Our 4 Visits to the Rebbetzin

Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson OBM lived an intensely private life while quietly supporting her husband’s work. She proved a true helpmate and an inspiration for thousands of Lubavitcher women.

The Avner Institute would like to present excerpts from My Encounter with the Rebbe, Volume 1, by Zalmon Jaffe, of blessed memory. A British businessman and personal guest of the Rebbe, Mr. Jaffe came to Crown Heights every Shavous. He recorded his experiences in a journal which would be published annually for the Chabad community.

He and his wife Roselyn enjoyed a special relationship with the Rebbetzin, whom they had the merit to visit during their frequent stays and whose gracious manner was warmly remembered.

Our visit in 1963:

I asked the Rebbe for permission to invite his Rebbetzin – Chaya Mushka – to the wedding of my daughter Hindy and son-in-law Rabbi Shmuel Lew. The Rebbe said: “You can invite her. She will be delighted; although she will not come physically. She does know of you, since you always ‘say it with flowers’.” (The Rebbetzin did not like appearing in public. However, we had for some time now been sending her and the Rebbe flowers before Yom Tov).

Just over a week before the wedding, the groom and bride and ourselves were granted the honor and privilege of meeting the Rebbetzin in her home for the first time. One incident comes to mind, illustrating the wonderful and perfect hostess she was.

Shmuel accidentally knocked over a glass of red fruit punch. Shmuel’s face turned the color of the now bright red table cloth. The Rebbetzin immediately assured him that it was a wonderful siman bracha (sign of blessing) and so on. She seemed so happy about it that I was tempted to knock over my glass, too!

Our visit in 1970:

Friday afternoon, Sivan 1 (June 5), at 3:00, was one of the highlights of our trip to Crown Heights, a visit to our charming and gracious Rebbetzin, the Rebbe’s wife, Chaya Mushka. It is something to which we always look forward and we always make certain that we are not one second late.

We were privileged and honored this year to be allowed to take with us Hindy, Shmuel and their five children. (Yossi and Mendy were very shy, Golda Rivka and Pinchas were good, but Yenta Chaya was terrific. She was singing songs for the Rebbetzin all the time). We had nice fruit juice, cream cake and so forth. After half an hour, Hindy and Shmuel left with the children. We stayed for two hours altogether.

We had a very good, enjoyable and happy afternoon, laughing and joking and occasionally being serious, too.

The Rebbetzin talked about Susan and Avrohom [Jaffe, Reb Zalmon’s son and daughter-in-law], who had visited her last Purim. She had “watched Susan waiting for Avrohom outside 770 for hours!” She adored their “lovely children.” We informed the Rebbetzin how impressed Susan had been with the friendliness and courtesy of the Rebbetzin, and how much “at home” one was made to feel.

On Sunday, Sivan 3 (June 7), at three, we had the delightful pleasure of visiting with our beloved Rebbetzin again. We went alone this time; so we had tea instead of fruit juice.

We all agreed that it was a pity that the yeshiva boys and the men did not take an example from the Rebbe in cleanliness, tidiness, punctuality and doing everything with a seder (orderly manner). Also, the Rebbe was the perfect gentleman. He still greeted Roselyn with “Good morning” or “Good afternoon” and touched his hat whenever he met her in the street. We had a jolly good time for two and a quarter hours and the Rebbetzin asked us to come again next year, please G-d.

Our visit in 1971:

We were again privileged and honored to be received by our dear Rebbetzin at the Rebbe and Rebbetzin’s home on President Street. We spent over two and half hours with the Rebbetzin. The Rebbe is generally not at home during those visits; he is hard at work in 770.

The Rebbetzin seems to gain in stature and charm every year. She receives regular letters from our daughter-in-law, Susan. She said, “Susan is a very wonderful, wonderful girl.” (She once referred to her as a “wonderful kid” and explained to me that this is an American term!)

