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Sunday, 24 Av, 5779
  |  August 25, 2019
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    Is There Really a “Chabad Lite”

    From the COLlive Inbox: In Lubavitch there is the issue of the so called “Chabad lite” community. People who grew up Lubavitchers, consider themselves Lubavitchers, but do nothing to actually be Lubavitch. Full Story

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    Bravo to the author
    Guest
    Bravo to the author

    Finally someone saying it how it is. How True!

    But the chances of this happening are approx. 0.

    you speak the truth
    Guest
    you speak the truth

    This article has been a long time coming. couldn’t of said it better myself. Don’t expect to be treated like a Lubavitcher if you don’t act like one.

    want war?
    Guest
    want war?

    Then have comments posted. Or, do it the Israeli way and don’t publish comments for this article.

    May be a bit harsh to hear...
    Guest
    May be a bit harsh to hear...

    However it’s the truth.

    The last time I was in CH, I was shocked by some of the things I saw. If you want to do things differently, do things other than HALOCHA then do it in your own community, not in the Rebbe’s name.

    wow, finally!
    Guest
    wow, finally!

    Someone with the guts to say it as it is!
    Living in Crown Heights, the things that I’ve seen lately in my own neighborhood have been SHOCKING to say the least.
    The tzinus issue is completely out of control!
    I dont want my pre-teen daughter going anywhere, because I am afraid of what she will begin to think is ok for a Lubavitch girl.
    My question is why do the rest of us have to live this way and deal with this???

    To 3
    Guest
    To 3

    And why is that? So people cant say the truth, that they are completely fed up with this situation?
    Its about time that those who want change and want back our communities should have a say…

    Very True
    Guest
    Very True

    Very True

    thanks
    Guest
    thanks

    this should have ben put out a long time a go it disgusts me to see shuls being opened up with the express purpose of making it acceptable to wear a (stylish ) capota shave your beard blatantly disregard tsnius and still feel connected and important because you have $$$

    My thoughts
    Guest
    My thoughts

    Yes, what you’re saying is true. But your final statement is very harsh, and I don’t believe it will make a difference. I personally, am more concerned about the “name” such people give Lubavitch. We are quite easy to spot, and when other Yidden see a Lubavitcher dressed inappropriately, they make generalizations about Lubavitch and our standards. Obviously, considering that I am as yet to be married and have children of my own the issue of classmates on standards that are not what Lubavitch should be does not apply to me. But do we really think that pushing these people… Read more »

    Painful to read but extremely accurate!!!
    Guest
    Painful to read but extremely accurate!!!

    Yes, I 100% agree with the writer. I, too, am from Los Angeles, and I know exactly what the writer is talking about. Here at the Chabad cheder, I see mothers who pick up their children wearing (very) short skirts, tight skirts with high slits, and tops that no where near cover the collar bone. I see it more and more…there are shuls which are considered Chabad where there is almost no standard of tznius dress — or the husband wears a kapote on Shabbos and the wife barely covers her hair and dresses very inappropriately. My children also come… Read more »

    In response to 4
    Guest
    In response to 4

    We can’t restrict people from living in Crown Heights. What you mean by the Rebbe’s name is beyond me. But they can be restricted from going to schools with certain standards. Sadly, all problems don’t necessarily have complete solutions, this one doesn’t have the perfect remedy. Schools would be a nice starting point. But this Satmar like rhetoric of get out of the community etc, baffles the mind, it is equally not “in the Rebbe’s name”. And sadly i Don’t think people attempt to deal with issues instead they ridicule, denigrate, in a most nonconstructive form and manner, if it… Read more »

    agree
    Guest
    agree

    I agree 100%!!!!!

    Well written
    Guest
    Well written

    Thank-you for publishing!

    Say what you want...
    Guest
    Say what you want...

    The author has many great points – that are probably all true – but nothing will change. ‘Chabad Lite’ doesn’t care what you think or what you say. If they did, they wouldn’t be acting how they act. They care about doing what’s comfortable for them. They aren’t purposely trying to ruin a school or a community. Why don’t they send to different schools? Because their friends and family send to these schools. Why don’t they move out of the community? Because they grew up in the community and their friends and family live in the community. Why don’t they… Read more »

    What is there to do about it???
    Guest
    What is there to do about it???

    any one?

    Thank you !!!!
    Guest
    Thank you !!!!

    100% correct. How sad that I will never take my kids to crown heights b/c chas vesholom they should think that such pritzus is an option for a chossid

    mom of kids
    Guest
    mom of kids

    I agree with this completely. And I believe the SOLUTION LIES WITH THE SCHOOLS. If the local schools will not accept kids from families that do not adhere to the BASICS – ie basic tzinus, covering hair, knees, colar bones, etc father wears kapota on shabbos – then at least the children will be protected. Those that dont want to be inconvenienced to take their kids to schools out of the neighborhood will have to shape up. Those that dont want to change can send their kids to other schools. I personally dont get why it wasnt done before. Other… Read more »

    קשה לי להגיב באנגלית ועל כן אכתוב בעברית.
    Guest
    קשה לי להגיב באנגלית ועל כן אכתוב בעברית.

    כל הכבוד על המאמר הזה. בעיני נושא הצניעות יכול להשתפר אך ורק על ידי הבתי ספר בלבד!ברגע שהבתי ספר לא יקבלו ילדים וילדות ממשפחות שהאמא לובשת לא צנוע והאבא נוגע בזקן יהיה סוף לדבר! לא יתכן שבלובאוויטש ישיבה ובאהלי תורה ,בית רבקה יהיו אמהות שיגיעו בלי גרביים,שורוול קצר ,חשוף או עם מטפחת. למה אני כהורה שרוצה לשמור על צניעות עיני אמור להיחשף למה שהולך פה ברחוב?ל נשים מתלבשות כמו גויות(כן!) ולמה ילדיי אמורים לשאול”למה היא לובשת כך וכך או למה אין לו זקן”? אנו שכונה של הרבי!האם לפני ג’ תמוז היה למישהו את העוז והחוצפה להסתובב כך?אז מה יש לכם… Read more »

    to #9
    Guest
    to #9

    Firstly-Harchaik mishachain ra.
    I’m sorry, but they only struggle b/c such a lifestyle is an option for them. If it’s not even an option then there is no struggle

    children do what their parents do...
    Guest
    children do what their parents do...

    well written and totally agree my children are now 3 1/2 and 1 1/2, so it’s not so hard now to teach them right from wrong and shelter them- but i know as time goes on i will have to work harder and harder… you mentioned in the article about agreeing to have no tv in the home when registering your child. i live in CH every parent who sends their child to OT has to sign such a from as part of the registration packet!!! BR urges their partents to dress appropriately when dropping off their child no tichels!!!!… Read more »

    an english view
    Guest
    an english view

    Sadly we have the same syndrome over the pond and I agree with everything the writer has written. I heard about what goes on in the Lubavitch community in NY but on my visits there I never understood what people were complaining about as I couldn`t recognize these so called lubavitch lite, I actually thought they were goyim ! sadly I have learnt the truth but do not know the answer.

    Disagree
    Guest
    Disagree

    Your Ahavas Yisroel should lead to an alternate solution. Namely creating Mosdos that cater to these members of the community – essentially a Chabad House for Chabad “Lite” community.

    That would have to effects

    1) It would work with these Chabad Lite members to strengthen their commitment

    2) Allow you to differentiate them from regular chabadniks. So when your child asks why does Chani’s mommy wear short skirts and sleeves, etc you can explain that indeed they are different. Some people are Modern Orthodox, Sefardi, etc. Chani’s family is Chabad Lite.

    Lable are for clothing
    Guest
    Lable are for clothing

    I”m sorry I couldn’t read through all the words there but I believe I got the point from the first few paragraphs (now I read the end, sorry but you didn’t anticipate my resposnse so maybe you’ve never heard it so here) A)Don’t we, chabad say that there are no such thing as labels for Judaism B) I don’t know anyone who calls themselves chabad lite, it’s those who think that only they are perfect who call the others “chabad lite” C) The real answer to your question is that since in Yeshivas and schools lubavichers are taught that unless… Read more »

    spellcheck
    Guest
    spellcheck

    WAS THIS ARTICLE EDITED AT ALL BEFORE BEING PUBLISHED IF THIS WEBSITES WANTS THIS ARTICLE TO BE TAKEN seriously they should at least take care of simple spelling mistakes i think it reflects on the content written quickly and carelessly the author does have reason to be upset and that behavior is unnacceptable but he/she is not in the position to define them as not lubavitch and the solution is unrealistic and offensive

    to #14
    Guest
    to #14

    well said.
    I think this article is very good.
    to answer why we dont have such rules in chabad schools… this is because all the ‘chabad-lite’ people are funding the schools. When we stop depending on the money of the ‘chabad-lite’ people real changes can be made.
    we need chassidishe business men that live with the times not stay cooped up in kollel all day waiting for shlichus.

    Real STANDARDS in Writing
    Guest
    Real STANDARDS in Writing

    It’s very possible that the beginning of the downhill slide in Tznius began as a few “fringe” teenagers who were ‘testing the waters’. Perhaps they innocently either do not know or care what the exact guidelines in Shulchan Aruch are. More recently, hundreds of girls walk around looking the same because everyone else is doing it (wearing scoop necks, bare feet and flip-flops, etc…) and nothing is happening to them. Therefore, ‘it must not be wrong’. A beautiful brochure was printed by the Chinuch Office and schools were supposed to given out in all Chabad High Schools. The cover has… Read more »

    Hypocrisy
    Guest
    Hypocrisy

    I think it is both ludicrous and bigoted to make the claims you are making in this article. 50 years ago, if a bochur had a drivers licence or didn’t button his jacket while davening, he was considered “not chassidish”. Now, these things are the norm. The fact of the matter is, Lubavitch will inevitably diverge into two groups: 1) Chabad lite 2) Sfatim ans slowly your kind will die out. It may take 50 or 75 years, but it will happen. The whole Lubavitcher system is failing. There are years of waiting for shlichus, and soon there will be… Read more »

    Difficult times
    Guest
    Difficult times

    In these very difficult times before Moshiach, I believe that one must be non judge mental.The Rebbe gives an example that if one limb is weak then by strengthening the rest of the body will bring a healing to that limb.If you strengthen yourself and speak and behave with others with respect and tolerance, you will be able to make a change othersise you will be pushing these people completley off the derech.

    Solution
    Guest
    Solution

    Very well written (besides for the spelling mistakes). I could not agree more. You are saying the exact same things that I have been saying for a long time.
    The answer is for them to make their own communities and schools. And the schools should not allow these families in our schools. I have heard people say, just face it this is chabad today! Well its wrong and I think that people have to make it clear that this is NOT Lubavitch. They should call themselves “Friends of Lubavitch” or if anything just “Modern Orthodox”.

    #27
    Guest
    #27

    Stirring the pot, your only motivation. Try To be less transparent in the future.

    are you sure your a lubavitcher?
    Guest
    are you sure your a lubavitcher?

    I don’t disagree that what you are saying is true. It is not OK. But Chabad- Lubavitch is about welcoming everyone, in every situation. This includes people out of Lubavitch and people in it. If you are so worried what to tell your children, tell them that every family keeps different traditions and this is what our family keeps. If you can’t get your kids to listen to you, that’s a whole different problem. My neighbors, in CH look chassidish but in fact they are not. They are Lubavitcher like you and me. When their father came to Chabad the… Read more »

    ONLY ONE DISAGREEMENT WITH THE ARTICLE
    Guest
    ONLY ONE DISAGREEMENT WITH THE ARTICLE

    you wrote that they were raised chabad… in point of fact, nobody TRULY RAISED CHABAD ever leaves it… 99% of people who think they were raised with authentic chabad teachings, were in fact raised in a SYSTEM that hardly IMPLEMENTS actual chabad values!! point worth repeating for emphasis: …”a SYSTEM that hardly IMPLEMENTS actual chabad values!!…” if it were the real thing it would NOT turn off its students!! the SCHOOL SYSTEM in general does not follow the teachings & principles of CHASIDUS CHABAD, just to list a few examples: 1) Are teachers hired based on merit??? 2) Are all… Read more »

    tznius patrol
    Guest
    tznius patrol

    Everyone knows that the tznius issue in chabad is out of control. where is the pikuach?? every father has an achrayus, and the schools have an achrayus to teach and promote tznius. it gives chabad a bad reputation + chilul Hashem!

