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Sunday, 14 Iyyar, 5779
  |  May 19, 2019

    Consequences of Being Rude

    From the COLlive inbox: I'm 17, in high school, and I now know the meaning, implications, and ramifications of rudeness. Full Story

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    L’Chaim: Grunblatt – Spalter

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    so true
    Guest
    so true

    these things RL happen so often

    Impressed!
    Guest
    Impressed!

    What an honest open admission!
    Shes really given all of us “food for thought” . .
    and Im , more than sure, that such a sincere apology is forgiven! Thank you for sharing, as a result many of us will think twice now, before letting out comments or statements without thinking first! Amazing that she was si honest with herself!
    Really impressed!

    shake it off!
    Guest
    shake it off!

    saying “excuse me” doesn’t give you the right to push! especially if you think i wasn’t heard!!!

    wow!
    Guest
    wow!

    This is poshut a gevaldike article. It brings me such nachas to see mentchlichkeit even in this bitter golus. We need moshiach amen!
    P.s. I hv a zeeseh 19 year old einikel who has a lot of middos tovos just like you. Maybe you should look into it?

    You are human....
    Guest
    You are human....

    Humans err. It is ok, don’t let yourself get to depressed or obsessed with this scenario. Take the lesson that you have learned and treasure it forever. Move on, look ahead. You are now a better person with a greater understanding.

    beautiful
    Guest
    beautiful

    Very nice to see middos tovos like this. Many adults nowadays cant admit to things like that. and to #3, the article is trying to push ahavas yisroel, not sinah

    To #4
    Guest
    To #4

    lol ur so funny

    Suuuuuuch
    Guest
    Suuuuuuch

    A Crown Heightser.

    totally amazing
    Guest
    totally amazing

    1st of all i completely agree with # 7 on a more serious note I’ve done it and i’m sure everyone has and the best thing to do about it is if you are caught talking about some one and they hear apologize be a mentch dont just ignore the fact that you erred and im sure they will understand and forgive and forget

    wooooooow.
    Guest
    wooooooow.

    now thts the teshuvah in itself.
    feeling bad about it. posting it here
    and working so tht others dont do the same mistake.
    impressed with this article. thank u.
    -me-

    Wow!
    Guest
    Wow!

    Reading the title, I automatically assumed it was about telling others not to be rude, but this was real! Amazing!
    We don’t see this much…

    BS''D- Beautiful! Read this please!
    Guest
    BS''D- Beautiful! Read this please!

    BS”D When a baby is in the womb a Malach teaches it Torah. When the child is born, it forgets all of the Torah that it had absorbed! Why is this the case? Because when a Malach talks about Kashrus, it doesn’t have food to experience it with etc. So we learn from this that the highest of the high don’t teach us so well. Rather, our mistakes are our best lessons! I hope that everyone takes this into account because this is what Chazal meant by turning our misdemeanors into merits! Using the seemingly bad for an amazing cause.… Read more »

    haha
    Guest
    haha

    its nice that u feel bad ut its kinda hilarious the way ur making it so public.

    mamash
    Guest
    mamash

    gevaldik! what a helike yid, oy! im kvelling!

    Overly dramatic
    Guest
    Overly dramatic

    You are dramatizing but I am glad you learned a lesson about your rudeness. Speaking like that to a grown man and all….Instead if someone takes your place, respectfully say excuse me, I was just there.

    Another point of view
    Guest
    Another point of view

    As an almost senior I don’t think you were wrong in feeling like you did. I see the same crass behavior from young & old alike. Saying excuse me does NOT make it right! Everyone, teenagers & older people, should expect respect AND should show it too. My only thought is, I would have stopped before the “I don’t know who raised you” part. That was unnecessary & rude, but it was said, I guess through frustration and annoyance. So you won’t say that again next time. Unfortunately, there will be a next time, because people generally have no respect… Read more »

    to #4
    Guest
    to #4

    lol lol if u wana make a shiduch u gotta put some info for them to look into. like for example ur zeeseh grandsons name

    your right!!!!
    Guest
    your right!!!!

    (In crown hights) im sorry to say that most of the people here are rude! and i think its disgusting! i think people should stop being rood TODAY!!!!!!!!

    Agree...
    Guest
    Agree...

    Welcome to NYC! It’s annoying, but just the tip of the iceberg of ill mannered people. A bad character trait that I won’t attribute to a specific locale, holding back from saying and not just CH. There are many wonderful, kind people around too though, so don’t let the unsocialized get you down.

    uhhhh
    Guest
    uhhhh

    just cuz he said excuse me doesnt give him the right to push into your space. The whole point of saying those 2 lil words is for the other person to HEAR you and move aside on their own!
    but its nice to see someone working on themselves. Arrogance is never a good thing.

    i feel
    Guest
    i feel

    like everyone has to just chill a tad, shadchan- relaaaaax. woman, its OH-KAY, rabbi, pls be polite…

    who's rude?
    Guest
    who's rude?

