This article is published as a service by the Youth Action Movement (YAM) in Crown Heights in cooperation with COLlive’s Bettering a Community project. YAM provides support, guidance, and enrichment to Crown Heights’ youth and young adults. Reach them at [email protected] or call 1-718-771-9000 (ext 7749).
The holiday of Purim is rapidly approaching. It is a time of great joy in our neighborhood and Jewish communities worldwide. We feel united as we celebrate the day to its fullest.
It is hard to find fault in anything related to Purim.
Who does not go a bit overboard? Whether it is schlepping all over the neighborhood giving shalach monos, having a huge Purim seuda with lots of guests, or doing outreach or chesed, everyone goes all out.
Drinking alcohol also plays a pretty major role on Purim. We would like to tell ourselves we are doing it to observe the mitzvah, but is this really an honest assessment?
We all know that it can be pretty fun to drink. We feel like the life of the party. It is a good feeling to have everyone laugh at your jokes or hang on all of your interesting ideas. Some of the pressures of life seem distant. Unfortunately, there is a line that we often cross when we drink. How can we really tell whether we have crossed that line and are drinking responsibly?
The simplest guidance is to know yourself and your limits and ask some real questions. There may be a few good indicators to help with this self-analysis:
1. Do I rely on alcohol to be social, have a good time, open up?
2. How do friends or family feel about my alcohol consumption?
3. Do I constantly push alcohol on others so they will join the “party”?
4. Are the times that I drink set in stone, like every Shabbos or every family gathering?
5. Do I look forward to drinking or feel like I am missing something without drinking?
6. Have I ever blacked out or completely lost control of myself from drinking?
Alcohol is not prohibited to adults and can have many positive aspects. Some studies suggest a link between longevity and moderate alcohol consumption, such as a glass of wine a day or an ounce of hard alcohol a day. Wine is said to aid digestion. Many people feel that a little alcohol relaxes them and helps them be a better person, chossid, etc. Yet, there are also very real and serious issues with heavy alcohol use in both the immediate and long term.
WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR
Some of the immediate effects are obvious. One can be prone to various accidents, fights, other risky and dangerous behavior, drunk driving/accidents, domestic violence, and alcohol poisoning which can be fatal. Many of the short term effects are seen more in teenagers and young adults who are more impulsive and emotional. Unfortunately, we have all seen examples of these.
? Negative long term effects of habitual and heavy drinking include:
? Strokes, heart problems, hypertension, breathing problems, and dementia.
? Psychiatric problems, including depression, anxiety, and suicide.
? Family problems, social problems, lack of productivity/job loss.
? Cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, liver, colon, and breast.
? Liver diseases, including alcoholic hepatitis and cirrhosis, which is among the 15 leading causes of all deaths in the United States.
? Other stomach problems, including pancreatitis and gastritis.
There is a wide continuum of alcohol use in our community. Some people drink in moderation or rarely and have issues with alcohol. Others haven’t escaped so lucky. People should look both within and without to judge whether they might have a problem.
Friends and family should be aware of loved ones that may need some sobering up and should encourage them to seek help. We are all aware of those that drink excessively, however we might not be ready to engage them or just are unsure of how to go about it. Whatever the case may be, as a community we need vigilance in the area of adult alcohol use.
WHAT YOUNG PEOPLE SEE
Even more important than our own approach to alcohol is the message that we pass on to children and young adults. We have to take into consideration the impression we leave on young people when we drink heavily. What do they see?
In the best case scenario, they see men sitting together, singing, and discussing important matters passionately. They may see us joking around or having a good time. In the worst cases, they see men cursing, screaming, acting inappropriately, and sometimes fighting.
Although the positive scenarios are perhaps more frequent, the negative ones stand out.
Younger children especially remember when that guy threw up in shul or was screaming like a maniac. Teenagers remember the drinking more than the ideas that were shared. More often than not, a “L’Chaim, Kiddush, Sholom Zocher, or family gathering is merely an opportunity to get alcohol rather than an occasion to be uplifted. They may try to couch their drinking in adult reasoning, like they are celebrating or getting inspired just like the adults, but often, they are just getting drunk.
