe was proud of women who shared Torah and inspiration with the world. That is what is being done here. We are giving talks about emunah, hashgacha protis and accepting Hashem’s will with love.”
The MicDrop event by Rebbetzins “isn’t about baring your soul or sharing a deep dark secret,” Weiss says. “It’s about connecting to people on a real level and sharing a story of inspiration that will hopefully teach them and help them overcome a struggle of their own.”
Women publicly speaking to crowds of both men and women is common practice today. Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis inspired audiences with her tale of survival and faith during the Holocaust, while Shlucha Rivka Slonim lectures internationally on Jewish observance and contemporary life.
The slate of teachers and lecturers at Judaism’s largest websites, such as Chabad.org and TorahCafe.com, feature both male and female experts in their fields, and Chabad Shluchos have long been addressing their communities and Shabbatons in Crown Heights, and the National Jewish Retreat of the JLI institute.
The Miami event organizer, Rosh Lowe, said he and his business partner Eli Nash have no intention of encouraging people to deviate from halacha.
“We are not looking to offend anyone or violate halacha, and I try to do things that the Rebbe would approve of,” Lowe told COLlive.com. “We believe each woman should ask their Rov if ‘kol isha’ applies to public speaking,” he says.
“I know that vulnerability allows a speaker to make the deepest connection and impact,” Lowe says. “Starting with Miriam [in the Bible], a woman’s voice is critical in leadership, and I believe it should be used to fulfill the Rebbe’s mission.
“For anyone, man or woman, who supports a woman’s right to speak, you should be at this event,” Lowe says.
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#54. Can you please provide a source for that?
Boruch Merkur
I understand where you’re coming from when you compare things among many shluchim with how we grew up in reformed. The flashy simchas, the jet-setting lifestyle and bragging, the obsession with untznius fashion and activities, discussions about celebrities. It turned us off to reformed back then and it’s turning us off now. I agree – memories of our original communities keep us going strong but we definitely notice what is going on, and it’s disappointing to say the least.
#52 to bring moshiach women will need to speak in front of a mixed audience. The Rebbe clearly said that in the generation before moshiach women will be the leaders. Not going to happen if you isolate your message. Sorry you won’t be participating.
So true!!! Men can’t get up and speak just anywhere either! Mixed crowds is an issue for men too.
I backed out. Not because I was silenced. My Backing out IS MY VOICE. I have rules that I follow and I will stand up for what I believe in. Don’t hijack this and turn it into “Women being silenced”. I have a strong voice and I will use my voice when it is right for ME! I am an empowered woman because of Torah, because of the Rebbe, because I am a Shlucha and because I stand up for the things I believe in. How is speaking in front of a mixed crowd more empowering than speaking in front… Read more »
To all of you amazing shluchois! Good luck with the event it looks amazing! Wish I could be there! And with Hashem’s help you can give the world a message that will tip the scale to bring moshiach now!
While we’re on the topic of modesty: the men of our generation have forgotten that tznius applies to all of us; that being male does not mean a free pass to speak and sing and exchange with whomever you want, wherever you want, shamelessly boundary-less. If there’s anyone who knows how to maintain modesty, it is our women. Malchus is rising, and there’s a reason the sensitive, nuanced woman was appointed for this task. Let each person look at his or her own modesty, and we will be everything we need to be.
To all you BTs who are commenting about not having people to look up to in miami and drastically falling spiritually etc. – PLEASE- feel free to contact me and I’ll introduce you to many many frum tznius chassidish high standard lubavitch women in miami and south Florida. Devorah (katz) Shor Look me up on Facebook and send me a message. (Not going to post my email here) Seriously. Please reach out. It makes me sad to know that you feel that way living here. There is sooooo much RUCHNIYOSDIKE positivity here. The Rebbe called miami “yerushalayim of chutz laretz”.… Read more »
The issue is the style of event which causes people to do things in public that are not dignified to the person doing it. Male or Female, this type of activity is a form of public emotional manipulation. Great ratings, bad idea.
Its simply not dignified to do this to anyone; women included. I would be as opposed with the Shliach was engaged in this nonsense as well.
The headline does not quite tell the story. This is simply not a good idea, Miami or not, women or not.
Shabbat Shalom.
Ironically, Miami has some of the most successful Chabad houses in the country. Perhaps some should be taking notes.
