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Wednesday, 26 Adar I, 5784
  |  March 6, 2024

It’s Just $90 But I Want It Back

From the COLlive inbox: My daughter was rejected from seminary. Some may say the author is bitter or being cynical. I disagree. Full Story

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133
April 29, 2018 11:48 am

we just have to realize how much Hashem loves us, and then everything will be okay <3

145
April 28, 2018 2:33 pm

“Before speaking lashon hara l’to’eles, it is a good idea to ask oneself, “Did I ever have a bad experience with this person? Is it possible that I harbor a dislike for him and I really want to see him in trouble?” many geniuses here do have resentment and dislike for the system, so its not 100% w/o negius and ltoeles. prat number 7 is misquoted. It should be like this : that the punishment would be less that that of bes din’s. the nezek/loss that the seminaries could suffer b/c of this is more than bes din’s punishment, If… Read more »

To 184
April 28, 2018 3:50 am

I’m 183. I think if they see our plight and come down off their high thrones and realise their Lubavitchers just like us and we have problems caused by them, they might see fit to change policies etc. I don’t think opening new institutions will change anything. Once the leaders of new institutions see the money rolling in, their eyes enlargen and their noses get stuck up. Facts of life. Human nature. Nefesh Habahamis.

a mom with understanding children
April 27, 2018 11:58 am

We are B”H done with the schooling part of our children. I will say when we had to deal with this “post graduation into seminary” part we sat down with our daughters and spoke straight to them. We asked them,” where do you want your money to go” ? for seminary in Israel that is for one year, but the memories are forever? or for your future wedding and home that will last forever and so will the memories? B”H, all our daughters went to the best seminary that we all really enjoyed which was Beth Rivka right here in… Read more »

The Truth Hurts
April 27, 2018 10:26 am

It’s not only this Seminary that renders deceitful behavior. The behavior of this Seminary and other Seminaries/Yeshivas within Lubavitch and outside demonstrate that the they only care about the almighty dollar. It’s an obligation for a parent to give their children a Jewish education. So why are all these schools trying to profit on this notion. So this Parent trying to do the right thing and apply to a seminary that take the money gleefully. Then rejects anyone from that high school. They had no intention to even look at the applications. It’s such a travesty when Jewish institutions try… Read more »

Zal
April 27, 2018 10:17 am

The same thing is with zal my son was also rejected and everyone from his School was also

DESTRUCTIVE YEARS IN ZAL
April 27, 2018 10:00 am

The years in zal, besides being a HUGE waste of money, is actually quite destructive. You are not taught independance. You are taught group think. You do not cook for yourself or care for yourself. You are on a all-expenses disney land like experience, courtesy your parents. From my experience, the bochurim come back less relatable, more selfish, more self-centered, in gashmius and in ruchnius. Even the ruchnius there is ridiculous, cause its not at all practical. They simply become self-absorbed. Not to mention, that they are shipped all over the country for their “off-shabbos’ and G-d have mercy and… Read more »

Agree and annoyed!!
April 27, 2018 12:26 am

I totally agree with the writer, most of the time before you even have the interview the interviewer knows you not going to be accepted. This has got to stop and they must definately give a refund to those who gethink rejected. Also you dont want to have to apply to more than one sem because you dont want to spend so much money on the interviews and by the time you find out if you rejected theres no more space in lots of the sems!!! Seriously though this is totally unfair!!!

#183
April 26, 2018 10:19 pm

I disagree. The individuals in charge of these institutions are causing this so why would they change? Change will only come when better institutions open up and parents send there instead.

Att Collive
April 26, 2018 7:48 pm

Can you please show ALL these comments and concerns to tzach, merkoz and the heads of each individual yeshiva, seminary, mesivta and Camp under the Rebbes name please? The Rebbe doesn’t stand for a thing these people are doing. The only hiskashrus they HAD was when they didn’t mix into politics and let money get the better of them. Now I guess things are different. Lubavitch and the Lubavitch communities feelings and beliefs are embedded in this comments forum for this article and the only way we can progress and grow is if each of these comments is read by… Read more »

Destructive Year in Israel
April 26, 2018 7:25 pm

The year in Israel, besides being a HUGE waste of money, is actually quite destructive. You are not taught independance. You are taught group think. You do not cook for yourself or care for yourself. You are on a all-expenses disney land like experience, courtesy your parents. From my experience, the girls come back less relatable, more selfish, more self-centered, in gashmius and in ruchnius. Even the ruchnius there is ridiculous, cause its not at all practical. They simply become self-absorbed. Not to mention, that they are shipped all over the country for their “off-shabbos’ and G-d have mercy and… Read more »

Michlelet Chana - A New post seminary Academy in Crown Heights
April 26, 2018 5:34 pm

The time after seminary is the time for a young woman to explore new directions, laying a foundation for a personal and professional future. Our new post seminary academy was created to give you an opportunity to pursue personal development, further grow in Torah, Chassidus and Nigleh on an advanced level, while pursuing shlichus- or vocational training. Michlelet Chana aims to create a warm, nurturing environment in which students can clarify and solidify what it means to be a Bas Chabad while pursuing 16 credit hours per week. Each semester, you will be able to select your classes to meet… Read more »

open new local seminary - save your bill and make your community stronger
April 26, 2018 1:59 pm

Why your daughter is dreaming about expensive year in Israel… save your bills for her higher education and hasuna …. why you want to support Israeli education and economy instead of helping your local community grow , by opening new seminary – you will help your locals with new jobs , and businesses with better income that can support your daughter education too by giving donations back to this institution…. your daughter will live with you at home or in a close state and can visit home more often ….. make her some volunteer jobs in the community to have… Read more »

Non Chabad sem
April 26, 2018 11:32 am

I actually regret going to BT sem in Israel. I went for four months and made my learning level prior to going clear. Besides learning Hebrew I did not learn anything else because they refused to provide learning on my level. It would have been better to go to a Neve or one of the other Modern Sems because they teach how to learn, Shulchan Aruch, Rashi, commentaries and gemora to women. If I had known that Chabad BT sems don’t teach real learning, I would have definitely gone modern orthodox just to master the learning I missed as child.… Read more »

#175
April 26, 2018 11:26 am

May I differ; seminary is the MOST LIFE CHANGING experience for many girls.

I attended an incredible seminary (not in Israel, not in America) and it changed our lives. We became some mentschen and chassidim over there.

Think twice. Seminary is not for teaching and it’s not for Shlichus, but bettering your own self is just as lofty as a goal.

I agree
April 26, 2018 11:07 am

I have direct knowledge regarding a particular seminary, where I know with certainty that the tuition covers the budget,(building paid for, food scarce, the teachers are encouraged to donate their time for “The Rebbe’s daughters” read: free labour), and with the justification of running said seminary members of the administration travel worldwide to raise funds (IE stealing from donors and from those who will not receive these funds as given to the fraudulent seminary). I discussed this with someone I know personally from whithin the institution, and his reaction to me with about this behaviour was simply (translated from hebrew):… Read more »

To 108
April 26, 2018 10:48 am

Very not true. And from personal experience certain seminaries won’t accept girls because of the school they go to or if they don’t like the hanhala etc

Stop the trend
April 26, 2018 9:11 am

If a girl is interested in becoming an educator, she should thoroughly review the 12 years of school, and privately take courses with experienced teachers for several months. If you want to be a shlucha, spend time with a shliach and get experience. If you are not interested in either, you don’t belong in seminary to begin with. Don’t waste your time and your parents money. When all girls stop the trend of going to seminary the problem will be solved immediately. If you think going go seminary is preparation for marriage, there are plenty of books written by orthodox… Read more »

seminary drama
April 26, 2018 8:43 am

There is a seminary in Israel that does not accept girls from a certain school in South America. It is a political reason and yes it known. The girls do not apply there bc they would not even take the application.
In this case if it is known that the school your daughter attend will not be accepted, yes, they should not take the application. Or give you back the money.
As per “only if you are realted” I do not agree. My daughter was I a great seminary and we are baal tshuvah parents and not shluchim.

My thoughts
April 26, 2018 6:09 am

To the repsonse that she should go to a non lubavutch sem I disagree. The mehalech specifically tailored for our girls is important in building shluchos and the future of chabad mothers etc.

