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Sunday, 18 Tammuz, 5779
  |  July 21, 2019

    Nshei Issue Addresses Bullying

    School psychologist Izzy Kalman addresses the serious problem of bullying in schools in the Pesach issue of the N'shei Chabad Newsletter. Full Story

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    i tried it!
    Guest
    i tried it!

    i spoke with izzy kalman a few weeks ago bec of a problem with my kid but then i decided to use it in my own life when a woman i work with started to scream at me, because she didn’t agree with a decision i made on my own (she felt i should have consulted with her first and maybe she was right), i was at first tempted to scream back (as usua) but then i decided “let me try izzy kalman method here” i was shocked at how quickly and remarkably she was transformed from a bully into… Read more »

    Izzy Kalman
    Guest
    Izzy Kalman

    Yedida, thanks so much for writing this wonderful piece about my work, and for including the many nice photos! I just want to make one comment so that readers don’t get the wrong impression. There is nothing wrong with “teaching kids to be nice to each other.” And the best way to teach it is for us to be nice. Kids learn most from what we do, not from what we say. The real problem is “forcing” them to be nice to each other, which usually involves investigating what happened, making judgments of who is wrong, and punishing the one… Read more »

    our schools
    Guest
    our schools

    Izzy Kalman is coming to the U.S. in October
    he will be speaking in schools
    will OUR schools take him?
    they should, but will they…
    maybe if parents ask them to

    contact
    Guest
    contact

    I can’t wait for the Pesach issue- I need help NOW!! My son is suffering terribly. How do I get in touch with Izzy?

    Citzen Berel
    Guest
    Citzen Berel

    Bullying is destructive. My hunch is that it’s consequent of too high a student/staff ratio. Kids can be terrible. The higher the student to teacher ratio, the more ‘free’ the children are, the more bullying you get. When the environment is conducted by adults, which it should be, the less ‘free’ the children are, or the more adult-like they are moved to behave, the less bullying you get. Add to this, that the larger the student populatio, the less intimate any given child is likely to be with any other given child and intimacy breeds empathy, which mitigates against the… Read more »

    Important article!
    Guest
    Important article!

    Really looking forward to reading this one!
    I’ve suspected that these anti-bullying programs don’t work- just like the anti-racism programs don’t work either (they actually make the problem worse) – and now Izzy confirmed it.
    Once again the N’shei is bringing us important, RELEVANT articles; thank you!!

    Cant wait for my new nshei!
    Guest
    Cant wait for my new nshei!

    awesome stuff!

    Fantastic!
    Guest
    Fantastic!

    Can’t wait to read this. The N’shei consistently provides useful, different articles, addressing real and current issues. Well done!

    from a mother
    Guest
    from a mother

    A whole group turned on my son. Why? Because even as short as 8 years ago, my son, who is twice exceptional was treated like an idiot, like somthing to be laughed at and taunted, called retired and cyber bullied. The oarents of the children all turned away from us, and no one stood up or spoke out. My son is now 18 kana hora and a lovely kind soul who just passed some major exams and is happy inside himself. However, those that did this, including parents and teachers who blamed him, will live with this until they ask… Read more »

    to #9
    Guest
    to #9

    sad i feel bad for him

    try it, you'll like it
    Guest
    try it, you'll like it

    It has nothing to do with student:teacher ratios. It has to do with how a person responds when spoken to. The social worker teaches communication skills that are easy to learn. It is not hard to learn. It is easy to learn and fun to learn, also. It doesn’t take much time to learn because once you catch on, it becomes natural. It changes your outlook on life. The fee is reasonable. See the website bullies2buddies.com. That is how the social worker can be contacted. He works over the phone. I know someone who worked with him and learned the… Read more »

    ordeal...
    Guest
    ordeal...

    my heart goes out to you
    nothing hurts more than watching our child suffer

    frustrated
    Guest
    frustrated

    It is exactly this kind of stuff that almost killed my kid. Sorry, this REALLY makes me frustrated. Now MY kid is battling PTSD for the rest of their life and the bully is what? They are battling something deep and serious. Bully comes from a cry for help when nobody will listen. People need to STOP focusing on the bullied and focus on the bully- what is causing them to act in such an unnatural way?! What is so wrong. THEY need treatment- not throw them out of school and threaten them. Many times this only makes the situation… Read more »

    Thank you
    Guest
    Thank you

    Numer 10, you are the first to say this.

    Thank you number 12
    Guest
    Thank you number 12

    The bullies don’t change, they become worse with age.
    Chana Simcha

    tipul
    Guest
    tipul

    speaking of therapy….the bully needs therapy, not just the victim. As #15 said, they don’t change….unless they get help. And as Simi Yarmush said in her incredible speech re the JCW, we cannot afford to allow any other victims, it is shvichas domim.
    Someone needs to be assigned to look out for this going on…..like a mashgiach of sorts. This should never ever continue. It could even be a sign of a personality disorder, and that is very painful and destructive to others. Its a person who spends a lifetime of trying to control others and make them miserable.

    coping skills are always useful
    Guest
    coping skills are always useful

    Teaching a child good communication skills is not putting the onus on him. It is giving him communication skills that he can use his whole life. Teaching someone how to cope is not putting an onus on him. It is teaching him high-level coping skills.

    been there
    Guest
    been there

    you THINK that it makes the most sense to focus on the bully

    but that is what the govt-mandated programs have been doing for years already – no improvement in fact the bullying spiraled

    why don’t you TRY izzy kalman’s method of helping the victim to learn new responses? just try it. it has worked for many and may work for your child too. even if it is counter-intuitive for you. Trust.

    TRY IT... YOU'LL LIKE IT
    Guest
    TRY IT... YOU'LL LIKE IT

    My grandfather taught me to try something before deciding its no good….that’s how i learned that i love broccoli..i have used and taught Izzy Kalman’s methods to patients, family, friends, and “enemies” with great success…steven sussman,PhD Child & Teen Success CenterS

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