by Arik Shemtov (Detroit)
The oped by Rabbi Gershon Avtzon (Is It Time to Change How We Talk of Shlichus?) and its response by Rabbi Shimon Posner (“No More Shlichus Opportunities Left”) seem to be dealing with a much more general age-old question: “Is it good to have expectations of yourself?”
“The key to happiness is low expectations,” and seeing the disappointment of those who have not fulfilled their expectations” argues the first op-ed, “maybe it’s time to lower ours.”
The response argues: “why lower our expectations, better to increase the urgency.”
I don’t know which one is right. (Neither is my English as rich as Rabbi Posner’s)
But let me suggest a third approach:
Lubavitch is not a Derech, as much as it is a Nekudah (a dot). A Derech takes you in one direction, a dot faces different directions at once. (footnote 1)
If you start from the Nekudah and only take one path, you may reach the destination of that path, but you have plucked it away from its (source, and multi-faced) Nekudah. Eventually, that path will dry up.
One path: the Rebbe has a goal, a mission, and we are his soldiers. The Rebbe’s Chinuch is Mesiras Nefesh and “who said we are meant to be comfortable” if you travel on Shlichus the Rebbe is proud of you, and if not, you missed the train, and “the least u can do about it is feel anguished…”
“The fire is burning, and we won’t lower our “expectations” until Moshiach comes.
I would venture to say that even if someone takes solely this approach (to the extreme) and succeeds, then even while on shlichus, he will not feel happy inside and always feel like he isn’t good enough…(“which is good to feel that way” they proudly argue, while pulling out 7 different Sichos Kodesh volumes to prove their point).
As the dust settles, ultimately, such a conscience will manifest in friction with others and a need to look and put down the “lower class” (since they look down at themselves), a trend which is Meracheik and gives a bitter taste to the idea of Shlichus
(please note: this is (as stated above) an extreme and obviously not the norm cha”v, but we can all relate to an extent. Just look inside yourself, even as you’re reading this, a part of your brain is subconsciously looking for a subtle flaw in what I’m writing, thereby proclaiming yourself a nuanced thinker…)
Second path: “it’s all nice and fine, just lower the volume, please. The train has boarded and filled, and you’re lucky if you get a back seat.” “Every yid is a Shliach” is the banner they carry with pride. (a term heard always ironically around the Kinnus, less so, on a Tuesday afternoon). “Shlichus is a mindset,” they tell you with an enlightened twinkle in their eye. (as if that’s less demanding than the practical term of Shlichus) and “unreasonable expectations are not good for your mental health.”
Is there a third? Is there a dot (nekuda) that can bring out how the view of Rabbi’s Avtzon/Posner is a continuation, without the compromise of the first or the heartache of the second?
Imagine a mother telling her child: “You’re a good boy, but it’s really a tough world out there, and I just don’t know if you’ll make it. Well, thankfully, there’s an extra room in our basement, so let’s get a bunk bed, and you’ll move in here with your wife…”
Imagine a mother telling her child, “it’s a tough world but you’re tougher. And lest you think you can just opt out and not live up to our prestigious family name, you should know, you’ll always be “second to the best.”
Both are sick.
But the Rebbe(2) would tell us “I see who you are, you are a Shliach already, you are a Shliach even whilst living in my basement. And therefore, the question begs: what are you doing, living forever in my basement??!!”
Expectations coming from a void (needing to prove yourself to others or yourself) is just a tormented ego mapping it’s own destruction. it will leave you feeling either dented (when lost) or swollen (when achieved) and all in all awkward and out of place with yourself and others.
But if coming from where you are already (3), it leaves no room for heartache, guilt or inferiority, It’s all an expression of where you were before you even started. If you failed the first time, just reboot and start over.
Ultimately, you know you are in the right place. And there is no lack of confidence when claiming what is yours (4,5) already (even before you married).
In such contexts, lowering the bar is just a symbol of dishonesty and a lack of trust in what you have to offer.
So too in chinuch. A teacher is one who can honestly tell his student, “I see you are a shliach even if you don’t travel on shlichus, but that’s why I know that (one day) you will”, if he can’t say that, then even when he sees a shliach, he is just looking at a costume. No wonder then, his message will sound either diluted or brutal.
You can be a modern psychologist or an old-school zealot, but the message of Lubavitch is reserved and brought through those who step out of their line and live in the “point” that takes both. Otherwise, you won’t be able to keep up.
The Rebbe taught us a “Nekudah” how to approach a yid (Something which the Mussar movement still can’t wrap their heads around): “You’re a jew and a perfect one. No matter what. As much as Moshe Rabbeinu. And that’s why you should put on Tefillin.”
It’s time we apply this method to ourselves…
Footnotes:
Likkutei sichos vol. 3 p. 969.
Leil simchat torah 5746 (an iconic sicha about shlichus, mugah in lekus”h vol. 29 p. 358)
והיינו שכל עניינו אינו אלא התפשטות מהעצם הבלתי משתנה
see Basi legani 5730 ois 6-9.