    UGLY
    Guest
    UGLY

    I’ve lived in CH all my life, was born here and raised children and granchildren here, and let me tell you this: I”M LEAVING! The Yiddishkeit I grew up with (with the likes of Yankel Hecht, o’h) was about much more than length of skirt or sleeve! We grew up learning about being HONEST (yeah, ever hear that expression before??) Yes, HONESTY as HALACHA! So you who are preaching HALACHA, should know that there are a few other halochos in the Torah. I cannot any longer stomach the vitriol, the self-righteous holier-than-thou, get-out-of-my-neighborhood hatred! You sound no different from haters… Read more »

    Exactly My thoughts!
    Guest
    Exactly My thoughts!

    BS”D Wao!! This article almost reflects my last years experience! About a year ago, I moved to a certain state, known to be Chabad-Style. I on the other side am not a lubavitcher from birth, but have learned to be with very very chassidische bochurim out of the states. So for years I even told my litvisher friends that “It’s impossible that a lubavitcher will do such an unchassidishe (whatever it is) thing!”. Wam! big hit landing on here when i saw INTERESTING CAPOTAS, TRIMMED BEARDS AND OPENED CHEST SHIRTS. my world came to an end and everything that i… Read more »

    WOW #32 I AGREEEEE!
    Guest
    WOW #32 I AGREEEEE!
    #32
    Guest
    #32

    you make a very valid point

    ty

    i like 32's main point
    Guest
    i like 32's main point

    99% of people who think they were raised with authentic chabad teachings, were in fact raised in a SYSTEM that hardly IMPLEMENTS actual chabad values!!

    young people NEVER LEAVE “AUTHENTIC” JUDAISM… they get turned off by the LACK OF REAL JUDAISM!!

    lite
    Guest
    lite

    I desagree completly with the article
    I prefer my kids to be in contact with kids whose families hold a lower standard but whose parents are real menchs,good heart ,honest and senceres, than some of the called “so holy,that they use “the REbbe” as a backup for all their avlos in politics,cheats,and fights,and some treating the wives as a garbage can
    I see that many looking kind of modern actually have more connection with the Rebbe than the many loshon aradike holiers

    They are escaping falsehood!
    Guest
    They are escaping falsehood!

    true chasidishkeit = serenity, beauty & joy,

    these young people are being raised by people who claim to be chabad, but do they really live it? thats the real question!

    great article!
    Guest
    great article!

    expresses my thoughts exactly!
    ESPECIALLY when schools are limited with space- they should make a criteria that this is for LUBAVITCHERS- not for anyone who happens to live in crown heights, or whose parents are lubavitch- its not an inheritance its a way of life that determines whether u are chabad or not.
    #34, this is a lubavitch community- so if you dont act lubavitch why do you live here in the first place? just wondering

    true article
    Guest
    true article

    about the time before moshiacjh comes it says:

    YISBARERU VEYISLABNU… all peoples true colors will become known who is actually chasid nd who’s not

    yup #32 is correct
    Guest
    yup #32 is correct
    Root problem
    Guest
    Root problem

    This is your community. These ARE your friends, families, who YOU brought made frum and brought in to the shechuna, so they ARE your responsibility. The question that must be asked is why the situation is like it is. And before judging ‘Others’ as being ‘Others’ (An attitude totally unaccepted in Lubavitch until recently) ask yourself what you have done to help others. Not just by criticising but doing. Calling that neighbour and asking her how she is doing etc. Caring not critiszising. And like 23 says not making every self invented ‘Chasidish’ fab in to chasidishkeit and forgetting what… Read more »

    its a pity on them
    Guest
    its a pity on them

    dont judge them, they surely dont know better!

    What a dysfunctional Article. Clearly you were raised in a ghetto.
    Guest
    What a dysfunctional Article. Clearly you were raised in a ghetto.

    This article is really messed up. And sick.

    Really don’t think it should have been printed. This is turning into a very cultish mentality.

    Right ON
    Guest
    Right ON

    #46 couldn’t agree more

    #39 propaganda = you make a FALSE dichotomy!
    Guest
    #39 propaganda = you make a FALSE dichotomy!

    TRUE CHASIDUS = WORKING ON YOURSELF, YOUR MIDDOS, TO IMPROVE YOUR ROUGH EDGES, TO BE A KINDER, MORE PATIENT, LESS JUDGMENTAL HUMAN BEING.

    PLEASE DONT IMPLY THAT BEING REFINED & MENTCHLICH IS NOT ESSENTIAL TO TRUE CHASIDUS

    DONT TRY TO ATTACK TRUE CHASIDUS, BY POINTING TO FAKERS, WHO ARE SLOBS, AND DO (ALMOST) NOTHING IN LINE WITH REAL CHASIDIC TEACHINGS

    New-bavitchers
    Guest
    New-bavitchers

    Although I have lots of friends who are new-bavitchers, and some are great people, I agree with lots of your article. But you sound too much like the taliban and a religious extremist. A bit scary for me.

    SOO TRUE! SOO SIMPLE! (must be reposted)
    Guest
    SOO TRUE! SOO SIMPLE! (must be reposted)

    ONLY ONE DISAGREEMENT WITH THE ARTICLE you wrote that they were raised chabad… in point of fact, nobody TRULY RAISED CHABAD ever leaves it… 99% of people who think they were raised with authentic chabad teachings, were in fact raised in a SYSTEM that hardly IMPLEMENTS actual chabad values!! point worth repeating for emphasis: …”a SYSTEM that hardly IMPLEMENTS actual chabad values!!…” if it were the real thing it would NOT turn off its students!! the SCHOOL SYSTEM in general does not follow the teachings & principles of CHASIDUS CHABAD, just to list a few examples: 1) Are teachers hired… Read more »

    the reason for it isn't so obvious or simple
    Guest
    the reason for it isn't so obvious or simple

    My son does a lot of youth work with kids who are marginally frum. There is no one reason for their choice other than that they are angry with Hashem. Some of them have had difficult life experiences and that translated into not wanting to do mitzvahs for the G-d that did not give them an easy life. In some circumstances, their parents or teachers were at fault but in some circumstances, G-d given events caused the downfall and it was not due to human error, other than the teen’s perception of Hashem and His doings. Therefore, it is hard… Read more »

    i agree 100% +
    Guest
    i agree 100% +

    Ok so I am sooo happy to see that other ppl think like me.I am only 17 but this always nagged at me. But I ha something to add.
    Many ppl saytht bec the comuniy is dresing inapropriatly, they wont go there cu thyre scared fr their children.we’ll I can understand that but in a way I feel that its important that they do go there because they cn be the role models for the rest of the comunity…u never know who will be amazed and regret what they r doing….

    #48
    Guest
    #48

    agree with your sentiment

    too many folks, try to justify not doing the right thing bec of “SLOBS” who claim to be chasidish!

    this excuse, is very fraudulent, bec a true chosid wont be dissuaded by fakers & charlotons

    you would never say, “i wont take Tylonol because some slob claims to support Tylenol”

    that reasoning is irrational!

    g-d expects us to seek the truth, not lame excuses!

    pittsburgh
    Guest
    pittsburgh

    Al of u true lubavitchers should just move down to pittsburgh where the schol is on high standards and the comunity is chassidish.but,if u are a mishichist and wont keep it to urself,then that just might not be ideal!

    ????
    Guest
    ????

    I think the reason they allow ppl. into the schools w/t the letter is because of all the mekuravim that come and would’nt send their kids to chabad if they had to get rid of the tv and would’nt feel accepted by chabad which is against the chabad “theology.”

    In other words I think becaus of this Chabas is stuck between a rock and a hard place.

    32 is correct
    Guest
    32 is correct
    To # 31
    Guest
    To # 31

    “…..in CH look chassidish but in fact they are not, They are Lubavitcher like you or me…..” 1. Since when is Lubavitch NOT chassidish???? 2. Obviously your neighbors wear a different Tzneusdik levush, not what we are discussing, namely Un-Tzneusdik clothing. Obviously the problem in CH is that there is no leadership, no Rabbonim that are universally accepted, therefore no respect. I live in a city where the whole Charedi/Litvish/Chassidish community have respect for the Moreh D’asrah, even though he might not be your “stripe”. Out of respect for him, people do not walk around Un-Tzneos, even if they would… Read more »

    The issue is much deeper than that
    Guest
    The issue is much deeper than that

    Your daughters are going to see that living in NY and going out i the world why dont you teach them right from wrong and how to be strong and resist their yetzer . You cant keep them in a bubble forver you know. I find that the reason these FFB’s go down in the first placed is because they were squeezed by their parents and told DO NOT do this DO NOT do that but not why or how to deal with it. YOu have to infused the passion that you have for yiddishkeit into your kids. When you… Read more »

    very offensive
    Guest
    very offensive

    this kind of article does not deserve this kind of attention

    guilt vs. standards
    Guest
    guilt vs. standards

    One of the fundamental issues with communities such as CH is that there is a tremendous level of guilt. People feel guilty for not holding onto what their teachers and parents told them to do when they were young. At the same time this environment is a safe haven for many people who grew up in the ‘system’. It is home for them. Therefore you have to understand where people are coming from. It is not easy to be a Tzadik yet alone a Bainoni and people are always trying to find what standard works for them. Do you honestly… Read more »

     when your daughter comes home from school
    Guest
    when your daughter comes home from school

    “Now what happens when your daughter comes home from school wondering why her friend doesn’t dress the way her teacher taught? Why her friend’s Mommy doesn’t cover her hair and wears skirts that are way too short? Don’t kid yourselves, these questions are being asked! It used to be that when questions like that were asked, a parent was able to answer their child that their friend was part of a different community, more modern, not Chabad, etc. Nowadays, that distinction is gone! These are our friends and neighbors! These are our children’s classmates! The way it influences the children… Read more »

    If I don't keep the Torah, does that mean i'm NOT jewish?
    Guest
    If I don't keep the Torah, does that mean i'm NOT jewish?

    Heck no! It means that i’m a NON Observant Jew.
    Can I be counted in a minyan, YES! Ask every Shliach.

    Please take your hatred and selfishness off the internet, PRONTO!

    You’re probably just some loser who never made it in life and are just looking to knock others…

    Chinuch starts in YOUR home.
    Set a good example and I bet you that nothing outside will influence.

    Good Luck with your life man!

    Agree 100%
    Guest
    Agree 100%

    Absolutely true. However, to shut these pple out of our lives is not an option. they are our family-brothers, sisters cousins and friends. So thats not happening. But we can try aand bring them closer to he real ways if lubavitch (whatever that means?). Yes, they should not be considered luvatich until they accept on themselves th ways of lubavitch. Nowadays, many pple act this way not so much by consciuos choice, but out of ignorance and everone-else-is-doing-it-so-it-must-be-ok. Because so many pple act this way today, to many pple it simply does not seem wrong and they cant understand the… Read more »

    #62
    Guest
    #62

    ur a tinok shenishba

    SO IT HAS COME TO THIS??
    Guest
    SO IT HAS COME TO THIS??

    i have noticed that in crown heights and every other u.s. community where there are young lubavitchers, they may have given up every vestige of frumkeit, forget chassidishkeit…but when it comes to minhagim, a place to daven, a school for your children…THEY ALL COME BACK TO CHABAD..
    Would the writer of this article deny them even that? How can you not WANT to reach out to their small,innocent, children and say welcome back….

    YOU ARE WRITING THEM OFF COMPLETELY AND IN THE REBBE’S NAME YET..

    SHAME ON YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS FORUM THAT AGREES WITH HER.

    Are we one family?
    Guest
    Are we one family?

    If it was your child who turned out to be “Chabad Lite”, would you want them to be cast away? We are one family. I tell my children that it is not our place to judge another Yid’s conduct. We B”H have a Shulchan Oruch to guide us and don’t have to be influenced by other people. Maybe strengthen your kids that through having good middos they can set an example to their classmates who come from weaker homes. I have seen, here in Pittsburgh, people who were “Chabad Lite” change and become much frumer. I was one of those.… Read more »

    Go #34 and #39
    Guest
    Go #34 and #39

    agree

    No leadership = No direction
    Guest
    No leadership = No direction

    I’ve found myself agreeing with #32. It is simple. Within Lubavitch, the divide has grown incredibly. There are the elderly Lubavitchers who march on to the drumbeat of the Rebbeim, the Tzfatim and nutballs who run around making Chillulim Lubavitch, and a third camp emerging from the disaffected and dismayed youth who you have dubbed “Chabad-Lite”. When I spent Tishrei in New York, it was very abundantly clear just how problematic it was. I was putting on tefillin upstairs when some self-righteous stranger declared that he needed a minyan for shacharit in the shul where a bunch of bochurim were… Read more »

    agree with this article TOTALLY
    Guest
    agree with this article TOTALLY

    its unfair to label yourself as chabad when you dont look it, or act it, why do ppl do this anyhow?