Not just seminaries
April 26, 2018 4:10 am

I have not read all the above comments. I had a similar situation, I am not complaining that my daughter didn’t get accepted to that particular seminary. (She is having a fantastic experience in Bais Rivka NY). However I did speak to a relative who worked in the seminary and she said 260 girls applied for 50 spaces. $26,000!! $26,000 is not needed to fly a member of staff to NY to interview,nor to process applications. ($50 would be a fair amount to show sincerity for a person’s interest) (When a group of parents wanted to have a staff member… Read more »

to 147
April 26, 2018 3:39 am

which sem do you send your girls to ?
my daughter won’t be going to that one i can assure you!

Please can someone recommend a seminary where she will be with girls coming from a kind , gentle , good middos and secure backgrounds .
thank you.

I could have written in this article!
April 26, 2018 2:44 am

It is so disillusioning. We tried instill in our children self-confidence. The intimidation the girls have before the interview and during because of the reputation of the head of the seminary ( my daughter just had this experience a couple of months ago) feels that we are being taken advantage of!!
My daughter walks away from the interview feeling rejected already.
Such a lack of warmth. How can this be representing what our Rebbe wants??
We feel so taken advantage of.

To number 116 and everyone else
April 26, 2018 12:12 am

You do not have to go to seminary to know that lashon hora is assur. In general ,I am always saddened when I see that instead of addressing attention to issues only,col allows itself to be the medium for lashon horah ,rechilus ,and Mitzi Shem rah . Please please,at a time when we see so many toros let’s all be more careful with our words. Lashon horah is the verbal reflection of a lack of Ahavas Yisroel. Let’s address issues only ,and before we do remember,judging people favorably applies to heads of institutions also.!

So happy
April 25, 2018 9:34 pm

So happy this was said. More people should come out on how hey feel about our kids OUR MONEY OUR CHINUCH.

I don't believe...
April 25, 2018 9:24 pm

I don’t believe 163 and 164. The author is not speaking loshon hara no names were used or even hints. He’s raising awareness about a serious issue and B”H people are passionate about this – they should be zombies???

I consider it a brocha that this is out in the open not to kvetch and start trouble about it ch’v but to motivate those who can and will to start something better. I bet the author already went to askanim and gvirim and deans and nothing happened.

I am all 3 boxes
April 25, 2018 9:01 pm

Yet my child as not accepted….. and she to a few seminaries, so I as out couple of 100$ , I think they are making their budget on the application money.

A New post seminary academy in Crown Heights
April 25, 2018 8:23 pm

The time after seminary is the time for a young woman to explore new directions, laying a foundation for a personal and professional future. Our new post seminary academy was created to give you an opportunity to pursue personal development, further grow in Torah, Chassidus and Nigleh on an advanced level, while pursuing shlichus- or vocational training. Michlelet Chana aims to create a warm, nurturing environment in which students can clarify and solidify what it means to be a Bas Chabad while pursuing 16 credit hours per week. Each semester, you will be able to select your classes to meet… Read more »

I'll give you the 90$
April 25, 2018 7:11 pm

I’ll give you the 90$ that you want back !!! Just so you won’t go and badmouth lubavitcher moisdois and be the cause of loshon hara of lubavitcher moisdois.
You want change? Posting on col is not constructive.. it is destructive.
You want change? Get askanim and gvirim and deans involved.

From a girl in sem
April 25, 2018 6:31 pm

First of all do u have any idea how much time is spent on the application process!?!?! The heads of sems spend a week in ch which they wouldn’t do if they were just coming in for chof beis shvat and then we all sem girls go away for pesach they r still busy with all the applications Of course the school makes a difference! All institutions accept based on we’re u were previously Bec duh a school has an affect on u! But they still go through every application Bec maybe they’ll find a girl who will gain from… Read more »

Nothing will change
April 25, 2018 6:22 pm

Nothing will change unless we DO SOMETHING about this. Everyone just writing comments, screaming and crying wont get anything done. We need ACTION.
And to all those saying that girls dont need to go seminary…why then is it considered odd if one doesnt? And it DOES affect Shidduchim.
I wish there was a solution to this mess

My daughter also rejected from a seminary in Israel this year
April 25, 2018 6:08 pm

My daughter is also from a school that is constantly rejected from a specific seminary in Israel EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Im sure getting the money back would be an amazing thing but thats not covering the problem at all. This specific seminary also told her school that they accept their applicants 90% based on their application test grade. Their tests are also 80% Ivrit and include really hard random questions. This means that any girl who doesn’t have straight As in her class or who isn’t the biggest smart aleck in Judaic studies is automatically turned away from this seminary.… Read more »

Agree & disagree
April 25, 2018 5:31 pm

To #13 – I think your comment is fair.

To the author: If the application specifically says the $90 is non-refundable, you went into it with your eyes wide open. Did you approach them respectfully to ask them to kindly refund your fee? Or did you burst in calling them thieves?

The fact that every girl from your daughter’s HS was rejected is another fight altogether.

Truth
April 25, 2018 5:07 pm

I love the rebbe and live by his teachings. Never will I ever send my kids to a Chabad school. The system is absurd. Especially the seminaries. The girls lie their way through the interviews in order to get in. This shouldn’t be chinuch. Lying about who ur friends with, what you do on a Sunday, etc just to get into seminary. It’s all just a hype.

scaminary
April 25, 2018 5:05 pm

my daughter was told she would not be allowed to go on the Israel trip because she took off afew days to stay home and look after me and the family as i was very ill and bed bound for 6 weeks which she explained to the dean.
This is Chinuch ??!!!
Don’t bother with sem .

Go to MONTREAL SEMINARY!
April 25, 2018 5:05 pm

I went to Montreal seminary and had an incredible experience, full of growth and enjoyment. It has top standards bgashmiyus and bruchniyus. The schedule is full of opportunity that every chassidishe girl should have the privilege of experiencing. Its a place to grow as a chassidishe mensch.

Truth
April 25, 2018 5:05 pm

Chabad does out reach yet no IN REACH. Esepcialy the seminaries… they want the “perfect girl”… good grades etc

Agree
April 25, 2018 5:03 pm

The Chabad seminary system…. They make it so hard for the girls to get it and make it such a privilege … the other non Chabad seminaries are incredible, nice, warm and welcoming. To the seminary directors: good luck with your seminary “business” in the next few years

Application Questions
April 25, 2018 4:49 pm

WHY DOES THE CAMP NEED TO KNOW MOTHER’S MAIDEN NAME? What diffreence does mother’s maiden name make? I want to write: Schneerson-McDonald. I don’t ask for a discount or scholarship, so – WHY DO NEED TO KNOW MY OCCUPATION? What difference does my job make? I want to write: Sanitation worker and Part Time Godol Hador. At best, it seems irrelevant and plain yentish, but it also smells of bias, caste. connections… It would be more appropriate to ask the height and weight of the applicant! It would be more appropriate to ask if parents have a mashpai/rov and his/her… Read more »

To #140
April 25, 2018 4:40 pm

It sounds like you have BH a large family and are struggling with tuition. Have you paid full tuition when your kids were in elementary? Have you paid full tuition when your kids were in HS? Do you owe anyone money?

How can you possibly justify sending your daughter to an expensive seminary when there are cheaper alternatives? “all their friends are going” is not an excuse for THEFT.

Its really true
April 25, 2018 4:05 pm

This is really not a joke that can be taken lightly by parents or schools. If a girl is rejected, and the letters are sent late in the year they have no options open. All their high school years that gave them direction and purpose will now be lost as the next year is spent at home. The next options are either college sadly or a shlichus job which they are not ready for and abruptly ends their childhood and ability to grow to be a leading mechanech or shlucha.
There has to be a solution.

Disgraceful system!!
April 25, 2018 4:01 pm

We went through this last year with my daughter. The deans are liars poor examples. They are turning many girls off. We need more opportunities for our girls (&boys). We need to focus on strengthening our children!!! Our future shluchim/shluchos. Our future mothers and fathers. We were told there is no space that’s why your daughter is not accepted s. Well 2 weeks later a wealthy relative of the dean and

positive energy is helpful!
April 25, 2018 3:59 pm

So many angry, bitter people talking here. How sad. I for one, as a parent of many daughters, have seen seminary be a life changing experience for my daughters. I find the Hanhalah of the seminaries that my daughters have gone to to be dedicated, responsible, caring, responsive — and have instilled in (most of) my daughters many many very important values and mindsets. Perhaps they had them beforehand and they are being reinforced, but I found, each and every time, that they came home better people, as a result of the positive learning experience and fabrengens and exposure to… Read more »

Entitlement
April 25, 2018 3:42 pm

You are offended. Your ego was hurt and demand “justice”. LEARN form the experience to become better. Treat “others’ better! The stranger in shul – welcome him! The soon shidduch proposal – take it serious (even if the family is beneath your stature). The guy driving and trying to switch lanes – let him in your lane. The $90 should educate YOU and your daughter.

