By Yehoshua Soudakoff – N’shei Chabad Newsletter
My parents didn’t see it coming.
It was on a warm May evening that I was delivered into the loving hands of my parents. We lived in the heart of the Los Angeles Jewish community, within walking distance of most of our extended family. My mother eagerly looked forward to enrolling me in the local Jewish school in a few years. Though my parents weren’t strictly observant of Jewish tradition, they felt comfortable interacting with the Jewish community and identified with it.
Both my father and mother had no doubts that I could hear. After all, they were the only members of their respective families who were deaf.
A few weeks later, while a loud lawnmower worked its way past the window of the room we sat in, my parents and grandparents noticed that I didn’t react at all to the noise. Could he be deaf? After a visit to the doctor, their suspicions were confirmed. I was deaf.
My parents’ lives were turned upside down. They had to begin a search for a school that would meet my educational needs. They sought speech therapists and met with various teachers. In later years, my parents had two more children, my siblings Michael and Rachel, both of whom were also deaf.
My parents were later tested for the Connexin 26 gene, and they both have it. This gene causes deafness in children.
Soon my parents made a tough decision: we moved to another (non-Jewish) neighborhood, so that we all could attend the local school that provided a program for deaf children. Naturally, this meant that our involvement with the Jewish community declined somewhat. Though we continued to keep a kosher home and have weekly Shabbos dinners, my family increasingly identified more with the deaf community than with the mainstream Jewish community.
As my siblings and I grew up, we were fortunate to have access to Judaism in the form of my mother’s non-profit organization – Jewish Deaf Community Center. It was established in 1991 (the year I was born) and provided a variety of Jewish educational functions: Chanukah parties, Rosh Hashanah services, Pesach community seders, trips to the Jewish museum, monthly kosher dinners, and so on. The best part about all this was that it was all uniquely geared to the needs of the Jewish deaf community. All programs were conducted fully in American Sign Language (ASL). My mother brought in deaf rabbis and lay leaders from out of state, and I was able to communicate directly with these people.
Then came my bar mitzvah. I learned Hebrew through a tutor and practiced my leining with a speech therapist. The result was that on my bar mitzvah day at the Kosel in Yerushalayim, I was able to have a typical Israeli bar mitzvah, just like every other bar mitzvah kid there.
This ignited a spark within me. I decided that I would not put all this learning to waste. Instead of throwing away all the hard work I had put into this special day (as many others unfortunately have done), I wanted to continue to grow in my Judaism.
After a year of attending a local public high school near my home, I had had enough. I wanted to be in a real yeshivah. Yeshivas Nefesh Dovid in Toronto, an international yeshivah and the only high school for Jewish deaf bochurim, was my next destination. A small program that works in conjunction with a much larger regular yeshivah, the school was the perfect environment for me to thrive.
I learned from the other bochurim exactly how to be Jewish, and our (deaf) Rosh Yeshivah, HaRav Chaim Tzvi Kakon, served as a role model for us all. We knew that it wasn’t beyond our grasp to be true bnei Torah, because we had one standing in front of our class every day. Even some of the rebbeim were deaf.
I was in Toronto for three short years, and by the end, I felt much more comfortable within the Jewish community. This led me to consider joining another yeshivah, and that’s how I found myself back in my hometown, studying at Yeshivas Ohr Elchonon Chabad.
How did I come to identify myself with Chabad? When I came to the yeshivah in Toronto (which isn’t affiliated with Chabad at all), the other bochurim asked me, “What are you?” Some of them were Sefardi, others were Ashkenazi, and yet others were Chassidishe. Since I had just recently begun to daven in the Chabad House near my house, I said, “I’m a Lubavitcher!” And the label stuck. This is perhaps an excellent illustration of the importance of starting on the right foot – whatever we do at the beginning sets the tone for what comes afterwards.
When I came back to Los Angeles, I realized that I had far more Jewish knowledge than the average Jewish deaf person. The yeshivah in which I learned in Toronto has only been around for a few years; where had Jewish deaf boys gone to before then? From where was the deaf community supposed to learn Torah?
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Being a deaf person is much more than not being able to hear. It often bothers me when people focus on my hearing condition. Yes, it’s true that the lack of hearing is the identifying mark that separates me from other people. But being a deaf person means so much more than that. The “deaf world” offers a complete and intricate language (ASL), cultural nuances, and a unique outlook on life. Shouting louder or gesturing when communicating with me completely bypasses these ingrained elements of my identity, and it does them no justice.