    Anonymous
    Guest
    Anonymous

    Thank you for writing this! This is something that needs to be said. The one issue I have is where you say they should separate and form their own school etc. Don’t u think that will further distance them from Lubavitch. It’s sad enough to see what is going on out there. By creating their own Shul and school they are validating their view and continuing to live that way because nobody is stopping them. We in Lubavitch never push anyone away. The Rebbes derech was only bringing people close. There needs to be a different way to change this… Read more »

    Oy Vey
    Guest
    Oy Vey

    Wow, what a chillul hashem. The Rebbe would be ashamed of anyone trying to drive a wedge between Chabad and anyone affiliating with Chabad. If you are bothered by such people, go out of your way and try to teach them about your minhagim and the proper ways of doing things. But the Rebbe would never countenance someone taking it upon themselves to divide up their neighbors. How humiliating that such a thing could be published by someone ostensibly Chabad. You know who is Chabad-lite? The author of this post. Do a little mivtzoim.

    almost all of chabad today is chabad lite
    Guest
    almost all of chabad today is chabad lite

    it is a result of all of the unchecked kiruv that we did with no thoughts of the consequences of our misguisedness. some of the bts influenced and corrupted us more than we influenced them.

    the point is
    Guest
    the point is

    there should be special schools nd shuls especially for those who are not frum lubavs

    so that their children dont corrupt the puritanical children who are still being raised by old school chassidic parents

    Really??
    Guest
    Really??

    this is so immature of you guys.. o my gosh they wear jeans and pink shirts..they dont wear a hat and jacket on t he street…no way HOW COULD THEY?? Grow up you guys chabad is about being chabad in heart doing good deeds learning the rebbes teachings but we dont have to wear a white shirt to prove that.. the truth is some chabad people have to get a little out of their Crown Heights box and look at the world in a new way of good and kindness these so cold Lubavitchers you talk..i bet you they are… Read more »

    old timer
    Guest
    old timer

    Agree 100% with the author. stop blaming the schools. And yes, there is free choice but there are also standards. If someone decides to walk around naked (his free choice) he will be arrested. So please move to a nudist colony. if you want to act in a non frum lubavitch way move to that type of community and leave us alone

    discussion is good!
    Guest
    discussion is good!

    glad all sides get to share & exchange diversity of ideas!

    the truth will always be Crystalized at the end

    thr authentic chabad vs the Fakers vs the Non-committed

    not a new problem
    Guest
    not a new problem

    There were always “Chabad lite” in Crown Heights, and the Rebbe never took the approach of alienating them. Now it happens that there are much more chasidim so you have much more “Chabad lite.” Of course if they were mentshlich they would not flaunt the laws in public, but from our side we have to approach it with ahavas yisroel and chas v’shalom to distance. Rules at the schools is not a bad idea but the main thing is to know that they are just as Chabad as you and maybe more. You know not what goes in the heart… Read more »

    #50 is 100% on the money!!!!!!
    Guest
    #50 is 100% on the money!!!!!!
    home school your kids
    Guest
    home school your kids

    best solution: home school your kids! Nowadays most school systems are sadly lacking in many areas and kids are turning out without the proper yiras Shomayim and hashkofas..so instead of trying to push away parents who are themselves confused, just take your kids out of that system and create a better system. Maybe if enough parents do that, things will change for the better….

    Miami takes the cake!
    Guest
    Miami takes the cake!

    We have the same problem here! My husband got a wonderful job working in what is now the “Hippest” place for a lubavitcher to live FL, we had lived there very happily, we were part of a Chabad House being a Dugmeh Chaya and helping out as much as we can and it was truly lovely but a of around five years ago a mass migration of 100% born from birth “Chabad Lubavitchers” started moving into this community and t has gotten so bad for our children that we HAD TO move, the vast majority of these “Lubavitchers” don’t sport… Read more »

    Fellow LA girl!
    Guest
    Fellow LA girl!

    I think I want to vomit, Annonymous. Really that you have time to write this. You should be spending your time with mivtzayim. Go find some other fringe group to bag on. We don’t care for your opinion.
    Thank you, An Ex-Lubavitcher who still passes down some of the Rebbe’s lovely traditions to my kids.

    P.S.You extreme Lubavitchers are all a bunch of whackos! You completely miss the point of what the Rebbe tried to instill in us Jews. Ahavat Yisroel.

    this article is indeed very kind!!!!!!!!! cause it seeks to stop TRAGEDY!!!
    Guest
    this article is indeed very kind!!!!!!!!! cause it seeks to stop TRAGEDY!!!

    1. Its true that the very fabric of authentic chasidic culture is under attack from the inside (non-committed-types) by the blending & blurring between the Committed vs the Non-committed (committed to follow the Rebbe’s clear teachings) the question is WHATS REALLY AT STEAK?? answer: OUR VERY SURVIVAL! according to our Rebbe, many of our tragedies can be linked to LOOSING HASHEM’S PROTECTION via public violation of Tznius so allowing our children to be exposed to this plague as if its “normal & acceptable” & even somehow chabad this teaches our youth that you can be chabad even while violating tznius!… Read more »

    Wrong Argument
    Guest
    Wrong Argument

    You can’t close out the world, and the Rebbe said he would call anybody who commits to doing one more mitzvah each day his chosid. Strengthen your own family and don’t blame the schools or the kids on the street.

    to #27
    Guest
    to #27

    I pity u!! u have no idea what it means to be a lubavitcher chossid!

    Yaakov Shallman
    Guest
    Yaakov Shallman

    In your conclusion you write that “Ahavas yisroel has nothing to do with agreeing with others’ way of life”. Frankly, living with members of YOUR ” lubavitch lite” community does not mean that you are agreeing to their way of life or anyone else’s for that matter. It means you are living amongst others with whom you share many of the same values and beliefs. What better way to demonstrate to your kids that you stand for good values by building their confidence in how you live and the joy and values of being a lubavitcher. You conclude that they… Read more »

    The Real Joe
    Guest
    The Real Joe

    I think the REBBE’S answer to this problem would be to scream WE NEED MOSHIACH the fact is we are in galus and certain things won’t be right I agree mostly with the article however kicking kids from these homes out of the schools isn’t fair I have more then one friend from a modern home who is very chasidish if he would have been sent out of school I don’t think he would have turned out like that?

    Dear anonymous author
    Guest
    Dear anonymous author

    Can it be that there is somebody that is a little more careful with tznius than yourself? Is it possible that somebody shelters their kids from outside influences more effectively than yourself? Perhaps they consider YOU to be “Lubavitch lite”! Where did you get the authority to include or exclude anybody from Lubavitch? Your article is offensive. You have good intentions but you come across with the wrong attitude. and trust me I want to hold the same standard as you.

    print up and post in every chabad shul
    Guest
    print up and post in every chabad shul

    we need to print up this article and display in all the chabad shuls and make the decision which direction the shul needs to go. Then open a chabad house across the street for the frummer anash, this will make a big different.

    kids from good homes learn from those who are less committed
    Guest
    kids from good homes learn from those who are less committed

    the danger is the kids dont differentiate between the various levels & learn from all levels as “normal”

    The Lubavitcher Rebbe said:
    Guest
    The Lubavitcher Rebbe said:

    “there is a positive commandment of the Torah to love each and every Jew and avoid divisiveness to the extreme”

    sorry to disagree...
    Guest
    sorry to disagree...

    i think what your saying is very offensive and shows on your outlook of other people and seems to be a pretty negative one. everybody has the right to have a challenge, some people cope better and some worse, if you are one of those who is very ” chasidish”, then good for you, but on the other hand, there are people out there who are struggling and you have no right to judge…

    always "collive inbox" has the most controversial articles
    Guest
    always "collive inbox" has the most controversial articles

    and most comments

    Fellow LA girl!
    Guest
    Fellow LA girl!

    Can someone please tell me if the Rebbe’s intention was to neglect the children within Lubavitch?

    This neglect happened to many Lubavitch-Lighters. Their parents were too busy with Lubavitch religion and mivtzyim to give care to them.

    How about we try something different? Let’s take care of our own, our fellow Lubavitchers. Let’s not do like the last generation and throw them out.

    Disappointed with COLLIVE!
    Guest
    Disappointed with COLLIVE!

    Im a regular reader of collive, but Im greatly disappointed in your publishing such a letter, and annonomous to boot!Years ago ,there was a bachur, a talmid of our Yeshiva Tomch. Tmmi, who strayed from the path, while he was in Yeshiva and the Rebbe was ‘m’karev’ him in anopen visible manner. To read such a letter from our people against these chilren who today go to shul and want to remain attached to the center of Chassidic life is heart breaking. These same young men and women could easily move away from Crown Hts. and live elsewhere, yet the… Read more »

    It's easier to destroy than to build
    Guest
    It's easier to destroy than to build

    Do you think that your children are going to grow up the way you want if you ostracize others? Go learn from our Rebbeim – point out the positive in others (and there is positive to be found!) – create programs that foster learning, good middos, mivtzoim, etc.- teach yuour children that everyone has challenges to overcome, and that they are responsible for their own behaviour.

    Bravo THANKS FOR THIS ARTICLE
    Guest
    Bravo THANKS FOR THIS ARTICLE

    Thank you for writing this article!!! I too live in la and wish I knew who u are! Because I feel like im alone! Are there enought pple here in la, that feel like u and me. I’m really scared for my children. How will i keep them frum! What can we do in our community that can positively influence others?! Someone please help!!

    Fellow LA girl!
    Guest
    Fellow LA girl!

    Anonymous, the real question is, how can we prevent your dysfunction from being passed down to the our next generation!

    whoever is offended by this article...
    Guest
    whoever is offended by this article...

    instead of being all defensive why not be open-minded & see what valid points you can derive from it!

    im not farfumt my self, im just open-minded (i hope)

    I thought we are different
    Guest
    I thought we are different

    Stereotyping like the rest of the world. Parents are suppose to
    lead by example. all I see from these articles are how people know how to point out the negative.

    stop the hostility & bitterness against this sensible article
    Guest
    stop the hostility & bitterness against this sensible article

    its ok to disagree agreeably

    Don't do what I do , do what I say...............
    Guest
    Don't do what I do , do what I say...............

    Growing up you’re told you should behave in a modest and respectful manner, be careful with others feelings – ahavas yisroel is stressed strongly, Respect to parents and educators and adults is paramount, etc…. Yet as time goes by those same adults that instructed us , left us in confusion as we observe behavior from them that they ” educated us in ” ” Don’t do as I do , Do as I say” How can we expect anyone to follow what’s right when it’s not being followed by those who are teaching and instructing us? How can we not… Read more »

    #32 is sooo on point
    Guest
    #32 is sooo on point

    thanks for echoing my sentiment

    To #97
    Guest
    To #97

    By sticking your head in the sand….or by moving to the remote hills of Montana. Good luck and thanx for leaving.

    @ 97
    Guest
    @ 97

    The real question is; with values like YOURS will you HAVE anything to pass on the the next generation?

    Lubavitch has become an Eidah
    Guest
    Lubavitch has become an Eidah

    It is no longer just a Chasidus, we better get used to it. I tell my children that there are Lubavitchers and Lubavitcher Chassidim. A Lubavitcher is one who Davens our Nusach and follows some or all of our minhagim. A Lubavitcher chassid is one who learns and davens, behaves like a chassid should and adheres to the Rebbe’s horaohs etc. I have to define the difference between the other Eidayos and ours, anyway, so whats the difference. Aderabah, sometimes it is helpful to be able to show a child how not to be. If the author is truly a… Read more »

    to 61
    Guest
    to 61

    I LUV UR ANSWER. THANX, I WAS ALSO LOOKING FOR A WAY TOO ANSWER MY CHILDRENS QUESTION.

    Totally disagree!
    Guest
    Totally disagree!

