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Tuesday, 14 Heshvan, 5780
  |  November 12, 2019

$10,000 For Your Shidduch

A new grant from philanthropist Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz will pay $10,000 for a successful Shidduch match. But, there's a catch. Full Story

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genuis
Guest
genuis

what a unique idea that will surely motivate people

what a paradox
Guest
what a paradox

Most couples the man is more than one year older than the woman, and especially for older single women. Telling a 40 year old man he must marry a 40 year old woman is contrary to what a mashpia would advise that man.

what a tsadik
Guest
what a tsadik

i am astounded of this great idea

awesome!!!!
Guest
awesome!!!!

amazing idea!!!! thank you

"Older single"
Guest
"Older single"

If 25 years is an “older single” then I am wondering what am I at the age of 36? “Elderly single” or “ancient single?” The word ancient has a nice ring to it although I am a man and don’t wear rings. Back to topic, nice work Reb Rechnitz.

Beautiful
Guest
Beautiful
SOMETHING IS WRONG
Guest
SOMETHING IS WRONG

It doesnt make sense that the couple is within one year of each other. That is only a small percentage of all married couples. If it’s right than it isn’t much of an incentive!
Someone who has made many Shidduchim.

What about the poor girls stuck in between?
Guest
What about the poor girls stuck in between?

Ages 23-24 don’t get money, don’t get dates. These girls are considered too “old” and not old enough. Hmmm… But thank you Rabbi Rechnitz for doing good in the world.

A Father of Two Similarly Situated Girls
Guest
A Father of Two Similarly Situated Girls

My younger daughter was the recipient of a beautiful wedding funded by anonymous, loving, donors in CH. We can never give enough thanks for their actions. This program is from the same kind of love and should be lauded and supported by all.

to # 2
Guest
to # 2

Part of the idea of this program is to encourage people to work harder to find SUITABLE matches. This means in part people around the same age which is always preferable.

shliach
Guest
shliach

Great idea!
how about part of the cash for the couple themselves?

good intentions bad idea
Guest
good intentions bad idea

this will push shadchanim into looking only into these singles age 25+ within one year apart…. others will become neglected.

Mazal tov!
Guest
Mazal tov!

Thank you for this beautiful idea! However why only one year apart,, they can put a four five year difference
And a shidduch is only one, no one can decide the age of the chosson. It should be anyone who gets engaged above 25. Yashar koach!

May it be...
Guest
May it be...

…kol chasan v’kol kallah in Yerushalayim with Moshiach now!

Very lovely idea
Guest
Very lovely idea

Best of luck, I’m certainly on the lookout now to help.

Thank you
Guest
Thank you

I am an “older single” and having been “in the system” for several years I am really happy to see this initiative. When I was first starting out in shidduchim, there were many more suggestions. After turning 25 there were far fewer; partly because there are less available guys who are shiach at older ages, and partly because its already a small pool to begin with and after a few years, many suggestions that come up have been tried before. I think initiatives like this can really encourage everyday people to take a more active role in shidduchim. Shadchanim are… Read more »

The point of this grant is
Guest
The point of this grant is

to get younger boys to consider older girls

BEAUTIFUL YET VERY SAD
Guest
BEAUTIFUL YET VERY SAD

THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL GESTURE, RABBI REICHNITZ,AND IM IN AWE!!! BUT PEOPLE! CAN YOU COMPARE THE KNOWLEDGE OF KNOWING THAT YOU (WITH THE HELP OF HASHEM) HAVE IN ACTUALITY CREATED A FAMILY WITH POTENTIALLY COUNTLESS FUTURE GENERATIONS, TO $10,000?! SHOULD IT REALLY TAKE 10,000 TO MAKE A SHIDDUCH?!