As mentioned earlier, they tend to go more overboard, and the results of going overboard can often have negative consequences. Ask the Hatzolah members who run a hospital shuttle on Simchas Torah and Purim. Most of their passengers are underage drinkers or young adults.
A REAL PURIM JOY
Young people are impressionable and are seeking direction. As adults we can serve as role models, showing young people an inspiring and meaningful life. Our good deeds and commitment to our tradition despite hardships have the strongest effect on our young people.
Let’s have the backbone to transmit a joyous and substantive message to our youth. Be a leader and have the confidence to make the “simcha” the focus of any gathering and not the bottles of alcohol decorating it.
This Purim, let’s make a commitment that our happiness won’t be dependent on what or how much we drink. A truly happy Purim to all!
This article is inspired by the pamphlet “Mashkeh”, put out many years ago by the NCFJE’s Operation Survival. For a copy, please contact the Youth Action Movement office at (718) 771-9000 ext. 7749.
why cant you just post what the rebbe said about more than four, and stop blabbering your nonesense.
misnaged
I’m pretty sure this article isn’t telling us not to drink and have a good time on Purim, it’s a reminder to know your limit and STOP when you’re there!! Like it or not, there is a real problem in the frum communities with excessive drinking on Purim (and other times)… every year there are people rushed to the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I’m pretty sure Torah did not intend for a person to harm himself, humiliate his family, or affect his shalom bayis by drinking like a crazy person on Purim!!! I’d like to know how many of you… Read more »
Nice warning but as humans we learn through experience. As long as you are not drinking to overcome an emotional feeling than you are not at risk of becoming an alacoholic. Know WHY you are drinking, than drink. Pay attentiont o yourself.
Number 1 is a bored teenager.
People need to be aware of the dangers of drinking too much.
Happy purim!
I dont hear this article saying either that should one be happy on purim or that One shouldn’t drink on Purim.
All this article is doing is highlighting the risks involved in drinking, which is something all people should have in mind whne drinking and when giving others to drink.
On the othe rhand I dod feel that these articles (at least in the chabad community) have less to do with Purim and more to do with our attitude to drinking the rest of the year.
Enough said.
Purim without mashke FEH…..
Drink it up chabibi!
Tantz tantz tantz chabibi!
Lchaim!
I think we just might need another 34 articals telling us not to have a good time on purim before we get the point (sarcasm) . We are definitly not going to be sober this purim, and of story bro. Sorry. But thanks anyway partner, your efforts are appreciated 😉
thank you for an important article
You have my vote. Let’s consider: 1. Do I rely on alcohol to be social, have a good time, open up? – YES. I am a high profile individual. On Purim I need to be the life of the party because that is what is expected of me. I attend no less than 5 different parties and when I walk in people expect to be entertained and inspired. I cannot do it wiout the l’chaims! 2. How do friends or family feel about my alcohol consumption? – My wife is never too happy about it, mostly for my own health’s… Read more »
We get it!!!
i think u’d better get ur head on stragiht.
this article is meant to be helpful. it is not telling u not to drink, just trying to fix an obviously existing major problem in our community.
Its about about people take this issue serious, its been ruining lives for as long as its been available, and the youth need to be made aware of this, and it starts with adults showing responsibility, by not consuming too much, in russia they celebrated with mashke and herring , in the us it can be with sushi and perrier, and the net outcome will most probably be the same, lchaim!
Ya dribble all the space-filler words, but miss the basket for the shot. It’s Purim. Do you think YOU are able to make the day exceptionally happy for the impressionable folks by uhm, reading the megilla and making noise by haman’s name? By giving some arts and craftsy basket? Oh. and I think halacha speaks of gettig so drunk you don’t know the difference between good and bad. And chassidus says that no bad can come from a Jew drinking on Purim becuase ofthe revelation of inherent good in a Jew’s physical body. Yup, you can try to spin out… Read more »