    With all due respect to the writer of this article and to all the cult-like adulating responses, if you go with the pronciple you set out, that a Lubavitcher is defined by the Rebbe’s standards (and not Boro Park or Williamsburgh or Meah Sheorim) — than the definition of a Lubavitcher is someone who is dedicated totally to being a shliach of the Rebbe in spreading Yiddishkeit and yefutuzu mayaaonosech chutzah. Not someone who is in business or in any other way simply taking care of his/her own needs. But someone whose primary activity and parnosso is in fulfilling the… Read more »

    SOME VALID POINTS
    Guest
    SOME VALID POINTS

    The beginning of the article starts out well. But the decision to shun and alienate pple is not the answer. Yes there r a lot of pple doig the wrong things…. However we need to find a way to influence them in the right way not push them away! And as parents we definitely need to walk the walk and live by example! Because children will usually live by example and be at he level of their parents… Sometimes they wont even be able to reach their parents level…. So, we as parents need to be careful. Because OUR CHILDREN… Read more »

    Anonymous exposed
    Guest
    Anonymous exposed

    >>My question to you is, if someone buys a pair of military fatigues from the clothing store, is he a special ops soldier? What if he claims he is, saying, “Look, I even have the clothes.” You would laugh at him.<< Exactly right Mr. Anonymous author of this article: Just because you wear tzniusdike clothes and eat kosher doesn't mean you are a tzniusdike and a kosher person! Just by wearing Chabad garments you don;t become Chabad. Either everyone is Chabad (no matter what they look like), or Chabad is someone whop lives up to the Rebbe's requests -- to serve as his emissary to spread yiddishkeit and Chassidus. If Mr. Anonymous is the frumste person in the world, dressed impeccably according to halacha and more, if he does not follow the Rebbe's directive to be a shliach -- he is not Chabad, just dressed like one. Its called camouflage.

    Chabad what?
    Guest
    Chabad what?

    1. I know plenty of grandchildren from the “elter chasidim/ and shluchim” who are either indifferent to religion or anti-religion (one who even tries out a church once in a while). All the people who agree 100% percent what would you do if it was your own? 2. Before we try to segregate out all of the “chabad lite’ers” lets try to make an education system where they will want to sen there kids, and not just because it is the only choice. I Went to Ohile Torah, and there are many classmates who have graduated who are trying to… Read more »

    To all you tolerance preachers:
    Guest
    To all you tolerance preachers:

    To all of you lubavitch light individuals, who are saying that the author is being selfish, not welcoming etc. What about you?- is it kind to disregard community norms and standards? It is extremely inconsiderate to behave in a way inconsistent with the values of the community you reside in. You are causing huge damage to the community. Ask yourself: Why do you expect Lubavitchers to be tolerant of your lifestyle when your choices are destroying their communities??? Your actions are inconsiderate and disrespectful to Lubavitchers. Starts by having Ahavas Yisroel yourself, then ask others to do the same for… Read more »

    to 27
    Guest
    to 27

    Please dont go into the pyschic field..

    what else is new...
    Guest
    what else is new...

    There are people that are bashing the writer.

    you must be the ones that are the problem.

    we are in a crisis. face it , you are destroying lubavitch

    this article is unfortunately very true
    Guest
    this article is unfortunately very true

    instead of knocking it! look into yourselves for why you are soooo soo deffensive and feel the urge to vilify

    the truth does hurt, ….

    this article is not jidgemental
    Guest
    this article is not jidgemental

    its very reasonable, it seems to be genuinely worried about our future

    thats a good thing

    dave
    Guest
    dave

    does anonymous mean misnagged in yiddish?

    so what should you do with them? not allow them into shuls so that they can become “chabad nothings.” brilliant

    you obviously didnt grow up on shlichus

    i believe theres a song called “no jew will b left behind”

    To 107and 108
    Guest
    To 107and 108

    to 107, Yes a chassid is one that spreads yiddishkeit, however they cant be a hypocrite. So they must try to be someone the Rebbe would be proud of.

    to 108, VERY VERY TRUE!!!

    balaboostas
    Guest
    balaboostas

    is part of the frei trend

    to 115
    Guest
    to 115

    like, like, like! Yes everyone needs to stop, take a deep breath, and think….Am i happy with the way I am behaving? Do I want my kids behaving this way? Are we all doing the right thing? Lets make this world a better place….

    Am I really Lubavitch Lite ?
    Guest
    Am I really Lubavitch Lite ?

    I would pose a question to the author as well as to the readers. Who is more lubavitch, me or you? I have a trimmed beard, a “chup” haircut, go to movies and my wife is “loose” with her tznius standards. I also regularly invite non-religious jews to my shabbos meal and to my shul, I daven with a minyan every day, go to weekly shiurim and participate in a chabad house actively (financially and physically). You have dandruff under your dirty hat an untouched beard with a wife who wears all black and dark beige stockings. You learn some… Read more »

    THE REAL CULPRIT
    Guest
    THE REAL CULPRIT

    It is the Rabbis of the new shuls who bare the responsibility for this… they are the ones who provide legitimacy/validation to this type of lifestyle. They should be the ones held accountable!

    This ou can have your cake and eat it too! after all im only drilling a hole on under my seat on the boat…

    WOW 111
    Guest
    WOW 111

    VERY WELL SAID

    To #32
    Guest
    To #32

    I didn’t read every comment so I don’t know if someone answerd you but you are so far off. Almost every big name in lubavitch has kids that went completlely off the derech.

    a true chossid looks for truth
    Guest
    a true chossid looks for truth

    the truth is that our children are clueless about how to reconcile the clear instructions of our Rebbe vs what they see so called lubavichers actually doing

    To 120, UR VERY INAPPROPRIATE
    Guest
    To 120, UR VERY INAPPROPRIATE

    THAT IS REALLY DISGUSTING OF YOU. There isnt you, and than the rest of the pple with dandruff under a dirty hat!! HOW NARROW MINDED UNINTELLIGENT AND RUDE!!!!

    LETS START WITH...
    Guest
    LETS START WITH...

    The #1 group of people that fit the category of “calling themselves Lubavitch but are really far from it” are THOSE WHO ALL THEY KNOW TO DO IS TO SING YECHI and nothing else, no maamorim, no sichos no mivtzoyim, nothing.

    115 is 10000000000000% right
    Guest
    115 is 10000000000000% right

    chill & absorb the truth

    123 rebuttal to your rebuttal
    Guest
    123 rebuttal to your rebuttal

    BIG NAME IN LUBAVICH does NOT mean, FOLLOWING ITS TEACHINGS in any internal substantive way!!

    Are the parents (WITH BIG NAMES…) actually living examples of self-regulation (AVODA) patience??
    …Shalom bayis?
    …Unconditional ahavas yisroel?
    …Valuing the deeper things in life?
    …Respecting authority even when you disagree?

    my point is, young people NEVER LEAVE “AUTHENTIC” JUDAISM… they get turned off by the LACK OF REAL JUDAISM!!

    TO # 24
    Guest
    TO # 24

    Why don’t you point out the mistakes that are so blatant to you??? All I see is that there is not a single period, comma or question mark in your comment!

    Sign your name or it's a pashkvil
    Guest
    Sign your name or it's a pashkvil

    Not one comment signed their name.

    Moishe machputz

    to #130
    Guest
    to #130

    the point was the message, not he messenger

    naming the messenger may distract from a very valid message

    not  a pashkvil, its a valid point regardless of who is delivering it
    Guest
    not a pashkvil, its a valid point regardless of who is delivering it

    Thank you Reb moshe though

    to 129
    Guest
    to 129

    Honestly, is punctuation the real problem here? Please… enough about punctuation, seriously!

    not a chabad women
    Guest
    not a chabad women

    although i have no dog in this fight, i do fully appreciate the validity of said article.

    its very important that chabad preserve at least one community somewhere which will “live-by” its principles & tradional values.

    the world would have lost a unique jem of the orthodox jewish community if chabad mainstream went the way of flatbush & far rockaway

    its important for the world to see how judaism can co-inside with real practical day to day life

    to 130
    Guest
    to 130

    yuhu, (and I know, I know, yuhu is not a word… for all those who love to jump at ppls grammer.) 2 pple signed their name 😉 Yaakov Shallman and Motty berger… And everyone, lets be honest with ourselves. We are all sliding downhill, myself included. Come on Lubavitch, and when I say Lubavitch, I mean everyone of you!! We need to shape up. We are a very special group of pple. Lets carry that name with honor. And honor ourselves, our children, and the pple around us, by behaving like we should! LK

    The Truth Comes Out
    Guest
    The Truth Comes Out

    @103 – Thank you for your honest position towards the Jews that you supposedly love and respect, yet simply don’t want in your schools.
    Finally someone with enough guts to be honest about the “Lubavitch Heavy” feelings toward the “Lubavitch Lite”.
    We”ll remember this the next time you come seeking a donation for your exclusive “Lubavitch Heavy” Moised, or is it OK to take funds from “Lubavitch Lite” folks, as long as their children don’t have anything to do with your children.?????

    Come on 136
    Guest
    Come on 136

    Not all Lubavitch heavy are taking donations from Lubavitch lite… lets not generalize.

    Another peice to the story...
    Guest
    Another peice to the story...

    Modern Lubavitch has become so common, that they seem to outnumber people who follow the Rebbe’s teachings and look the part. This causes single girls to need to adopt some of these modes of inappropriate dress. Otherwise they’re considered a Frumie. Its not like they would normally wear a skirt very below the knee, or do anything else that is farfrumt. But now that the Chabad light numbers grew, it threw off the balance and regular lubavitchers who follow basic Halacha are considered extreme, and out of touch. Basicly you gotta be more light to be normal. Those ladies that… Read more »

    To Mr #27
    Guest
    To Mr #27

    I agree with you considering the following: Moshiach (as it seems from your prediction) will NEVER arrive and we will all need to START LIVING IN A “MORE REALISTIC” WORLD… Look, this is not say that we will not have a (little) higher standard than the rest of the world; but we will become part of it… After all G-d will not be able to provide for our (very few – due to (practicality, i.e.)birth control) children in such a “realistic” world, so all our kids will be raised to go to college and the “more religious” ones will actually… Read more »

    Take Responsibility for Raising Your Own Kids
    Guest
    Take Responsibility for Raising Your Own Kids

    It seems everyone is always very hasty to push blame on to others. Every family doesn’t eat the same dinner, every family doesn’t buy clothing from the same store, and every family doesn’t have the same customs or way of doing things. Bottom line is that different families do things differently. Just because you personally have trouble explaining to your children “This is how we do it in our home.” does not mean you can pick and choose who’s Lubavitch and who’s not. I found this in general to be a very nasty article written with a lot of anger.

    I know this type of guy!
    Guest
    I know this type of guy!

    This guy sounds like the parent of some of my classmates who thought they were better than everyone else and looked down on all the other kids.
    I have some news for you; when you tell your kid how bad everyone else is and how rightous you are, he comes to school feeling that way and all teh other kids will hate him for it. So thanks to you, your kid is not gonna have any firnds and wil be knows as the loser frum kid who has stuck up parents

    How can anyone judge whether someone is Lubavitch or not?
    Guest
    How can anyone judge whether someone is Lubavitch or not?

    Comparing Chabad to an army (special ops) is a bad analogy. An army has an official enlistment process and is governed by a hierarchy of leaders who determine who is a soldier and who isn’t. In Lubavitch, there is no such authority. If a person honestly (key word) identifies himself as a Lubavitcher, and considers his way of life to be the Lubavitcher way of life, then who can judge otherwise? Many of the “Chabad lite/modern Lubavitch” people referred to in this article would identify themselves as such, if only we asked them (in a non-judgmental way of course) how… Read more »

    FOLLOWING THE REBBE'S INSTRUCTIONS = Chossid
    Guest
    FOLLOWING THE REBBE'S INSTRUCTIONS = Chossid

    the Rebbe asked his chasidim to do as follows:

    1. Men’s dress code, walk with hat n Jacket in the street
    2. Women’s dress code, Modest attire, Sheitul in the street
    3. Daily study Chitas, Rambam/Sefer Hamitzvos,
    4. Allocate time to do Mivtzoyim-Outreach
    5. Tehilim Shabbos mevorchim
    6. Designate 30min daily to analyze chinuch of children
    7. Men: Minyin for men,
    8. Women: One tefila per day,
    9. Occasional farbrengen wth fellow chasidm
    10. Charity before shacharis & Mincha

    Judge your self, not others, nor shall you judge if others are being too judgemental

    The point is
    Guest
    The point is

    @137 – The point is that @103 represents a majority of “Lubavitch Heavy’s” attitude toward “Lubavitch Lite”, yet in public, or when it’s beneficial, they claim to love the “Lubavitch Lite”. With so many “Heavies” having the feeling of @103, it’s a miracle that any “Lite Chevra” affiliate themselves at all with Lubavitch. That has to be the power of the Rebbe…… that he can give strength to persevere and remain connected (on any level) to an entire generation of kids that were raised by hypocritical and negative parents (that mistakenly call themselves the Rebbe’s chassidim).

