For months and years now, pages of COLlive.com, speeches, seminars and gatherings in “the schuna” have been saturated with one subject, the Shidduch crisis. Articles on your Shidduchim SOS section have received hundreds of comments; rooms have been filled with listening ears hoping to ingest some inspiration and ideas.
Yet, practically speaking, has anything changed?
Think of the singles that you know. Have they been going on more shidduchim because of these speeches? Is their quest now easier since someone wrote an inspiring article on the subject?
It seems like getting to the first step, where two people who may have more in common than they know, meet, may take weeks, months, or in some cases years.
But as do many other members of this community, I believe that it does not have to be this way. The respectable and upstanding individuals among us deserve the decency of being able to define their own destiny.
So, how does this article about shiduchim differ from the articles that – although I enjoy and appreciate the initiatives taken by the authors – don’t seem to change anything? Simply, because I’m not writing about what should happen, rather, about what is happening.
This past Motzei shabbos, a small venue in Crown Heights was filled with close to 50 young women and men of the crown heights community, some couples but mostly not. A singles event? Some may think of it that way, though I prefer to call it a community event.
A speaker inspired and gave practical advice, there was light music, and some games, but mostly a realization that it’s about time things change. Is this the way to change the so called “shidduch crisis”? It’s too soon to know.
What I do know is that now, the Frum Lubavitcher who has reached the finish line of the system will feel like s/he can do something for his or her own future while waiting on people who have their own lives, jobs, families and kids to worry about to come up with the time, patience and effort to help them.
The event was hosted by The Melava Malka Crew. The next event, which will Iy’h take place Motzei Shabbos Shmos, December 25th, will feature music, games and a speaker or entertainer and is open to couples and singles 25+. Info and details will be available closer to the date. If you would like to be a partner in this initiative by sponsoring a full event or a portion thereof, please contact [email protected]
Yes, I expect to see tens of comments from those who may call this “despicable” or “against what we stand for” and I can probably write them all myself. To you commentators I ask, please do share you thoughts and opinions however, since this article is not about ideas but rather about practical solutions, please be sure to include a practical solution such as “This is what SHOULD be done, etc.” and how you plan to bring it to fruition. Positive, effective and practical ideas should always be welcomed.
*To date, there has been one engagement of a couple who met initially at one of these “Melave Malka”s (we prefer to keep their identity private), not to mention numerous other dates, inquiries into individuals and other related activity.