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Friday, 19 Iyyar, 5779
  |  May 24, 2019

    Reasons Why I Love Being Tznius

    From the COLlive inbox: A Crown Heights mother writes about the reasons why she loves being tznius in her daily life. Full Story

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    beautifully written!
    Guest
    beautifully written!

    Very inspired and very true.
    for you fantastic poem, i say thank you.
    May you be blessed in all that you do
    bezchus naashim tzidkaniyos , our Rebbe , v’hu yegaleinu!!!

    Great poem
    Guest
    Great poem

    Well written and so positive

    Beautiful
    Guest
    Beautiful

    Well written and extremely well put!
    Just what we needed to hear now,
    I applaud you.

    👏🏻
    Guest
    👏🏻

    This is fantastic 🙂 I totally agree

    What age?
    Guest
    What age?

    How old is this Mushky!?
    How beautiful! We can all take a lesson from her that’s for sure!
    Pure faith and belief!:)
    May you go Mechayil lechoyil!

    Beautiful!!!
    Guest
    Beautiful!!!

    Well said

    observer from london uk
    Guest
    observer from london uk

    Really beautifully expressed. The downside is that you will always get the miserable cynics who love to have a gripe about any aspect of yiddishkeit being the cause of all their ills, who will now write something negative about this as well . Am I being cynical too ?!!

    Man
    Guest
    Man

    Even though I’m a man, I was moved to tears from this!! Thank you!!

    Thanks
    Guest
    Thanks

    Such a beautiful use of writing skill

    miryam swerdlov
    Guest
    miryam swerdlov

    i love the poem. and please please, can we stop this irresponsible commenting without saying our names? (and names that are fabricated…) if you believe in something, stand up for it. be proud. if its stam geredt, then DON’T. its’ not good for you, its’ not good for your children, and it is just hurtful. Thats’ called a pashkvil. Kol Hakavod Mushky, your poem is spot on. (even if its a generic name…)

    I do it because its my territory
    Guest
    I do it because its my territory

    Exactly right! why are these young mothers flaunting their your children’s bodies along with their own, for all the corrupt world to see???

    Beautiful
    Guest
    Beautiful

    Great Job

    Beautiful
    Guest
    Beautiful

    This is the nicest comeback I’ve read relating to Motti Girary’s letter to the Mothers of Bnos Menachem. I didn’t love his letter. Correct; I’m not perfect in the tznius department, albeit I do feel that I try my best and I’m conscious of it and do try to always walk out without offending Hashem in particular or the female gender in general. I believe that is the gauge we should have regarding tznius. We were given a Mitzvah and it is each woman’s obligation and choice how she will carry out this Mitzvah, with the hope that she will… Read more »

    Unbelievable
    Guest
    Unbelievable

    Wait, you mean that you don’t feel oppressed by a patriarchal misogynist religion? You mean that the rules passed down from our holy Torah which are specific to the way you actually dress are something that you as a woman can appreciate and not see as restricting your self expression? You mean that you can follow the spirit as well as the law without feeling like you “aren’t being true to yourself?” You must be stuck in the 16th century. Orrrrr, maybe you’re frum. Kol hakovod.

    love
    Guest
    love

    love
    love love
    love love love
    <3

    To #13
    Guest
    To #13

    While I understand what you are trying to say unfortunately I have to disagree with your statement “We know where to look for instructions and generally women are intuitive regarding their appearance, we don’t need a man giving us his Mussar in this area.” I believe the streets of Crown Heights justify my disagreement. Self love blinds intuition which is why an outside party can be very important.

    From the author
    Guest
    From the author

    To #5, I’m a mother of a few children B”H
    To#10 yes my name is actually Mushky 😉

    Well written
    Guest
    Well written

    Amazing !! The call for more positive​ light on tznuis

    Inspiring
    Guest
    Inspiring

    Amazing.This concept of loving tznious is quoted in Rabbi Dovber Gopins book “honesty is modesty”.

    Making it work for you
    Guest
    Making it work for you

    I look at it as a challenge to embrace. I don’t need to worry about the latest trend. I am very creative. I do lots of cut and paste–buy 2 when the price goes down, buy Vintage sewing patterns on eBay, alter the pattern, sew or have someone sew for you. Above all, by dressing tsnius you are known as a Jewess. By dressing in-tsnius one disappears into the sea of fashion and goyishe ways of dressing. Would you rather be known or unknown?

    Thank you!
    Guest
    Thank you!

    Thank you. I too love being Tzniusdik, and appreciate the beauty in what you said. You said beautifully much of what I feel, but can’t express. I love the positivity (and can’t stand the negativity — and I know that’s negativity).
    Thank you for sharing — and for empowering many positive comments!