It was for all of these reasons that I embarked on a new project to serve the Jewish deaf community. Working with several other people, I started a website that would provide educational resources for Jewish deaf people – Jewish Deaf Multimedia (www.jewishdeafmm.org). A few initial videos led to a weekly outpouring of parshah videos, and today we have over thirty videos in just little more than a year of production. Each and every video utilizes ASL and is fully captioned in English, for the benefit of those who don’t know ASL well. We appointed a deaf rabbi (Rabbi Fred Friedman of Baltimore, Maryland) to preview each video before its release, to ensure our information content was accurate.
Accompanying these videos on the website is also a blog that addresses issues of Jewish importance to the Jewish deaf community, with an emphasis on the practical deed (as the Rebbe stressed time and time again). We produced a “Synagogue Survival Guide for the Deaf Jew” – a user-friendly handbook for Jewish deaf people who want to attend synagogue services.
From the outset, it was clear that a presence on the internet was sorely needed. Jewish deaf people are scattered all over the world (and our international email subscription list attests to this). Jewish deaf programs and events – though crucial – would most likely not attract more than a few dozen people at a time. Largely unaffiliated and lacking in Jewish knowledge, the Jewish deaf community would either be uninterested or unable to participate in these programs due to conflicting priorities.
The internet broke through all of these barriers. Anybody can anonymously access our videos and other resources at any time of the day from the comforts of their personal computer. It did not matter if they lived in the heart of Brooklyn, high up in the Colorado Rockies or in the Australian Outback.
And then we partnered with Chabad.org to widen our audience even further. Some have asked me, “Why can’t deaf people just read the articles and watch the subtitled Rebbe videos available on Chabad.org? Why ‘reinvent the wheel’ and produce similar content in ASL? After all, don’t deaf people know English too?”
The answer is unfortunate. After centuries of miscommunication and misunderstandings, deaf people have come to develop their own community, language, and culture. Just as we Jews pride ourselves on being able to maintain a unique identity, and we are resistant to assimilation, so, too, is the deaf community. When given the choice between living comfortably, among people we understand and who understand us, or “senselessly” giving it all up for the frustration of trying to survive in a strange world, we deaf people naturally choose the former. And we do it in a way that ensures a barrier between culturally deaf people and those who don’t sign in ASL.
In Jewish terms, this has resulted in a wide gap between the deaf community and the frum world. This is especially true because the frum community puts a heavy emphasis on hearing – be it attending shiurim, listening to the reading of the megillah, or davening b’tzibbur. So over the years, we have slowly allowed our deaf brothers and sisters to fall through the cracks and find support elsewhere. They have left our synagogues and programs because they felt bored and isolated amidst the chatter and speeches and rituals that characterize communal Judaism. What sane person would willingly put himself in a situation where he perpetually feels lost?
In addition, Jewish deaf people are often mistakenly told from childhood (more in the past than today) by well-meaning parents and rabbis that they were exempt from the mitzvos because they are halachically considered “chereshim.” Of course, this is a subtle form of permission, if not encouragement, for them to leave the Jewish community, G-d forbid.
(I recently heard from a reliable source that Rabbi Zalman Shimon Dvorkin z”l paskened that today’s deaf people are not considered “chereshim”; there is obviously a huge difference between the illiterate and uncommunicative “deaf-mutes” of the past and the mainstream, communicative and intelligent deaf people of today.)
So why would we expect some deaf people to benefit from what Chabad.org has to offer? That would be akin to expecting the typical American public school student to be able to relate to the intricate analysis of the Pnei Yehoshua on a difficult Rashi. Even if one translates the Pnei Yehoshua’s words, the emotional connection is still lacking.
That’s why Jewish Deaf Multimedia is offering something totally different. We’re providing Torah in a native tongue (hand?) and addressing issues through deaf eyes. There is no doubt that many deaf people have discovered their neshamah’s connection to the Torah and Hashem only through these videos. Our website has a page with short blurbs from many members of the deaf community, showing their enthusiasm and support for this ambitious project.
In addition to running the website, I have also become involved in helping arrange various events for the Jewish deaf community. In fact, as I write this, I am on a plane flying back to Los Angeles from Rochester, NY. I was a guest speaker for the “First Ever International Jewish Deaf Purim Shabbaton” that took place in the quiet but sizeable Jewish community there. Over 30 people attended, and we had megillah readings both at night and during the day.
Throughout the weekend, I was reminded again and again just how important it is to organize events geared for the deaf community. I cannot imagine these people would have enjoyed themselves as much had it been a regular shabbaton. To keep up during an event with the help of a sign language interpreter is completely different than being an active participant in a deaf, ASL-conducted event. And I honestly think the latter enriches in a way the former would never do.
