by Bentzion Elisha
Random items appeared to be missing from our apartment. Could it be our sweet hardworking cleaning lady who came highly recommended by neighbors who had her for the last 7 years?
My father-in-law dismissed the idea saying, “everyone blames the cleaning lady first and it never is, it’s too obvious.”
My mother related to us what happened when my father’s passport went missing and panic immediately set in. He had my mother fire their cleaning lady only to find the passport on a shelf a few months later. Oops.
Nevertheless, things were missing, including my grandmothers’ diamond ring which I gave my wife for our wedding.
After discussing the matter with our parents, my wife and I concluded it just couldn’t be her. Rationalizing that the items were just “lost” and were going to be found in the near future eased our minds.
However, last week, Divine Providence taught us a lesson in trusting ‘sweet’ strangers.
My mother got our newly pierced-eared girls gold earrings to avoid infection. Designating them as a gift for Shabbos, my wife put them in a cup on a shelf in the kitchen.
The girls would look at the cup on the shelf excited for Shabbos to come and also when they will wear their grandmothers’ earrings for the 1st time.
But on Erev Shabbos we realized that the earrings were missing.
After asking everyone in the family, we learned that the earrings weren’t moved by anyone of us. Funny, the cleaning lady came the day before and all of the sudden the earrings were missing.
Self doubt set in as we could have unintentionally misplaced them somewhere in the kitchen. After a lengthy search our suspicions were solidified. We then realized that the items weren’t missing, but were rather stolen, and the cleaning lady had to have done it.
What should we do? A confrontation was necessary.
Since the cleaning lady hardly spoke English, a Spanish speaking friend came to the rescue.
My wife’s friend told our cleaning lady that we knew she took things from our home, and that my wife feels very sad about losing the engagement ring and the other items.
My wife was willing to give her one chance to return them or else.
The cleaning lady did not confess immediately, but rather exclaimed that she knew where they were and offered to look for the items. Our Spanish speaking friend suggested we have Miriam Shultz call her as well.
Miriam runs Miriam’s Cleaning Service where she screens the ladies thoroughly, and of course, she speaks Spanish.
I don’t know what Miriam said, but I know that she did scare our cleaning lady.
Instead of coming the next day to clean our apartment and “show my wife where she put things”, the cleaning lady came with her daughter that very evening with a bag full of our jewelry, including the engagement ring!
Her daughter explained that her mother “found” these around the house when she was cleaning and put them in her pocket. She intended to return them, but she forgot.
More shocked by the miraculous return of many of our precious items that had been stolen, we were shocked that she really did do it.
How could this quiet, sweet, hardworking lady to whom we opened our home, betray us? How could we have sometimes left her in the house by herself?
On occasion, how could we have left her with our babies alone, while getting her money from the bank?
Are we going to get back the other items that were “missing”, that have been taken as well, such as some more jewelry, silverware, the iPod, some kids shoes and other items we don’t even know about?
Meanwhile, we informed our previous neighbor, the one who recommended us her ‘trustworthy good’ cleaning lady to us of our most current events. Wowed and scared at the same time, she was dumb struck by the news. She had this cleaning lady for 7 years!
Furthermore she was alarmed at how she routinely left the house with the cleaning lady alone as well as left her children with her.
Every once in a while when things went missing she wouldn’t pay much attention to it, thinking the kids misplaced it. She made a quick list of recent losses: Her daughters China dolls, $100 bill from a guests luggage, a $20 bill from her sons room, an iPod and the list goes on.
Another tough call from Miriam to our ‘sweet, good and trustworthy’ cleaning lady had her calling us again. She offered to give us money for the other items. Sifting through various belongings, seemingly from other people, she could no longer find our other possessions.
We were just the tip of the iceberg.
Cleaning provided her with a paid pass into peoples homes like ours, whose trust was gained after years of ‘good service’. She scouted out the house for valuables to take that paled in comparison to the few dollars an hour she received in monetary value.
We called a Rov not knowing exactly how much to charge. We didn’t want to steal from our thief…
He told us we can charge her whatever we felt covered the amount since she wasn’t telling us exactly what else she took. He also took the opportunity to reprimand us for leaving the cleaning lady in our apartment by herself.
In addition to putting ourselves in danger he said it could be a serious problem of Kashrus.
Regarding theft, a common practice among cleaning ladies, I heard about after telling this story to numerous people, is that the cleaning ladies put items they take in the garbage which they take out. Later either they or someone from their family comes around and takes it from the garbage…
The Rebbe teaches us to share what we learned with others. My family learned a big lesson from our ‘sweet, good and trustworthy’ cleaning lady.
Now we are sharing the lesson we learned with you.
A person easily trusts an individual they see often, like the ‘nice and good’ cleaning lady. A person might say “Our cleaning lady is a good one…”, but ask yourself, are these cleaners’ morals just like yours?
Please protect yourself.
We had a lady in our neighborhood that did not steal, instead she damaged the home owners belongings. It was done in such a way that you would never believe it was her. It was absolutely shocking. I guess she hates her job? Too much jealously?