To 108
April 25, 2018 3:25 pm

And you can marry any guy 🙂

Colleges charge an application fee
April 25, 2018 3:18 pm

Time to wake up and get with the program. You wouldn’t complain to a college for charging an application fee (-they all do)? And suppose you are applying from a low-level school, you WILL get rejected by Ivy League colleges – and guess what? NO REFUND! So, you, my friend, need to THINK before you apply and send your $ (that’s why we have a head, it serves more purpose then to hold our hat in place). Believe it or not, it costs the school to open your application, read it, make calls, discuss it etc. Just $90 is CHEAP… Read more »

From The Author
April 25, 2018 3:15 pm

To # 134. No one appointed me. I am simply stating if a seminary decides to exclude an entire school from being accepted, they should decline to interview the girls. I am alleging that they decided this pre-interview season. I believe that this was planned. #139. I am asking for a refund for the families that paid the fee. The fee was taken on false pretenses if the seminary decided to deny admission to all girls from my daughter’s school prior to the interview process. That seems to be the case. I went to the internet for 1 reason, I… Read more »

number 137 - the truth hurts
April 25, 2018 3:13 pm

According to the chofetz chaim (which is NOT taught by the seminaries in Tzfas) 1. The person has to know for sure that the action has occurred. That has been confirmed personally and as is also evidenced by the number of disgruntled parents on this post alone; in addition to the hundreds who are not airing their grievances. 2. He must be certain that the person actually did something wrong. Read the posts to verify their misleading geneivas. 3. Before telling others, he must first speak to the guilty party in a soft tone and attempt to con­vince him to… Read more »

Bais chomesh
April 25, 2018 3:08 pm

Come to bais chomesh seminary!
It offers the full expetience, chassidish groups every year
Trip to the ohel and niagra falls

Sem is not necessary!
April 25, 2018 2:55 pm

Seminary is luxury, not a necessity!
If you happen to have an extra 20k floating in your account, you can use it towards giving her a fun, trip-filled (and hungry and lots of other negative experiences that she is afraid to tell you after you spent so much). Or you can use it towards a down payment for her, which she will be much much more grateful for.
And if you don’t have 20k, why are you sending her??? If she wants to go, she can take out a line of credit and pay for it herself!

seems like a very hot topic
April 25, 2018 1:48 pm

this is telling in itself. my daughter skipped seminary bc of the fees and went straight onto shlichus. B”H. i remember one parent approaching me suggesting we change schools bc the seminary she had in mind would not accept from our school. her child left the school so she would be accepted (and succeeded) and i said, if they wont accept girls from this school (a very good school) i am not interested in their seminary. when will things change? we care about about children, and they seems to be capitalizing on that. also capitalizing on the “shidduch resume.” I… Read more »

A girl in seminary
April 25, 2018 1:19 pm

I’m actually student in chithik and I think that being rejected it’s not always something bad it’s an experience, if a girl can’t accept being rejected she will never accept being rejected in her life and unfortunately we are sometimes rejected during life!!! Second of all If some parents think their daughter experiences cost less than 90$ it’s sad!!! I think also that parent are feeling worth than their daughter but they should let their daughter grow and having experiences by their own!!! Seminary it’s something really important, it’s part of chinuch, and transform girls in women, I get that… Read more »

#123 dreaming???
April 25, 2018 1:08 pm

Telling us to “focus more of our finances on paying the schools” is pointless. I’m happy you were able to afford seminary for your 1 daughter. A lot of us have many daughters and sons ka”h and are one day away from eviction. #121 not so simple to “stop spending on seminary” when all their friends are going. I agree with #99 why should he start “scaling” and accepting hundreds of students? The quality would go way down. The answer to all of these problems is simple: Open new, smaller schools/seminaries/yeshivas – lots of them – with administrators that really… Read more »

that seminary did the right thing in rejecting your daughter
April 25, 2018 12:24 pm

If she comes form a family in which the father will go on the internet to complain about sour grapes

102: that's not what the rebbe wanted
April 25, 2018 12:19 pm

but the rebbe wanted you to go on the internet spreading loshon hara?

one more thing: it is also loshon hara to praise some one in front of his/her haters, because that increases their hatred and causes them to say loshon hara. I know all the people defending and praising various seminaries here have good intentions, but keep this halacha in mind!

number 40 and 116
April 25, 2018 12:15 pm

why don’t you guys learn chofetz chaim before throwing away your olam haba with loshon hara. your bad mouthing a seminary has no heter. does not fulfill the 7 protim. do you even know what they are?

by the way,
don’t you EVER say who educated you, because your am haratzus is an embarrassment to them.

Do not cry over spilled milk ....
April 25, 2018 12:13 pm

This is indeed just a few drops on the floor compared to what you have ahead in shidduchim!

Bais Rivka vs Israel
April 25, 2018 12:12 pm

Hate to break it to you but Bais Rivka plus room and board is about the same as seminary in Israel. Only difference is that in NY she may be able to get a job part time .

who appointed this loud mouth writer to become the chohen mishpat dayan? as if she knows what stealing is or isnt!
April 25, 2018 12:07 pm

It is the schools choice who to accept. It is a private institution. If you think there is no choice of you getting in, so don’t apply! all educational institutions operate like this. they look at the school the student went to/ If you are a good student, you get in, but the school you attended says something about you. Apply to a seminary that will take you! and if no one takes you, so you have the problem, not them. its so easy to blame everybody else.

Emunah and Bitachon
April 25, 2018 12:01 pm

It’s all we need. Whatever happens is hashgacha pratis- in or out

JUST SAYING
April 25, 2018 11:44 am

don’t say that CH girls don’t get accepted…because when I was in seminary… over 50% were from BR and BM

NOT ONLY THE SEMINARY FEE ITSELF....
April 25, 2018 11:43 am

Not only the fees…but how about the excluded, separate payments for washing machines. And dryers. (Or hang up your clothing to result in crunchy underwear- your call). Separate chanuka trip fees. And Ukraine trip in rosenfeld seminary? The pressures when your daughter cries down the phone that she doesn’t know where or how to fundraise and the whole seminary already confirmed they are going on the trip.. and spending money on travel…and food when there isn’t enough , or it’s not to the girls liking , and taking a snack from the kitchen isn’t an option – Or they will… Read more »

It's better if she's home
April 25, 2018 11:16 am

Is there a seminary in your town that your daughter could attend? It seems like your daughter would have felt not comfortable in that seminary. Instead of pushing girls to go to seminary, it might be better for them to have informal classes and work in the day helping strengthen Yiddishkeit.

seminaries are problematic these days
April 25, 2018 11:14 am

Unfortunately the entire seminary experience is not what it should be. The girls do not necessarily come out more chassidish. Many come out more chutzpadik in fact and more independent and not at all the way they should be as true chassidishe daughters. It is not right to charge a fee for parents to apply to a seminary. Interviews are conducted when people are in town anyhow. Nobody pays an extra ticket to come meet the girls. The time put into meeting the girls is just like someone going to a job interview. You dont pay money for a job… Read more »

End Seminary
April 25, 2018 11:12 am

Parents with BH large families not only have to think about the $20,000 for their daughter to attend seminary but B’ezras Hashem and Boruch Hashem for Simchas, shortly after when their daughter is engaged they also have to come up with thousands of dollars for a wedding $$ plus there could be the next daughter ready to go to seminary for another $20,000 cost. How do people do it! A friend of mine told me about a course her local Chabad High School offered their 11th and 12th graders using a Workbook from a Highly known author for Financial Planning.… Read more »

Complain to the seminary
April 25, 2018 11:11 am

While you didn’t mention the name of the seminary, perhaps it could be avek lashon hara. Maybe the parents from the school that your daughter attended or its principals should speak to the seminary about this perceived injustice or take the seminary to bais din.

