ב"ה
Wednesday, 22 Heshvan, 5780
  |  November 20, 2019

Dating a Gift, Possibly a Bashert

From the COLlive inbox: A single Chabad woman shares her brief thought process before the first date - after years of dating. Full Story

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Dr. Levi Lehv, 76, OBM

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Jems
Guest
Jems

All bochurim are sparkling gifts from the aibishter. If only you would look at the boy you are dating as a bracelet bedecked with rubies and emeralds your whole date with have a different hue. Just as a bracelet goes round so does the words you say especially to yourself and especially in this time period.

May all gifts find their unique wrapping paper and gift shop so that they may be in the right place at the right time to build a everlasting gift to the world at large.

Wow
Guest
Wow

That was beautiful, mode of this good attitude should be shared!

Fantastic!
Guest
Fantastic!

May you find your bashert quickly and easily!!

Just my thoughts
Guest
Just my thoughts

As a single, 25 year old boy, I’ve found that having an initial first “phone-call-date” is extremely helpful. Ultimately, the first date is really there to see if the 2 of us “click” and it doesn’t need to have any more added stress of being semi uncomfortable meeting for the first time. Over the phone, you can tell if you click, and then if you do, you can set up a proper date to meet in person. I am not expressing these thoughts to save money, which it does, rather to save on emotional well-being. I can list more than… Read more »

👍👍
Guest
👍👍

Tfs!!

Very nice thoughts
Guest
Very nice thoughts

Positive, healthy attitude, Besuras Tovas!

Fantastic!
Guest
Fantastic!

May you find your bashert quickly and easily!!

Yr absolutely right!
Guest
Yr absolutely right!

Very well said, we all need to view dating in this light. A shift in prospective can be a game- changer in your quest for the right match. Yasher Koach
B.A.F.

Very nice thoughts & positive, healthy attitude,
Guest
Very nice thoughts & positive, healthy attitude,

Besuras Tovas!

Proud of you
Guest
Proud of you

Some of us “Unshadchonim” have you in our thoughts and minds. Keep up the great attitude. ..Hashem is the Only Shadchon

Thank you
Guest
Thank you

Thank you so much!
This perspective is so helpful.

What's a "loser"
Guest
What's a "loser"

Beautiful and meaningful. But why are they losers? Because you didn’t like them?

Attn 4
Guest
Attn 4

As a 28 year old single girl, I have to disagree. Phone dates are terrible. Not only do they lack an emotional connection, but people’s voices tend to sound differently.

A Chassidic Favor
Guest
A Chassidic Favor

(Using) English so everyone understands)In addition to viewing each person with a “good eye”, a wise friend advised that when two names are mentioned for each other, down on this earth, Hashem wants each one to do a “chassidic favor” for the other, even if the two never speak! It’s amazing how this helps to move each out of the emotional hurt or dissappointment and forward to each one”s bashert. No more “Why did this happen to me?”

No.# 12
Guest
No.# 12

I think that’s the point, she changed her nervous negative outlook or perspective. Every Jew is special and perfect for their unique mission on this earth. She’s going to be humble, appreciative & open even though they may not be beshert. Maybe he or she might even know someone that is! Schoyach!

Whats ur number?
Guest
Whats ur number?

Sounds like a great girl, how can i contact her?

to #4
Guest
to #4

You are right but couldnt it be that you dont click on the phone but do click in person? You want to give yourself a better chance to click with the person that sometimes doesnt even happen after first date bc you dont need an instant click, just a click. I think whats more important is better research, devise the questions, key questions that when answered will tell you does this person have the same outlook and vision for their life that you have for yours, and that is most effective when you have a friend speak to that person… Read more »

I agree!
Guest
I agree!

Finally “secret to success” has been revealed. It requires HUMILITY and great appreciation for all of Hashem’s children in order to find your bashert, get married and stay happily married!

attitude is everything
Guest
attitude is everything

I had very similar experiences as the writer so after a while I had absolutely no great expectation for the date so if my date was good and both of us had a positive time together it was good if not then I didn’t give up it was time to move on and hope for the best.

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