In honor of Tu B’Av, women of Crown Heights gathered for “PairFACTLY MATCHED: how to stay happy long after the match is made,” with Mrs. Aliza Horowitz, LMHC.
The following are 16 bits of insight about improving marriage and living better, discussed at the event:
Marriage Insights – Couples speak about what is important in a marriage
* After Modeh Ani, think about what you can do for your spouse today.
* Ask not what your spouse can do for you, ask what you can do for your spouse. Adapted by S. Rosenstein
* You don’t always have to win an argument.
* Spend time once a week together with your spouse, just to enjoy each other’s company.
* Make your spouse number one priority.
* Never go to sleep angry at each other.
Dr. Alvin and Ruth Cohen
* You can be excited about your spouse’s ideas, plans and thoughts without agreeing with them.
Dr. Lawrence J. Cohen
* When I help my wife, even if it’s a small thing, I want her to say thank you and appreciate me for it.
* Be as polite and kind to your spouse as you would to a guest.
* Make sure to give your husband dinner before you talk about your day.
* Never put down your spouse’s ideas.
* Talk about stressful things outside of your bedroom, because your bedroom is your haven.
Overheard in Kollel
* When you are angry, WAIT (Why Am I Talking?).
* When your husband comes home, say to the person on the phone, “my husband just came home, I need to call you later.”
* When you have an argument, retrace your steps to see what caused it.
* Men and women are different, so don’t let it discourage you if you view the world and life differently.