Agree with
Guest
Agree with

#13. The other stipulations are fine. Best wishes to all to
become a non-statistic of this sort NOW.

attn #12
Guest
attn #12

they dont need to be 25. they can be any age 25+

wow!
Guest
wow!

this idea rocks the world with kindness!
i am in shock, but in a good way, about this special neshomo!

for sale
Guest
for sale

My 25 daughter’s shiduch rights, 20% commission
🙂

missing the point
Guest
missing the point

to all those who said why a difference of only one year? You guys are all missing the point. His intention was within one year OR YOUNGER. and the reason behind this is to close the age gap.. he is trying to marry off the younger boys (22, 23 ) to the 25+ girls before the fresh group of 19-20 year olds marry them.. his point is not just to marry off older singles. Hes trying to close the age gap.

The purpose is...
Guest
The purpose is...

to “encourage” shadchonim to make matches between men and women of the same age or younger to offset the supposed shidduch crisis with regard to there being “too many single women” than there are single men in the same age groups. However, this bribes shadchonim to making matches not based on perceived compatibility, but rather based on ages, for a nice payout. This results in a deficient cost/benefit ratio. It would seem much wiser and more proactive to reward the mikurovim of a baal teshuvoh man who marries a frum from birth woman of the age range that there is… Read more »

Soo glad to hear this news!
Guest
Soo glad to hear this news!

Let’s hear so many mazel tovs now that there are barely enough wedding halls, wedding dates, etc. to keep up with them all!!! Since there are other good points being made about shidduchim needs, maybe some readers can convince other gvirim to put up $$ for shidduchim in other categories besides Mr. Rechnitz’s within-one-year-of-25, etc. limits. Wishing everyone great success in making shidduchim !!!

Abba
Guest
Abba

So a boy is only eligible if he is 24 to 26?

old timer
Guest
old timer

Is any male not married who is over 25 a Rechnitzer reject? (If you don’t know what that is, google it.)

Why are ther more girls?
Guest
Why are ther more girls?

Are there more girls than boys that were born? If not, what happened to the boys these girls ages? It doesn’t make sense that they all married younger girls. How many boys 25 or older are not yet married? That should be investigated. Perhaps it would shed light on the shidduch problem.

For those who were wondering
Guest
For those who were wondering

Mr. Rechnitz (for a while now) is VERY into marrying couples off the same age…
The man is a big baal tzedaka even to lubavitch! Kol hakovod.

Moshe Montefiori Style
Guest
Moshe Montefiori Style

Very very nice…. I”m jealous… wish I could do that too.

attention #27
Guest
attention #27

The reason for the surplus of girls and lack of enough boys is: As a general rule, in the frum world the age for boys to get married is anywhere from 21-25 (?)ish, while for girls it is 19-21 (?) – which leaves girls with less time to get married at the “prime age”. so lets say if there is a not and girl. Girl 19 Boy 21 They are both at an age where they could start the shidducj process. For the girl once a year or 2 has passed… She is 22, 23 and people may already consider… Read more »

Thank you Mr. Rechnitz!
Guest
Thank you Mr. Rechnitz!

B”H I and my husband are fortunate to have married off all of our marriageable age children. However I feel the pain of my friends who have “older” singledaughters. The days, months, and years go by without any suggestions coming their way. Thanks to Mr. Rechnitz I am sure the phone will start ringing!
Tizku limitzvos! May we meet at simchas very soon!

Rav
Guest
Rav

I think it would be appropriate for him to discuss his conditions with a rav to make sure that these conditions are ‘al pi Torah’,

all the creterias
Guest
all the creterias

If YOU set up a couple who gets engaged, and IF they meet the criteria below, you can get $10,000 for the shidduch. The details are: This is for Orthodox Jewish singles only. The girl has to be 25 years old or older, it has to be her 1st marriage, and she has to be from North America. The boy can be 1 year older than her or younger than her. (Example: a 25 yr old girl with a 26 yr old boy. Or a 25 yr old girl with a 23 yr old boy.) BEFORE the couple dates for… Read more »

noo
Guest
noo

If u clearly read the article, the boy doesn’t have to be 24-26. The girl just needs to be at least 25 and marry a boy who is her age or younger. The pair can be as old as they are or have a larger age difference, man being younger.

kol hakavod
Guest
kol hakavod

amazing!! Pg we should see this work very soon

Privacy
Guest
Privacy

Sounds to me like a shadchan has to report the names of the prospective daters before they even start meeting. not sure if that’s a breach of privacy.

