Dear Parents,
Chanukah is now over, the excitement will soon wear off and we will all be looking on to the rest of the year. I’d like to ask you all, did you say thank you to your child/ren’s teacher yet this year?
If you did, that is fabulous! If you didn’t, I totally understand since I am a parent myself. There are many, many reasons you may not have said thank you yet. Perhaps you participated in you school’s PTA Chanukah gelt towards the teachers and you think that’s enough.
Perhaps you are so overwhelmed and busy with your children and job that it slipped your mind. Perhaps your child isn’t so happy this year, so you just didn’t feel like it.Or you simply didn’t realize why a thank you is necessary.
As a teacher, wife of a teacher and daughter of teachers, I’d like to share what kind of appreciation is meaningful to a teacher. Respecting your child’s teacher is the most important, I will not go into the what and how of that now.
Verbally expressing “thank you,” through a phone call, writing a card, or an e-mail mean the world to a teacher. Teachers usually save each one of the above because of how valuable they are and how few they get. Having your child draw a picture, add stickers to the card or share what they appreciate about the teacher adds meaning. If you can add something you baked or a small or large gift that is always appreciated as well. There are many other staff in the school system that directly influence or help your child who would appreciate a thank you. The principal of course, the bus driver, the gym teacher, the office staff, the nurse etc.
What prompted me to write this was that this year I saw very clearly that the main reason parents don’t say thank you is because they surely must not realize how much the teachers do for their children. We all know it is basic mentchlichkiet to say thank you to those who do something for us. From the UPS delivery guy, to the babysitter, to someone who voluntarily offered to help you or watch your children. This year on Chanukah, out of out of 22 parents, I received 5 small gifts each with a thank you note. I soon realized that each of these were from super busy moms, 3 working full time, and 4 out of 5 were teachers in my school. In addition, 2 of those teachers happen to teach my own children. Clearly, a parent who is also a teacher realizes that it would be impolite not to say thank you, for they truly understand the effort a teacher puts in; I’m sure the other parents do not yet realize this.
The school’s Chanukah gelt is appreciated and appropriate and would not be possible without the parents in many cases, however it doesn’t take the place of a personal thank you.
I’d like to take a moment to bring to light what most teachers, to varying degrees, are doing for your children. Please do not post comments about teachers who you feel are incompetent. I know they exist, but for the most part, even if you aren’t super happy with your child’s teacher, they are putting in tremendous effort that deserves to be recognized.
The life of a teacher
Similar to a parent, a teacher is always thinking about each and every student, brainstorming howto teachand motivate them.
Many teachers are actively reading every latest teaching book available, attend workshops, spend their summers preparing, all to be up-to-date on the latest out there,in case they come up with yet one more good idea for your child.
Many teachers spend hours and hours of unpaid time each evening preparing lessons and shopping for your child’s class.
Many teachers are using their own maasser and even personal money to buy prizes, visual aids, treats, arts & crafts materials, and things to organize and beautify your child’s classroom.
Many teachers spend hours in the evening talking to parents on the phone, sending e-mails or texting parents with reports of their child’s behavior.
Let’s not forget the hours it takes to fill out report cards, prepare for parent-teacher conferences and attend them, as well as back-to-school night, and staying late to organize and clean the classroom.
Many teachers treat your child as you would treat them, with love, care and concern.
Most teachers (I hope) exercise tremendous patience and respect while disciplining your child through some of the greatest disruptions and disrespect.
Many teachers are up at 5 AM or earlier to prepare for your child’s class.
Many teachers arrange extra-curricular special programs, farbrengens, or trips for your child’s class.
A teacher’s job is very inflexible. That means they need to be there every day at the same time with almost no ability to take care of important phone calls or appointments which add tremendous strain.
And the list goes on and on. There is literally no end to the effort that most teachers put into their classes. If you really wanted to say thank you each time your child’s teacher did something for your child, the way you would to anyone else who does something for you, you would need to do so a few times a day.
Any teacher that stays in the job will tell you that we don’t do it for appreciation. There is so much unnoticed (under)paid work, voluntary work and physical and mental exhaustion that goes into teaching, that if teachers relied on the appreciation of others we simply wouldn’t be able to continue.Although it isn’t easy, teachers learn to endorse and encourage themselves. I personally wake up each morning and tell Hashem and the Rebbe that I’m doing this for their children, ‘cause I know they care.
Similar to parenting, there are days that things go well in the classroom, and there are days full of challenges. We understand that we are caring for your diamonds, and therefore it’s hard for you to always be in full control or see the teacher’s perspective when your child is unhappy about something. If a teacher is new at it, chance are he/she is not yet getting the results that they’d like and receiving much negative feedback. New teachers deserve extra kindness, empathy, and encouragement from parents as they get started, even if you’re not thrilled with the results.
