A recent Whatsapp message that has been passed around carried a deep and profound message from the Rebbe to a girl who was feeling hopeless in her growing years as she struggled to find a suitable shidduch:
במענה למכתבה הקודם – ע”ד מצבה ומצב רוחה וכו’ –
בתמהון גדול קראתיו – כשתשים לב לפיה”מ [לפירוש המילות] בפשטות דח”י ברכות השחר, שמברכת את השם בכל יום בתחלתו-
תראה שנתברכה, בלי עה”ר [=עין הרע] בכולן, ונוסף ע”ז [על זה] בבריאות כדבעי, הורים טובים, חנוך טוב, סביבה טובה, מקצוע טוב ופרנסה ועוד
ועפ”ז היכן ההצדקה לההתלוננות וכו’?!
הענין היחידי שדורש תיקון – שעדיין לא נישאת
שהסיבה האמיתית לזה – שכשמציעין שידוך מחפשת אמתלא ותואנה להשתמט מזה
וכשתשנה זה – ג”ז [גם זה] יבוא על תיקונו.
אזכיר עה”צ
In response to your previous letter – about your situation and your mood and so on –
I read it with great shock – If you pay attention to the simple meaning of the 18 morning brachos, in which you bless Hashem at the beginning of every day –
You will see that you have been blessed, bli ayin hara, with all of them. In addition, you have been blessed with good health, good parents, good education, a good community, a good profession and livelihood, and more.
If so, what is the justification for your complaints and so on?!
The only thing that needs to be fixed – is that you are not married yet.
And the true cause for that is – that when you are offered a shidduch you look for excuses to get out of it.
When you change this [attitude], this matter too will come to its resolution.
I will mention you at the tziyon.
The message was sent out by the A Chassidisher Derher, publishers of the popular monthly Derher magazine, enjoyed by thousands of subscribers across the Chabad world.
“When we moved into our new home,” one happy subscriber recently wrote to the editors, “the very first purchase we made was a multi-year subscription to Derher- that was the first purchase before a table and chairs and before beds or mezuzos. We knew that this was the single most important purchase if we wanted a chassidishe home.
“I wait eagerly each month for the derher to arrive and I generally read it cover to cover right away and then read it again in the following days.
“The Derher is like fresh air for our home, it puts our perspective back to the way it should be, living with the Rebbe and the attitude of Elokus B’pshitus. It’s light that drives away any worldly ideas that may have crept into our home over the month.
“What I appreciate most about this magazine in the pure sincerity. Boruch Hashem as a busy mother I can’t always be so involved in ruchniyus. Other magazines, and articles written elsewhere often give me a feeling of inadequacy, they give me guilt feelings for not being so involved in ruchniyus. Derher is the only magazine that I can pick up knowing that it will uplift me and encourage me without making me feel guilty in any way. It gives over so beautifully the pure truth of the Rebbe without having a sanctimonious feel. It gives me the push to do what the Rebbe wants within my stage of life.
“Just wanted to say thank you for this beautiful publication and the chayus you have imbued into my family.
“Yasher Koach! Yelchu mechayil el choyil!”
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the rebbe replied to that SPECIFIC women. in that SPECIFIC situation. that’s all.
You missed the Rebbe’s point. You are focusing on the words the Rebbe chose for this lady, instead of how to solve that one big issue. Yes it is not little but BIG issue. The Rebbe”s answer is:
“And the true cause for that is – that when you are offered a shidduch you look for excuses to get out of it.”
Wishing to all הצלחה רבה!
If G-d forbid you were lacking in other places you wouldn’t say this is the only issue and your many worries wouldn’t allow you to focus on being single. Thank G-d you have the ability to focus on this ONE hope and wish.
Your question is one that jumps out at me also.
However it is important to keep in mind that if the Rebbe would write this way to this lady it is most likely because the Rebbe knew that this lady needed this sort of “tough love” push in the right direction away from self pity.
I would be very curios to know what happened to this lady.
To someone who is an older single and not married – “the only left to fix is that your not married yet” makes it sound so trivial. As if its an insignificant issue. I am grateful for my health, my parents, my family and my livelihood but the one thing I long for is a home of my own and children. Nothing can erase that pain not even all of the other amazing things I have in my life.
Its not just one little issue that is left to fix- it is THE only thing I wish for.
So true. Be thankful for the good in our lives. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work at Derher, we love you!
from where did you got this picture ?
It’s available anywhere in the world. Just check on their website derher.org and you can subscribe anywhere International
EXCELENT MAGAZINE
HAVE CHILDREN CHOOSE AN ARTICLE TO READ AT THE SHABBOS TABLE!
There is an option on the site to subscribe to any country
yes, in heichal menachem in Jerusalem on yehezkel st.
to #1,
I contacted them already and asked. They said it is not available in Israel. I really wish it was
Can we get it in Israel? If so, how/where?