YES
Guest
YES

thank you, lets stir the pot and find them matches now!

boy's qualifications
Guest
boy's qualifications

does it have to be his first marriage also?

What the Rebbe says
Guest
What the Rebbe says

Don’t forget what the Rebbe says about age differences a boy NOT older than 10 years, and if the girl is older not more than 3 years.

Mazal Tov !
Guest
Mazal Tov !

As a woman who married very , very late in life , I just want to say that there is nothing to despair about : Your future doesn’t depend on your age , it depends on the right time for you to receive ( as a keli ) the other part of your neshama .All the spiritual ” work” you’re doing before marriage to get ready to greet your ” bashert” will hast that time. There is nothing to fear , whoever you are , whatever is your age : there is no “too old” or “too young”. Hashem is… Read more »

incentives
Guest
incentives

Just wondering can it go up $5000 for every 5 years?so if my shadchan friend marries off a 40 year old she would be eligble for $ 25,000? Incentives are nice but cant believe in this day and age 25 is considered sliding off the shelf!

To#39
Guest
To#39

Source? Or is this another misquote from the Rebbe?

very nice idea. why wait until the age of 25?
Guest
very nice idea. why wait until the age of 25?

thank you rebbi rachnitz and may hasham help you to continue in your great chesed…and to all who are doing goods in the world! !!
One thing though, I think this would push to help out the ones from 25 +. what’s with the 23 24..year olds? maybe offer a amount suitable for a shiduch at this younger age so will help both. and it won’t be so much older than 25 because a shadchen will try for them when they are younger. .
thanks sooooo much.

wonderful chesed
Guest
wonderful chesed

It’s a wonderful chesed. All those who want to criticize and change the conditions should put their own cash on line and come up with their own initiative. btw it says 25 or older so if the couple is 30 & 31 that’s ok too 🙂 come up with your own combinations and make a shidduch

good idea but
Guest
good idea but

It is a great idea but why the one year difference, most men are more then a year older then their female partners

bigger mitzva to mary off almonos or women whose husbands left them
Guest
bigger mitzva to mary off almonos or women whose husbands left them

He is trying ti mean well but what about marrying off the older than 25 almanah or a woman whose husband left them while pregnant. It’s a bigger mitzvah in these two examples sunce the woman is more broken then a free spirited never been hurt or married 25 year old. Especially in an instance where children do not have a father and the woman is raising kids alone. Guess these women were forgotten

ydosch
Guest
ydosch

#33
His father in law, Rabbi Belsky, is one of the top poskim in the (Litvisher) world today. I’m sure he did it with his haskomoh

Mrs j w
Guest
Mrs j w

Wonderful idea I have a beautiful daughter talented professional a balata cheesed no one tries to make a shidduch some of her last few dates were a real nightmare

Yet another shidduch incentive that leaves me out in the cold
Guest
Yet another shidduch incentive that leaves me out in the cold

There are SO MANY singles events, and singles groups, and shabbatonim and other resources — all geared to helping singles UP TO THE AGE of 39 to meet and marry. The rest of us can wither and die. There are almost NO resources for helping older singles. And sorry, but 26 is not an “older single”. I am 55. I have been married before but I am widowed. I really would love to be married. But I have received very little help. Almost no events arranged for those in my age group, I have been told by shadchanim that they… Read more »

Thanks
Guest
Thanks

Tizka Lemitzvos!!!
I’m just wondering why not for second marriage also?

25 isn't old!!!
Guest
25 isn't old!!!

It should be focused on girls 30 and older
The term older girl shouldn’t be used for a 25 yr old!!!
25 isn’t old. I guess in the shidduch world it is. 🙁
To the guy who said a 40 yr old guy wouldn’t be encouraged to marry a 40 yr old girl, you continue to be party to the problem.