    I dont get the story, sounds like he was the rude one here. you just responded, I think you said what should have been said and he should apologize.

    I have to agree with #20
    Guest
    I have to agree with #20

    Same thing happened to me. But it was by the tomatoes. I am a 50+ female and he was a 30 -40 year old male. Whether he said excuse me or not, there wasn’t room for 3 people to select tomatoes (there already was a young lady on my left) and I really don’t need to rub shoulders with someone else’s husband, even if the store is closing and I am taking my time. So I stepped aside to let him fill his sack and when he was finished, I asked “are you finished now?” I think the tomato that… Read more »

    teach menshlichkeit
    Guest
    teach menshlichkeit

    forget this incident. how about when you walk into a store and a bocher or young lady slams the door in your face.
    Menshlichkeit has to be taught at home and at school.

    to # 8:
    Guest
    to # 8:

    hear, hear!!! impressed with the honesty of the article, but not with the grammar. and i agree with # 15…chill a bit: you were BOTH in the wrong – he shouldn’t have pushed, you shouldn’t have commented. it’s over. let’s all learn to keep our hands and comments to ourselves. aaaaamen.

    to #20
    Guest
    to #20

    couldnt have said it better. You got the main point – thank you!
    To the author – Your’e a great writer – keep it up!

    He couldve said the words louder
    Guest
    He couldve said the words louder

    What gives? Y should u shoulder all the guilt. Take the lesson u need, but leave some of it in the basket for the other dude. Today’s generation has iPods in their ears and zillions of tests to take.
    If an adult wants your attention, it usually takes more than one try. Point: he’s an adult, he coulda known that.

    yitzchok
    Guest
    yitzchok

    great article. You sound like a nice girl. I would forgive you.

    True Admiration!
    Guest
    True Admiration!

    I truly admire your brave move of publicly expressing your feelings! I do sincerely feel after reading this article and the one written about tznius, that all is not lost! We have future leaders hidden away in our High Schools waiting to blossom! One little lesson from all the comments: You can change Crown Heights! Just as me and my friends would make hachlatos to say hello to people we did not know on the streets you can too! It is that simple! S o stop complaining and start acting! Yes, some may even ignore you but I am sure… Read more »

    btw
    Guest
    btw

    we miami ppl r not that bad not that im trying to boast but when the crown heightsers come down in the winter well all i can say is i hope u have some spare pita in your house because there is no way your gonna b able to get challah on Thursday or Friday

    #25
    Guest
    #25

    You took those words directly from my mouth.

    #15
    Guest
    #15

    jus b cuz u wuldnt do something like tht doesnt mean shes
    dramatasizing. its called menchlichkiet and honesty.

    Funny memories
    Guest
    Funny memories

    I managed to lose my voice after a half-mile walk in the January cold and snow one Shabbos night in Montreal. I tried to say excuse me when I arrived at a sholom zochor and wanted to get near the table, but nothing came out so I bumped into someone. He immediately called me out for being rude – and I tried to apologize..but my vocal cords produced only a barely audible grunt. I pointed to my throat to indicate that I wasn’t able to speak, the other Yid understood that I was not accustomed to Montreal winters, and that… Read more »

    for a 17's, nice writing skills
    Guest
    for a 17's, nice writing skills

    Young lady, you wrote in purpose and you elaborate your essay very nicely, continue to write.

    big deal
    Guest
    big deal

    nobody cares. move on, don’t get stuck up on something so insignificant.

    35 i agree with you
    Guest
    35 i agree with you

    Being the ripe old age of 97 years old or young as i like to say. I have had numerous experiences in my life like this and some were even worse. Honey, don’t get me wrong your probablly a lovely maideleh..I just think your over reacting just a shtickle.

    LOL #4
    Guest
    LOL #4

    YOUR HILARIOUS

    to #8
    Guest
    to #8

    you r soooooooo rite!!!

    A True Chosid
    Guest
    A True Chosid

    40 years ago in Bais Chana Rabbi Friedman taught us the difference between a Misnagid and a Chosid with the following illustration: There were 2 men who had a quarrel and said harsh words to each other. One of them went home and gave over the incident to his wife getting more worked up by the minute. Soon he started to plan details for further revenge. The other man also shared what happened with his wife but in the middle of retelling the events started to reflect on his own negative behavior. He soon realized how much he contributed to… Read more »

    excuse me?
    Guest
    excuse me?

    I think he was rude and I have a feeling that he didn’t say excuse me , but after ur comment he felt he needed to justify himself! u did the right thing in speaking ur mind and don’t change because it will help u alot in life, especially living here in CH!!

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