By anonymous for COLlive
I am no writer nor a novelist, but this topic has enough material for any amateur scribe.
Anyone that ever spent Pesach as a guest – by grandparents, parents, parents-in-law, siblings, friends – knows that it is nothing close to a festival of freedom.
The amount of ‘chumros’ piled up in orthodox and frum homes amounts to Pharaoh’s decrees in ancient Egypt.
At a Shabbos Chol Hamoed meal this year, for instance, the plastic tablecloth was removed and swapped for a new one after Kiddush (because they made Kiddush). After washing hands and eating Matzah, they changed it again (because they eat Matzos). Only after a Matzah-free environment the meal was served.
What has happened is that any slightest doubt of ‘hidur’ or Chumra turns into validated and certain Chometz.
What has also happened is that at a time when we are meant to celebrate and educate (“V’Higadta L’Bincha”), we occupy ourself in negative words like: forbidden, prohibited, not allowed, banned, unpermitted, proscribed, illicit.
At times you will hear the word (or shout) Chometz more often then Matzah or Pesach. Spouses, children and guest often can feel in distress at a holiday that is about being free.
In a much discussed essay published on COLlive, Rabbi Yosef Heller points out that “the source of a stringency (‘Chumra’) must be verified, and a reliable source must be ascertained, before taking it on.”
The Crown Heights rabbi added that “at times it is necessary for the husband to give up his own chumros for the sake of shalom bayis.”
Practically speaking, consult with with your rabbi or mashpia, but I have a tip to make things easier: Don’t argue. Chumros are not explainable or debatable. Have pity on your energy – you worked enough to clean the house and cook to yomtov.
The Rebbe teaches us in a sicha the importance of minhagim as we learn from the order of the questions in the Ma nishtana. While most of the world asks first about matza, a mitzvah midehoraiso, then maror, a mitzvah miderabonon and so on, our Hagada lists first a custom! (dipping karpas and maror) And the Rebbe explains how important are our customs, they are what keep us jewish more so than mitzvos midehoraiso or miderabonon. Our children love Pesach with all our Chumros! We don’t approach Pesach as a time of leasure. Pesach is always spent at home, cherishing… Read more »
Not every stupid article needs to be posted…
but apart from that I agree….it’s getting a bit ridiculous already…..everyone makes up their own things, in the name of Pesach or worse the Rebbe even…and in turn makes life a lot more difficult for everyone else.
actualy you could say any story you hear is a bube maiseh
Nice article. My observation, at times, looks like many try to take on and enforce certain chumros just to show he can outdo the next guy and thereby lift his ego in saying/showing “look what I can do!” They forget part of being m’vatel & m’vaer chometz is getting rid of that ego/gaaveh. Ah gutten moed.
This is a disgrace. As Chasidim of the Rebbe we know that the Rebbe approved of the hidurim. Why is a lubavitcher site printing such article? If somebody has problems at home he should not blame it on hidurim on pesach and write an article online. He should go to a rav.(writer) also if everyone is pointing to rabbi Heller letter then maybe we should ask rabbi Heller to write a letter about the women dressing in crown heights. Maybe then we would streets that children can walk on and not think its hollywood.
The underlying issue is the disappearance of individuality -pnimiyus- in Chabad.
If you are not on the spiritual level to stick with some chumros then there should be no embarrassment or blame.
BUT do not try to bring the standard-definitions of Chabad down to your level. NOR should you try to raise the mandatory level to your higher level – if that’s where you are (honestly) at.
This issue is the root cause of other problems, particularly expressions (often on this blog) like “…all Lubavitchers believe that…”
your crazy if you think Chumrois have no merit to them especiallly on Pesach. and to #19 (if I get in on time..Iknow that’s me) your crazy too and shtus dekudusha for chometz on Pesach is a good thing
and is very ignorant!
The one example that you bring happens to be something called gebroks (if you havent heard of it – it is that we are carefull not to mix matza and liquid/water on pesach period!).
It is a general accepted minhag in many kraizen not onlky lubavitch…
While I agree that chumros are sometimes taken to a extreme – here you have some young idiot writing some nonesense and uses rabbi heller for backing…
Stick to articles from reliable and torah true sources |(like rabbi hellers)
That’s one of the best comment I have EVER seen!!! Far more to the point than either the other comments or even the article!
DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB
wow its so easy with our “free thinking open minds” to just throw away peoples minhagim which are a lot more respectable than the author who wrote this article
and the story of reb zalman moshe hat he used to stoe water for pesach before pesach ….. and then he asked the rebbe rashab if he shoudl stop since he heard the rebbe did NOT do this and was told NO do NOT stop…
there are no limits as long as the person keeps to the moto of live and let live.
and to the author if you are a guest repsect the host ……
I think everyone has a point here, sai the writer and sai the people opposing him. The writers’ point seems to be not that there shouldnt be any chumros on Pesach, of course there should be, especially by us in Chabad who are more careful and more mehader (or should be, as the Rebbe would want). Yet, his point is just, dont let it get in the way of Simchas hachag and destroying the beauty and cherus of the Yom Tov. There are people who may be dealing with OCD-like symptoms and blame it on Pesachdike chumros (or other year-round… Read more »
it is outragious that you print such an article . i hope it doesnt effect anyone and cause you to be machteh es harabim. are you col live wearing a zaydine sartuck and waging war with our rabaim chas veshalom. i sure hope it was an oversight you should remove it emediatley and be more carefull in future a kosher en frailechen pesach moshiach now
I agree with you, you’re all crazy, the writer has a point.
YES! NO! HES WRONG! HES RIGHT! KILL HIM BLAH BLAH BLAH
who cares, your all giving me a headache.
Let’s look what it says in the rebbe’s hagadah.
“We are very careful with seruyah therefore the matza on the table is covered.”
If you want to be nizhar beyoser (very careful) ALL you have to do is cover the matza on the table. No removing matzah, no changing the tablecloth or burning the table. Leave the matzah on the table and cover it. that’s it !
its a type of “Chumus” its an israeli or arab dip..
To #9. Great question & not in the least stupid. Chumros refers to strictures over & above the accepted practice that individual families take upon themselves. For example, we sit away from the table & eat Matzah in a plastic bag that is discarded after we eat (the bag collects crumbs & greatly reduces the chances of crumbs on the table.) We don’t put anything on the table until after Hamotzoi…then the salads, fish etc come out. My children don’t eat out of bags (my mother says she feels like a horse eating out of a nose-bag!) One child uses… Read more »
I think I may have chometz brewing in my stomach
The story with the sugar is questionable if its a true story. I’ve heard this story is not a true story. (Same with the 5th night of Chanuka story)
im very disapointed at collive to publish such nonsense ppl are starting to take rav hellers words in a whole new direction i dont remember him saying chumros have no basis chumros have a very big basis have we forgotten the story with the alter rebbe and the sugarcane this man came to the alter rebbe saying this sugar is 100% kosher i checked it myself thru the whole process and the alter rebbe cracked the sugar cane and out fell a piece of wheat so dont knock chumros away thank you very much kol hamarbeh haray zeh meshuboch!
Yep tell me about it… the anxiety at home because of keeping to these crazy chumros… makes u really want to go and dump matza crumbs all over the table> I mean really the attitide is anything but simcha, when everybody is busy yelling at the next guy not to put crumbs everywhere… what a redemtion!
What are chumros?
The Rebbe mentioned more than once at a Yud Alef farbrengen that who is careful with hidurim on Pesach is protected from sin a whole year. It’s quoted from kisvay Arizal.
With some of our generation being so bad off I think those who are mehader should be respected and more. Those who can’t that’s your choice. When we teach our kids this is not important and this is not important guess what, soon they will decide a lot of thing are not important. Do you take responsibility?
“at times it is necessary for the husband to give up his own chumros for the sake of shalom bayis.”
i’m only a teen so i cant talk for the ones who do all the work, BUT…. you have a gr8 point but keep in mind the beautiful chasidishe part of the yom tov too. this is not just a frum yom tov but its so connected to chassidus and the hidurim only beautifies the mitzvah. it definitely does get difficult and sometimes we wonder why we care about it anyway, but think about the way the Rebbe approached pesach and its not for no reason. as 2 said, it helps in avodas hashem. it helps u throughout the year-… Read more »
his point which he reiterates quite often throughout the year and not just with regards to pesach is that people that do all types of “chumros” and “chasidishe” hanhogos that makes them feel better and more self righteios, often at the expense of others and the same people often are slack in serious halachic issues. (tzniyus, tefillah bitzibur, keviyus itim litorah etc.)
Jewish customs are no joke. If a child hears you disregarding a minhag, why should he not act the same to an halacha. We must be extra carefull on this as kids read this website too
That’s very interesting, because the Frierdike Rebbe had once said that although throughout the year we follow Shulchan Aruch or anything else with basis, on Pesach it’s different: any Chumrah someone has is real and should be respected even if it seemingly has no basis. And maybe you – the author of this article – should get your *** and start working! If you don’t like that option, how about forget about Judaism altogether this way you’ll be truly “free” to do everything your Nefesh Habahamis tells you to. To put it short: revise your article to something like this:… Read more »
Avtalion said: Sages, be careful with your words (Pirkei Avot )
You should not underestimate minhagim and hidurim of Jewish people – whatever they may be.
If it helps in avodas hashem – don’t opose it
i totaly agree
100% correct