This letter is based on mayim rabim 5738, hadron on mesechto keilim 5750.
P.S. concerning the first article, I wonder if you switch the word “shlichus” for the word “Moshiach,” would the article still find a place in this generation? “Moshiach is not someone we’re actually waiting for, it’s more of an attitude and mindset,” -said no Lubavitcher ever.
SHLICHUS DISCUSSION:
+ Is It Time to Change How We Talk of Shlichus? / Rabbi Gershon Avtzon
+ “No More Shlichus Opportunities Left” / Rabbi Shimon Posner
+ As Someone Who Is Looking for Shlichus… / Arik Levin
As opposed to the other articles, which sometimes felt a little like they were pushing an agenda, this has the ring of emes to it. I also appreciate the humble tone. Yasher Koyach for a well written article.
This article makes a compelling case for at least some English instruction in our schools
I like the P.S. you write at the end.
Shlichus is mivtzas hador, till we bring Moshiach Tzidkeinu!
Nearly every article on this topic states in one way or another that every Lubavitcher is a shliach, no matter what they do for a living. This statement is silly. If it means that everyone has a mission (which in Hebrew translates as a shlichus), then all Jews, not only Lubavitchers, are shluchim. And if it means that every Lubavitcher has a mission from the Rebbe, then (1) the chassidim of any Rebbe and any era should be called shluchim, and (2) what’s the difference between a chassid and a shliach? Clearly, then, being a shliach means exactly what everyone… Read more »
Yasher Koach! Very well said.
I haven’t seen clarity and truth speak in a while.
Thank you
You should write and publish more!
I’m afraid this writer missed the whole point of the article he is discussing. Yes, every chosid is inherently a Shliach and built and raised to do the Rebbe’s Shlichus. Which is why when the idea of “doing the Rebbe’s Shlichus” is limited only to official, Merkos-authorized positions – which, however one tries to spin the situation, are extremely limited and mostly reserved for family members and those with connections – living a life that is true to one’s core feels completely out of reach. Anyone arguing that this isn’t true is either blessed to be living in a bubble… Read more »
“And then there are those for whom nothing seems to work out in typical “Shlichus” or in Chinuch. They have sincerely tried for years. At some point it becomes obvious it’s not bashert.” %100 yes. but is that a “path”?! should we not teach our kids about marriage because some ppl can find their “bashert”?! your point is similar to those who said we should compromise on torah in America cause otherwise we would have nothing. the point of the article is not show the importance of traveling on shlichus (for that you should do some research in the rebbes… Read more »
Whoever wants to misunderstand is welcome to do so. It’s time we make a distinction between the Rebbe’s authentic message and the age-old problem of elitism that uses Torah and Kedusha as a cloak. The Talmidei Chachomim of hundreds of years ago were also very threatened when the Baal Shem Tov said they are not “better Yidden” than those serving Hashem sincerely without their special opportunities and gifts. And for context, I am writing as someone who invests his life in the Chinuch of Lubavitch young adults, doing all I can to impress upon them this “nekudah” that they have… Read more »
I’m sorry but a generation was destroyed with this message. The Baal Shemtov and the Rebbe are gifts to us from Hashem to inspire us and lift us up in our avodas Hashem. unfortunately our gifts have been used by many as an albatross to force people into a certain derech of “be the Rebbe’s Shliach”. A whole generation has been brainwashed by teachers and mashpim that they must do this shlichus or that shlichus because that’s what the Rebbe expects. We’ve created bitter people (I won’t call them chasidim because bitterness is the antithesis of a chosid) who feel… Read more »
“And then there are those for whom nothing seems to work out in typical “Shlichus” or in Chinuch. They have sincerely tried for years. At some point it becomes obvious it’s not bashert.” %100 yes. but is that a “path”?! should we not teach our kids about marriage because some ppl can find their “bashert”?! your point is similar to those who said we should compromise on torah in America cause otherwise we would have nothing. the point of the article is not show the importance of traveling on shlichus (for that you should do some research in the rebbes… Read more »
yes, the writer may be talking from a bubble. but why don’t u do the research yourself. see how the rebbe looks at you and what could become of you, trust in him and then plan big. if u fail, retreat back to yourself and start over.
at the end of the day , life belongs to those who take risks and leave their box.
if you settle for less, maybe you are also living in denial or in your bubble…
choose life, its yours already.
” living a life that is true to one’s core feels completely out of reach.”
i think you should stop reading op-ed’s and go learn some chasiduss
Maybe you should write an op-Ed about how people shouldn’t read op-eds. Practice what you preach mister
How about you live your life like “normal” religious jewish person, in any community; learn torah do mitzvos, do chesed, (3 “pillars”) and work with whatever you can sustain your family (if you have an opportunity to learn something that will give parnosa, really why not?), And (here comes the nucleus of my post: ) If the Rebbe needs you to go/do something for him, that involves moving/changing big your lifetime, then you have your shlichus. And from there you make your decisions I know the last years the Rebbe stopped calling each one personally. But if you really believe… Read more »