Read the application
April 25, 2018 10:55 am

When you apply it clearly says that the registration fee is NON REFUNDABLE whether the girl is accepted or not. It’s your decision to apply there in the first place. I know which school your daughter goes to and they make them believe they will get into any seminary they want. It’s your decision to apply and when you decide to apply to that specific seminary you are agreeing to pay a non refundable application fee.

A student ...
April 25, 2018 10:53 am

I’m actually in seminary and I think being rejected it’s also an experience to have sometimes and if your daughter can’t accept being rejected, she also will not accept being rejected in her life!!! if you think your daughter cost less than 90$ it’s sad!! And by the way I think parents are feeling worth than their daughter !! Let your daughter having experiences and grow by her own!! Seminary give you so much even if it’s a bit expensive you should send your daughter in seminary

Not a problem
April 25, 2018 10:51 am

I can’t even imagine paying the tuition fees mentioned in this thread, I have enough difficulty with my 5k per kid per school as it is. 15,000-20,000 chalomot neimim.

Someone somewhere said that if something can’t go on forever it wont, and I do not for one second believe that my generation, which typically isn’t landed and taking in rent from tenants or borrowing on equity, is going salary themselves into paying for a $20,000 year long getaway right before they start worrying about a chasuna.

Sad joke, time to start getting married earlier.

Been there...
April 25, 2018 10:42 am

The author has many valid points. There are so many financial demands on parents in Lubavitch. Especially if you live outside of Crown Heights. Kids expect to go away to camp. On top of the high prices for camp, add in the airfare. Mesivtas require bochurim to go to a summer learning program. My kids were in the minority that only went to one session. I see so many people complaining about seminary costs. Don’t get me wrong, there are valid complaints. But I have seen many families that some how send there kids to far off camps, travelling programs,… Read more »

I agree with 66
April 25, 2018 10:21 am

BR has Pell Tap etc where the girls can get credit for a degree.

To #99
April 25, 2018 10:01 am

You sound like a thoughtful person and I’m glad you are involved in chinuch. I take issue with what you wrote “Although surely not the specific responsibility of the school being applied to” Let me explain. We have a serious problem that many try to blame on “supply and demand”. Look how many commentators write we need more seminaries as if that will solve all the problems. The fact is elementary schools charge much less than seminaries and because parents cannot send their kids away at this age, they end up getting large scholarships but know well that when it… Read more »

To #66 WOW!!!!!!!
April 25, 2018 9:42 am

I feel like I wrote this. Like you, it took me years to discover they don’t care about our kids. Not only in seminary but K-12. How naive were we? Just 3 years ago I wouldn’t have believed what you said but now I know and the only thing you left out is the spinelessness of the parents. Question: How are people paying for these seminaries? Author: thank you, the Rebbe speaks through people like you.

Whose to blame? THE PARENTS!
April 25, 2018 9:41 am

You don’t have 20k to spend on a luxury year long trip to Israel? Don’t spend it! Stop blaming the seminary, the Rabbinim, the system, the weather, and everything else. Grow a spine, and tell your daughter you aint payig for this ridiculous joke called seminary. Your daughter will be fine, and you will have a 20k less to pay back to other people instead of borrowing like a fool. If you can afford a 20k luxury seminary for your daughter, great! It’s your money do as you wish. Supply and demand people, wake up to realitu. NOTHING is changing,… Read more »

Researcher
April 25, 2018 9:32 am

Just to point something out, an out of towner going to BR and staying in the dorm is spending the same money as going to Israel

the old who you know vs what you know
April 25, 2018 9:30 am

there is a hierarchy name/gezher to name/gezher name/gezher to money/ w/dates, marriage/ schools jobs. thats first then down the line so to speak. this is the reality of the community. no its not really fair or right but nothing you can do to change it. I choose to live my life by picking quality people into my life and not letting it bother me too much. yes you should get your $90 back but reality is that you won’t. dont waste your time or energy on something your not going to change find a better place for your daughter. you… Read more »

Bais Chana Tzfas
April 25, 2018 9:27 am

As a former seminary student of the chitricks seminary, I agree 100%. They charge a rediculous amount, put the girls in dumps, do not focus at all on the gashmius, and forget that the girls are humans who deserve to be treated like humans. Girls get brainwashed because of lack of proper sleep,food, and genreal care. A girl can die under her bed and no one would even know! The seminary is huge so theres no personal attention or care. The learning is way overrated. This is what parents slave to afford??? Yes, the group of girls is amazing which… Read more »

The heads are actually wonderful people
April 25, 2018 9:18 am

I think its important that you and your child remember that hashem places you where you need to end up where is best for you. Hashem loved you and cares about every detail of your life. It’s not because something someone did

Parents have no spine
April 25, 2018 9:18 am

I hate to say it but it would be a big brocho for Lubavitch if Israeli sems close up or stop taking out of towners. The parents don’t have the spine to tell their daughters Israel is not an option and take money they don’t have and put it towards this rubbish.

to 66
April 25, 2018 9:14 am

so u went to ( and encourage ) college only to find a job working in a seminary ??!!

Been there, done that.
April 25, 2018 9:05 am

My daughter wanted to skip 12th grade in the US and go to a seminary that took girls who completed 11th grade. I called the menaheles to discuss and described the situation and she encouraged her to apply, to the tune of $150 application fee. When My daughter was informed that they could not accept her because of a board policy that American girls had to have finished high school, I requested the application fee be returned because the menaheles should have known that policy before encouraging the application, but she refused. Ganeivah? You decide.

Bais Chana Tzfas Student
April 25, 2018 8:57 am

Everyone has MAJOR misconceptions about seminary!!!
I think it’s a very necessary part of a woman’s chinuch!
Most ppl who posted don’t have true facts, as they haven’t experienced it themself.
I completely vouch for seminary and think it’s vital to experience before marriage

Please post ASAP
April 25, 2018 8:44 am

Please share your GOOD EXPERIENCES about other seminaries. The more detail, the better so parents will hopefully flood to the others and ignore these (if they have the courage, which is doubtful).

So far I’ve seen great recommendations for Gateshead, Milan, CH. Tell us more, more, more… !!

#85 compares this mess to Harvard? Our institutions should try to emulate the elitist behavior of the goyim? Davka we should do the opposite. Jews weren’t even allowed into those anti-Semitic institutions.

Been There
April 25, 2018 8:39 am

As a parent with our eldest daughter in seminary I went through a very similar scenario last year. I understand the need for an application fee, but as the author of the Op-Ed states – if a school has a policy not to accept from particular high schools’, they should be upfront about that. In addition I would like to point out that one of the seminaries in Israel asks not only for the mother’s maiden name but for the families that your children have married into. This is utterly reprehensible. With Seyata DeShmaya, Baruch HaShem, our daughter found a… Read more »

apply to MSY
April 25, 2018 8:26 am

and you’ll be accepted/rejected based on your individual qualities.

concur
April 25, 2018 8:24 am

I believe this same seminary rejected both my daughters several years ago and did not even bother to send us “rejection” letters!! BH, they both ended up going to Milan and had wonderful and fulfilling years!!!

Disagree
April 25, 2018 8:20 am

Sorry, unless the author heard it directly from the sem, it is speculation to assume the sem had already decided not to accept anyone from that school. Maybe the girls individually didn’t fit the criteria of that sem? My own daughters both got accepted into top sem, my son went to Brunoy, and we are not ghez, have no money, and no connections. They worked hard for it. I have suffered in other areas (shidduchim etc.) due to lack of connections, lack of yichus, but that is the real world. ‘Fair’ is a made-up concept. Doesn’t exist in ANY real… Read more »

BHNY
April 25, 2018 8:13 am

The best Seminary in our days is Bais Rivka CH. It’s the Rebbe’s place and the sviva is there and lately has a good and different curriculum. I applaud this Seminary where my other daughters were as well.
I rather keep the money to help my kids with downpayment.
The Sem of EY didn’t have the Zchus to have her .

Mechaneches
April 25, 2018 8:02 am

Welcome to seminary. “This” letter is written every year at this time and the responses are all the same. The situation will not change until the parents get together and demand a change. Otherwise this will continue to be the norm.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to seminary.They keep girls dangling for weeks AFTER everyone has gotten answers, just in case someone better applies. The system is corrupt to the core. But change can only come if parents band together

Highway Robbery
April 25, 2018 7:53 am

ואין פוצה פה…
Where are our leaders?
Our Rabbonim?
Also being blackmailed?