They aren’t wrong, you should move to Coral Springs. They say it like it’s a bad thing, but I’m saying it as someone who lives there. Affordable housing, nice community, you can be as religious and chassidish as you want to be and feel accepted, and you still get to live in South FL. Inverrary and Parkland are also good options.
No need to re-read the article. You can go to their youtube channel and educate yourself, almost every speaker has something traumatic to share in front of family and friends in a public forum no less. It’s being billed as ‘setting people free’ ‘storytelling’ pro-woman/Rebitzins etc. Watch the videos they are painful to see, regular ppl breaking down on stage in public – for what? There are similar programs like Toastmasters, Dale Carnegie and many more..they are quite effective and would never dare to share what goes on at these sessions publicly. This cause seems to be championed by a… Read more »
Having watched Mic-drop sessions myself, and being a practising psychologist, I believe that although Rosh Lowe’s intentions are good, there are some flaws in the program as well. The purpose of Mic-drop is to help a person prepare a public speech in which they make themselves vulnerable (to some degree). This gives a person a feel-good feeling (similar to therapy), and helps boost their self-esteem. While a good idea, and probably very effective, it also comes with it’s problems. Namely, for those who have never been through a high-scale struggle in life, they are encouraged (and are under peer-pressure) to… Read more »
What you’re saying rings true after listening to some the past MicDrop videos
such as rav vozner z”l an others, totally asser a woman giving a shiur to men
reb moshe is matir in very specific situations, and not as a dovor kovua
i would think that in chabad, where we are so mehader bemitzvos, we should no rely on questionable heteirim
As an adult daughter of BT parents I competely understand you. My parents unfortunately had a bunch of their BT friends that didn’t make it frum wise when they moved to a community with modern shluchim… And as a BT you Must stay connected to good role models. It’s the only way to make it. I’m happy to connect you. Please email [email protected]
You clearly articulated the problem and it has nothing to do with women.
What does Halacha say, I heard the Din is that if the woman speaker is behind a mechitza she can speak publicly in front of men as well.
The alter Rebbes Shulchan Aruch clearly says that during the drasha a mechitza is put up.
Chulda Hanevia spoke publicly however it was to crowds of women.
There is a story in Sefer Zichronos that a man would learn from a woman’s shiur however he was not in the same room.
I am 100% not perfect and have fallen drastically in all areas of Judaism when I moved to Miami. I felt completely out of place when I was more tznius than some rebetzins and was told by FFB women that I was “too frum” to hang out with. So yes, I am weak and succumbed to peer pressure. When I asked my local shlucha to learn with me or have a chavruso I was straight up told “no” because she did not have the patience to learn. Florida is beyond fabulous and fun for events but there is definitely an… Read more »
So “we” who maintain Torah and mitzvos the way the Rebbe taught us, the way we learned from our mothers, we frum men and women, are living in the dark ages?!?
I guess that means you lIVe in the ENLIGHTENME NT???
Gevalt.
Please pass the sunglasses.
Maybe the lack of rebbetzins speaking to men and women is the reason we have such a problem with tznius. Maybe if rebbetzins spoke more to both men and women..it would inspire families..husbands , wives, an children in the way of tznius. I for one am sick and tired of hearing lectures by rabbis only. Updating our cultural norms is not changing halacha and there are many examples that can be used to support that. Womans voices can and should be heared!!
I went to mic-drop was told it’s a public speaking training. And while I’ll say that I was taught a method of arranging a speech I don’t think that is the beginning and end of it. You’ll be encouraged to to do some soul bearing, strongly encouraged. You’ll be asked to find something that you did or went through and share it publicly. Sharing has therapeutic value but you should really think if you want to share it with a friend or two or a room of people you don’t necessarily know. Glad I went, glad I didn’t share my… Read more »
Why the deep need to have men in the audience?
The lack is in the women….
The Rebbe often said women reach out to women, and men to men. This is an age old part of our Torah. Plz don’t twist devorahs position- she didn’t do anything close to this.
Kol hakovod to the women who dropped out- true rebbetzins.
Read article again. Noone is confessing anything or baring souls in public
These are all inspiring talks full of Emunah and Bitachon ..
rather the messages & tone of the event is alien and pro feminist. this is not a few choshuve ladies speaking at a chines auction. and the idea that the audience votes u can vote on salads and kugels not on rebbetzins
Why not discuss this matter with chasidishe chabad rabanim and shluchim?
