May 16, 2018
"Parents, Hug Your Daughters!"

Lecturer Rabbi Shais Taub pleads with parents of teenage girls to show them love at the dinner of Beis Chaya Mushka in Monsey.

By COLlive reporter

The renowned lecturer and author Rabbi Shais Taub, made a heartfelt plea to parents of teenage girls to show their love to their daughters, even pleading with them, "Please, hug your daughters."

Last week, as the Beis Chaya Mushka school in Monsey hosted its annual dinner celebrating 13 years, Rabbi Taub was on hand to deliver the keynote address on the importance of the education of girls.

Taub is a popular scholar and teacher of Jewish mysticism whose contributions to Jewish recovery include authoring the bestselling book, "G‑d of Our Understanding." He is a scholar in residence at Chabad of the Five Towns and columnist of AMI magazine.

In an impassioned talk, Taub spoke movingly about the need to "lift up" our daughters and show them our love so that they will be able to devote themselves to Torah and carrying on Yiddishkeit to the next generation.

"Sometimes, in being mechanech our daughters, we feel this false conflict between our love of Torah and our love of our daughters," said Taub. "But this conflict is not real. If you really love Torah, then for the sake of the Torah stop and lift up your daughter, show her your love, and she will grow to become a woman who fulfills all of Torah. And when I say 'pick up,' I also mean this literally. Hug your daughters!"

Taub also spoke about the difference between Pesach and Shavuos as two kinds of mesiras nefesh. "Pesach is being ready to die as a Jew. Shavuos is being ready to live as a Jew," said Taub. "Today, especially in the way we talk to our youth, the emphasis must be on Shavuos, living as a Jew."


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Opinions and Comments
What Sicha or Mamaar of our Rebbe is the last paragraph?
"Taub also spoke about the difference between Pesach and Shavuos as two kinds of mesiras nefesh. "Pesach is being ready to die as a Jew. Shavuos is being ready to live as a Jew," said Taub. "Today, especially in the way we talk to our youth, the emphasis must be on Shavuos, living as a Jew.""

??? Source ???
(5/16/2018 9:07:18 PM)
I agree!
And don't forget to verbally tell them you love them. Kids really need to hear that.
And please hug your sons too!
(5/16/2018 9:20:18 PM)
Thank you Rabbi Taub! I learn so much from all of your talks.
(5/16/2018 9:50:23 PM)
to #1
Isn't one of the points of V'atah Tetzaveh the importance of mesiras nefesh even in situations where we have freedom of religion and we are not being discriminated against?
(5/16/2018 9:53:19 PM)
Hug your sons too
And stop the child abuse, especially the physical abuse which disproportionately affects boys like me, but which girls are almost immune to.

An abused boy
(5/16/2018 9:59:59 PM)
Dying or living
The Slonimer Rebbeh the Nesivas Shalom zy"a (who was a Rosh Yeshivah in Lubavitch) asks on the Medrash that questions what Nisayon was harder for Avraham Avinu, to jump into the furnace or "lech lichuh", how can you compare the two?
He explains beautifully that as hard as it is to DIE as a Jew, it can be just as hard to LIVE as a Jew.
He says dying is a "Chad paamee" a one time action,
But living as a Yid is every minute of your life!
That is why the Medrash needed to compare the two of them to figure out which is greater.

Thank you Rav Shais for another great speech.

Avi Fishoff
(5/16/2018 10:26:21 PM)
Rav Elyashiv ztz"l
HaRav Elyashiv ztz"l said:
Every bachurah (teenage girl)
Needs a chaver (a boyfriend)
If the father has saichel
He'll do the job!


Avi Fishoff
(5/16/2018 10:29:04 PM)
If you hug your daughter till bas mitzvah...
and her husband hugs her after the chasuneh...
There are SOOOO many of our teenage girls R"L being hugged by the wrong people!!!
Hug your daughter and your son today and everyday.
Stop the emotional neglect, the abuse and the destroyed lives.
Klal Yisroel has suffered too much already.
it's time for k'Ish ehad, b'lev echad.
Love your kids with your whole entire heart.
(5/17/2018 12:27:16 AM)
#4 all the more so given #6
Rabbi Taub did not quote the maamar or the Rebbe or say a pi chassidus Chabad.
(5/17/2018 7:43:34 AM)
Great points by Rabbi Taub!

Just to point out what may be obvious. Different people express and receive love in different ways.

If your daughter (or son!) are uncomfortable with hugs please respect their boundaries and find ways of expressing love that they can appreciate!
(5/17/2018 10:32:50 AM)
hug your sons and your daughters, joke with them, show them open love like we want from HaShem, and they will love Torah because they will associate it with love and warmth.
(5/17/2018 10:45:53 AM)
To #8
Why would you stop hugging your daughters after bas mitzvah? That's when they need it the most as they try to make sense of of a chaotic world!

Hug all your kids, all the time, for no apparent reason. Teach them taht this is what parents do for their children and guess what? When they grow up and have kids they'll hug them too!
(5/17/2018 11:25:37 AM)
I agree with #10, to respect the boundaries, and if they don't want to be hugged, then don't. But there are "emotional hugs", such as when you're busy, you can just leave them a post-it note (or a card if theres time) saying happy birthday I love you....or whatever. There are many ways of showing love besides the non verbal hug. You can even buy their favorite fruit or vegetable or something which has their favorite color, just to show that you're thinking of them. its that emotional "hug". it does make a huge difference. its of course important to learn with them etc, but if they need that personal touch of love, then do it.
(5/17/2018 11:33:34 AM)
please post times of headlines
I clicked on link for a 40 min. video please post where the title can be found
(5/17/2018 10:47:07 PM)
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