By: Crown Heights M.U.S.T. Committee
Photos: Menush Amit
M.U.S.T. (Mothers Unite to Stall Technology) Crown Heights hosted a community-wide event that has taken the entire Chabad community by storm. Schools from all over the USA, Canada, and even Australia have reached out to M.U.S.T. to find out how they can introduce this wonderful initiative in their communities and schools.
The feedback from hundreds of emails has been explosive and the M.U.S.T. committee is BLOWN AWAY by the enthusiastic interest. We are excited for M.U.S.T. to become a worldwide success!
M.U.S.T. is a groundbreaking platform encouraging parents to delay the age that children are allowed ownership of personal devices with internet capabilities. The program is successful when parents join together to create a pact, thereby removing peer pressure. Without the distractions and dangers of personally owned devices, children will thrive and succeed.
The Crown Heights community joined together for an evening of inspiration and empowerment on Tuesday night at the JCM. Hundreds attended the live event at the Jewish Children’s Museum, and close to a thousand more tuned in virtually to watch Simcha Minkowitz, a mother of six and a M.U.S.T. Crown Heights committee member, describe how she got involved, and how she felt that she was handed a “lifeline” to deal with her children’s technology use and ownership. Simcha described the devastating “loss of childhood that you could never get back” due to smartphones.
Dr. Eli Rosen expounded on the dangers of technology and social media to our youth, “I’m seeing something I’ve never seen before. An epidemic of anxiety in the children… Eleven-year-olds with anorexia…13-year-olds not going to school… And these are kids from beautiful families. These aren’t neglectful parents… And I’m seeing 15-year-olds who are frankly suicidal.. It’s profoundly disturbing.”
He also described the new epidemic of mothers handing their cell phones to crying children in his office instead of soothing them by reading a book or holding them on their lap. “This is the beginning of the disconnect, which is at the root of the epidemic of anxiety and all of its manifestations,” he urged.
Dr. Rosen compared constantly exposing children to technology, starting as early as two years of age, to giving alcohol to a young child which negatively affects a developing brain. Kids should be playing and connecting to the people around them, and not internally preoccupied with worry and sadness and feelings of inadequacy. He finished off by saying that giving our kids smart devices has been a “failed experiment” and that we need to build the momentum of the M.U.S.T. agenda so that children can develop healthily and happily.
Michal Klerer, the original M.U.S.T co-founder, spoke about the success she’s seen in the last four years since starting the organization. She described various types of pacts that can be created in older grades and attributed the program’s success to the united front coming from the parents. She encouraged parents to hold off for as many years as possible before giving their children personally-owned devices because it’s downhill from there.
Rabbi Motty Lipskier encouraged parents to take the reins. He even addressed the children watching the live feed from home stating that we believe in them. Assuring the children that their parents are doing this because we love them and want the best for them. Rabbi Lipskier described how the meraglim told Moshe, “We were like grasshoppers in our eyes, and we were like grasshoppers in their eyes.” When we lack confidence in ourselves, others sense it too. We need to feel confident in our decision to stall and stabilize technology, and our children will feel our confidence and belief in them.
He also described how difficult it is to get a large ship to change course. It takes a lot of organized effort and lots of time but once that turn is made, eventually, it’s smooth sailing. M.U.S.T. in changing the course of the ship. We are changing history for the children we love. It will take time and a whole lot of effort but it will pay off. And not just for our community. In his words, “What happens in Crown Heights does not stay in Crown Heights.” Indeed, we hope this program will take off all over the world!
In order to ensure optimal success of the program and to best organize our efforts, we encourage each school to appoint one or two coordinators to be in touch with M.U.S.T. Crown Heights. We will then gladly help coordinators appoint and train ambassadors for each class in their school. M.U.S.T. pacts should only be introduced by an official M.U.S.T. class ambassador who has participated in a zoom training session.
Please sign up on our website must-ch.org for more information about the first ambassador training session happening late next week. If you have any feedback or questions, you can email [email protected].
With Hashem’s help, we can and we will do this! The safety and wellbeing of our children depends on us.
VIDEO: Full Replay
So, everyone should stop smoking so that your child doesn’t have that peer pressure? Instead of trying to erase that peer pressure, educate your child to stand up to it and do what you think is right.
You are reacting without understanding. You haven’t taken the time to understand what this is about and it’s so easy to emote via the add your comment here. This is about an entire class of parents making a join commitment together to do what they collectively believe is the right thing to do. It’s a pact entered into freely to strengthen the collective. This only works to the extent that every parent buys in and frankly I don’t know where you’re from but in our hood you’d be hard pressed to find a single parent in early elementary who wants… Read more »
I was taught by my mom, just because you are surrounded by rotten tomatoes doesnt give you the okay to become rotten. That stayed with me for life. A few times I was on the way to become “rotten” and then Hashem and the Rebbe saved me, and I fought for staying me. Which by today I’m forever grateful on my life for. But in today’s world it’s impossible to find someone with such a mindset and value.
