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Wednesday, 26 Adar I, 5784
  |  March 6, 2024

Nshei Issue Addresses Bullying

School psychologist Izzy Kalman addresses the serious problem of bullying in schools in the Pesach issue of the N'shei Chabad Newsletter. Full Story

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TRY IT... YOU'LL LIKE IT
April 4, 2015 2:10 pm

My grandfather taught me to try something before deciding its no good….that’s how i learned that i love broccoli..i have used and taught Izzy Kalman’s methods to patients, family, friends, and “enemies” with great success…steven sussman,PhD Child & Teen Success CenterS

been there
March 29, 2015 8:12 am

you THINK that it makes the most sense to focus on the bully

but that is what the govt-mandated programs have been doing for years already – no improvement in fact the bullying spiraled

why don’t you TRY izzy kalman’s method of helping the victim to learn new responses? just try it. it has worked for many and may work for your child too. even if it is counter-intuitive for you. Trust.

coping skills are always useful
March 26, 2015 11:49 pm

Teaching a child good communication skills is not putting the onus on him. It is giving him communication skills that he can use his whole life. Teaching someone how to cope is not putting an onus on him. It is teaching him high-level coping skills.

tipul
March 26, 2015 12:16 pm

speaking of therapy….the bully needs therapy, not just the victim. As #15 said, they don’t change….unless they get help. And as Simi Yarmush said in her incredible speech re the JCW, we cannot afford to allow any other victims, it is shvichas domim.
Someone needs to be assigned to look out for this going on…..like a mashgiach of sorts. This should never ever continue. It could even be a sign of a personality disorder, and that is very painful and destructive to others. Its a person who spends a lifetime of trying to control others and make them miserable.

Thank you number 12
March 26, 2015 7:47 am

The bullies don’t change, they become worse with age.
Chana Simcha

Thank you
March 26, 2015 7:27 am

Numer 10, you are the first to say this.

frustrated
March 25, 2015 10:29 pm

It is exactly this kind of stuff that almost killed my kid. Sorry, this REALLY makes me frustrated. Now MY kid is battling PTSD for the rest of their life and the bully is what? They are battling something deep and serious. Bully comes from a cry for help when nobody will listen. People need to STOP focusing on the bullied and focus on the bully- what is causing them to act in such an unnatural way?! What is so wrong. THEY need treatment- not throw them out of school and threaten them. Many times this only makes the situation… Read more »

ordeal...
March 25, 2015 9:04 pm

my heart goes out to you
nothing hurts more than watching our child suffer

try it, you'll like it
March 25, 2015 9:00 pm

It has nothing to do with student:teacher ratios. It has to do with how a person responds when spoken to. The social worker teaches communication skills that are easy to learn. It is not hard to learn. It is easy to learn and fun to learn, also. It doesn’t take much time to learn because once you catch on, it becomes natural. It changes your outlook on life. The fee is reasonable. See the website bullies2buddies.com. That is how the social worker can be contacted. He works over the phone. I know someone who worked with him and learned the… Read more »

to #9
March 25, 2015 5:44 pm

sad i feel bad for him

from a mother
March 25, 2015 2:42 pm

A whole group turned on my son. Why? Because even as short as 8 years ago, my son, who is twice exceptional was treated like an idiot, like somthing to be laughed at and taunted, called retired and cyber bullied. The oarents of the children all turned away from us, and no one stood up or spoke out. My son is now 18 kana hora and a lovely kind soul who just passed some major exams and is happy inside himself. However, those that did this, including parents and teachers who blamed him, will live with this until they ask… Read more »

Fantastic!
March 25, 2015 11:53 am

Can’t wait to read this. The N’shei consistently provides useful, different articles, addressing real and current issues. Well done!

Cant wait for my new nshei!
March 25, 2015 11:23 am

awesome stuff!

Important article!
March 25, 2015 10:23 am

Really looking forward to reading this one!
I’ve suspected that these anti-bullying programs don’t work- just like the anti-racism programs don’t work either (they actually make the problem worse) – and now Izzy confirmed it.
Once again the N’shei is bringing us important, RELEVANT articles; thank you!!

Citzen Berel
March 25, 2015 9:52 am

Bullying is destructive. My hunch is that it’s consequent of too high a student/staff ratio. Kids can be terrible. The higher the student to teacher ratio, the more ‘free’ the children are, the more bullying you get. When the environment is conducted by adults, which it should be, the less ‘free’ the children are, or the more adult-like they are moved to behave, the less bullying you get. Add to this, that the larger the student populatio, the less intimate any given child is likely to be with any other given child and intimacy breeds empathy, which mitigates against the… Read more »

contact
March 25, 2015 9:20 am

I can’t wait for the Pesach issue- I need help NOW!! My son is suffering terribly. How do I get in touch with Izzy?

our schools
March 25, 2015 8:08 am

Izzy Kalman is coming to the U.S. in October
he will be speaking in schools
will OUR schools take him?
they should, but will they…
maybe if parents ask them to

Izzy Kalman
March 25, 2015 6:49 am

Yedida, thanks so much for writing this wonderful piece about my work, and for including the many nice photos! I just want to make one comment so that readers don’t get the wrong impression. There is nothing wrong with “teaching kids to be nice to each other.” And the best way to teach it is for us to be nice. Kids learn most from what we do, not from what we say. The real problem is “forcing” them to be nice to each other, which usually involves investigating what happened, making judgments of who is wrong, and punishing the one… Read more »

i tried it!
March 25, 2015 6:27 am

i spoke with izzy kalman a few weeks ago bec of a problem with my kid but then i decided to use it in my own life when a woman i work with started to scream at me, because she didn’t agree with a decision i made on my own (she felt i should have consulted with her first and maybe she was right), i was at first tempted to scream back (as usua) but then i decided “let me try izzy kalman method here” i was shocked at how quickly and remarkably she was transformed from a bully into… Read more »

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