In my mind there appear to be two issues here. One about women speaking in public, and the second about the nature of these events. To me this sounds like another Call of the Shofar. Something just doesn’t seem right… people becoming euphoric because they have just exposed themselves in public and led to believe that the adrenaline rush from this “confession” somehow addresses the underlying problem, which will remain long after the rush sooner or later wears off. It’s sad to see that as Chasidim we are so desperate for direction, we’ll grab onto anything.
THE REBBE DISTINCTLY SAID THAT TODAY’S WOMEN ARE CONTINUING IN THE TORAH WAY.
WE JUST EXTENDED THE HOME A LITTLE MORE TO INCLUDE MORE JEWS!!!
SO OUR TZNIUS AND WAYS OF TALKING, WHICH IS PERMITTED ACCORDING TO TORAH, JUST HAS A BIGGER AUDIENCE!!!
YES, WITH ALL THE GARBAGE OUT THERE IN SOCIETY, IT IS COMFORTING FOR THE WORLD TO HEAR OUR BEAUTIFUL, FRUM AND BRIGHT WOMEN SPEAK ABOUT HEALTHY FAMILIES!!!!
The issue is not kol isha, which covers singing. This is an issue of halacha of tznius. That some rebbetzins took upon themselves to speak in front of men 20 years ago, does not make it halachically correct. Our Dayan asked said no and I therefore stick to speaking to women and do not find it restrictive. Devorah hanevioh spoke behind a mechitza. Perhaps if these ladies feel they must, then let one be put up. There are many things today that are not so ‘kosher’ and lines have been blurred, perhaps with the best of intentions, but tznius is… Read more »
I think something that missing from this conversation, is not so much that woman are talking publicly – these are all strong woman who lead communities and are always in the spotlight already. The tactics that are being used here are the issue – very much like Kol Of the Shofar where speakers are broken down – emotionally in front of many people, this issue is with regards to both woman and men. This is being framed as an anti woman thing, the point is being missed – it’s the tactics they are using for both men and woman –… Read more »
If ONE Jew becomes inspired by this event and decides to take a step forward in his/her Yiddishkeit, then it will have accomplished its purpose! There is nothing wrong with shluchas speaking to a crowd of Jews seeking to hear and connect to Torah. The point is to help people connect to the FRUM world. I am shocked that people would try to spin this any other way!!
Those who place judgement on others are often mirroring a personal deficiency that may need to be addressed, otherwise they wouldn’t be bothered by what they were seeing/hearing . This is a plain and simple psychological truth. To those who say that the women of Miami are lacking in any way shape or form , please reflect on what that means about you.
Seriously? I’ve always taken pride as being Chabad and coming from a open minded group of Chassidim. One that empowers women, doesn’t silence us and make us invisible and fade in to the shadows of the men. You have no idea how many times I try to read other Jewish publications like BizTank or Binah Magazine (that is catered to women!!!!!) and doesn’t have any photos of women. It makes me sick to my stomach. This kind of mentality is oppressive and harmful. I love that COL has photos of women and they don’t hide us or try to make… Read more »
#16, you think there’s going to be dancing on tables & general lewdness? What planet do you live on? Have you never been to a separate seating concert or lecture?
I am a mother of Shluchos & this is an amazing idea. I wish I could be there in the audience! Don’t let the bullies stop you. As for the ones who dropped out, I think it is very sad that you allow yourself to be beaten into submission by people who still live in the Dark Ages. I think it’s important to hear from women whose devotion and meisoros nefesh makes it possible for their husbands to do their work, rather than be kept under a rock.
Much Hatzlacha!!
Rabbi Weiss is quoted as saying: The Rebbe never encouraged us to hide our voices,” Weiss explains. “The Rebbe was proud of women who shared Torah and inspiration with the world. That is what is being done here. We are giving talks about emunah, hashgacha protis and accepting Hashem’s will with love”. The rebbe definitely encouraged women to inspire fellow women. It’s a huge stretch to say the same for women “inspiring” men….
Is this a Chabad event? Miami has a large non-chabad frum community – how many other Rebbetzins are participating?