This is wonderful!! I am a baal teshuva but BH was 16 years old before I had a cell phone (mind you, a brick of a flip phone before smart phones were everywhere) and it was a huge bracha that my parents made me wait. I have a 2 year old and I see how DESPERATE she gets when she wants to watch a video or see a phone. I don’t let her hold my phone and I limit screen time to video chat with family (we have none in this state) and one video once per week on erev… Read more »
Very impressive event!
Thank you Dr. Rosen and rabbi Lipsker!
But I believe in embracing technology.
Those that didn’t understand technology during the pandemic will unfortunately be left behind for years to come
This is about limiting child access to it for recreation. Maybe you were not aware, but the homes here were well equiped with ipads for the purpose of learning remotely. The schools here were at the forefront of creative solutions using technology during the pandemic. So, no, I don’t believe that ‘not understanding technology’ is a problem here- when needed for constructive purposes.
That parents would give up the technology that children are using for constructive purposes.
This is possibly one of the most important discussions I have ever seen, and it is one that also crosses all different cultures and backgrounds, because these handheld digital devices are robbing children of their lives, and I am so proud of all who put this presentation together, because in my opinion this is long overdue.
Thank you again 🙂
Kids deserve a place for social interaction, afterschool classes and music, art, sport activities in a safe environment. We need a Youth Center to be open here in CH.
By taking away something you need to give something instead to all kids to benefit, enjoy, and also affordable for the family.
We have so many parents that are busy with parnosah that a smartphone became a babysitter for our kids. We have also so many philanthropists that might be interested to invest in such project.
I think most Crown heights schools offer after school programs for their children, no? Elementary children have what they can productively do in their school buildings till 6:30pm on a daily basis and sometimes later. If they take advantage of that, there’s isn’t much more time between supper, shower, socializing with family and bedtime…
But little kids are very easily occupied with other stuff. Middle school has a great after school program as well, but High school has no such activities (we had tests, and school programs, but not recreational activities)
This is indeed a very important issue. Children should not be on smart devices.
How about parents set a good example for their kids and get off their own phones??
How about high schools take all their student communication off WhatsApp which needs a smart phone?
How about parents focus on setting limits for their own kids instead of trying to set limits for everyone elses kids?
Every parent is going to do exactly what they would have done, pact or no pact…
Kol ha kavod for this initiative. it will be a tough one, but if there is an arousal from below, surely an arousal from Above will ensure its success. Being a bit of a smartphone addict myself, I recently put an app on my phone, called Locked Out, you pick the times and apps where the phone is locked, and if wish to unlock it during those times, there is a financial penalty ($6). certain emergency apps can remain unblocked while those apps which are addictive can be blocked. Personally, I lock my phone from 10 pm at night to… Read more »
This issue is ONE example of our generations parenting incompetency, with peer pressure putting aside What is actually right
I don’t agree with this. There is no etiquette for using smart phones. Would you take out a book if you were at a meeting for work and start reading it while someone in the room was talking? No. Would you take out your smart phone? Much more likely. We’ve gotten into a rabbit hole and big tech wants us to keep drowning. Their goal is to get us to use these devices as much as possible. It’s financial gain for them. Is there a reason all of big techs kids go to waldorf school where there is a no… Read more »
Time for us too to take a big step back and focus on what’s important.
This is wonderful and so necessary. Any parent who cares should come on board .
A super impressive initiative! Thank you to the fantastic speakers and organizers!
I think parents should let kids have phones and just limit it and filter it as they feel necessary
If they’re successful, it * won’t * go viral because people will give up their tech
It took us Lubavitch chassidim about 10-15 years to catch on to what the rest of the chassidic/charedi world long ago realised – that these tech items are deathly poison for our kids.
Why are we so far behind the others??
Anyway, I suppose better late than never
I’m talking as a 14-year-old girl about to go into high school. I was really intrigued when i saw this on COL, because just a couple of days ago, one of the moms of a girl in my grade posted this on the mothers grade chat, and asked people to join. everyone wrote that they looooooved the idea, but at the end of the day, not one person commited to not getting their child a phone. The facts are, almost 90% of the girls in my grade have a phone and whoever doesn’t have one is getting one before high… Read more »
The phone takes away the interest in being together in person. It creates a nuclear self- you have everything you need at your fingertips including your friends. You will start to notice you want to be with your phone more then your friends. Your phone becomes your comfort- when you wake up it’s the first thing you turn to.
If I could turn back time I would. In fact, I think I might just get rid of it so I can start living my life to my fullest potential, iyh.
Parents also get addicted to their smartphones