The Rebbe spoke at a farbrengen once about the special quality of hafatzah through Braille. I have no doubt he feels the same way about Torah being spread around the world in ASL for the deaf community. It is just another step in bringing the world closer to Yemos HaMoshiach, when “the world will be filled with knowledge of G-d, as waters cover the sea.” Though everybody will hear after Moshiach comes, why should we wait to learn Torah till then?
thats linda levitan!!
Finally someone who can articulate the issues around the Jewish Deaf! No Jew should be denied Torah . . .
I was Yehoshua’s roommate in Yeshiva YOEC in LA.
His commitment to Hashem is like that of a chossid of past generations.
* Time management & Hatzlacha in Zman
We should learn from him and see what happens when a person “is in their own world” in a good way.
Without the ability to listen to shtusim and other distracting talk, he is an example of a person that walks on the straight path despite what is going on around him.
I knew him when he was a kid! I’m so inspired by his outlook on life and outreach to fellow Deaf Jews that I’m recommitting myself to finding ways to reach out to them again!
go Yehoshua
i’ve seen him teach in 770 most inspiring
every one has there shlichos, when we se this we l all learn a lesson
Rabbi kakon must be the son of my friend joyce Rabinowitz, whom i met in camp Emunah many years ago..her father AH, and brothers were deaf- she wasnt. What a marvelous person she was..L’Chaim JOYCE!! your old friend nechama g.
Inspiring and great.
amazing saw him first hand in la where he learn t for a while
linda??
Such an inspiring story. When are you coming back to LA?
your videos are so inspirational, Thank you very much.
do you think you can give a farbrangen as well, information with stories and the like? Thanks again veary much. with best wishes for Hatzlach Rabba.
i am so humbled by reading this article; how I take my hearing for granted; i am truly moved to tears thinking of the challenges you and others have faced. thank you. miriam fishman los angeles
This is a inspiration to us all, to see such strength and inspiration for yiddishkeit straightens all other Jews informed of this. Thank you for the inspiration, and tizko lemitzvos!
may we merit in the zchos of you work the coming of Moshiach Tzidkayno BB amen!
Yes, Yeshiva Nefesh Dovid is a most amazing yeshiva indeed. No one has ever done for the hard of hearing world what the great Rabbi Kakon did. His tireless devotion is legendary. Those Bochurim who would’ve been lost as a result of their so called handicap, have been transformed into thriving Bnai Torah and productive members of their community.
Thank you Rabbi Kakon,
unbeleivable, and extremely insipiring! keep it up!
keep it up! like the rochester pictures 🙂
I highly recommend watching a promotional video for the Na Lagaat Center of Eretz Yisrael. Like Yehoshua’s inspiring story, it will affect you and open your eyes.
Thank you for sharing and hatzlacha rabba!
From Toronto!!!!!!!!
Rabbi Kakone is a fantastic person & a great Rosh Yeshivah & Talmid Chochom. The bochrim love hear dearly and he is kind to each & every bochur. Lucky to have him.
Dr. Chaim Bressler who started the Yeshivah & is still it’s mainstay today, has done a tremendous job in helping deaf students learn Torah.
He is a true Marbits Torah, following in his late father’s A”H footsteps.
May he & Rabbi Kakone go may Choyil el Choyil ad Bias Moshiach. BB
My parents are now in the olam ha’emes. If only they and their many Jewish deaf friends had a role model like Rabbi Shua years ago, things might have been so different.
I’m so lucky to know this incredible person.
Keep doing the amazing things you do for humanity!!
what a wonderful example of living a life worth living
Great work – nice to see how your mom’s ambition and actions impacted you.
Thank you chabad of Rochester!
We love your work Shua keep it up!! -from your YOEC friends
inspiring story
Grest story – Keep up the great work – Capt. Mark Young from Los, Angeles, CA
I watched some of the shiur he gave at the beis medrash on Crowns St, it was fascinating
There is a Chasidishe Rebbe in Boro Park who started the first program for handicapped frum children, over 30 years ago.
He was addressing an audience of over 100 (maybe 1000) Rabbonon on this issue. The subject was shidduchim for people with hearing aids. They seemed to be on a lower level because of this condition. NOW HERE”S THE KICKER: The Rebbe told the crowd, “Everyone, please take off your glasses.” They did so. “Now, look at the clock and tell me what time it is.” They could not. “Guess what, You’re all handicapped.”…..
He has so much strength, so admirable. I watched him give