As a BT I was shocked when I first moved to Miami there were very little female leaders I could look up to, everything I learned about tznius was not reflective with the more popular rebetzins. I find the premise interesting since these South Florida rebetzins are not hidden or in the background at all. I’d find this event much more interesting if it were geared towards small town shluchot who are no where near the limelight or barely get featured on COL, those that quietly host and bring in Jews on a personal level not with big events. To… Read more »
I’m trying to understand. It looks like the original purpose of the event was to hear specifically from “Rebbetzins.” Now, it seems that has changed, and it has become an event to support the concept of women speaking in public. So what, really, is now the agenda for this event?! Also, it would be interesting to hear from other Shluchos why they chose to back out… as opposed to only hearing from one specific Shlucha, who plans on speaking.
Walk or drive around crown heights and tell me why so many women under 30 don’t dress tzneiusdig. The Rebetzin’s should come to crown heights and lecture.
you say that there is no issue?! perhaps.
now there may be no visibly clear issue at hand.
but what may start with a public speaking event may turn to a total chaotic gathering where men and woman seem to lose all sense of common decency and baring for what it means to be a chassidic religious Jew.
“ayzehu chacham haroe et hanoled”
Great idea, but for women only. The Rebbe obm never suggested, for example, that one week the Shliach give the Shabbos droshoh in shul and the next week, his wife…
Why would you even say about tznius? Respect everyone for who they are! Women are allowed to use their voices.
I won’t say who said it over and over, but the klipah of US of America is pirsum – publicity. No better way to ruin things.
Why are some women allowed to speak before a mixed crowd in Chabad and others are not allowed? These women will be sharing stories of transforming a challenge through faith and inner strength. It was the women who inspired faith throughout our Jewish history!
Is the problem breaking halacha or people just aren’t comfortable with this? Or calling them rebetzins? This should be the biggest problem we have to deal with.
it says clearly these women are not sharing secrets or teaching something that men should not be hearing, they are simply talking about their roles if men can talk publicly about their roles in educating and serving the public, why is it not tznius for women to talk about the exact same topic?? if you are too sheltered to hear a woman’s voice that does not belong to your mother, do not attend. (although, you probably already do if you leave your house and step out into the real world) even without any regard to feminism and the movement, women… Read more »
These Rebbitzens are commited to Yiddishkei and The Rebbe and it for that reason that they are sharing… they have messages that can inspire others universally. this has nothing to do with the desire for the limelight. most of them are actually petrified of the public eye but are doing it anyway .
I believe it’s the process (preparing with the director, tov, nuances of this type of presentation and what they typically offer the crowd to be entertainment) is what’s mainly problematic. Yes women sometimes take the mike, but in this way, the agenda seems a far cry from what Rebbetzin Jungreis & Rivky Slonim have done
Only have women in the audience?
Who exactly condemned this event? Please provide facts with articles. Live in Miami and haven’t heard of any rabbi making a statement regarding this event!
Rivka Slonim and Esther Jungreis have very high standards…
Do these women asked to speak also have high standards?
Change it to women…it won’t be half as problematic. Rebbetzin is a word that is associated with a certain royalty, dedication, focus, goal, conviction – to Hashem, to the Rebbe, to Yiddishkeit, to chassidishkeit, to the nuances. Rebbetzins are women who do not seek attention or spot light or a microphone. They teach by example. By living . By being. By helping and by teaching the women. I don’t think people have a problem with the mic drop… generally it offers a more modern crowd. To take “rebbetzins” to such an even it counterproductive. you want to make the event… Read more »
How dare you generalize Rebbitzens in Miami. The grand majority are tsnius, beautiful, successful, and empowered shluchos who have so much to share . They are rebbitzens and leaders and gave impacted thousands of lives for the good.
On one hand there is the ‘women empowerment’ and mic-drop to inspire others… and it does. I watched some and they were quite interesting, watching the speaker unveil layers of shame or guilt or other negative feelings and stand proudly in front of the crowd. it is inspirational. We can also say that for these “women”- “Rebbetzins” it is acceptable to speak in publicly…like some other trailblazers have done… BUT it is not the accepted thing for women to stand publicly and speak in front of men. All the more so in Miami where not all “Rebbetzins” dress or behave… Read more »
This is a great start. No where in halacha does it say that woman are not allowed to talk publically. Thank you to whichever woman are doing this. They will be helping us all to have a voice. #sohappy