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I am a Frum From Birth Baal Teshuva

From the COLlive inbox: “If there’s even a single Lubavitcher yeshiva bochur who doesn’t believe this, we have not done our job properly…” Full Story

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Well written
June 27, 2022 10:14 pm

Firstly – you are not the only one feeling what you felt. So many bochurim are taught unofficially: what does chassidus have to do with me? Its separate from me. Even though we are taught from the alter Rebbe- we have to live with the times. Making yiddishkeit PART OF OUR DAILY LIVES, not separate. Unfortunately it’s a taboo topic not to discuss it between fellow peers but you would be shocked how many bochurim feel the same. Secondly: it’s a mindset. If you make the Rebbeim PART of your life not formal but personal, the Rebbe reciprocates and you… Read more »

May I Suggest
June 27, 2022 10:26 pm

Rabbi Avrohom Gerlitzky wrote a letter after Gimmel Tamuz to a student. The gist of the letter is we have to go back to the basics. Basic Torah and Mitzvos, Davening with a Minyan, developing a Geshmak in a Blatt Gemara, being careful about what goes in and out of one’s mouth and treating your family & freinds with love and kindnesss. Charity starts at home if we don’t fortify ourselves we can’t affect other. Unfortunately history has already shown us that we can’t bring up a generation on a video Rebbe alone. It’s time for action, to put in… Read more »

This letter
Reply to  May I Suggest
June 28, 2022 9:09 am

Where can I find this letter

A fellow bochur
June 27, 2022 11:07 pm

Wow! Very accurate and incredible insight !
Thank you for sharing !
If only more people were as open and outspoken as you !
Thank you so much for sharing , it is very important and relevant to each and every one of us on our own level!

June 27, 2022 11:09 pm

I would love to know which yeshiva you switched to! So I should do the right choice for my kids

I also want to know
Reply to  Yeshiva
June 28, 2022 7:57 am

Me too!

Reply to  Yeshiva
June 28, 2022 9:08 am

Yeshiva Lubavitch Toronto

Reply to  anonymous
June 28, 2022 12:48 pm

Best Yeshiva in the world!!

June 27, 2022 11:17 pm

This is very beautiful. Can I ask which Yeshiva you switched to that made the difference for you?

smart phone
June 27, 2022 11:20 pm

if you are a bochur and have a smart phone you are doomed. you know it! there is no way you can have a smartphone and live a productive life (life of connection)it’s in your hands pun intended.
you are wiring your mind for life do yourself a favor and get rid of your smart phone today.

Girls too
Reply to  smart phone
June 28, 2022 1:46 am

There is so much emphasis on the negative impacts of boys having phones but no one bats an eyelash when a teenage girl has a phone. There really needs to be much more awareness about the dangers of technology and the internet for girls as well

Reply to  smart phone
June 28, 2022 11:19 am

But it’s okay for you?

Few stuff to say.
June 27, 2022 11:44 pm

Really well written and something that had to be said. I have just a few points Of my own that I want to add. Another thing is that it all depends on the teacher. If you don’t have a good teacher for chassidus, it’s all lost. I’m in high school, and I really dislike my Tanya teacher. And it’s a real shame, bc I hear how amazing Tanya is and I really do want to learn it, just when this teacher teaches it it makes me dislike like it and not listen to the Tanya being taught. Another point, these… Read more »

Ok so you didn’t have a good teacher.
Reply to  Few stuff to say.
June 28, 2022 1:10 am

Or you had a good teacher just she wasn’t fit for you, whatever the case is the Tanya is your MOST. POWERFUL. TOOL. Do NOT let some teacher have control over you. Don’t let anyone limit your hiskashrus and chassidish way of living. Don’t let anyone dampen your mindset. This year I had a Tanya teacher who I thought was a really good person but I didn’t relate to what she was saying at all. I wasn’t going to let that limit me so I set up a chavrusa to learn Tanya with after school. I can’t explain it. This… Read more »

Do it yourself? Great idea!
Reply to  Ok so you didn’t have a good teacher.
July 3, 2022 4:01 am

Setting up a chavrusa is a great idea. If what you want doesn’t exist, organize it yourself!

Reply to  Few stuff to say.
July 4, 2022 8:37 pm

I think the reason it’s hard for you is that the cell phone changes your brain and makes focus hard.

If you want focus and you understand how preciousit is to learn without distraction, get rid of the phone while in Yeshiva.

Couldn’t agree more
June 27, 2022 11:46 pm

As someone who had learned from the best in Hafotzas Hamaayanot, and have became Lubavitch through learning Tanya, it disappointed and saddened me when my child and my child’s classmates couldn’t relate to their Tanya teacher and Tanya class.
Our children shouldn’t be deprived.

I'm guessing it's beis Menachem Wilkes-Barre
June 27, 2022 11:56 pm

I hope more Yeshivas would model after Wilkes-Barre. It’s a place of sincerity, vulnerability with true Ahavas Yisroel. They have one goal and that is how to help the student connect to their Neshama and help them to bravely face their struggles in an growth minded way.

Reply to  I'm guessing it's beis Menachem Wilkes-Barre
June 28, 2022 12:49 pm

Not Wilkes Barre, it’s Toronto

How do you know?
Reply to  Toronto
June 28, 2022 1:08 pm

Are you the one who wrote the article or are you just assuming?

Reply to  How do you know?
June 28, 2022 11:12 pm

I didn’t write the article but I could have because my story is the same.