    Excluding? No!
    Guest
    Excluding? No!

    They can call themselves Lubavitchers b/c that is what they are. They can dress the way they want outside b/ c they are adults and can make that decision. BUT!! They can’t come into shul or schools like that. Their children’s friends are cruel and will mock them, a shul is a place of kedusha, they know better. It is just a bedavka and their is enough time on the streets that you do not have to come to schools like that or shul. Any othet time …it is ur life and you make the rules for that.

    ch resident
    Guest
    ch resident

    you would keep the laws of Uncle Sam and what about the laws of the Torah? You can not dress a certain way, or talk or act a certain way. We are lubavitch and we adhere to lubavitch standards. Just like we should adhere to Uncle Sam so also to the Torah

    disgusting
    Guest
    disgusting

    I have heard from many litvishe friends how they see “chabad” kids, young men, and women acting and dressing in a way that they would be embarrassed for their children to see them. the women dress like fashion models with all the hiddurim, the men walk around like shkutzim. it is tarnishing all the good that chabad has tried to bring to the world.
    It is hard for people to read such an article, but the unfortunate reality is that burying our heads in the sand wont make it go away.

    victim
    Guest
    victim

    I am sure the one who disagrees with this article is the same massor who massered on people in CH. The people who disagree are capable of messira. This article is right on the money.

    Lost World
    Guest
    Lost World

    TO #27…If you are the future ..G d help us all, because changing with the times is a natural process yes..but, changing away from who you are for the times is a serious problem

    lets face it our communities have one huge failure after another
    Guest
    lets face it our communities have one huge failure after another

    we need moshiach NOW!

    The final word lefi aniyas daati:
    Guest
    The final word lefi aniyas daati:

    Asking the author to identify themself is only an attempt at character assasitnation, despite the truth they imparted, and to challenge a holier than thou approach the author has seemingly taken. Either way, attacking the author personally is avoiding the issue. With regard to the issue: the author is right, there is a huge problem. These people are greatly lacking in ahavas Yisroel, to walk around boldly and publicly trampling and mocking the values of Yiddin and the community they live in and expect service from (education etc). What they are doing is the opposite of normal, as they strive… Read more »

    VERY SIMPLE - " LITES" LOST IN THE DARKNESS
    Guest
    VERY SIMPLE - " LITES" LOST IN THE DARKNESS

    There are those who follow the Rebbe’s teachings, guidance ,Sichos, etc. and there are UNFORTUNATELY those who lost or never got the REBBE’S message that at the present time it is our SHLICHUS to do all we can to bring down the IMMINENT Geulah. Instead these “lites” get lost in the darkness of the world.

    a different thought
    Guest
    a different thought

    fish starts rotting from its’ head down: our “leadership” is in need of major shaping up to be living examples of the “true Lubavitch values. The Beis Din, school principals in CH in all the “burbs” around the world need to really self-examine: is what they do about their power, their name, their house/car/iphone etc… or is it about the community and/or children they work for???? Or do they work for them?…. Stop the hypocracy…. BUT on the other hand, everyone Chossid anwers to the Rebbe with the Rebbe being our Emesdik connection to Hashem, I don’t know how Chabad… Read more »

    G-D BLESS THE AUTHOR RIGHT 100.000.000%
    Guest
    G-D BLESS THE AUTHOR RIGHT 100.000.000%
    this is a painful aricle to read
    Guest
    this is a painful aricle to read

    annonymous please identify urself

    this is a good thing
    Guest
    this is a good thing

    th fact that we have so much “chabad lite” shows that b’h the “original” lubavitcher chassidim (note that i didnt say “real” 😉 are still growing and flourinshing. dont we know the rule “zeh leumas zeh” how wever much good there is their is going to be the other side to match it.

    so instead of looking it in negative way, embrace it and we should all help each other out, bc we can all learn from each other.

    serious suggestion
    Guest
    serious suggestion

    let’s find out from the recognized community mashpiim, what the proper hashkofa towards “Chabad lite” should be.

    so sorry for you...
    Guest
    so sorry for you...

    there is not “us” and “them”, there is not mainstream lubavitch community, the only chosid is the one that learns and practice chassidus, looks like you have never touched any chassidus sefer yet, so sorry for you, really…you project so much darkness…anyway, I think you are a “chabad lite” and I still love you…!

    where did you learn...?
    Guest
    where did you learn...?

    in Ohr Sammayach…?

    to whom it may concern
    Guest
    to whom it may concern

    My brothers and I survived a frightening confusing childhood. by GROWING UP IN OUR FRIENDS’ HOUSES. We ate with them went on their trips worked in their businesses. If you save one kid by making aniim (bdaas) bnai baysecho you will save an entire world.

    student
    Guest
    student

    its not a parents fault if their children r frying out and watch tv behind their backs!!

    Bubbeh maises
    Guest
    Bubbeh maises

    This is not new and nobody really cares besides people who are insecure and think that their children will be lost and want to blame other people for the things that they did wrong in raising their children. Also if you let them (for those who call our dear brothers and sisters them ) have their own schools it will be the biggest school in crown heights vastly overshadow your schools and in the end they will prevail and they will be the norm and the community and you will be lost 🙂 so it is a very very bad… Read more »

    mayanot baali teshuva
    Guest
    mayanot baali teshuva

    it is so difficult to be a baalai teshuva these days with all of the confusing chabad sections and fringe groups that there are. i heard in the past, as a baalai teshuva you didn’t have as many options and for someone who is becoming religious through chabad and wants to accept chabad as their minhag- it is just so confusing! please make it easier for us and stop saying you are chabad when you are in fact NOT!

    It starts and ends with the mosdos
    Guest
    It starts and ends with the mosdos

    When the leadership of the lubavitch mosods will be strong and take a stand instead of being pushovers, there may be a change. I dont mean to say that they should kick out the students, i dont believe that is the right solution, but the inability of the school leadership to set and MAINTAIN proper and strong standards is really the root of the problem. OUR MOSDOS NEED NEW YOUNG AND STRONG LEADERSHIP.

    its funny
    Guest
    its funny

    i grew up chabad-ish and have now become fully chabad..i used to hang out with the “fried out” kids and this one girl in particular who is VERY fry used to always tell me she would never marry outside of lubavitch but what she really means is she wants to marry someone like her-who doesn’t care about tznious, doesn’t keep cholov yisroel, goes out to bars..etc. so basically shes looking for a guy who grew up lubav and is fried out now. is she lubavitch? i dont think so…i used to think something deep down has obviously affected her to… Read more »

    THIS IS VERY SCARY
    Guest
    THIS IS VERY SCARY

    WE HAVE A REAL PROBLEM..IM A 21 YEAR OLD GIRL AND IM TERRIFIED TO RAISE CHILDREN..I KNOW THERE’S A PROBLEM AND I DON’T WANT MY CHILDREN TO BE LIKE THAT..
    I STRUGGLE MYSELF I KNOW WHAT’S RIGHT AND WRONG BUT IT’S SO HARD THESE DAYS TO ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING
    UCHHHHH IM SCARED

    many of our children are not making it through our chinuch system
    Guest
    many of our children are not making it through our chinuch system

    many of our children are not surviving this chinuch system- it works for only a minority of our children. yeshiva days are long and intense with little outlet for kids who are not cookie cutter children. The kids that cant hack it feel that they dont fit into this chassidishe environment- its not for them. i wonder if creating a more balanced system where regular kids can feel successful would keep our kids feeling good and happy to be a part of a chassidishe environment and hopefully decreasing our growing number of”chabad light ” young adults.

    @162
    Guest
    @162

    U sound like an idiot. “as far as rabbonim now thats a old joke whom nobody respects if zalmen shimon was here the schuna would look different” .

    Im 99% positive your werent buddies with him or on first name basis. Some respect please.

    I was heart broken!
    Guest
    I was heart broken!

    I can’t believe I am reading this article. This issue is very personal to me and very heart braking.

    My 10 year old daughter just asked my last night if a family close cousin of mine is Lubavitch? I said “of course! Why do you ask?” She said “because it looked like the husband cuts his beard and the wife dresses very modern and un-tznius.

    I was heart broken!

    Comment # 32
    Guest
    Comment # 32

    Very good comment!

    Blah blah blah...
    Guest
    Blah blah blah...

    Just another website traffic driver.
    Anyway, do you think the Rebbe would let you have internet?
    Just asking….

    We are family
    Guest
    We are family

    All lubavitchers are like siblings: brother, sisters. And while siblings may be very different (i.e., more frum, less frum, meshichist, anti, tzfati, etc….), we are still siblings with the same tatte (the Rebbe).

    You can’t kick a sibling out of the family! It doesn’t work that way (even if you think you follow the tatte’s horoas more strictly).

    This article really sickened me.

    Bochor
    Guest
    Bochor

    I am a bochor and am currently in a very good private university, I am taking up sociology and I hate to brake it to all you individuals who say that this parent is just blaming there kids problems on others but it’s not true. When your a kid growing up you are very influenced by your surroundings, a typical boy spends 9-5 six days a week surrounded by friends in school NOT parents! I have a relative through marriage and I’ve gotten to know him and his wife an they are aidel people, although not religuos at all, there… Read more »

    who are you blaming?
    Guest
    who are you blaming?

    what you are saying is that our master and teacher did a bad job. i think he had it worked out, stop worying so much about others and start worying about yourself.

    Finally  the 'Taboo' is being SPOKEN!
    Guest
    Finally the 'Taboo' is being SPOKEN!

    Thank you for being so brave in speaking the truth! Why is it in Lubavich it is so Taboo and unspoken- subject to say “No! this is NOT aloud!? Why are we Frum-Lubavich community so INSECURE? Perhaps the more this issue is spoken about in PUBLIC…the more the Chabbad-liteniks will NOT do what THEY DO IN PUBLIC! I believe there are so many of us (lets already call it- ‘Halachically Lubavichers’ , to be accurate) people who feel so strongly about this terrible issue. (How is a women who dresses in a non-halachic manner EVEN CONSIDERED a Frum jew- Never… Read more »

    To number 9
    Guest
    To number 9

    I never comment but must say i love it.

    to 169
    Guest
    to 169

    Good morning wake up and smell the roses
    this is reality
    just have an OPEN Dialogue with your daughter!!

    CHABAD LITE
    Guest
    CHABAD LITE

    I PROBABLY FALL PERFECTY UNDER WHAT THIS AUTHOR DESCRIBES AS “CHABAD LITE” AND I MUST ADMIT THAT OVERALL THE ISSUE SHE BRINGS HOLDS VALID GROUND, WE “CHABAD LITE” ARE I GUESS VERY SELLFISH, I KNOW THAT THE WAY I DRESS, TALK, ACT, SHAVE AND V’CHULU V’CHULU (WORSE AND WORSE), I PROBABLY ACT THIS WAY B/C I AM LAZY, MAYBE JUST A BIT SUPERFICIAL, EASILY INFLUENCED, HAVE BIG YATZER HORAH…. AND MY KIDS, WIFE AND I PROBABLY HAVE A NEGATIVE AFFECT (RELIGIOUSLY) ON MOST LUBAVITCHERS BUT TO MOVE AWAY FROM MY COMMUNITY WHERE I HAVE ALL MY FRIENDS?? TO SEND MY… Read more »

    This is #3 again... (titled: Want war?)
    Guest
    This is #3 again... (titled: Want war?)

    Congrats! U got war! woohoo and i won the $5 bet with mah peeps!

    anonymous
    Guest
    anonymous

    its definitely chevlei Moshiach, how could Moshiach come, youre right, sad times with the tznius issue, mem tes sharei tumah all around, hope we can buckle up with our tznius so Hashem can have rachmonis on us and send Moshiach Now

    yikes
    Guest
    yikes

    so i live in ch (single working girl, family is from another state) and i went to a meal at a familys house in ch. all i have to say is I COULD NOT EAT THEIR FOOD. the wife answered the door in a low top and mini dress and the husband barely had any beard. we start getting the food ready and the wife was craking jokes about her love for ouD food..but i wasn’t so amused THEN behold a knock on the door and i thot oh thank Gd a frum person will come but no.. another “lubavitch”… Read more »

    Att #173
    Guest
    Att #173

    I hate to BREAK it to you, bochor, but the key to getting into “top private universities” is knowing the difference between there, their, and they’re. Once a bochur, always a bochur… Good luck!