Every moment of a teacher’s (and principal’s) time is precious. If your child is presenting extra challenges beyond the norm, it is above and beyond the call of duty for a teacher to be spending hours and hours tending to your child’s needs. If they do however, it is extremely important and appropriate to show appreciation with a tip. If they would charge you for their time, you may not be able to afford it, but not showing some extra Hakaras Hatov, I feel, is inappropriate.
Dear parents, after reading the above, I hope you realize yourself how much a thank you would mean to a teacher, and how it’s truly an obligation for all parents to take the time to express a personal thank you to each and every one of their children’ s teachers and assistants (who are usually very overworked and underpaid). If you haven’t said thank you yet, it is not too late. Act now!
There is no need for a teacher to write a thank you note for a thank you card and money age received. You the parent ste thanking her!!
Im on the same page as you! I love my kids(Grade 1). But i appreciate when the
parents come to PTA & sincerely thank me
Unless ur a teacher, it’s difficult to relate
As a teacher, it is clear that you have absolutely no idea what goes in to a day of teaching. Any good teacher is putting in hours a day in preparation, making worksheets and tests, report cards, following up with parents and principals and catering to each individual student. This all takes hours out of a teachers personnel time which they are NOT getting paid for. Since they are spending so much of their own time on your child its only fair to say thank you. Most other jobs are not putting in anything close to what a teacher needs… Read more »
Don’t be stingy at the expense of your child. Show the teacher how grateful you are for all the work they put in to giving your child important life skills. Seriously… I am a teacher and very happy doing my job, but I do have to say that when I receive gifts/money, I feel much more appreciated. #12 – you are 100% right. Although I love my job, teaching isn’t the best paying job out there. When going for my education degree, I knew I wasn’t going into a well-paid profession (unless I would work in public school), nevertheless, I… Read more »
Teaching is NOT the hardest or worst paid job out there. Enough with the pity party and demands. Teachers get ten times more vacation than anyone else and most of them are sending their kids to school for free. So even if you’re not getting paid at all, if your tuition is covered and you have tons of vacation, you’re doing better than most of us! And if you’re still struggling, instead of expecting the parents to give you money gifts multiple times per year, GET A DIFFERENT JOB!!! Oh, and it is EXTREMELY rude for teachers not to thank… Read more »
I am a ‘mature’ teacher. When I first began teaching I put in hours of preparation. Now that I am older and I usually teach the same grades each year, I put in about 15 minutes less prep each week. This is mostly because I can get my illustrations for my worksheets online and not draw them free hand. Each class of children is different and most teachers I know prepare for each individual child in his/her class. I am not going to complain about my pay, BH this year I was paid in full on time… I do want… Read more »
After many years of teaching I did recieve many thank you cards and gifts of appreciation from parents but my best present is when meeting the child he/she as a adult Iknowing that I had some input in their life, The bonus is when they remember me that I was their teacher in the nursery,
Thank you for this welcome reminder! I appreciate each thank-you note, no matter how small or poorly written, that I get from my students and their parents. I’m a little appalled at myself for overlooking the fact that I should do the same for my own children’s teachers! Of course I thank them warmly in person, but a note is something tangible to hold on to. Better add it to my to-do list for this week…after I finish preparing my lessons…!
a) We canlearn Hakoras Hatoiv from our Rebbe in more ways than 1…………b).& as a teacher myself i had a parent who just wrote a beautiful TY LETTER…..thats all…… & that was also very appreciated!
Sometimes I feel granite kitchen countertops are more important than the ones that spend time with your most precious possessions “your children”! If our children see that we’re grateful for the important things in life(not kitchen countertops or hairdos…) this will be a great lesson for them that they see that we’re grateful to other people and perhaps could learn how to be grateful also.
go bus drivers they deserve it also as well as bus monitors thank you all amazing dont forget them they really work hard ty
A happy teacher translates into a happy class. What responsible parent wouldn’t do for their child!
When thanking a teacher please remember the teacher’s assistant also. In many cases he/she is in the classroom with your child more hours than the teacher. They are the ones who tie your child’s shoes, open their snack, comfort them when they get hurt or are just sad. They care for your child who got sick, until you pick them up, etc, etc,etc.
I’m sorry to tell u this, but as a teacher I can tell u that many of the things u say are wrong. Not all teachers r getting a descent salary or even getting paid on time what we r owed. And no we r not all getting these discounts and benefits u speak of. And many of the teachers spend their whole evening preparing and good teachers r always looking to enhance their material and teaching and don’t stop after the first year. That doesn’t mean to say that other jobs don’t deserve a thank u or any form… Read more »
The support you give the teacher (ANY support), directly increases the enthusiasm, quality and love your dear child receives from his or her teacher.