We too have had valuables stolen by these “nice” people. They must be watched and not take out trash. We bought internal cameras and have video of one of them stealing.
wish I read this a year ago!
I clean houses for a living and trust me the best thing to do is act like you are always being video recorded. I treat people the same way I would want to be treated. I don’t want any of my stuff ever taken from me. Therefore I would not take anyone else’s stuff. One thing I don’t understand is some of you said you go through your cleaning ladies purse when she is not around. Why would she need a purse when she is cleaning a house? She should just have cleaning supplies and that’s it.
My mother is a cleaning lady once a week for a few houses and i have gone with her many times to help her out, and she does not steal so to everyone saying that all cleaning ladies steal just stop. My mom isn’t rich she struggles with money but that why she has two jobs not including her once a week cleaning but on her second job she also cleans and she cleans in a university and whenever she finds a phone or lost personal items she takes them and takes them to a front office or a lost… Read more »
I’m with you in your comment number 17 that’s the truth if we paid the ladies a little more, or at least raise their earnings, like they do in any regular job, they wouldn’t doing this.
this recently happened to me a $2.00 bill that the ”toth fairy” gave my daughter along with a i pod touch, juicy cuture earings,one of my daughters cell phone wich she thaught she ”missedplaced” and an American girl doll that was in the playroom reminding you i put all this stuff away in my attic when i know im going to leave her alone she must of found out cuz it was all gone i had my daughter cry, yell and then she gived in and i made a police report
its a good story because i always say it my cleaning lady that stol some of my valueables, but my mother says always its someone else, but i dont believe here.
and cleaning ladys can do a lot worse than steal
probably a made up story to scare ppl
one of the first times my cleaning lady came, I had lost my bracelet. I asked her to look for it and she got really defensive. That made me suspect her. Then I was missing my wedding band. She was almost in tears. I didn’t know if I could trust her or not. I put on a web cam for awhile and recorded her. BH I have her for many years and leaving jewelry and money around and I truly believe that she is honest. But It was an uncomfortable beginning because she felt I didn’t trust her, and I… Read more »
do not leave sets of keys hanging by the door, any delivery man, cleaning lady, mail man could take it very quickly.
Why would anyone leave their kids with a stranger which is exactly what a cleaning lady is, I would be terrified of a possible kidnapping, Chas V’Shalom.
my cleaning lady showed up last week with a magen dovid charm. she told me in her broken english she had it for a long time. she recently stopped working on mondays by another local jewish family…. I hired her about a year ago but she used to work at other jewish families before that…
THANKS FOR THE ARTICLE, BUT I THINK YOU DEALT WITH IT IN A MOST RIDICULOUS MANNER. I WOULD HAVE CALLED THE POLICE WHILE SHE WAS AT MY HOUSE. THEN YOU MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN EVERYTHING BACK.
thats wy we dont have a cleaning lady!!!!!!
that is craizy
if you wouldn’t hand over your diamond ring to your cleaning lady for safeguarding, why would you ever place your own children in their care?
There are 2 ways of looking at things:
1) I’m trusting in Hashem that He will protect me so i wont even bother to try to protect myself
2) Hashem is going to help me but i’m still going to try to keep myself safe.
This kind man showed us all a nice lesson. “Never trust your cleaning lady.”
It may not happen to all of us but it happens to most.
My mother always taught/teaches me:
“If you have nothing useful or nice to say DON’T say it.”
Obviously, your parents didn’t teach you that.
I have had so many workers over the years and am sure one stole from me. However, I have also WRONGLY accused two workers of stealing and later found the stuff. To this day I feel so sick about it. Don’t fool yourself into thinking only “goytes” steal! Come on. It’s a moral thing! You have moral Jews and immoral Jews. The same applies to non-jews. Be villigant. Have a safe for your jewellery in a hidden spot in your house. And, most importantly, for your children and posessions, install camerras, so if there ever is an issue, you can… Read more »
Dont feel so bad for people who work under the table they get cash, plus free hospital care and who knows what else.
All new immigrant groups have gone through this stage in America-the question is who can climb the ladder while earning an HONEST living.
As to Jewish cleaning women, not sure who you have heard about it, but I havent seen any ads.
please post if you know of people.
Mine Did.Yours Did. His Did.
Mine Does, Yours Does. His Does.
Mine Will.Yours Will…. His Will.
It’s all H-s Will.