    Take care of your own first!
    Guest
    Take care of your own first!

    @ 172 – Nicely Said! @175 – If you can say that another Jew looks like a garbage can, then you are not a chossid of the Rebbe. Perhaps you should review all the sichos that you preach and see if the Rebbe would ever tell another Jew that they look like a garbage can. I believe he would go to great lengths to see the positive side of every Jew, no matter how distant. Once again you affirm to the Lubavitch Lite why they shouldn’t look up to you as an example. I would say people such as yourself… Read more »

    Did what you want
    Guest
    Did what you want

    I am Lubavitch Lite and I sent my kids to a Modern School. They will get Mussar and no Chasidus…… I will do my best to instill some chasidish insight into their lives, but at what point will you want a Lubavitcher to be Mikariv them and teach them chassidus? At least there’s one less kid in the system that can negatively influence your child…..

    @166
    Guest
    @166

    The Rebbe provided a solution to your exact confusion and fear, by designating for yourself a fitting mentor (read the Sicha how not to get messed over) u thereby channel the rebbes brochos and guidance. It works amazing when u fallow the sicha on how to choose yourself a mentor.
    Good luck!

    WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Guest
    WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    How far from the tree so many of you have fallen. Do you REALLY think chabad, belz, litvish etc makes any difference when your time comes to meet with g-d? That is not what matters or what g-d commands of us. We are first and will always be Jewish and are required to follow the commandments which clearly stipulate the laws pertaining to how one must conduct themselves to be ultimately a good jew. NO WHERE IN THE TORAH DOES IT MENTION CHABAD OR WHAT IT MEANS OR WHO CAN AND CANNOT CALL THEMSELVES IT! What matters fellow brothers is… Read more »

    @ #9
    Guest
    @ #9

    Were they giving out free samples of Prozac at your office today? 2000 years ago people wanted to be Jews, without keeping halacha. Today they are known as xtians. 75 years ago people wanted to be Jews, without keeping halacha. They are the progenators of millions of reform Jews. R”L that is happening again today, in CH. Today people who don’t want to keep halacha call themselves LUBAVITCHERS! Who ever heard of a chosid who’s not frum? As the saying goes, “Your father wore a kapote. You wear a short jacket. What will your son wear?” Today we see the… Read more »

    You have it all wrong
    Guest
    You have it all wrong

    You must be kidding! If there is Lubavitch light, what would that make you Lubavitch dark?? Can you honestly look in the mirror and say you do everything exactly like a Lubavitch should? If not be very carefull because G-D will judge you like you have judged others! If the Lubavitch “light” (sounds so stupid)open there own school will you cover the shortfall at the Cheder? P.S I don’t want to catch you checking out the carpool line, your scaring the mothers!

    in responce to #183 (#175 responding
    Guest
    in responce to #183 (#175 responding

    Im so sorry you took it personally regarding the “looking like a garbage can” C”V! I was talking a bout a general look! As you saw in my comment I was including myself in the fact that everyone can grow. For me….if I wore to wear a certain clothing- that would make me “low” or “slummy”.
    I promise I didn’t at all mean it in a specific way. . I apologize that you took it that way!

    #175 responding to #183 comment
    Guest
    #175 responding to #183 comment

    Im so sorry you took it personally regarding the “looking like a garbage can” CH”V!
    I was talking about a general look! Even the most Frumeh women, can wear something slightly “slummy”. As you saw in my comment, I was specifically including myself in the fact that everyone can grow. For me….if I was to wear a certain clothing- on me, that would make me “low” or “slummy”. To each their own growth!
    As long as our direction is going up.

    the only thing missing in this article is making it clear to the yunge-LITE that living as the Rebbe taught us is a most satisfyi
    Guest
    the only thing missing in this article is making it clear to the yunge-LITE that living as the Rebbe taught us is a most satisfyi

    :….most satisfying way of life.

    Its in their best interest to assume the Rebbe knows best how we will truly be happy.

    #32 is the smartest point thus far
    Guest
    #32 is the smartest point thus far

    :

    I agree with no. 183.
    Guest
    I agree with no. 183.

    One of the biggest messages that the Rebbe left us with (coming second only to Moshiach) is complete ahavas Yisroel and being totally non judgmental of others. I am very pleased that we have Chabad Lite. Of course I would rather that they become Chabad full on. But until they are ready for more I am happy that they feel an affinity with Chabad and feel it important for themselves to be living in Crown Heights. and I would not want them to feel unwanted. As for the author’s concerns they have to be dealt with but his solution is… Read more »

    Trendy hipsters
    Guest
    Trendy hipsters

    Hey,
    anyone want to sip a latte @ the trendy ultra cool Basil in the paris end of Crown heights? or check out the next hip mahitza free event sponsored by a chabad shliach in Manhattan? Or shop for some trendy pink shirts at soho – to match our new pink tsivos Hashem yarmulkes?

    @168
    Guest
    @168

    why the name calling and hes my uncle so ladida

    i agree w #54
    Guest
    i agree w #54

    Stat moving down to pittsburgh!(I’m talking about the REAL chabadniks).but leave out the yechi stuff

    What would the Rebbe want?
    Guest
    What would the Rebbe want?

    The Rebbe would want us to embrace “all of our family”! Whoever wrote this letter is also not really a Lubavitcher because the Rebbe didn’t put people in boxes like you do and try to make them into identical judgemental CLONES!!! If you want that kind of education and community for your family, I suggest you look into Bais Tziviia and the L.A. Cheider. What you are looking for in Chabad doesn’t exist. The only way you can help is by strengthening yourself in Ahavas Yisroel .

    It all starts and ends in the home!!!
    Guest
    It all starts and ends in the home!!!

    Preach good chassidishe values in your home in a positive and warm manner. Teach your kids to be an example and leave the rest alone. surly your negative attitude towards ‘lubavitch lite’ who are members of your own families is the opposite of what the rebbe preached and will undermine your chassidishe message.
    YOU be the lamplighter and teach your kids to be the same.

    television
    Guest
    television

    i think its crazy to throw someone out of skl because trhey have a tv

    Get Real - some of your kids will not be frum
    Guest
    Get Real - some of your kids will not be frum

    It’s the price you pay for being exposed to the surrounding world and the society you live in. Stop idealizing a utopian little shchunah where there is no exposure to reality. Teach your kids what is right and eventually they will make their own decisions if they want to follow your lifestyle. SOME WILL NOT. There is nothing you can do to change it and you will need to accept it. If you want your children to be functioning people they will need a healthy self concept and if you push them away with unyielding pressure you risk destroying their… Read more »

    138 is totally right!!  SHIDDUCH CRISIS
    Guest
    138 is totally right!! SHIDDUCH CRISIS

    as a single girl, when i was younger i was never that chassidish, i always watched movies, read secular shtusin etc, but my tznius was always just that, tznius..then as i got older, i saw all my peers who were even frummer than me start lowering their necklines, and shortening their skirts, so i followed suit, because if they can, why couldnt i? before my wallet grew with less fabric buying (going bare-legged has saved me hundreds) guys were saying no because i was too chassidish…now its the opposite…… moral of the story is chabad lite or chabad heavy, all… Read more »

    looking from within
    Guest
    looking from within

    having read through most of the comments, perhaps i have something to add. we parents and grandparents were fortunate to live and be inspired by the Rebbe 24/7. the worlsd was also not so immoral and how many of us had internet 20 yrs ago. so really we dont get that much credit for following in our parents footsteps ten yrs ago when some of my children were young i also was very concerned about the influence of the street. one of my daughter in high school had a very difficult class, i had to smartly screen phonecalls, discourage her… Read more »

    destroy
    Guest
    destroy

    SUCH ARTICLES JUST INCREASE THE DIVISION AND MACHLOKES WHICH WE ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH OFF BETWEEN US.
    IF THIS CONTINUES……….. CH”V
    WE ARE JUST DESTROYING OURSELVES… SHAME!

    the only thing you can do to make sure Lubavitch continues to be Lubavitch is work on yourself! higher YOUR standarts.

    pratical suggestion
    Guest
    pratical suggestion

    let the shuls that allow non tznius women to daven there, lose their nitzigim representation

    173
    Guest
    173

    thank you for your honesty

    conundrum
    Guest
    conundrum

    oh i had such experiences with ppl who dress
    lubavitch with fancy gezhe last names…. behaving
    in such a corrupt, nasty and inappropriate manner….

    frummie ffb's
    Guest
    frummie ffb's

    I love the super frum FFB’s who are disgusted with TV’s and movies (including Agent Emes, etc.), yet, they let their children watch “frum” videos at friends’ homes. When they go on vacation, they watch tv in their hotel rooms. And they use the internet for all their news and information. Then there are the “don’t ask—don’t tell” frummies who go to waterparks and beaches for vacations and won’t tell you how they get around the tznius issue. They won’t tell because they simply don’t deal with it. Of course, the super frum FFB’s like to make fun of BT’s… Read more »

    Discontinue the new “Chabad Light”. It’s not as tasty as the real thing!
    Guest
    Discontinue the new “Chabad Light”. It’s not as tasty as the real thing!

    I’m going with the good old “Chabad Classic” I think they should discontinue the new “Chabad Light”. It’s not as tasty as the real thing!

    guys give it up
    Guest
    guys give it up

    this whole article is backwards. Who on earth is going to get affected by this? the Lite – no! The schools – theres no principals reading this i can assure you.

    Just try and deal with the situation in your neighborhood and finished

    This affects SHIDDUCHIM!
    Guest
    This affects SHIDDUCHIM!

    Singles marketing themselves as described in this article are not just affecting schools, but shidduchim and marriages. There are many singles who will call themselves chabad but in truth they are ‘Friends of Chabad’ or ‘Chabad Lite’ and only after going out with them or c’v marrying them, the significant other is finds out that they are not as they are advertised to be!

    Gesha father and proud of it
    Guest
    Gesha father and proud of it

    to #207. Hey don’t let this become a discussion of BT and FFB. and GEZCHA. Today many of the kids are alike, but who brought the shmutz into Lubavitch?

    to 178
    Guest
    to 178

    you are amazing. Good for you. Wow…. Yasher koach and good luck…

    last resort
    Guest
    last resort

    Bend (?) The home schooling rules and start an underground Yeshiva on the cheap. The chok isn’t the last word. Also the best way to learn secular is to tutor (under appropriate supervision) the younger Caribbean etc. Kids whose parents value education. You only need to stay one lesson ahead and it can spread sheva mitzvos.

    talk to your neighbor
    Guest
    talk to your neighbor

    talk,
    care,
    make a farbrengen together,
    make a shiur.

    don’t run,
    don’t chase,
    be a loving shining light.

    Your Teachers
    Guest
    Your Teachers

    Some of the current leading Chabad educators in today’s system were once Lubavitch Lite, or going off the derech. Perhaps we should have thrown them out of school at that moment in their lives.???

    new idea..
    Guest
    new idea..

    i think ch should have a meeting..THE ENTIRE CH..encourage all chassidish/not chassidish/lite/etc. to come and give their opinion on what/how they are struggeling and what can help them. This sounds ridiculous but im serious. NO ATTATCKING each other, just an open discussion. I know people may have problems w/ this because they don’t want their names/faces/opinions exposed. But I really truly think we are seeing a major problem and bad turning point in Lubavitch right now and need something like this. I’m not the most “chassidish” person out and there are true issues I have so I would totally be… Read more »

    another Los Angeles opinion
    Guest
    another Los Angeles opinion

    Well, I live in LA as well, have been part of the mainstream Lubavitch community for many many years, sent all my kids through the “system”… and personally I am thrilled that there are shuls for our younger members who find themselves being pulled (tested?) by the secular world. This way, at least, they are still connected to Chabad, still wear their kapotes on Shabbos, still follow Chabad minhagim, still consider the Rebbe their Rebbe and still instill in their children Lubavitchkeit. I feel that if the schools – yes the very same ones I sent my kids to –… Read more »

    Oh my...
    Guest
    Oh my...

