Last week saw a group of Shadchanim coming together at the Shidduch House to gain inspiration and to hear practical and helpful advice surrounding the challenges of the shidduch process.
Rabbi Moishe Raitman, ShadchanCOACH, addressed an audience of dedicated shadchanim and responded to the many issues raised in a very real and meaningful way.
It was a round table discussion Q&A style that went on for more than 2 hours. A lot of very important topics were discussed and considered and extremely relevant information was shared.
The shadchanim are a very loyal and integral part of the community. They are really the unsung heroes, giving of themselves selflessly and often without much recognition. It was very gratifying and encouraging to sit together and elaborate on what can come up and how to deal with the many different situations that can arise when working on a shidduch.
Rabbi Raitman began by defining what a shadchan is and why someone would decide to become a shadchan. The ladies shared their passion for helping others and their great desire to see people find their intended one. One thing was very clear, it’s NOT about the money, never was and never will be! There is no compensation for all the time, energy and effort put in to making suggestions and setting people up that don’t result in a Mazal Tov. But it’s all for the cause and they happily commit to it day after day, week after week and stay the course.
Rabbi Raitman gave great chizuk to these women who put in hundreds of hours voluntarily and reminded them about the great Bitachon involved when making Shidduchim.
Some of the other concepts discussed were how it’s extremely helpful when working on a shidduch to be able to speak to the singles themselves as well as the importance of the parents doing their due diligence when it comes to doing research and the sensitivity required when dealing with a medical issue. Rabbi Raitman also reminded everyone that every single person is different and that singles need to be clear on what they really want and be self aware. A crucial question that they need to ask themselves is, “Do I want to get married?” Dating alone won’t get you there, there has to be a strong awareness of and deep desire for it to happen.
Long after the salads and bagels were gone, the discussion continued on, and many important questions were answered.
Also mentioned was better communication between the Shadchan and the single. Whether a shadchan has reached out with an idea and is waiting for a response, or whether the single has been out on a date, it is important that the single then responds in a timely manner so that the shadchan knows how to proceed.
It was very clear to all that the Shadchanim are here to help and genuinely care about the singles. They are really a cornerstone of the community and through making shidduchim are building the community with new couples and families.
The Shidduch House is a warm and welcoming space for Shadchanim to meet with singles, to network with each other and for parents to come and share about their children. The Shidduch House also hosts regular events pertaining to shidduchim, such as Meet the Shadchan and educational evenings for singles and parents. Everyone who has walked through our doors has had the same positive reaction. As expressed by one attendee of our most recent Meet the Shadchan events.
“Thank you to the Shidduch House for the awesome events you are making!
To be honest, I was reluctant to come to your “Meet the Shadchan” event but decided to give it a shot and I’m so glad I did!!!! I met with several wonderful ladies who volunteer their time to try and help everyone they can meet their match. I have to say, I had a much better experience with them than with any Shadchan I met (and paid!) in the past. They took the time to get to know me, asked the right questions without being intrusive and without judging… With genuine smiles and patience, they showed me that there are people who actually care and I left with a feeling that I started to forget existed… HOPE!
So thank you to the Shidduch House and to everyone who volunteers for these new initiatives and for putting your heart into helping us.”
A very grateful “older single” 😉
Singles, when you come in to meet with us, we have a real person, a human in front of us, not a piece of paper. We have the opportunity to connect with you, to get to know you and what you are looking for. We can then much better assist you with suitable suggestions in your search for the right one. When we see your personality and your demeanor we get a much better understanding and feel for who you are. All the profiles of the people we have met are reviewed on a regular basis by our dedicated group of shadchanim who meet weekly to network and make suggestions on your behalf.
The Shidduch House will be hosting its 4th Meet the Shadchan event so that singles have the opportunity to meet with our shadchanim and share about themselves and what they are looking for.
On Tuesday, August 2nd, our shadchanim will be meeting with boys and strongly encourage them to come. They will have the opportunity to meet with 6 different shadchanim one on one for 10 minutes each in a comfortable setting. These events have previously been fully booked with very positive feedback. To make a reservation to meet the shadchanim please email: [email protected].
For further information visit shidduchhouse.com
All the Shidduch events are free of charge. Donations are welcome.