Mar 10, 2015
Why Is The Pain So Deep?

From the COLlive inbox: A Crown Heights mother writes about seeing Nadiv Kehaty OBM daily when he brought his children to school.

By Sheva Tauby

We saw each other each morning on our walk to Oholei Torah daily for 2 years. Our sons were in the same class. He always greeted us with a happy ďGood Morning.Ē

Why is the pain so deep? Why couldnít I sleep last night? I donít think I ever exchanged more than a few words with him.

I think I know why. Nadiv was a genuine person. He was full of a zest for life that you felt when you passed him by on the street. His smile was full of warmth and enthusiasm, the kind that you wonder if its real. Why may you wonder? Because most people aren't that warm and genuine, so when you see it you cant believe it.

He was so devoted to his children. He would walk them to school with such pride every day. He greeted my son who was in his sonís class everyday in his usual caring tone. It was real. You felt his care in his mundane actions and words.

I think this is why the pain is so deep. Because he was so genuine. He was sincerely happy for the next person. This is a trait that is so rare that we cherish it when we see it. Itís ahavas yisroel in its purest form.

As I start my new day today I continue to think about this special soul. Itís like we donít want to let go of something so beautiful. What comforts me a bit, is to think about what a powerful lesson he taught us all by being himself. People connect to what is genuine. People need realness. Thank you for being you. I will continue to teach my kids the importance of being true to themselves and others.

Make a difference in the life of Nadiv's family. Click here to donate.


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Opinions and Comments
1
Thank you
This is beautiful. May we all aspire to this genuine quality. Surely it is a gift that his children will carry forth in his path.
May his memory be for Blessing.
(3/10/2015 2:20:59 PM)
2
The pain is deep for all of us
Even those of us who didn't know the niftar.

Every time we lose a young person in our community, of course we grieve for the families and young children left behind. But we also grieve for the loss of potential, the loss of people who made and continue to make an impact on the community.
And that's why the only way to really relieve our grief is to commit ourselves to continue the life work of these wonderful people who left us in the prime of their lives. Not to let their children grow up alone and neglected. Although we can never replace what was lost we can ensure that they will grow up surrounded by the care and love of an entire community.
And not just to remember them for a week or a month and then go on with life until the next big story happens (lo aleinu) but to remember them 2 years and 5 years down the line too. To see how they're doing, to help in whatever way we can.
(3/10/2015 2:25:26 PM)
3
thoughts
it just brings to mind how fragile life is, we don't know HaShem's ways or plans. We have to remember to be kind to each other, considerate, and try to run our life in the ways of Torah and Mitzvos. May H' grant Nechama to the family.
(3/10/2015 2:56:43 PM)
4
Curios
What's there number ?

Because in Bnos Menachem High School
We have this thing that once a week we have to do Chesed for 1hour so I was thinking about all what happened this past week all the lives that where taken from us and I desided to make a difference to help those people out there that lost someone especially those four kids who just lost their father I want to be at least once a week and help out .
So whoever sees this message should take something appon themselves to help the people that need there help so please if you know there number post it
Iyh I'll call them after the shiva to help out

And the main thing Moshiach should come right now
(3/10/2015 3:30:44 PM)
5
Shoshana Silver
Thx so much for sharing. My son was married a year and a half ago in New Orleans and the Kahaty family attended. I remember how he introduced himself to me in a local supermarket before the wedding and the his level of genuine happiness a being able to attend. As you said his level of true Ahavas Yisroel was indeed real and one we should all emulate
(3/10/2015 3:36:07 PM)
6
Meir
BS"D
great thing to try to emulate
(3/10/2015 4:44:50 PM)
7
Bringing our thoughts into Action
Your Comment:
Just read the above
Very touching!

This is something we all can improve on in
Nadav"s memory-

Take a moment of each and every day to " be there in the moment " with a family member or just any random person be it a neighbor , friend and even someone you don"t really know
Show that person you truly care , be real and truly in the moment by connecting with that person. All it really takes is just a smile, kind word or gesture
Let"s do this together

K"ish echad ubelaiv echod"
And bring about the Geula Shlaima Now!!!!!
(3/10/2015 4:51:19 PM)
8
Chanie
I didn't know Nadiv personally, I actually don't know how I know him but I knew his face so I must have met him somewhere. I really believe he wouldn't want us to be depressed and down, but he'd want us to do positive things and genuinely feel positive.
Let's take a lesson from Nadiv and cherish the special people in your lives. When you see someone in the street, genuinely ask how they're doing, instead of walking away. Put your phone down and talk to your spouse, children, parents- anyone. Let them know they are the most important thing in your life, you cherish them, adore them and feel blessed to have such special people to love. Smile at your kids, giggle, hold their hands when you walk with them down the street, hold them tight each night.
Life is too short to get involved in trivial things.
We want Moshiach now!
(3/10/2015 5:49:37 PM)
9
Beautiful words
Yes, it's so important commit in some way to continue the life's work of those precious departed souls. Whether it's "being in the moment" or whatever it is we can find in our hearts to do to keep them alive, to make the world a better place. Someone passed away not long ago who was not the most popular person on the block. Someone who carried a very big pekel. A million people did not come out for the levaya or shiva. But I knew that this person did mivtzoyim, always taking literature wherever they went. It's not the easiest for me to do, but I try in my little way to fill those shoes, making the extra effort to take literature to leave in this store, in that doctor's office. If each one of us takes on a hachlata for Nadiv, for any other person who has touched our lives, imagine what we can accomplish... Moshiach now.
My heartfelt condolences to the Kehaty family. Nadiv stands out as an extraordinary neshama. Only simchas from now on.
(3/10/2015 6:15:49 PM)
10
Special person
Nadiv stayed at my house when i was little, and i rememeber he was so kind to me. Very special person!
(3/10/2015 8:11:40 PM)
11
Smile in memory of nadiv
I have plans to make a campaign
With big advertising
"Smile to a stranger in memory on nadiv"

This warmth and smile is realy what u need
To be a true chosid the rest is all
Secondary
(3/10/2015 8:49:03 PM)
12
me too!
I'm not someone who posts my feelings on the web, but I also couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't stop thinking about nadiv and his family! May the Aibershter bentch them with strength.

I donated to the family fund, nadiv mean to donate....
(3/10/2015 9:10:52 PM)
13
to curious #4- family's number
you have a very nice thought of helping the family/little children out after shiva as part of your chesed from bnos menachem. instead of posting their number here in a public forum, please email info@chabadneworleans.com and the shluchim in new orleans where he is originally from will give you the phone numbers etc that you need. may we always help each other for simchas!!
(3/11/2015 2:05:28 AM)
14
#3 
Very well said! Instead of walking in the street on ur cell..........Why don't we greet the person we meet with a smile???
(3/11/2015 2:09:16 PM)
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