I told the Rebbetzin how disappointed I was that the Rebbe had discontinued having his Yom Tov (holiday) meals with his chasidim. I missed those “private and homely gatherings.” On the other hand, I was extremely delighted for the Rebbetzin’s sake: after all those years she, finally, had her husband with her for Yom Tov. It must have been a real mesirat nefesh (self-sacrifice) for her all those years, all alone without her husband (the Rebbe) at her table.

The Rebbetzin always asks about our grandchildren. Susan had sent photographs for her, too, which were very much appreciated.

The Rebbetzin told us (what the Rebbe had already told us at the yechidus – private audience) that the Rebbe had brought Roselyn’s letter about the apartment home, to show her. The Rebbetzin said she was very pleased that Roselyn had written such a nice letter to the Rebbe.

The time passed very quickly, but we had the pleasure of visiting the Rebbetzin again for another hour or so before we left for home.

Just before Shabbat, there was a knock on the downstairs door of our apartment. When I opened the door, there was Mr. Halberstam with a parcel. It was a Shabbos gift from the Rebbetzin, a lovely cream cake. It looked delicious and as sweet as our dear Rebbetzin. It was very gratifying to be reminded that someone was thinking of us. It was delicious.

Our visit in 1972:

We again had the zechus (privilege) to visit our dear Rebbetzin at her home. Actually we had a double zechus, because we were fortunate to visit her on two separate occasions, as we did last year.

Her house had just been redecorated. It was very nice and bright. Our Rebbetzin also looked very nice and bright; she seemed much younger than last year. She oozes charm and graciousness. To quote an expression often used by the Rebbetzin herself, which translates as exceptional, “umberuffen.” We feel proud and privileged to again be in her company.

She inquired about our children and grandchildren, especially regarding Susan, for whom we delivered another letter to the Rebbetzin. In her letters, Susan describes the daily happenings which occur at home in Manchester.

We spent a very pleasant couple of hours together. I read out excerpts from last year’s diary, my Israel diary and parts of this Shavuos trip’s diaries, which I am writing now (I had brief notes).

The Rebbetzin praised my work (it was not just politeness, she is obviously a real lady), and remarked that I had talent and a gift for writing. She recommended that I have all my diaries printed in one volume.

On our second visit with the Rebbetzin, time simply fled. The two hours seemed like 30 minutes and it was time for mincha (the afternoon service).

The Rebbetzin confirmed that the Rebbe does enjoy seeing me and everyone at the davening (prayers). Although it did seem that the Rebbe does not notice anyone, the Rebbetzin assured me that he saw everybody and it made him very happy indeed.

We again had the zechus (privilege) to visit our dear Rebbetzin at her home. Actually, we had a double zechus, because we were fortunate to visit her on two separate occasions, as we did last year.

Her house had just been redecorated. It was very nice and bright. Our Rebbetzin also looked very nice and bright; she seemed much younger than last year. She oozes charm and graciousness. To quote an expression often used by the Rebbetzin herself, which translates as exceptional, “umberuffen.” We feel proud and privileged to again be in her company.

She inquired about our children and grandchildren, especially regarding Susan, for whom we delivered another letter to the Rebbetzin. In her letters, Susan describes the daily happenings which occur at home in Manchester.

We spent a very pleasant couple of hours together. I read out excerpts from last year’s diary, my Israel diary and parts of this Shavuos trip’s diaries, which I am writing now (I had brief notes).

The Rebbetzin praised my work (it was not just politeness, she is obviously a real lady), and remarked that I had talent and a gift for writing. She recommended that I have all my diaries printed in one volume.

On our second visit with the Rebbetzin, time simply fled. The two hours seemed like 30 minutes and it was time for mincha (the afternoon service).

The Rebbetzin confirmed that the Rebbe does enjoy seeing me and everyone at the davening (prayers). Although it did seem that the Rebbe does not notice anyone, the Rebbetzin assured me that he saw everybody and it made him very happy indeed.