To those who don't understand how this helps:
Guest
To those who don't understand how this helps:

Every year, there are B’H more children than the year before. So suppose there are 140 nineteen year olds, 130 twenty year olds, 120 twenty one year olds, 110 twenty two years old and 100 twenty three year olds. If all the 19 year old girls married the 19 year old boys, pretty much everyone would find their match. But if the 140 nineteen year old girls marry the 100 twenty three year old boys, 40 girls are left without a match. And the problem gets worse as time goes on. By marrying someone the same age or younger, he… Read more »

Good Idea
Guest
Good Idea

I was 27 when I married. My husband was 36. Neither of us had ever married. So I hear what people are saying, but you have no idea how many men my father’s age and older I was set up with, despite not wanting to date that age group. My husband declined a shidduch because he thought I was too young and that got him major points, as he wanted a partner, not a baby machine. So I think make it a few years, but arojnd the same age just means womenet a better chance of meeting someone real. Those… Read more »

More of the age shtuss
Guest
More of the age shtuss

The unfortunate effect of this is that men may now be discriminated against in shidduchim based on their age. I just hope this doesn’t cause shadchanim to send shiach matches that they might have sent to me to younger men or send me matches that are above child bearing age. I came to Orthodoxy a little later, but would like to have children. The shidduch crisis will not be solved by this age shtuss, it will be solved by allowing men and women to meet each other rather than creating a bunch of deal breakers based on age and hashkafa.

how about commission by the pound
Guest
how about commission by the pound

there are a lot of overweight women who cannot get married, how about if she is 200 pounds, then $10,000 for marrying her off. that would come out to $50 per pound. what do you think people? come on, a little rachmanous for the obese !!

Dont overthink this.
Guest
Dont overthink this.

the criteria of women 25+ and men with a year or younger means successful match: Woman 49 / Man 47 Woman 33 / Man 33 Woman 55 / Man 45 Its not focusing on the 25 year old women. its 25+ any age over 25 is 25 +. the man is to be the same age or younger … if she is 40, he can be 40 or younger. Its not so difficult. This is a WONDERFUL IDEA.

Wonderful
Guest
Wonderful

My husband and I were both 25 when we married twelve years ago, nothing wrong with being the same age . What a special man to do this.

To #56
Guest
To #56

Brilliant. How about the combined wait of both parties? 400 pounds = $20,000. Maybe it should be a sliding scale (get it ‘scale’). $50 a pound up to the first 600 pounds and $75 a pound after that. Of course there will be those that say we’re discriminating again, this time against skinny people or more correctly those that make shidduchim for skinny people.

Dovid

Up
Guest
Up

Nice idea but who says 25 is old
What about the 40 plus women
I was one of those found my husband on my own and have three lovely children. By the way he’s younger ……
Sometimes ladies they’re right in front of your face. Just go for it.

older girl
Guest
older girl

I think they want them to be the same age because the shadchans usually set up the older girls with much older guys. like okay you are 26 and single still? here is a 40 yr old guy for you he is divorced with 7 kids perfect match.

JOHNNY BOY
Guest
JOHNNY BOY

THE JEWISH ROBIN HOOD,

Why the same age?????
Guest
Why the same age?????

Why do they have to be the same age????? Extremely limiting and unrealistic.

Discrimination
Guest
Discrimination

I hate to take a good initiative and knock it, this is an excellent move. At the same time, it fails to address the very large population of older single men who are single, amongst others.

#13 you misunderstood
Guest
#13 you misunderstood

The boy can be any age younger than the girl but not more than a year older in order for the shadchan to collect this special bonus.

Pilegesh and/or multiple wives
Guest
Pilegesh and/or multiple wives

We never had this problem when Jewish men would marry more than one wife…….

hmmmm
Guest
hmmmm

could’ve been a bit better what if 22 years old and what if divorced and you wanna move on

Motivational Money
Guest
Motivational Money

The couple could do with a little as well. That would be the greatest Tzedakah. Otherwise, a well earned position to be upheld by selfless shadchan. Shame though, money had to motivate. Now the saying, Put your money where your mouth is

To #50 Come in from the cold
Guest
To #50 Come in from the cold

Sorry to hear of your loss and that you’re a widow @ 55 yrs old. First of all, you are NOT “old.” Believe me, to a Kohen, your words are music to his ears!! It’s all a matter of perspective! I agree that there should be no upper age limit for singles events in the frum community.