ROSENFELD and CHITRIK!!!
April 25, 2018 6:46 am

My friend applied and was rejected as she was told there was no more available spaces, and the next month her friend was accepted and added a few extra zero’s to her application!!!
This system has to change!!
The money hunting people in charge have got to go. This is not what the Rebbe wanted!

From south america
April 25, 2018 6:31 am

I have three daughters: the first went to sem in Montreal with almost the entire class, and applied only for this sem. In that time there was only one school chabad were I live. The second wanted to go to Montreal like her sister did, but she applied also for Rosenfeld. She never got an answer from Rosenfeld although I payed the U$ 100. In the meantime another chabad school opened in the city and Chitrik literally said that would not accept girls from that school. They were very transparent about this, so no one spent with interview fees. On… Read more »

I agree
April 25, 2018 6:29 am

My daughter had the same experience 2 years ago! They didn’t take any girls from her high school as well. Not only that the American woman who was the interpreter giving the interview was extremely rude and not nice. She kept pressing my daughter why she wants to go to Israel and not just take a year off and tour? Mind u my daughter is a star student and Bh a good girl! The process is disgusting. They need u to pay for their first class tickets and lodgings Sadly nothing will change until every parent decides to boycott the… Read more »

Dear Author,
April 25, 2018 6:26 am

I’m not involved in seminaries, I’m involved in Yeshivas. 1) Your theory is that girls from a certain high school were automatically blacklisted. Your evidence is that no girls from this school were accepted. You feel you were deceived into registering, and would like a refund. – I understand your theory and I empathise with your frustration; that said, until you hear directly from the heads of the seminary that they never intended to consider accepting from your daughter’s specific high school, you need to leave open the possibility that your assessment is based on the rumor mill and perhaps… Read more »

Important to know
April 25, 2018 6:11 am

The seminary system is very frustrating…. I’ve been there……. about 15 yrs ago. I was lucky to go to seminary but at the time it was a relatively new seminary that gave a discount, and my parents couldn’t afford these huge bills. What I think we all need to know is that where you end up is from Hashem, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do everything you can according to nature, but it is from Hashem, And the main thing is you will still get married no matter what. I didn’t get in to the best seminary but I got… Read more »

Seriously people!
April 25, 2018 6:02 am

The same topic comes up EVERY YEAR!!!
The entire Sem/Yeshiva application process needs a severe overhaul!
Students and parents alike are anxious about the current application process and someone needs to put a stop to all the nepotism and underhand behaviour that goes on!
A stand must be made.
What should be a sure victory for our children, sadly over the years has turned into a complete political debacle.

Support for comment number 22
April 25, 2018 5:52 am

I am also a parent from the U.K.. I completely agree 100%. I am also from the U.K. I had a very similar situation. When I tried to gather support from various so called influential leaders, mashpi’im, rabbonim etc. I hit a brick wall. With no other choice my daughter’s decided to get real proper teaching qualifications (P.G.C.E.), secular and kodesh, obtained in a completely kosher way, which are accecpted all over the world. Very dissapointed how Lubavitch handled the whole situation. For people who may be worried about shidduch prospects. Please don’t worry. Hashem makes shidduchim, not the heads… Read more »

Achdus gives power
April 25, 2018 4:52 am

Don’t blame the pigs,but the one that feed them.its time to unite all the parents (today is easy trough a online group)to boycott the seminars that abuses the chabad family’s with overcharging and unfair policies.

United Kingdom
April 25, 2018 4:02 am

Parents imagine that going to Isreal etc etc will broaden their daughters’ outlook and experiences
True it is fun
But fun can be had anywhere and any seminary of which there are loads in Israel of all pursuations
If true education is desired the only seminary is Gateshead whose leadership is impeccable
The Rebbe used to send girls to Gateshead and anyone reviewing girls’ note books will be overwhelmed by the quality and indeed quantity of the knowledge emparted
No swindles just honest people with ever so good track record

Look in our own neighborhood
April 25, 2018 3:36 am

You need not look accross the Atlantic – our own community is plagued with problems like this! And we judge, scoff and wonder why Jewish parents put their children in public schools? If you are not related to big families or well connected or very wealthy, it is almost impossible to keep your children in the Yeshiva system here. And they could care less if you are sleeping in the street or a shelter because you paid your tuition BEFORE your rent. THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY! It is absolutely cruel to do this to parents and their… Read more »

I have another issue that no one brought up
April 25, 2018 3:13 am

I live in Israel and these seminary girls are constantly begging for places to eat and sleep every other shabbos PLUS yomim tovim! The seminaries DUMP these girls stranded, and I don’t even know these girls personally! I finally decided that I will not even take one more seminary girl to eat or sleep by me because they : 1) do not offer to help prepare for shabbos 2) don’t offer to play or read a book to my child while I slave away hosting these girls I don’t know 3) if mentchlichkeit doesn’t come naturally to these seminary girls,… Read more »

To #46
April 25, 2018 12:38 am

We had something similar happen: a yeshivah gedolah had a few applicants from the same mesivta. NONE of these boys were even granted a farher — including the two TOP learners at this mesivta. All of these are also good, Chassidishe boys! No explanation even offered, other than “too many applicants”. BUT: at least this yeshivah gedolah said, in their emailed rejection letter, that they will be refunding the application fee, which was even more than the $300. you were charged. (Hoping it arrives soon!) As for these boys who didn’t even get the courtesy of a farher: they will… Read more »

this must stop asap!!!
April 25, 2018 12:26 am

this is total nonsense!!! too much money and no product. CH has a great sem. and girls have lot to gain here. the rabonim should aser going out of town, most parents can’t afford it.

It sounds like Yeru....
April 24, 2018 11:56 pm

I know a girl that got rejected and the main reason was that her family would have a hard time paying the 15k in cold cash.

Bais rivka expensive too
April 24, 2018 11:53 pm

If you are not from crown heights bais rivka also costs close to 20,000. And that also means the girls have to arrange shabbos and yom tov meals.

Moishe
April 24, 2018 11:47 pm

It’s time to stop with the whinning about gezah 70%
Of lubavitch is not gezah and the schools take them if they fit

Agree with number 6
April 24, 2018 11:28 pm

Bais rivkah seminary is amazing!! loved it, and so happy that i was there!!!!

Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford and MIT reject about 95% of applicants
April 24, 2018 11:26 pm

And not a single one of them are refunded the application fee. Not only do they often reject every applicant from a single high school, quite often they’ll reject every applicant from a city or even country. When you pay the application fee, you’re paying for them to REVIEW the application. It takes time and they need to pay staff to review the applications. You know the risks. Get over it.

P.S. it seems you’re move bitter she got rejected than you losing the $90

yes
April 24, 2018 11:22 pm

i do not agree with the seminary system at all

To 6 and 31
April 24, 2018 11:19 pm

Yes I agree beis Rivka is an amazing sem… but for ch girls it’s usualy not because part of the seminary experience is to be independent. So i went to school here for almost 4 years now, and it’s about time for me to get out of ch, be independent etc.
but yes BR is a really good seminary learning wise

Read the application
April 24, 2018 11:15 pm

When you apply it clearly says that the registration fee is NON REFUNDABLE whether the girl is accepted or not. It’s your decision to apply there in the first place. I know which school your daughter goes to and they make them believe they will get into any seminary they want. It’s your decision to apply and when you decide to apply to that specific seminary you are agreeing to pay a non refundable application fee.

I agree with 58 and 59
April 24, 2018 11:11 pm

I think that they are probably victims of fraud and should be given a refund. I also wonder how long parents will continue to pay for this year in Israel when there are other cheaper options for going to Israel and if the goal is to attend seminary, there are cheaper options for that as well.

You don't need connections
April 24, 2018 11:09 pm

I was accepted to a top seminary and I have no yichus connections or anything like that there was a yichus gezhe girl that applied at the same time as me and she was rejected and there were many girls like me there from families with no yichus nothing I’m referring to chitrik

summer in israel / year in normal sem
April 24, 2018 11:09 pm

its not the sems fault its the girls /; their parents / and schools for thinking the #! factor in choosing a sem is israel.. many years ago my parents said go to israel in the summer and montreal for sem – bec its a sem that really cares for the girls bruchnius and gashmius so i convinced freinds to join – and we had a great year and my sisters did the same… you can get the israel experince in a summer no need to spend the year there – and there are plenty good sems outside of israel… Read more »

Chutz LaCrown Heights
April 24, 2018 10:52 pm

Don’t even know where to start. App fees are only the tip of the iceberg.Too few Seminaries, too much nepotism, too expensive.
Many times unresponsive Hanhala, unattractive dorms, girls just biding their time to make their parents happy etc etc. I who amoung you remembers the infamous MJI scandal……

S L
April 24, 2018 10:49 pm

There’s a larger issue. Anash has to start realizing that the Chabad machine is very good when it comes to taking care of all Jews, except ‘eigener’ I could write a post on the process of getting my kid accepted to a Zal program. Rough stuff. It’s safe to say it’s not the same Lubavitch it once was. The Rebbbe is not happy.