    By the way, in a sicho on Parshas Noach, the Rebbe says that if someone sees a quality in someone else, it is only a reflection of what exists in oneself. Perhaps the author should look at herself instead of criticizing others.

    to 218
    Guest
    to 218

    i never understood that.. if u know someone and think they have a tendency to lie, or another person who is extremely giving and caring..it doesnt mean you are too..no1 can explain this 2 me

    Chabad munt Pnimius
    Guest
    Chabad munt Pnimius

    Truthfully, chabad never changed our education system after 3 tamuz, in the past before 3 tamuz ( sounds like some other before and after a certain point in time v’dal) we were told we should do all certain things to make the Rebbe proud, and you went to farbrengens, and rallies, so it was all real and and kept someone motivated,,,, now without the Rebbe physicaly here, chabad needs to get back to education of the beauty of chabad “way” of life and just in general jewish way of life, because most of us humans need feedback on everything, besides… Read more »

    Fun-seekers
    Guest
    Fun-seekers

    The Rebbe tried, valiantly, to make yiddishkeit fun or at least palatable. Our job is to make it relevant. 3 Tammuz is when Lubavitch graduated, a few at the top of the class, many at the bottom, majority in the middle.

    a bit extreme
    Guest
    a bit extreme

    How can you know that they’re not really Lubavitch at heart? How can you say that they’re “going down” not up? I don’t think you can really know what kind of struggles these people are going through. The key is to try to help them, not to ostracize them and push them out of the community.

    new classifications
    Guest
    new classifications

    in my day, when I was a bochur, these people were called BUMS

    and they knew it too

    Now you know how we feel
    Guest
    Now you know how we feel

    Same thing happened to Breslov. Now you know how they feel. In all seriousness there is nothing you can do. When you do kiruv and put aside essential Yiddishkeit in the name of being mekarev people this is going to happen. You gave Satmar a hard time but they didn’t compromise. Nobody goes around calling himself Satmar who isn’t Satmar.

    Tznius ,the root of the problem
    Guest
    Tznius ,the root of the problem

    I think,that we have to find out,why do the girls or parents choose to be untznius?there has to be a reason.And when you find the reason,the problem will go away.Is there a lack of Ahavas Yisroel,that the children or parents cling to wrong values?So I have discussed this Shabbos with a teenager who left Yiddishkeit.That ,the right values are not emphasized,therefore ,they throw everything away,and dont care.

    bh my kids r more chasidash then my self
    Guest
    bh my kids r more chasidash then my self

    but i feel the paine on both sides . and the feelings of all typs
    of our family chabad , the ALTER REBBA says we r all family

    The irony
    Guest
    The irony

    The irony of this article is that the author doesn’t have a clue

    You sound like a Misnaged
    Guest
    You sound like a Misnaged

    Didnt the Bal Shem Tov reach out to those who werent on his level? Who died and made YOU boss? I happen to owe the fact that I am frum today to several Shluchim who had the patience to talk things through with me and iron out any uncertainties I had with Lubavitch. Chabad and Lubavitch is not an exclusive card carrying country club for the frum elite. It is a breeding ground for peoples spiuritually

    suggestions
    Guest
    suggestions

    love the article we need posotive ideas
    where do we go from here
    is it more farbrengens? or ……
    really, we have no one better then each other
    we have a great cheder great staff
    and we all want to bring the rebbe nachas

    disagree!!!!!
    Guest
    disagree!!!!!

    It is absolutely false!!!!!!!!!!

    To 14
    Guest
    To 14

    You are intelligent man!! (sense the sarcasm) That’s exactly the point! Chabad Lite don’t actually care about anyone but themselves, you got it. And you’re firgiving them all. Hey I don’t know what your standard of frumkeit is, and frankly I don’t care. But what you gotta know, is that Chabad Lite are living in a dreeeaaam… They’re not Chabad, nothing about them is Chabad, so why associate with Chabad?! Family and friends you say?? That’s weak… I should hope married couples with kids should be strong enough to have their own identities and not just follow a trend set… Read more »

    Sad
    Guest
    Sad

    This is just SAD, the lack of Ahavas Yisroel here can make me cry. Would the Rebbe be happy to see his children fighting and separating this way? You’ve lost the real point of why we are here. Who ever wrote this article, please so get help, and all those who agree with it, start thinking about why you are here and what the Rebbe and Hashem wants from you, not what your own ego is feeding you.

    A Solution
    Guest
    A Solution

    So I have a solution Not in changing peoples behavior that I will leave to the great spiritual minds and leaders of the community rather a simple way of “disengagement “ yet not total separation We don’t have the right to strip a Yid of any title and for sure not to call him “ois Lubavitch” .That is equivalent to Kares R”L are you really comfortable sentencing a fellow Chassid to that YET This is a painful reality that we must realize …that as much as you can teach your children at home they pick up huge amounts from their… Read more »

    how ever had the nerve to rite that u ar going agents what ever we stand for
    Guest
    how ever had the nerve to rite that u ar going agents what ever we stand for

    If it was a non frome kids u wood let them in but. “Chabad lite” no how ever u ar that rote the article GET A JOB b4 u mack your self look stooped on line a gen don’t forget what the most important thing wee stand for ahavs yesrael

    230 and 179!!!!!!
    Guest
    230 and 179!!!!!!

    I totally agree 1000000000000%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    One day someone will ask your kids... are you Jewish?
    Guest
    One day someone will ask your kids... are you Jewish?

    These comments illustrate how raw a nerve this whole issue is. And for me, a Shlucha who conveniently lives close enough to Crown Heights to see it’s degeneration, it’s painful. It’s kind of like watching a car wreck: You know it’s going to crash, and people will get hurt, but you are powerless to stop it. When people willfully stop keeping halacha, you know there is a possibility that their grandchildren will no longer be Jewish. History teaches us what happens to Mendelsohns… from Rabbi to Church music composer in two generations. It’s inevitable that if you show your kids… Read more »

    The Simple Answer is This
    Guest
    The Simple Answer is This

    Teach your child that they are an example to others and the reason Hashem put them as your classmates is for you to influence them! Teach yourselt to always tell your children that we never look down at others especially if they are our very own fellow lubavitchers. Explain to them that every yid is on a different level and they are learning to do torah and mitzvos too. So we help them just by being a living example and being tznius. But it does not end there. We call this classmate on erev shabbos and wish her a good… Read more »

    New Community?
    Guest
    New Community?

    Making new schools, community, Shuls, ‘group’ for Chabad Lite = Making a community for the Yetzer Hara. It is true that it is hard to live with a Yetzer Hara especially SOMEONE ELSE’S Yetzer Hara. But I think the only solution is for everyone to recognize THEIR OWN Yetzer Hara and FIGHT IT- DONT LIVE WITH IT!! Don’t call your Yetzer Hara ‘Chabad lite’- so now it can do whatever it wants since Chabad lite is a new title it has no standards and it means- less standards then Torah (s CHABAD). Be a Lubavitcher, follow Torahs Chabad and try… Read more »

    to # 27 - you are totally wrong
    Guest
    to # 27 - you are totally wrong

    Actually Chabad has broken into 3 groups 1)Tzfatim and extreme meshichist 2) mainstream lubavitcher chassidim (defined by #146). this group includes the thousands of shluchim around the world and many, many thousands of individuals living in various chabad communities around the world who are in my opinion authentic chabad chassidim. 3) chabad lite You coveniently missed out the second and by far largest group in chabad today. the shluchim are becoming more and more successful and authentic chabad is growing in leaps and bounds. No one can explain it, but it is true. The future looks good for this group.… Read more »

    Step down from your pedestal!
    Guest
    Step down from your pedestal!

    There are shluchim the world over whose children grow up with totally non-frum children in their schools and in their communities and they remain chassidishe because it’s instilled in them at home. Stop with the fire and brimstone and make the best environment for your own children which will surely influence others for the good. That’s what the Rebbe taught!

    SOLUTION
    Guest
    SOLUTION

    Be honest in your dealings. Uphold the highest standards of chassidishkeit and ahavas yisrael. Open your own school. Open your own shul. This is Lubavitch.

    blah blah blah
    Guest
    blah blah blah

    thank you mrs anonymous!
    your words give me comfort

    because its all:
    lies,
    hate,
    disenchantment,
    jealousy,
    zealotry,
    bigotry,
    anonymity,
    animosity,
    loneliness,
    guilt,
    unhappiness,
    disillusionment,
    apathy,
    sympathy,
    callousness,
    joylessness,

    and thank you mrs anonymous!
    your words live on!

    narrow minded
    Guest
    narrow minded

    I am completely blown away by the attitude that you have towards your fellow jew. The author is completely off base and does not even have the courage to say who he is. The Rebbe wanted a melting pot in his schools so that the top could help the bottom rise. The person that wrote this article should look in the mirror because I HIGHLY DOUBT HE IS A TZADIK. everyone in life has there ups and downs but to blast them is just wrong. Unless your the next Rebbe look in the mirroR because i AM SURE YOU ARE… Read more »

    To all those
    Guest
    To all those

    To those who went off and came back, please tell us what brought you back.

    DEFINITIONS & RULES
    Guest
    DEFINITIONS & RULES

    After all that has been said —-much of it true ,but alas much nonsense…allow me please to make some points…. 1.The highest standard of lubavitch will always be and thrive,as the Rebbe Rashab said “mir vellen blybin gantz,nit nor in etzem ,nor oich in hispashtus”-roughly translated “lubavitch will remain whole and intact…” 2.Though lubavitch was always inclusive ,it always also stood for the high spiritual standard,see the famous hayom yom of 10 av,where it states that the Alter Rebbe could’ve had 50,000 more chassidim had he not demanded truth etc., NONE of the Rabbeim EVER supported COMPROMISE… 3.So we have… Read more »

    Bravo to # 178
    Guest
    Bravo to # 178

    Thank g-d some good has come out of this! To those that have the notion that bt’s brought all the worldly ideas to the rest of Lubavitch: When you are connected to the source of heat , you will not be affected by the cold! Please do not blame bt’s for your shortcomings in your service to G-D! To 120: It is so ironic that any one in your eyes that is on a higher stranded than you is : dysfunctional, unhappy, and unemployed. Being a single , young girl many of my friends are part of this ” lite”… Read more »

    To #111-
    Guest
    To #111-

    But I’m confused. Don’t the socalled Lubavitche lite have as much right as you do to live the way they choose to? I don’t get it. Do you OWN that parcel of land to the exclusion of others, because you BOUGHT that land which is now YOURS to govern? I’m not aware of such a purchase, but let me know if I am wrong. If I am NOT wrong, then it seems to me EVERYONE should be welcome to practice their religion as they feel is right for them. Do THEY want YOU to go away? Do THEY judge you,… Read more »

    col yisrael arevim zeh l'zeh
    Guest
    col yisrael arevim zeh l'zeh

    if a belzer boy shines his shoes, a south african gvir shmad zich

    To #20-
    Guest
    To #20-

    You must know that not all children do what their parents do. You may be doing what your parents did, but there are others who might see some things differently. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I hope your values and ideals pan out for you and your family.

    re: blah blah, comment 242
    Guest
    re: blah blah, comment 242

    im so confused,
    what does this mean?

    “thank you mrs anonymous!
    your words give me comfort

    because its all:
    lies,
    hate,
    disenchantment,
    jealousy,
    zealotry,
    bigotry,
    anonymity,
    animosity,
    loneliness,
    guilt,
    unhappiness,
    disillusionment,
    apathy,
    sympathy,
    callousness,
    joylessness,

    and thank you mrs anonymous!
    your words live on! ”

    do you like what this person says or do you disagree?

    you are confusing me

    On this topic
    Guest
    On this topic

    see the quotes from the Rebbeim in the articles here:

    http://a-farbrengen.blogspot.com/search/label/what%20is%20a%20chossid

    Can someone please give me a label
    Guest
    Can someone please give me a label

    I grew up going to Lubavitch Yeshiva and Modern Orthodox schools, I am a member at 3 Chabad Shuls, 2 Sephardic Shuls 2 Ashkenaz shuls, 5 kiddush clubs and 2 house minyans.
    I think I will call myself a Sephashbitcher.
    Or maybe zero calorie Lubav?
    I love when Chabad wants my money I am “Chossid of the Rebbe”

    Wow
    Guest
    Wow

    of course such an article will bring out both “sides” very strongly… part of the problem is that everything everyone is accepted because we’re lubavitchers i think if a lot of ppl think about it honestly if what they were doing wouldn’t be accepted they wouldn’t be doing it…
    about time someone said something openly to the point
    … there is basic yiddishkeit standards that we need upheld in our communities if we don’t want intermarriages to start happening right here in our communities (give it 20 years at the rate we’re going)

    "Everyone should be chassidim..."
    Guest
    "Everyone should be chassidim..."