I taught for years and really appreciated thank you cards at the end of the year . Chanukah gelt is for children . Like everything else in America a nice gesture has become blown up so out of hand that no one can afford it . With Baruch Hashem . So manny teachers and such High tuition it has gone totally out of hand the expectations on parents for Chanukah . While lol Hakovod to the mother who wrote the thank you note to the teacher thanking them but apologies for no gift . Most parents are too imbareesed to… Read more »
Where do you get your facts? Nothing you said made sense!
Did you copy and paste from a discussion about public school teachers?
And no prep after one year??? If that is the kind of school you send your kids to, I have pity on them….
Thank you parents for all your good wishes and gifts. For the record, our last pay check was from October 25. That’s seven weeks late. Our salary is based on living standards of 20-30 years ago. The notes you write, are very powerful and appreciated. True, the real thanks is the knowledge and satisfaction that only a teacher can get from results and a smile on your dear child’s face.
Boruch Hashem I am a teacher and a parent. Being a teacher helps me appreciate how much work my children’s teachers put into their chinuch. I therefore use every opportunity to show my appreciation to them and thank them.
Meir
BS”D to # 5 great answer to number # 3 and to # 3 the writer did not seek a “continuous” thank you as you write (that’s what happens when one is bent on criticism – they distort words) and yes it is also appropriate to thank you those you mentioned. Never will understand why if one does not want to follow the advise offered in a column ( in this case thank their dear children’s teacher) they can’t
merely refrain from following the advise offered,but also have to offer criticism of the writer or the writers advise
are you kidding? teachers are underpaid? they work part time, they have off summer holidays and do not put in a 8 hour work week (after the first year they dont even need to prepare anything) they gell very well paid for what the average teacher makes in the US, they are workers just like anyone else in this country and most workers do not get what teachers get. PLUS they get all the benefits which is another 20k when most of us who make less then teachers do not get any benefits and need to pay for our food… Read more »
We can argue if one is on salary whether they need to receive gifts and Chanuka gelt as well. If they went out on a limb, beyond the call of your duty for your child, then giving a token of appreciation, is in order. What about those who aren’t on salary and have a thankless job such as shadchan? Aren’t they deserving of Chanuka gelt and more ?!
I’m not sure where you get your information from or even if you’re 100% right, but you sound very resentful. Teaching isn’t just a few hours a day – we spend literally hours in preparation. Some teachers have a colossal amount of grading (a high school English teacher for example.) I’m surprised nobody has mentioned the obscene amounts of vacation we get. I can’t speak for everyone, but I use vacations (including summer) for reviewing & preparing for next year. The only times I refuse to work are chol hamoed. It’s very nice when parents show their appreciation, Yes, we… Read more »
TRUTHFULLY HOW UPSETTING IT IS THAT THE TEACHER DO NOT GET PAID,WE ALWAYS PAID FULL TUTITON FOR ALL OUR CHILDREN,WE NEVER HAD A PENNY IN OUR POCKETS,SOMETIMES I HAD TO BORROW FOR SOMETHING NESSARY,NO CAR,NO HOME,ALTHROUGH NOW WE LIVE IN A CONDO,ALWAYS SICK FROM THE BUILDINGS,TRUTHFULLY,BELIEVE IT OR NOT IT’S SAYS IN THE S.A THAT WE SHOULD NOT SAY THANK YOU,I WAS SURPISED,PERHAPS THIS IS AN AMERICAN THING?
I grew up in public school, where there was no such thing as giving gifts to teachers or bus drivers, and there was not much contact between parents and teachers unless there was a significant behavior problem. I was so glad someone told me early on that I needed to give Chanukah gelt to teachers, etc. Also, there was one principal who for years was unfriendly toward me, until I realized this person was sort of waiting for a warm thank you for all the hard work (not that my kids were causing problems — they weren’t). When I got… Read more »
I understand the importance of saying thank you, but what does that have to do with Chanukah?
When did Chanukah become a time of gift giving?
My suspicion is that it is the influence of the secular ‘holiday’ and new year.
Last I checked Chanukah involved giving Chanukah GELT to your children to teach the importance of learning Torah.
We should thank our children’s teachers in March, April and May as well.
I give bus drivers, Teachers, therapist every year! And a nice amount! But Do I get a tip from my job?? Does my husband get tipped from his job?? NO Besides…bh bh In OT the teachers get paid very nicely ..and they get to be put on half on and half off so they can reap all the Benefits.