Just sickening !!
April 24, 2018 10:49 pm

Sickening !! So much agmas nefesh !! The system is Crushing and DESTROYING our girls and boys .. there should be NO such thing as rejection in camp and schools … if you wanna go to camp or sem you should be able to go ! What’s the crime here ?? Aren’t we chabad ? We take everyone !! There’s no bad .. if you have a doubt about a girl or boy . Make the parents sign a contract stating that if any issues come up you will come and take your kid out of camp or sem ..… Read more »

Support Local women yeshivas or open new ones plus college and stop sending kids away
April 24, 2018 10:46 pm

It’s ok not to go to the seminary… if all class was rejected- find local path for young women – u will create local jobs too!!! collaboration with some college will attract more students and to Israel … u can visit it during vacations or as taglit

Seriously?
April 24, 2018 10:42 pm

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but this is the process of many things in life. There are application fees. There are no guarantees. I do not know if your daughter plans on going to college but same idea. Fees, no guarantee. I am bewildered at your question and others agreeing.

Beis rivka
April 24, 2018 10:41 pm

in crown heights is a fine option. this israel mishugas is insane

To 41
April 24, 2018 10:31 pm

What about those girls that have spend their entire lives in beis Rivka?? It’s time for a change. And where else to go but Eretz Yisroel?

Its expensive...
April 24, 2018 10:31 pm

Buut mesivta is the same price for FOUR YEARS EACH. So lets stop blaming seminaries. PERIOD

THANK YOU
April 24, 2018 10:24 pm

FOR FINALLY EXPOSING THE TRUTH
UNFORTUNATELY I DOUBT IT WILL HELP

Give up on the Eretz Yisroel fad
April 24, 2018 10:23 pm

I agree with the comments above regarding Bais Rivkah Seminary in Crown Heights. My daughter had a wonderful experience there – for two years. She got a real Chassidishe Chinuch, in learning and Hashpoah, and had a great time socially as well.
Parents need to get over this obsession with seminaries in EY. Seminary can be a very meaningful experience for a girl if she goes to the right place. Or it can be a year of fun to the tune of $20k. Let’s start getting real and looking for quality, not externals.

To #50
April 24, 2018 10:23 pm

Thank you, but you need to get the bochurim’s parents on board with this. They are the ones who prescreen the shidduch profiles.

Why refund?
April 24, 2018 10:20 pm

The selection committee takes hours of time plus flights meals and accommodations in order to review the applications, they are away from their families and need to be compensated for their time. This is the one opportunity that they have for a proper break and mini vacation, isreali families cannot afford these luxuries, is it too much to ask the American applicants who are all well off and of much better means to spare $90 so that our mechanchos can be treated properly? What is the $90 to you? One less double park ticket? The families of the seminary teachers… Read more »

Ba'al Teshuva here
April 24, 2018 10:18 pm

So I currently work in one of these “seminaries” (I’ll explain the quotes soon) and they are garbage. All of these seminaries are MONEY HUNGRY. Do you know what that means? They couldn’t care less about your daughters, their education, etc. they care about whether you’re paying. Now let me tell you something else. Send your daughters to college. Do yourselves and your daughters a favor. The seminaries don’t teach them anything useful or practical for life except how to be a good wife. What if your daughters falls in love with someone who doesn’t come from a rich home… Read more »

Positive experience
April 24, 2018 10:17 pm

My daughter is in seminary this year. Bh she has been on a high, is learning and gaining a lot! I had heard a lot of bad reports about the admin and attitude , but she is very happy and loves it. At least I don’t feel like i wasted my money! I feel sorry for those who didn’t get in and I agree that we need more seminaries so that everyone can have the opportunity to go. I also would love to see the price come down to a more affordable number, so we don’t sponsor the Israelis.

La yeshiva
April 24, 2018 10:16 pm

In LA the yeshiva has a fee to apply. If you get rejected, you get your money back. If you get accepted, you have 24 hours to accept. If accepted, that money goes towards to tuition. Of you don’t awnser after 24 hours of being accepted you forfeit the money. Plain and simple.

Overated!
April 24, 2018 10:05 pm

Seminary is overated! It’s a glorified extra year of high school that bleeds parents dry of $20,000! What did Girls do many years ago before Seminary? You think girls in Nevel and Tashkent had poorer aspects of marriage because they didn’t go to Seminary. They turned out to be fine women who built Yiddishe homes and raised beautiful families. My niece did not go to Seminary. She chose to go to work and enjoys it very much. She makes sure to keep up with Shiurim and helps out in her local community…And for less than a quarter of the price… Read more »

Expand your horizons
April 24, 2018 10:05 pm

If there aren’t enough seats for all applicants in Chabad the girls can go to a fine non Chabad seminary. It may not be exactly what they wanted but what they wanted wasn’t available to them through no fault of their own. Your only young once. Why should the girls miss the opportunity to live in Israel.

Not exclusive Chabad issue
April 24, 2018 10:04 pm

The seminary crisis has been around for too long, totally not a new issue, and thankfully, many seminaries are as item as ever (unfortunately the standard of our girls had fine down so they can’t be as choosy if they want to have a certain amount of Students). In any case, the issue isn’t unique to Chabad sems, visit any Litvishe HS, the sem saga is a nightmare, with parents and students visiting the sems etc.

supply and demand we need more seminaries
April 24, 2018 10:01 pm

what I don’t understand is why are no new seminaries opening up I know there was Bina in Israel there was one in LA,Cape Town ,Sydney and others that shut down there needs to be more seminaries to keep up with the growth just like girls overnight camps sell out in a few hours the demand is greater then the supply

From the author
April 24, 2018 9:55 pm

#49. Is it ok to mislead and to steal? You are advocating that it is ok to steal from innocent families that got caught up in this mess. What right does a seminary have to accept money on false pretenses? There have been issues between the school and the seminary, so yes, be honest and say, this year we are taking a break from ABC high School, don’t bother applying. Instead they took the money, interviewed the girls and rejected all of them. Nobody won here and the girls lost out because of silliness. Nepotism is ugly and sad. I… Read more »

Missing the point
April 24, 2018 9:49 pm

I think people are missing a very important point. Yes, maybe the girls that were rejected should get a refund. But the bigger issue is that seminaries are rejecting all the girls from one school! As the author put it “I find it shameful and extremely disappointing that an institution would deny a potential shlucha, future educator or simply a Lubavitch mother the opportunity to spend a year in Eretz Yisroel, solely because on the school and not individual merits.” IT IS NOT OK THAT THE SEMINARIES HAVE CERTAIN FEELINGS TOWARDS A SCHOOL, AND AS A RESULT DON’T ACCEPT ALL… Read more »

Din V'cheshban
April 24, 2018 9:48 pm

Those who run these shams will have to give a din v’cheshban…..

2 sides to every story
April 24, 2018 9:46 pm

Some complaints r valid but most r not. I have seen girls get into the “top seminaries, with no gezah, relatives or married into the right family. I have seen girls with all 3 criteria rejected. If there is no application fee the girls have said I’ll apply to all the seminaries. If it’s true and you spoke to the seminaryhead who agrees and says I Do not accepted on this high school then you r right, but I have heard tons of rumors over the years. It is so easy to criticize, bash the seminaries but how many of… Read more »

Fellow Victim!
April 24, 2018 9:42 pm

It’s not only in Israel. We were given the boot by the same namesake in Europe. I understand the application fee, but don’t interview 150 girls to accept only 40. The interview process where they make your daughter feel like a reject because she doesn’t live in Crown Heights and accuses her of not being frum! If they are so “holy” why was the interview by a woman and a man in a room where the door was shut? That’s what my daughter wanted to know! Furthermore, I have been hearing a lot of stories about alcohol and drugs in… Read more »

The system needs updating
April 24, 2018 9:41 pm

Leaders of Lubavitch who are being lazy (because they think things are different after gimmel tammuz and that the Rebbe doesn’t know they’re not being active), open your eyes and fix the issues with the system. If you think this is bad, Lubavitch Mesivtas are even worst.