Well said
June 28, 2022 12:16 am

Why is it that Chabad Shluchim are known across the world for speaking about Judaism in terms that regular, secular people can relate to, but many Mashpiim in the best Chabad yeshivos are out of touch with their bochurim?

Reply to  Well said
June 28, 2022 10:18 am

Shluchim have to keep their jobs through their community. Otherwise there will be no income. Mashpiim get paid a teachers salary which is little and if they “lose their job” there is always another one within the community. They take advantage of that so no need to shvitz.

I'm a girl and I agree
June 28, 2022 12:34 am

I’m from a frum family, I went to Bais Rivkah, I never hated Yiddishkeit, some things felt like an inconvinience, definitely struggles, but I was fine. Being Jewish was just a description, it was whatever. It was only when I was in camp, I talked to people, had real candid discussions that school never bothered to have did I realize that it is my life. That it is mine. That it is beautiful and important to live a meaningful and Chassidish life. That the Rebbe is relevant to me and that every good deed matters tremendously. Schools and teachers and… Read more »

It’s not a matter of not telling you.
Reply to  I'm a girl and I agree
June 28, 2022 1:25 am

It’s really a matter of listening. It makes sense that you really internalized what everyone was saying in camp. I did too. I heard the exact same things in school from my teachers but unfortunately the dynamic in school is that teachers are no fun and they’re out to get you and everything about them is wrong. It took hearing it from a fun, caring counselor (this is a counselor relationship which is very different than a teacher-student relationship) to actually internalize what was going on. As i was going into high school I became more and more aware that… Read more »

The best teachers are advisers, not authoritarians
Reply to  It’s not a matter of not telling you.
July 3, 2022 4:10 am

Maybe the counselors’ teaching is effective because the counselors come from a place of advising rather than imposing and enforcing rules. Counselors treat teenagers as the young adults they are (in the spiritual sense). Maybe that’s the most effective approach to teaching teenagers.

Agree with lots of what you said but not the title
June 28, 2022 5:04 am

Bs”d Until Moshiach comes things will not be perfect, and it is not fair or correct to say that if there is even one person who doesn’t think in the way you described that we have not done our job properly. Throughout Jewish history there have been those that have struggled, in some generations more and in some less, and while we must continue to put in effort to reach out to each and every person, until Moshiach comes there will be those that struggle with their beliefs. It’s also extremely important to remember the role that technology, social media,… Read more »

June 28, 2022 6:53 am

The mainstream way that yiddishkeit and chassidus are taught in our education system is not down to earth, practical or relatable.

Chassidus exists in some sort of bubble of “things we don’t fully understand”.

We find much more practical guidance and inspiration from the many self-help books and podcasts available than anything we ever learnt in Yeshiva

Reply to  Fact
June 28, 2022 8:46 am

The Baal Shem Tov made it accessible to everyone. This is not Zohar or Kabbalah. This is chassidus. Question is are you in denial? Certain maamarim/sichos are literally talking straight at YOU! Do you believe that the Rebbe is talking to you? Or are you being distracted and thinking about something else while learning? Focus your mind into it. It’s hard at first and then it gets easier. But its upto YOU.

Achei Temimim?
June 28, 2022 9:26 am

Was the new yeshiva named Achei? I’m in Achei and it’s the best decision it my life

New Haven Zal
June 28, 2022 11:26 am

I bet it’s New Haven Zal!

June 28, 2022 1:17 pm

I believe before settling on the name Chabad for the Chassidus the Alter Rebbe wanted to designate his movement by the name Baalei Teshuva. Fate would have it that the name wasn’t chosen but a hava amina in Torah is also emes mand you were mechaven to the Alter Rebbe’s hava amina.

Missing the point
June 28, 2022 1:19 pm

Original author here.

To all those asking or assuming which yeshiva I was talking about, you’re missing the point. The point isn’t to promote or bash any specific place, it’s to encourage every yeshiva and school to work on this.

Thanks everyone for the kind words.

Thought provoking
June 28, 2022 2:10 pm

Very sensitive young man. Most people don’t have that introspection at such a young age… it takes them until their 40s and 50s to figure out what you have as a teenager. So believe me when I say that you are way ahead of a lot of adults.

My generation felt very lost with the Rebbe’s physical passing, but your generation is stronger than ours and is able to connect deeper and higher, and that is something that is quite inspirational.

May you go from mchayil el choyil

Reply to  Thought provoking
July 1, 2022 1:19 am

I don’t mean to take away anything from the original author, but this is the story of SO MANY bochurim out there in all different yeshivos, most are just scared to share it because they think they will get judged badly or they just fry out, but if you show you actually care and try to talk to the bochurim you will find LOTS of bochurim with this exact same or similar stories

Moshe M
June 28, 2022 4:23 pm

This generation could go either way (Chassidish or “Fray”) because of our neshamos in contrast to previous generations which were either one way or another. The older generation will never get it we have to teach them!

June 29, 2022 5:17 pm

looking to hire for an event
do you have a buisness card?

helpful to realize
July 4, 2022 10:49 am

bs”d Not all teachers, even those who are known to be most wonderful, are gifted with the on-the-spot interpersonal sensitivity to be able to pick up when a listener or student is struggling, or what he/she is struggling with; so in that case it’s important to recognize the maalot that such teacher has, in order to be able to continue to benefit from what he/she can, and has been chosen to, provide, but also pray, earnestly, often, and long, that Hashem will send a teacher, chaver, or other helper, who truly does understand and can get the struggling person past… Read more »