The couple can be different ages! The man must be younger though.
Guest
The couple can be different ages! The man must be younger though.

A lot the comments seem to think that this $10,000 grant requires that the couple be within one year of each other. This is not true. This post is simply written in a confusing way. The post clearly states that “The boy must be the same age (within 1 year) OR YOUNGER.”

Why only to the shadchan?
Guest
Why only to the shadchan?

Why not also to the couple?

Why, Why, Why?
Guest
Why, Why, Why?

Why all these questions about why? His mission is pretty clear if you think about it for a second, and he’s backing it up with 10,000 per shidduch!!!!!!! When YOU decide to give out 10,000 or 1,000 or even 100 per shidduch you can stipulate it to include; A) Money to go to the couple (not sure how that is an incentive to make a shidduch, doesn’t the 25 yr old want to get married? I’ve heard of marrying for money but marrying for a cut of 10k is a BAD idea) B) Girls under 25 (because 24 is just… Read more »

Very sad
Guest
Very sad

Good intention so let’s add to it! Why not give 10g for a match of a women who marries a shorter man!! Or 10g for women that marries a man 20 years older!! If the intention was to help make matches it would open up more possibilities for women and men as well.

Shadchan?
Guest
Shadchan?

Give it to the newly weds or at least half. It should not be made into a business.

incentive
Guest
incentive

in order to apply you have to register on website eisheslapidus.com BEFORE the first date

THE IDEA IS...
Guest
THE IDEA IS...

For many of you who didn’t understand, the point is that some older guys will only take younger girls and then the older girls have no one interested in them. he wants guys to be open to marrying girls the same age or older, and since ppl might shy away from doing that, hes offering money as an incentive. not that that’s the whole reason youre setting the person up,but just to give you the extra push. mitoch shelo lishma, ba lishma. This is a beautiful thing of someone whos trying to help others. lets not try to put down… Read more »

Enough already!
Guest
Enough already!

Religious Jewish life grows ever more complicated in this modern world. And now is the time to want to impose ever more exacting criteria!?

Please re read the article
Guest
Please re read the article

For the comments who missed it, it’s within a year or the guy should be YOUNGER (can be more than a year younger). This addresses the problem of guys marrying much younger girls and causing a gap for the older girls (not really older, just not 18-24. 25 is still very young, but the 26 year old guys are marrying 19/20 year olds.

finally
Guest
finally

even though this idea needs some corrections, but finally somebody is willing to invest his time and money into the issue

single guy
Guest
single guy

Maybe if these girls didn’t reject guys like me for the most ridiculous reasons they wouldn’t still be single.

Status?
Guest
Status?

I agree with #66. Why did Ashkenazi rabbis, at least, totally dispense with this idea? Of course it would further suggest a woman’s lack of status compared to the man, especially nowadays – but in an orthodox Jewish world where the underlying message, virtually from early childhood, seems to be that a woman is worthless unless she marries (bears/rears children?) surely it might be seen as the lesser of two evils. Of course it’s never going to happen . . .

Brilliant
Guest
Brilliant

Because shadchanim weren’t pushy enough as it is!

Amazing!
Guest
Amazing!

I think this is an amazing idea and a huge chessed….I think the age limitation is a very good idea but could be also a few years apart to not limit possible options….

women's rights
Guest
women's rights

don’t you think women should have a right to marry an older established man, instead of taking a risk with a guy who has no proven ability to have a parnassah, and not otherwise proven himself either? Maybe a guy in his late 20s, or older, has proven himself, and then he merits to marry a good woman???

Great idea
Guest
Great idea

Regardless of the age criteria, this offer levels the playing field. All too often potential matchmakers focus on connecting people known to have money. Regardless of the rules, this will start people thinking in new directions. Good luck to everyone looking to meet their mate in life!

THANKS!!!
Guest
THANKS!!!