These people may be rotten or just blinded by money.
April 24, 2018 9:26 pm

BUT THE ISSUE DOESN’T HAVE TO EXIST.
Your daughter doesn’t HAVE to do sem in Israel.
She can do sem, learn and be very productive anywhere.

Also, she doesnt have to do sem.

Alright
April 24, 2018 9:24 pm

I think it’s time we remind ourselves what seminary is. Seminary is another year of high school. Just as in high school, every person has a different experience, hence the mixed feedback and claims of it being overrated. As in every school, seminary comes along with an interview. Some schools charge for their interviews. Seminary does. As in every school, there are tuition fees to pay. Seminary surprises one too many by being four times the price of the tuition we usually pay (or double if some of it is covered by grants). I don’t know that “connections” are all… Read more »

Thousands of dollars
April 24, 2018 9:23 pm

The $17000 that we have to pay for seminary ….What a shame on Yiddisher money.

A bochur in shidduchim. .
April 24, 2018 9:23 pm

I’m a bochur. A good one too. Not interested in writing my name but i just want to say that I really am not at all looking for a girl who went to seminary. At all. She went? Okay, so? I’ll meet her. She didn’t go? Okay, so I’ll meet her… I’m NOT the only guy like this. So JUST IN CASE any part of this issue has to do with the fact that parents of girls (or girls themselves) think they will only find a good guy if she goes to a good seminary, I’m doing what i can… Read more »

honestly?
April 24, 2018 9:18 pm

this letter is bring up two separate issues. 1)one is that no girls from her daughters school were accepted which leads her to belive that it was a blanket policy and in no way an indication of the individual girl. by proxy she also believes that the seminary set out with this intention to begin with and it was therefore deceitful to grant interview (ie take money) when they had full intention of not accepting any girl. being that your daughter is not in beis rivkah because there are no seminaries that rejected every single bais rivkah girl, it is… Read more »

G d help us.
April 24, 2018 9:14 pm

I write this from my heart.

We have got alot of communal (chabad community) issues to solve and once certain people (leaders of any sort) solve their own PERSONAL issues (get real with life and begin to care about G d) they can solve the communal issues affecting so many.

2 points
April 24, 2018 9:00 pm

1 ya it’s totally wrong to accept an application fee if you never considered accepting the applicant apparently this high school was disqualified from even being considered it’s like accepting application fees from any country if you only accept students from a specific one 2 the second problem is the whole yichus thing it’s really sleezy but really a different point that’s more speculation I’m not gesh or anything and I got into brunoy but I absolutely agree that faculty don’t always judge people based on merit The most disgusting part of all this is when it comes to ball… Read more »

The same with Yeshivah
April 24, 2018 8:59 pm

The same with Yeshivah. A yeshivah took $300 to apply and wasn’t planning on taking from our sons yeshivah!!! They answered that they have a large group from another YESHIVA and weren’t considering taking anyone else! How is that allowed???

To #35
April 24, 2018 8:43 pm

Speak for urself, no one wants to live in a dump, especially when they are paying so much!

Huge scam
April 24, 2018 8:42 pm

Secular parents pay for college. It’s an investment in their child’s future. They come out with a degree that enables them to earn a living as an adult.
I went to the sem referenced above more than 15 years ago. I feel so bad now. My parents, Shluchim with a large family, paid more than $10 k plus airfare and spending $ and everything. I understand it’s more than double now. I learned a bit and had some fun but it wasn’t really much more than another year of high school, just many times the price. No degree.

Seminary... Sigh
April 24, 2018 8:41 pm

I gained tremendously from seminary and I over a decade later I am so thankful for the experiences I had. There are wonderful options outside Israel led by genuine, caring mechanchim. I loved Florida seminary but there is also Montreal, Italy and Melbourne.
Sorry you had to go through this unpleasantness. I hope your daughter has a positive year regardless of where she goes.

It’s so wrong!!!!!
April 24, 2018 8:41 pm

The whole system is wrong and toxic for the girls. It’s not fair and it’s really hurtful. Add to the mix the loss of money and it really stinks. To all those who say it’s justified to charge so much for interviews plus application fees, you are missing out on basic math skills. Really?!?! They are making enough money from the girls they are accepting. If they want only serious applicants, $50 should be more than enough

better place
April 24, 2018 8:36 pm

why parents choose to send their daughters to EY? there is an amazing seminary who was created by the fridieker Rebbe it’s called BEIS RIVKA and its located in France -yerres’ their staf are amazing people whith love for each girl who wants to learn and an entire compassion for the parents money . teachers are amazing and do their best to make grow your daughter ready to be a shlucha,teacher,excellent mother and a perfect spouse.they work with middos tovos and they take the tasks like the Rebbe asked them. the conditions are amazing,clean healthy food and environement,amazing atmosphere. you… Read more »

Laughing all the way to the bank
April 24, 2018 8:26 pm

Chitrik is notorious for taking the application fee; others seems to follow. Time to boycott them. Other sems demand you list 2 options but if chitrik isn’t your first choice, they will only look at your money.
Unfortunately too many girls graduate so sems are in the drivers seat.
All they need is 100 applications and it pays for their tickets and other personal expenses.

The Six Month Program
April 24, 2018 8:18 pm

The Crown Heights seminary should implement the program in BP that the girls do 6 months in Israel and finish the rest in New York. Make an affordable price with Masa, Tap and Pell and 1 ticket to Israel.

Listen
April 24, 2018 8:15 pm

The unfortunate truth is, this is the way lubavitch works. EVERYTHING requires connections. Chabad houses need something from the government? connections. Need to pay for something? connections. Need to get your daughter into school? connections. Dorms? connections. Seminary? Connections. Shidduchim? connections. the list goes on. But from the flip side if you were running a seminary, and your niece as well as some random girl applied who would you take faster? You can’t say straight out that you’re taking your niece, that’s called nepotism, so you make it look as if you’re actually looking into both of them, and then… Read more »

Ch mom #2
April 24, 2018 8:15 pm

To #9 the girls from the high school that Rosenfeld Seminary does not accept are not shallow at all… They’re just great chassidishe girls that have a lot to offer but because of their ego they won’t take them…. Without specifying any reasons…. But they will take their application money and interview money…

to #8
April 24, 2018 8:15 pm

dont worry,they dont fly specially to interviewed girls who apply for their seminary.usually they fly for shluchos international convention and they take this opportunity to make some money. just because they spent minimum 15 minutes to ask few questions to the girls or, sometime just to see how she looks like dressed ….
like you well sais ”Hachem cares about money of Yisroel will sould too”
they should study the girls application before to give them the feeling to be accepted and charge fee for nothing.
Hatslocho and reminder that HACHEM is the boreh haolam each second

To #24
April 24, 2018 8:11 pm

Yes youre talking about chitrik… They didnt pay for their house so no complaints can go against that.
And i personally would rather those apartments than a new fancy dorm building. Believe i speak for a lot of people

Money making business
April 24, 2018 8:10 pm

The seminary system is so messed up! They only accept those with connections, money etc. Just because someone’s rejected means nothing. Just not related to any of the staff in the seminary, and the rejected girls are unfortunately the better girls who now feel horrible about themselves! Waste of time and money to run after these “top seminars ” which are not even top and treat the girls like numbers. The best is go to a seminary where ur your own person and treated well. These top seminaries are such a money making business. Wish we would stop giving in… Read more »

Gorol
April 24, 2018 8:09 pm

I think all semenaries should make a gorol for all serious applicants. And that would be fair and square.

Do not agree
April 24, 2018 8:08 pm

While I may understand your frustration, every institution has an application fee. Are the seminaries supposed to sit there for hours and not recieve a penny for it? That makes NO sense. Your list is actually not true in the qualifications that you wrote down for acceptance. Plenty of random people who have no getsh get accepted, and yes the seminaries sometimes do not even accept their relatives. While I agree that the seminaries are a fortune, I also believe that the seminary hanhala has a huge responsibilty in all aspects, and very little of the money ends up in… Read more »

Agree with number 6
April 24, 2018 8:07 pm

Beis Rivkah Seminary in Crown Heights is a fantastic school!
It prepares girls for real life, not la la land.
It is run according to the guidelines and guidance set forth by the Rebbe.
It is a real jewel in the crown of Lubavitch.
Don’t overlook a treasure that is “right under your nose”, so to speak.
May we all be zoche to chasidishe nachas from our girls, as they prepare to become the mothers of tomorrow.
Hatzlacha rabbah to all!

