By Sarah Junik for COLlive
Welcome to the all new blog “Shidduchim SOS.”
You know, many people have this moment in their life which they can describe as a defining moment. An enlightening moment that showed them the light or the reality.
My own came when I started looking for a shidduch for my third daughter. Suddenly, all the familiar signposts I was familiar with, changed. It was not so long since the last shidduch and yet I felt as if I was starting from scratch.
When acquaintances would ask me for help with their shidduch questions, I felt at times as if the blind were leading the blind. I was a bit pessimistic about my ability to help them, or myself.
Yet, the skills you acquire with experience are very valuable and priceless (and even funny).
After the first moments of “panic” they come to the fore. With a bit more research and listening to many lectures on the subject, plus advice from mashpiim and ‘shidduch veterans,’ I began writing for the cause.
Here is the first results I discovered:
1. There is really no guide for the beginning stages of a shidduch process.
2. Unless you have family to network and scrutinize, you are on your own. Scouting around in the dark.
Although everyone said such a guide was needed, I did not think to do this on my own. I started with the idea of writing a sample and leaving it for some lucky person to elaborate and write. Strangely enough once I started writing, the summary grew and grew.
For my third daughter’s marriage I put it all in book form and I published it. It was distributed at the wedding and I still get requests for it. That incarnation is not available anymore but I am expanding it and will IY”H publish it again.
I will be contributing the material weekly, with some modification by the COLlive editorial staff, to allow you to benefit and hold a constructive conversation.
May you find the bashert.