    EXCELLENT
    Guest
    EXCELLENT

    TO CONTINUE THE POSITIVITY: 1. MY DAUGHTER ON SHLICHUS BUYS 4 DRESSES TO DRESS HER 3 GIRLS. THERE IS ALWAYS MATERIAL NEEDED TO ADD SLEEVES AND LENGTH. 2. FOLLOWING A TREND YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN PERSON BUT A COPY-CAT. 3. SOON WE WILL SEE MID-CALF DRESSES AND SKIRTS BECAUSE THAT IS THE LATEST TREND! 4. ALMIGHTY G-D NEVER CHANGES SO I BUY STYLES THAT NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE, AND I HAVE CLOTHING FROM 20 YEARS AGO THAT ARE STILL ELEGANT. 5. STYLES COME AND GO AND EAT UP ALL YOUR MONEY. SAVE MONEY AND BUY CONSERVATIVE CLOTHING. 6.… Read more »

    Amazing
    Guest
    Amazing

    Love this!!! Thank you:)

    this is great!
    Guest
    this is great!

    Can we all add our own reasons we love tznius in the comment section?

    Thanks for sharing
    Guest
    Thanks for sharing

    ….and morah swerdlov… Most people are not brave and confident like you

    Good poem!
    Guest
    Good poem!

    For those who have a hard time affording new Tznius clothing, there are many second hand type stores that have all sizes of very affordable, classy clothing in like new condition.
    Be Tznius! You’re too precious, not to be confident!

    Great poem!
    Guest
    Great poem!

    I love and appreciate the mitzva of Tznius And I thank Hashem for that Every day We all have struggles Internal External How lucky am I that I can walk down the street without the passersby knowing my level in avoda; without my personal connection between me and Hashem being exposed to the world. I am tznius, But I am nowhere near perfect And that itself is an understatement The outside reflects the inside But it’s also good at hiding it. I am thankful that I can work on myself privately, and have Hashem judge me without the extra help… Read more »

    Correction to Heading/Title "BEING TZNIUS"
    Guest
    Correction to Heading/Title "BEING TZNIUS"

    Either you say “Being Tznius’dig” or you say “Being (A)Tznuah”.
    (“Being Tznius” means “Being Modesty” which is obviously an incorrect statement).
    Hopefully this common error invented by the “Dor Hgoogle” will be corrected.

    Yes, but.....
    Guest
    Yes, but.....

    Tznius is important, but what this still fails to address is some of the over the top demands in the school letter. For me it became personal. My Bubbie, who was not religious in the least, always stood by me as I was growing up and when I decided to become frum, not only would she take me out to eat to only kosher restaurants and buy me clothes (tznius), she paid for my expensive yeshiva education. I don’t know where I would be today if it wasn’t for her love and generosity. When she passed away a few years… Read more »

    To 26
    Guest
    To 26

    Saying tznius clothing is too expensive is an old excuse. Plenty women are walking around with non tznius expensive clothing. It may take more time and resourcefulness, but beautiful, fashionable and affordable tznius clothing can be found. Not in expensive Jewish stores but in regular chain/department stores. Especially now with midi and maxi dresses and skirts so in fashion.

    Reaching the Goal
    Guest
    Reaching the Goal

    Funny how all the negative coverage on tznius has brought out so many positive reactions on the beauty of tznius and also proven the need to enforce it.

    Important
    Guest
    Important

    If you don’t stand for something, you may fall for anything
    Tzinius is to benefit us, not to deprive

    Thanks for Posting, COL
    Guest
    Thanks for Posting, COL

    Beautiful, real, honest, Thank you!!
    Just a note: Please always capitalize words that refer to Hashem. the One above, the Creator, etc.

    Beautiful
    Guest
    Beautiful

    Thanks for sharing this

    Devorah Leah Rosenfeld
    Guest
    Devorah Leah Rosenfeld

    Thank you for the positive message in this poem. It made me brave enough to admit that I love tznius, too. I love knowing so clearly what is private and what is public. I love the opportunity to cloak myself in a mitzvah. I love being instantly identified as a frum woman, no matter where I go. I love the confidence and connection, the dignity and the ease that come with embracing tznius. But, like every mitzvah, the power doesn’t come from loving it. The power comes from keeping it.

    Really beautiful, amazing poem,
    Guest
    Really beautiful, amazing poem,

    Says it like it like it should be, but doesn’t mention how you cope with acquaintances, neighbors, etc. that might be struggling?

    Dikdukduck
    Guest
    Dikdukduck

    Actually, she loves being tzanuah. That’s the adjective, tzniut is the noun.

    Thank you!!
    Guest
    Thank you!!

    So happy to hear positivity about tznius this week. I don’t experience the difference that Halacha defines what I eat or what I wear or how I keep Shabbos. When laxity begins in one area it quickly extends to all areas.
    This inspires me to tighten up observance all around
    Dvoiry

    great
    Guest
    great

    beautiful, thank you!

    safam4u
    Guest
    safam4u

    BEAUTIFUL poem! Beautifully said and oh, so true.
    Thank you!

    Long Sheitel
    Guest
    Long Sheitel

    #29. Tznius means dressing in an attractive manner, but
    not attracting. A sheitel that is longer then the shoulder
    blades is definetly attracting a man. If you truly want to be tznius,please cut the sheitel!