Ch mom
April 24, 2018 8:07 pm

The application fee is איין זאך but what about the interview fee in CASH, to interview our girls KNOWING GOOD AND WELL that they’re not taking them from their HS.
Thats called ג’נבה outright and they should refund us the money.

To Number 24
April 24, 2018 8:07 pm

Watch what you say. You don’t know where someone’s money goes or comes from!!!

As for gezhe and connections: I had neither and BH got into seminary. Unfortunately they can’t accept everyone who applies it just wouldn’t be possible… As for money. I don’t know but that’s how it works when you apply anywhere it’s not exclusive to seminary, it’s a real world thing as well.

From the author
April 24, 2018 8:03 pm

#11, you obviously did not read the article.

There are 3 seminaries in Eretz Yisroel. One in particular, accepted the money from parents at the time they had no intention of accepting the girls from a specific high school. That should be considered stealing.

Mrs. Rosenfeld
April 24, 2018 8:01 pm

If a girl applies to a seminary with the right intentions she should be given a chance. If Mrs rosenfeld decides not to look at an application because of a specific school, a “bad” group of friends it’s her loss. Hashem is the one who runs the world and at the end of the day everyone gets what they deserve.

Crazy system unfortunately
April 24, 2018 7:59 pm

So so so true!!
Been there done that! Went thru it myself and saw many hurt.

Agree!
April 24, 2018 7:56 pm

It’s time to speak up!

True points
April 24, 2018 7:48 pm

The author is right about charging for applications. Granted the interviewer has expenses, but this is wayyyy overdone. $90 times 500 applications- that’s a lot of money that’s not even going towards the school. The living conditions in the seminary are horrible while the owner lives in a luxurious house. Time for some changes

SEMINARY
April 24, 2018 7:44 pm

The biggest rip off in history! We send our girls to school for 14 years. Whatever they need to learn should be done during that time. Its a private money making enterprise that puts a terrible strain on the gullible American parents. Why should parents pay tens of thousands of dollars for a year of vacation?!

A Concerned Father from the UK
April 24, 2018 7:43 pm

My eldest daughter has now spent 2 years in a high school in North America. The School was amazing place and she grew and flourished in every way possible. When it came to fees and tuition the particular High School was very accommodating and understanding of my financial situation, especially since she is not my only daughter. B”H we have a large family with several daughters. They were really amazing and I have only praise and Thanks to the Hanholo and the Moisad involved. Now B”H she is graduating and must go to Seminary, as with many other Lubavitch girls,… Read more »

#13- You are absurd
April 24, 2018 7:34 pm

You’re probably a ridiculous Seminary educator as well, You are simply absurd, and your arguments run dry. The Seminary system is majorly flawed and it’s time for a change

Not the seminaries i know
April 24, 2018 7:29 pm

my sister and i both got into different seminaries in israel,
according to your list we would never have gotten accepted
we have
a.no relatives
b. definitely not gezhe
c. referring to a., have not married into any families.
any educational instititution that reviews applications has an application fee, thats just the way it works.
i’m sorry it didn’t work out for your daughter.
but the criteria that your citing is just not accurate

To #8
April 24, 2018 7:20 pm

The paper? Really?
And they usually fly in for chuf beis shvat anyway

Agree
April 24, 2018 7:16 pm

All rejected girls should get their money back so they can use it for another seminary.
And now there’s a new thing where the seminary charges to send your transcript to your college. I paid almost 20K for seminary, the credits are RIGHTFULLY mine.

100% agree
April 24, 2018 7:14 pm

These seminarys are mamesh stealing money right and left

REVEAL THE SEMINARY NAME
April 24, 2018 7:10 pm

HEY- THIS MEANS NOTHING. REVEAL THE NAME OF THE SEMINARY. YOU WRITE AN ANONYMOUS LETTER WITHOUT MENTIONING A SEMINARY. ALL SOUNDS FISHY. COLLEGES HAVE APPLICATION FEES as WELL.

100000000000000 percent true
April 24, 2018 7:06 pm

Couldnt have written in a better way

Seminary
April 24, 2018 7:03 pm

Is so overrated. Save the money that you don’t have and don’t worry- she’ll get married to the right person 🙂

Sorry
April 24, 2018 7:03 pm

But this is absurd. Life is frustrating and it’s never fair, but if they took the time to interview your daughter you can’t really complain. Even if you think they never intended to accept her anyway. You can be upset, but it is incredibly immature to think that they owe you anything. Nobody forced you to apply. I agree that it is unfair and that it’s disgusting that people are like this, and moreover that it is pathetic that people run moidois like this and think that they’re fooling everyone when everybody sees right through it. But sometimes you just… Read more »

100%
April 24, 2018 7:02 pm

Totally agree with you.
They should refund the parents!

I'm sorry
April 24, 2018 7:00 pm

I’m sorry that your daughter was rejected I may add that it is completely in order for a seminary to do such a thing though maybe not so kind. It’s their time and their energy to look into a student. Even if they having accepted anyone as of yet from this school, it doesn’t come to say that they don’t look into the girls. I may also add that if you want a refund it would best be for you to contact the seminary directly. Collive is a great place to vent and bring some attention to an issue, but… Read more »

Agree
April 24, 2018 6:58 pm

It s a shame that is true and going on all the time

Rosenfeld
April 24, 2018 6:56 pm

I know that Rosenfeld’s seminary accepts applications from a crown heights school, but doesn’t accept their girls. Last I heard, its because all of their girls are shallow or something like that.

Application Fees
April 24, 2018 6:55 pm

I do agree with the idea of application fees. The cost of flying the interviewer to Crown Heights, renting the location, the paper used for the forms, plus more, adds up. Not to mention how time consuming the process is. Most importantly, only serious applicants are applying. What changes everything is that the seminaries are sometimes lacking in the application process. When you categorically reject an entire school for whatever reason, or reject someone because you don’t want too many girls from that moised, and not because of who they are as a person, then it becomes theft. And then… Read more »

Chitrik at it's best
April 24, 2018 6:53 pm

That’s just the way things work for that seminary, as the heads of the seminary are rolling in cash, they simply forgot about bieng a fellow human/lubavicher. The saddest part about it is that every year we fall for it again.

Time to stop this fad!
April 24, 2018 6:50 pm

Bais Rivkah Seminary in the Rebbe’s Schunah is a wonderful seminary educating fine young ladies who are bright and mature and not expecting their parents to dish out 20K plus!
If parents would stop supporting this notion that their daughters must attend seminary in Eretz Yisrael, where they will surely galavant around unattended, the seminaries would get the message loud and clear
. It is distasteful and hurtful for any precious young Bas Chabad to feel like she was rejected!!

Sad truth
April 24, 2018 6:46 pm

My daughter had the same experience…but they also asked her to fly in to NY from out of town for the interview where they told her they don’t take girls from her school!
Time for someone to open a new Seminary

Agree
April 24, 2018 6:42 pm

The whole seminary system in Chabad needs a MAJOR update.
It’s insane that we have so few options of seminaries for a crazy large amount of Chabad girls worldwide. All the prejudice aside, the seminaries physically cannot accept them all. Yes it won’t solve the pain or anger of being rejected from your first choice, but can there at least be more seminaries offering the same experience you can get at one of the 3 (literally. 3) in Israel?

Agree
April 24, 2018 6:39 pm

Well said.

YES!!
April 24, 2018 6:35 pm

You should get all the parents of the girls in your daughters class together to speak with the dean about it!!

Con Artists
April 24, 2018 6:28 pm

The people that run seminaries in Israel are snobby, hurtful, and profit off the weakness of young innocent girls wanting to go and learn in Israel with all their friends. They do not live by example, and just take every dollar they can get out of the loving parents that just want their kids to have their wish. Luckily its not russia where its a passport thats needed to save someones life, its just a seminary, and hopefully soon these disgusting “educators” will be put out of business. I am certain I speak for most of lubavitch here of my… Read more »

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