Firstly,Thanks for doing a MITZVAH!!! It is still better than doing nothing at all. I agree with most that 25 is young, but the grant talks about AT LEAST 25, thus it includes a large older crowd…
Big problem in the community just like in the rest of the world: man want YOUNG, SLIM, PRETTY GIRLS FROM WELL-TO-DO FAMILIES!!!! It a huge problem. A 40 yo guy still wants a girl in late 20th….and she must look like a model too.
People must look past physical appearences so much and age of potential mates. Only then we will see the solution…

Reply to #5
Guest
Reply to #5

If you’re an “ancient single” what am I? You’re young enough to be my daughter.

Shallow or what?
Guest
Shallow or what?

Why do so many orthodox young men only consider the outer shell (beauty, good figure, etc) of a potential shidduch as the major priority. One can understand it to a certain extent, it’s only natural to want one’s potential life partner to look like a ‘million dollars’, the best of the bunch, and to feel physically attracted to her. But some pleasant enough looking girls may have a wonderful personality, wit, humour, empathy, social, practical and life problem solving skills that will over-ride any apparent lack in the beauty stakes – yes physically beautiful girls have them also! But women… Read more »

worthless
Guest
worthless

as long as shaddachans refuse to work with older singles and continue to treat them as outcasts this will never help.

Rules
Guest
Rules

in my humble opinion this initiative will not help girls 25 years of age or older get married. Especially with the difficult rules in place. Maybe I’m wrong and shidduchim have been made because of this initiative . However I’m sure there would b more matches made if these rules were not in play.With so much money being offered, what would be most logical is If every age bracket was in play for girls not married. More people would be motivated to earn some money. For example: A match for a girl from the age of 18 to 21 would… Read more »

will not help
Guest
will not help

As a ger who for the last 8 years has been basically been dateless because no shaddachan is willing to send me suggestions I do not see how this will fix the situation. It seems it will just make it worse. Now because I am not younger or within a year of the person that’s another excuse not to set me up. STOP THE RACISM.

what if
Guest
what if

the couple is already dating and they fit the profile/criteria?

question
Guest
question

for that age category can be not the first marriage????????????????
As an incentive for people to work on shidduchim for older girls, Rechnitz offered the supplement shadchanus money for girls over 25 who marry a boy their own age or younger.

Excellent!
Guest
Excellent!

Loved #72

The real answer
Guest
The real answer

#66 has it right. Just too many girls looking for too many of the same types of guys. Need to get away form the 1:1 ratio. We need to return to the derech in the alte shtut. The way things used to be.

 a parent who supports an OLDER COUPLE In Shaonah Reshonah
Guest
a parent who supports an OLDER COUPLE In Shaonah Reshonah

Why the Shadchan- WHY NOT the Couple?

CYNICS SHOULD BE ASHAMED!
Guest
CYNICS SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

Here we have a wonderful individual who wants to make a difference and then comes some of us enough to question the motive, the intent, the mitzvah. How dare we?! You want to make a difference pick up the phone now and reach out. Let’s make a shidduch today and many many more iyh money or not.

A Matchmaker can not help you till you have done the innerwork.
Guest
A Matchmaker can not help you till you have done the innerwork.

I came across this article and I think the initiative is wonderful. That said I do not believe Matchmakers can always be effective if the person they are working with has a lack of clarity about what they are looking for and this is a very common problem and the largest contributor to the shiduch crisis as a whole. My Wife Bari Lyman is an author, speaker and the creator of something called the Meet To Marry method. I have heard her speak on the subject dozens of times. Essentially if a person looking for a match is not clear… Read more »

What about Israel?!
Guest
What about Israel?!

! Shiduchim in Israel can’t join the fun!!!! ….😫…. ” girls must live in North America ….. “

98, where does an older bachur find such a shadchan?
Guest
98, where does an older bachur find such a shadchan?

I have been looking (on and off, anyway) for a Shadchan who would take the time to actually match people up based on their individuality and not just throw any two people at each other and ‘hope’, it works out.
Or worse…try and make a match based on preconceived notions (such as all boys have the same basic notion at to what kind of girl they think is ‘beautiful’. I certainly don’t).

a great idea - thanks to all involved
Guest
a great idea - thanks to all involved

I love the idea, and my thanks to those who are doing this great deed which will bring rewards here and above.

X