I understand the frustration that many of you feel as it is similar being a Rehab Medical Professional. I work with some VERY difficult patients often times angry patients due to their changed situation. But I’m a medical professional because I love what I do. Granted, as a licensed professional I do earn a lot more money that teachers in crown heights – however I never expect nor ask my patients or their families for presents, etc. I feel that it is innapropriate and unprofessional for you (the author) to ask for presents. Anyway, much luck to you and your… Read more »
People, we cannot thank the teachers of our children enough. Period. There is no discussion about it. You want thank you for your chanukah gelt? Better don’t give it.
Every single one of my students gave something this Chanukah and we thanked each and every parents individually with a card within a couple of days. I think the writer is correct. One year money was very tight so I wrote a thank you card with a really nice message and apologized for not being in the position to give a gift. It’s not the amount or size of the gift, it’s the fact that they remember us and thank us.
I sent in Chanuka Gelt for the Teachers. The Teachers called and/or sent Thank you notes.
Don’t forget the afternoon teachers. They also dedicate themselves to your children.
Stay at home mums!!!
That is exactly why the children are the way they are today bc the don’t have parents who know how to say thank you !! A little thank you goes a long way !!! Nobody is asking for money or gifts , just a little bit of appreciation ! What is wrong with you people !!!!
I was tought that one should say thank u , not to ask for a thank u!
I am a teacher for close to 40 years, and yes, we work hard, we put our soul into our students.But teachers get a grip,please.we do not work harder than most other people and we get thank yous here and there.Parents have many things on their mind and going on in their life.Many work many hours themselvves and are very grateful to the teachers and show appreciation thru class gifts etc.How many have the time to write thank you notes to many teachers! Many parents will say a good word if they bump into the teachers or are grateful wihtout… Read more »
As a teacher the reason I don’t say thank you to parents for the chanuka gelt: like the author wrote not many of you parents actually give which means we don’t get much… We also don’t get told who gave. All we get us an envelope with the $ and happy chanuka. I don’t want to thank a parent (who didn’t give) and embarras them..
Also the point of the arrtical it doesn’t have to be something big even just a letter.. A means the world to us teachers that the parents are actually thinking abt the work we do!
BS”D to # 5 great answer to number # 3 and to # 3 the writer did not seek a “continuous” thank you as you write (that’s what happens when one is bent on criticism – they distort words) and yes it is also appropriate to thank you those you mentioned. Never will understand why if one does not want to follow the advise offered in a column ( in this case thank their dear children’s teacher) they just can’t refrain from giving thanks without criticizing the writer or the writers advise
Teachers, out of most professions, are underpaid. Teachers are the ones who are raising the next generation, shouldn’t their hard and important work show up in their salaries???
…well, guess what. They get paid nothing compared to the important work they do.
Thus, the least we could do as parents, is show them a small token of appreciation by giving some Chanukah/ end of the year gelt. As a parent and teacher, I can tell you that it means a lot.
when you get your salary to you send a thank you note to your superior????????? well, this is exactly what the teacher feels like because either way he’s doing one of the most important jobs in the world, of raising your child, and gets under paid, so the gift etc. is not felt so much as a gift but as a must…… to #3 im glad you know a little about what teachers go through, but i hate to brake it to you, most parents dont, so this article is very important, either way, this article is beutiful, and just… Read more »
If you think your child’s teacher is on the same level as your super, garbage men…then no.
Think before you comment!
really????
I was thinking the same thing, but I just didn’t want to say anything.
Running a school bus company in Toronto for 30 years now we also like atleast our Haimesh bus drivers to get appreciation although some schools and their families really do although most do not sadly enough.MS
Weird comment
maybe you compare your kids’ teachers to garbage and delivery men. i consider my daughter more than the morning trash and a fedex package.
So boring and repetitious! Glad u say thank u. Have us in mind!
As a mom I often thank the teachers but this article is unnecessary.. How often do they need to be thanked?
Should we also continuously thank our super, garbage men and delivery guys ? We do it when we feel the time is right
Thank You for publishing this article…I find it so important to thank those who partner with me in raising my (IYH) chassidishe kids. I want to publicly thank Rabbi Levi Gajer, and Rabbi Benjamin for the time and effort you put into my boys. I also want to say thanks to Devi and Chaya in the Oholei Menachem office that are always there for me, and my kids, and I will never run out of gratitude for Rabbi Meir Shimshoni, a menahel par excellence who can tell each parent of his 325 students where their child is holding, and how… Read more »
i have sent chanukah gelt and other gifts during the year to my childrens teachers for years and have never gotten a thank you from them that they got the money and gifts, it would be nice if the teachers showd the parents that they appreciate the chanukah gelt and gifts