    Just amazing!
    Guest
    Just amazing!

    This is the most beautiful article on this topic.
    Thanks so much for presenting Tznius in the most loving and respectful manner yet!
    Hope to see more of your writings.

    slippery slope
    Guest
    slippery slope

    I agree with #29. There is Halacha, and there is borderline- which depends on how the image that the woman (or man) portrays in her/his bearing. Halevai we should all succeed in the clear Halocho part and disagree only with the image the shaitel or nail polish portrays. Only one problem – the slippery slope that starts with long shaitels and loud nail polish that continues by eroding necklines etc. etc. etc. etc. etc………………………………………….

    Thank you for representing many of us
    Guest
    Thank you for representing many of us

    This poem was so different, so pure, so true. It touched the core of our beings and gave us a moment to reflect and be honest with our selves. We all know what truth looks like. However, at times truth is obscured because we place ourselves into the picture a little much. Everything that comes our way is viewed in a subjective manner. There is one thing though that always remains the same. Emes. No matter what angle you look at it, everyone perceives truth it in the same way. When we argue, especially on such sensitive topics like Tznius,… Read more »

    I'll feel Neshamah better,
    Guest
    I'll feel Neshamah better,

    When I wear my long sheitels. I wasn’t raised Satmer… or am I supposed to be? Are they going to stone me for being Chabad? Where are we taking this? Is it better, healthier for our self image, self being, to be so square.Does Chabad stand for Kiriuv? I think over the past twenty years as long as we dress modestly, the Woman of the World-Chabad have done pretty well for themselves with attractive long sheitels. Let’s not bash the beauty of our accomplishments!

    to 37
    Guest
    to 37

    dikDuk
    its -she is Tznuah
    not -she is Tzanuah

    Moussia B.
    Guest
    Moussia B.

    I have discussed this with a lot of friends (other chabad girls). This is a summary of the general opinion and discussion: I agree that we should be made more accountable for the HALACHIC aspects of tznius (collar bone, elbows, knees). I disagree with a school making people sign for “extras” – chumros, minhagim (denim, nail polish, length of sheitels). These are minhag hamakom, hora’os of the Rebbe that help us feel for the mitzva and do the best we can to fulfill Hashem’s Will. If someone, for whatever reason decides not to follow those, that is his/her own struggle.… Read more »

    It's an amazing school...
    Guest
    It's an amazing school...

    With all due respect to Bnos Menachem for enforcing Tznius. I just don’t think that we are all cut out of the same cookie mold . Some of us need our long hair or sheitels.

    Shoulder blades
    Guest
    Shoulder blades

    I just realized it’s shoulder blades, not shoulders. That’s a very decent length, almost half way down your back. That being said, I happen to support educational styles that are based on inclusivity, because that was how I was brought up, and I found it very healthy. As a result I choose to donate to institutions that have a similar attitude. However, that is based on my experience and perspective. I understand that R. Gurary has a different approach upon which he founded his school. If you like his approach and want to send your kids there, it means follow… Read more »

    Re #47
    Guest
    Re #47

    There is a huge misconception inherent in that perspective.
    Nail polish, long shaitels etc are not a matter of minhag and hashkafa. Since they attract male attention, they would be halahically problematic because of “lifnei over lo sitein michshol”.
    In other words, halacha is not only about covering skin. According to halacha, a Jewish woman may not dress in a way that is provocative…

    Worst dressed men
    Guest
    Worst dressed men

    After all these responses to the original article on womens dress code and ‘that’ letter by the Rabbi, its about time a womens point of view is put forward about how the Chabad man generally looks. Overweight, scruffy, unkempt, untidy, in fact basically very grob looking indeed!!

    Pirkei Avos
    Guest
    Pirkei Avos

    This Shabbos one of the mishnes in Pirkei Avos was about how a person shouldn’t judge one mitzvah is better than another. I have realized many women believe tzius is less important then let’s say, shabbos. I have asked people why and they have said, its personal, it’s not clear cut. I tthink we have to stop with the excuses and realize Tzius is just as important as any other mitzvah!

    I don't wear long sheitels
    Guest
    I don't wear long sheitels

    But.. we want our daughters to wear sheitels happily and proudly! Many chassidish, frum, refined women
    Wear beautiful longer length sheitels!
    Let’s give them a break ! Why come down so harshly on
    Them all the time!

    Love it
    Guest
    Love it

    Finally someone who makes sense. I became tznius as an unwillingly BT just so my girls would be accepted in the forum community. Right thing for wrong reasons? Who cares. My girls and granddaughters are tznius and I certainly look a lot better than my non religious friends.

    #44
    Guest
    #44

    That was breathtakingly brilliant and moving. Thanks for sharing.

    #27
    Guest
    #27

    Love it!!!

    Just saying
    Guest
    Just saying

    Tznius is also in thoughts, speech, and action.

    I love being tzinus too
    Guest
    I love being tzinus too

    I like the writer’s wonderfully positive “comeback” too all the heated conversations.

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