Isn’t it Pirkey Avot? Something about “The More Man servants,the more thievery?” 2:7
Benven.Tsfat
My sister also had a cleaning lady from a local Jewish Cleaning Service, and she stole children’s jewelry that our mother had just sent for her grandchildren, as well as a ring (a necklace also went missing around that time, but we were never sure what happened to it)! Unfortunately, they never did anything to help us out! We figured there’s no way the cleaning lady would admit it, so we simply never called her again.
nanny cam. the only way
First of all, you should never trust a stranger jew or non-jew with your most precious belongings (your children). Second, halacha has a lot to say about trusting non-jews specifically (kashrus notwithstanding). Generalizing is a fact of life and is used in Torah all the time. In addition, only a fool would use a possible exception as a rule. If people had to pay more for cleaning help they would probably not use help that often. Also, if someone steels due to their has the lack of morals they would probably steal even if you paid them more. The government… Read more »
Dont put a stumbling block before the blind……never leave valuables around. Or, if you cannot lock up all valuables, keep an eye on the cleaning around. I used to send the kids in and out of hte room the cleaning lady was working in constantly so she would never be completely alone or feel “comfortable” to steal. And I would even check their purses or bags when they were in another room. You cannot trust a goy. It is as simple as that. You have to be tactful, diplomatic….but not trusting.
My cleaning lady gets 11 off the books. Thats more then minimum wage with no taxes to pay. Noone should say we aren’t paying them enough so they need to steal. They’d steal if we were paying them 20 an hour.
Why is this racist? It was respectful and factual. Look how careful they were not to “steal” from the thief! I for one appreciate this wake up call. AS much as you know these stories, it’s so much more real to read a factual account like this one. I will be making some major changes. Even if it’s just a r i s k, why risk it? Btw, there is a new book, I forget the name, I’ll post it later, about Halachos in the Kitchen. There’s a whole chapter about leaving housekeeping help alone at home, and it is… Read more »
We have had the same cleaner for a number of years. Though I would like to trust her, we always hide jewelery and valuables in the safe before she comes. I also put my wife’s pocket book and cell phone away so that she wont be tempted to tamper with our belongings. A few weeks ago our neighbor who uses this cleaner told us she was missing one of the childrens’ bracelets, and the next time the cleaner came she was actually wearing it!! And the cleaning lady said “sorry miss, sorry” with some lame excuse. Never, never trust any… Read more »
Firstly, i agree wholeheatedly with number 17. Let more jewish people do cleaning and you can then hire a jewish cleaner. Secondly, the photo shows a hispanic lady cleaning. What if a jewish person was the cleaner? A jew never steals? perhaps one can get get a cleaner where the cleaners are checked first? In relation to kashrus issues and nannies, my late father told a story from Vienna where the nanny used to say Shmah with the children before they went to bed and she eventually converted to Judaism. Non-Jews will often have more respect for kashrus than a… Read more »
too shockingly, true heard this one myself…
You are stealing from the government by hiring illegal workers.
MAKE A WEBSITE Where people could report a insident and post a name and picture of that cleaning lady, it can serve like a D&B or credit agency for cleaning ladies, and the cleaning ladies will know if they mess up every jewish community will know about it.
If cleaning ladies were paid a living wage, perhaps they would not need to steal.
Or you could choose to hire a Jew to clean. In eretz yisroel, there are plenty of yidden who don’t find it beneath them to clean houses.
I did it myself when I was in sem. As my mother said, there is no shame in hard, honest, work!
done be so sure
Interesting article, thanks for making people aware.
Hub a bisel sechel velche sort zachen meleight afen reshet far alle tzu zen. Zeh lo shtetl, m’ken arein leigen mentchen in sakone.
A friend from Williamsburg shared with me two cleaning lady/nanny horror stories that unfortunately occurred there, G-d forbid. The first one involved a family who had a woman come to clean and baby-sit their newly born baby so the mother could go back to work. As time passed they noticed that their baby wasn’t behaving normally, something wasn’t right. One time the nanny couldn’t come, so the mother stayed with her children. At one point the baby cried bitterly and wouldn’t be appeased regardless of what the mother did. Her seven year old then came to the mother and asked… Read more »
seriousill ppl grow up. don’t pretend like this isthe first tiem ppl have had cleaning ladys steal from them.
its a problum that had been ocuring for as long as anyone can remember.
if your so nervous ur cleaning lady might be stealing… then don’t hire a cleaning person, and clean up yourself.
and if u don’t have time… then figure out waht to do.
but odn’t post a articly on c.o.l about it bec… its not the first time or the last time for it to occur.
i NEVER understand why ppl always look at me as if i’m the weird one when i ask if the cleaning lady they’re sending me is trustworthy, etc…. Like I”m paranoid or something… It’s simply NAIVE of ppl who leave these women they don’t know in their homes alone, or in large areas unattended/unsupervised for long periods of time….how much worse so leaving your kids with them… do you know where your cleaning lady lives? do you put things out to ‘test’ her and see if they go ‘missing’? seriously, to comment number 10 – just ‘not letting’ her in… Read more »
http://www.nannycam.com/
EVER!
put up cameras and let them know u have them
Powerful
stop being naive, none of them could never be trusted,
i can tell you what happened to dozens of yidishe families in boro park who “TRUSTED” their “innocent hard working” poor cleaning ladies and nannies.
you wouldn’t wanna know how those innocent workers finished their cleaning carrier,
yidden be smart, don’t wait for a catastrophe to open your eyes, keep your eyes open NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanx 4 posting!