    Definition: when someone calls themselves Chabad/ Lubavitch, they are saying: “I have a connection to the Lubavitcher Rebbe…” EVERY JEW falls into this category… The Rebbe once said: ” everyone will become chassidim- some before the coming of Moshiach, and some after. Before we went on shlichus, my husband asked the Rebbe ( verbally) for a brocha that ” all the yidden of ….(the country of our shlichus) should become chassidim and connected to the Rebbe.” the Rebbe immediately nodded and responded: “Amein, besuros tovos!” Amein that all Yidden should define themselves as chassidim of the Rebbe!! We all have… Read more »

    to #182
    Guest
    to #182

    don’t brake his bubble

    Love..?
    Guest
    Love..?

    Who ever said that the solution is in schools, if they dont allow kids that the father shaves and mother dresses inapropiatly tell me what solution that is? They have their own shuls, why cant they have their own schools? I am what you label Chabad Lite. I am a son of a Shliach. I was never cared for, the “shkotzim” that came to my house were more loved than I was. They cared for my Tanya Baal Pe and my Chassidus if Yeshiva from 7 AM to 9 PM being just 14 years old. It was hard for me,… Read more »

    Sholom Dovber
    Guest
    Sholom Dovber

    We are have grown into an unruly and unrulable community.
    Yes we live in hundreds of cities.
    The Shulchim for the most part are doing a fantastic job.
    The central issue to be resolved is, when will there be a next Rebbe.
    Without a human being to speak and correspond with the problems will only grow.
    A committee cannot give direction to Anash.
    The 8th generation has taken its first steps

    To the person who wrote this article
    Guest
    To the person who wrote this article

    Wasnt the Rebbe against people writing things anonymously?
    Didnt the Rebbe call it Pashkvil?
    Sounds like you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

    Going Up? / Going Down?
    Guest
    Going Up? / Going Down?

    Who are we to measure who is in the process of going up and who is in the process of going down??
    This article does not seem to be written with love but something else.
    When talking about “Chabad Lite” maybe we should concentrate on the 2nd word more and change Lite to Light – that would be more Chabad of us all, afterall aren’t we meant to be lamplighters as opposed to pushing people out of our communities?

    Countless sichos about TV
    Guest
    Countless sichos about TV

    Please point to 3 sichos

    Author's narrow perspective
    Guest
    Author's narrow perspective

    The author brings up an issue that is certainly up for discussion, however he is only looking at the issue from one angle. I can go on forever about how to view this issue from various perspectives, but rather than do that (which may make it more confusing) I will just make a few notes written as if I’m talking to the author. 1) The Gezhe/FFB turned Chabad Lite community: Whether you are looking at the young adults now, or going back a generation or two, these people grew up exactly like you. Their entire lives, families, friends etc. are… Read more »

    very nice article
    Guest
    very nice article

    agree with u

    the sadness of the internet
    Guest
    the sadness of the internet

    we are living in a time were everyone uses the internet… chabad has a site.. neshei is on facebook etc… and contrary to what some say i think the Rebbe wld be happy.. cos the outreach can be expanded!! 🙂 The sadness of the internet is that ppl feel they can write anon articles airing stuff that we have to turn a blind eye too ( remember the story of the Rebbes son asking why we have two eyes? the right to see good and the left to look away from things we should not be inspecting! ) This is… Read more »

    Chabad Lite
    Guest
    Chabad Lite

    If this is indeed such a problem – that it leads people to discuss what is good – what is bad, yet no true solution or guidelines has been offered. Perhaps its time to elect a new leader to guide in the Rebbe’s merit? Currently we are a group – that refer to old stories and books to help try lead the new generation but as we can see – groups are splintering off into their own ways and the only way to create a cohesive “lubavitch” group is to have a gaon take a leadership role.

    Lock your self up in a Ghetto...
    Guest
    Lock your self up in a Ghetto...

    I you think that what is said in this article in good, then lock your self up in a Ghetto and tell your kids that the world is bad!
    I don’t see any connection between this article and Chabad, Chassidus, and the Rebbe or even Yiddishkeit!

    Disgusted!
    Guest
    Disgusted!

    I have never commented on any article before…but i am truly disgusted by this article…yes it is important to be tznius and i encourage my children to dress and act modestly…but i have come across many people who dress “tznius” but they don’t act Tznius…all i hear these days r that people don’t dress Tznius..who r u to judge those people..they could be people Who’s homes are always open, who give endless amounts of tzedakah who do bikur cholim…all acts of chesed. and u sit there and judge these people because they’re not dressed to YOUR STANDARD!!!! WHAT A DISGRACE!!!… Read more »

    Truth
    Guest
    Truth

    The irony in this sham of an article is that the Rebbe would never have thought or acted to condine such hatred – NEVER. This article is not that of a lubavitcher nor a chassid of the rebbe. End of Story. Refuah Shalema to the author.

    To the author
    Guest
    To the author

    And you call yourself a Lubavitcher? Why are you worrying about everyone else, worry about yourself first!

    to 268
    Guest
    to 268

    The author IS worrying about himself!

    "anonymous"???
    Guest
    "anonymous"???

    You have very strong views.. Why do you hide? let us know who you are… if you are so passionate and believe so strongly why are you embarrassed?

    anonymous
    Guest
    anonymous

    As a bocour i remember farbranging with Phil, and he said the following story:
    When the iron curtain fell and people starting going over to visit, a group of bochurim went to Lubavitch.
    While there one of the locals asked what they were doing there?
    They answered what do you mean, we are Lubavitchers.
    To which he replied:
    You think you are a Lubavitcher. NO, i am a real Lubavitcher.
    Then he farbranged how we can’t be a Lubavitcher just in name…….

    a shame that this article was written
    Guest
    a shame that this article was written

    such sinas chinam, i’d hate to see this article get more positive comments. regardless of someone else’s frumkeit. there is no excuse for writing things like “all I want is for these people to detach themselves from Lubavitch” its an embarrassment to the author and the so called “mainstream”

    disgusting and repulsive
    Guest
    disgusting and repulsive

    first this person writes “I have no issue with these people; many are my friends and we get along wonderfully” then this person writes “they should separate themselves from us”. i’m sure they must get along, so long as this person hides what they really think behind a mask of anonymity

    who cares anyway
    Guest
    who cares anyway

    most of our schools arent in the crisis that you described

     Moishe machputz
    Guest
    Moishe machputz

    Sign your name or it’s a pashkvil
    Not one comment signed their name.

     true colors
    Guest
    true colors

    YISBARERU VEYISLABNU… all peoples true colors will become known who is actually a chassid

    Lubavitch
    Guest
    Lubavitch

    solution is in schools, they should teach in yiddish

    .Unconditional ahavas yisroel?
    Guest
    .Unconditional ahavas yisroel?

    no is asking you to live with them

    Don't hide...
    Guest
    Don't hide...

    No lesson can be taken from a ghost! Why couldn’t you sign your name? Perhaps you would have been more convincing? Although I highly doubt it given your “talibanesque” views and approach! Last I checked yom kippur just passed….

    What a mess!!!
    Guest
    What a mess!!!

    No one was spared. Flatbush, far rockaway, ohr sameyach!!! Lubavitchers of every stripe and color!!! So much for Ahavas yisrael.

    To 269
    Guest
    To 269

    No the autho isn’t, he’s talking about ‘those who call themselves lubavitch’ and who cares who calls themselves what. Why is it anyones business

    A QUESTION ABOUT PASHKVILIM
    Guest
    A QUESTION ABOUT PASHKVILIM

    I just don’t understand what’s the big fuss whether the author uses his name or not,the main point is to ADRESS THE ISSUES.So now that this issue has been brought to our attention,WHAT ARE WE DOING ABOUT IT ? WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT ? The fact is that the reality on the ground is that there is a “plague” rachamono litzlan affecting unzereh aigenneh kinder,and RELATIVELY speaking nothing is being done about it… (I know the Rebbe spoke against pashkvilim,but there is what to be said about “mikabel ess ho’emes mi’mi she’oymro”………. maybe someone can please please clarify… Read more »

    On this topic
    Guest
    On this topic

    see the quotes from the Rebbeim in the articles here:

    http://a-farbrengen.blogspot.com/search/label/what%20is%20a%20chossid

    #199
    Guest
    #199

    if yiou can’t see why someone with tv should be thrown out of school then you need to START learning the Rebbe’s sichos…. where have you been all these years? watching TV?

    middle class
    Guest
    middle class

    “Chabad-Lite” care about supporting their families like mentches

    re: a revolutionary change,
    Guest
    re: a revolutionary change,

    to comment 282, change starts with the author of the article, enough sinas chinam

    throw kids out of school
    Guest
    throw kids out of school

    hmmm, i think you wouldnt like it if it were your own child

    the 13 tribes (chabad lite included)
    Guest
    the 13 tribes (chabad lite included)

    the maharal (whose writings tanya is based on) writes that it is the divirsity of the 13 tribes that gives us unity (echad is gematria 13)

    AGREE 100%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Guest
    AGREE 100%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    only looking at the issue from one angle.
    Guest
    only looking at the issue from one angle.

    would you prefer to be in contact with kids whose families hold a higher standard but use “the Rebbe” as a backup for all their politics and fights?

    just putting it out there

    no true solution or guidelines has been offered.
    Guest
    no true solution or guidelines has been offered.

    just kicking everyone who is not perfect out of lubavitch

    OCD ???
    Guest
    OCD ???

    she writes: “There are training procedures that have to be fulfilled, as well as constant training, the following of strict rules”

    sounds OCD to me (chassidus is about ahavas hashem, just ask manis freidman)

    no such thing as a chabad lite
    Guest
    no such thing as a chabad lite

    whats your source? when was this phrase first used? until this article was written I never heard the phrase once.

    its like when the misnagdim called the chassidim “chassidim” while the alter rebbe wanted the them to be called baalei tshuva.

    action
    Guest
    action

    Lubavitch must invest the same energy and resources it does for chabad houses and campus programs towards the chinuch of our own children,(not allowing yeshivas like ottowa or minnesota to fold,for example…) ;until such time ,in my humble opinion,biderech hateva,–chas v’sholom,the situation will just worsen…..
    WE MUST MAKE THE CHINUCH OF OUR CHILDREN A TOP PRIORITY,this entails a revolutionary change,starting at the top (from the leaders and management),sweeping through the grass roots (all parents and youth).

    my favorite comment
    Guest
    my favorite comment

    Chabad what? 1. I know plenty of grandchildren from the “elter chasidim/ and shluchim” who are either indifferent to religion or anti-religion (one who even tries out a church once in a while). All the people who agree 100% percent what would you do if it was your own? 2. Before we try to segregate out all of the “chabad lite’ers” lets try to make an education system where they will want to sen there kids, and not just because it is the only choice. I Went to Ohile Torah, and there are many classmates who have graduated who are… Read more »

    projecting your issues
    Guest
    projecting your issues

    the Rebbe says that if someone sees a quality in someone else, it is only a reflection of what exists in oneself.

    what do u think?
    Guest
    what do u think?

    Do you honestly feel that the people living the lifestyle that you frown upon don’t have struggles with their belief?

    real questions
    Guest
    real questions

    do you agree with person who wrote this article?
    must we have to segregate ourselves from the “other” people?
    did this happen just now? where have you been all these years?
    they are Chabad what?
    have you heard ahavas yisroel?

    article masks reality
    Guest
    article masks reality

    single girls to need to adopt some of these modes of inappropriate dress. Otherwise they’re considered a Frumie.

    lubavitch was always inclusive
    Guest
    lubavitch was always inclusive

    Sometimes children wont be able to live up to their parents’ expectations

    is this for crown heights
    Guest
    is this for crown heights

    here we could have 2 schools. that would solve everyone’s problems

    i don't think we care about chitzoniyus
    Guest
    i don't think we care about chitzoniyus

    but look at this “One is not considered a special ops soldier based on them simply calling themselves one, not even based on their owning a uniform. There are training procedures that have to be fulfilled, as well as constant training, the following of strict rules etc. In Lubavitch we are the same. Just because one wears a sirtuk does not make them a Lubavitcher. The Rebbe set out guidelines of what he wanted his chassidim to look like and what type of lives he wanted them to lead.”

    If you had to choose....
    Guest
    If you had to choose....

    If you had to choose between a Chabad lite person who did no harm to another by word or deed, and a Chabad heavy who emotionally or physically hurt another, which would you think is closer to the preferred Yiddishkeit behavior? I know the author wants to literally SEE the “way”, but I prefer to LIVE the “way”. Just saying.

    To author from another LA mom
    Guest
    To author from another LA mom