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Thursday, 27 Adar I, 5784
  |  March 7, 2024

Conference Call: Recognizing Abuse

Tuesday 8:45 pm: Adai Ad’s next conference call on marriage will address "Is this normal? Recognizing abusive behavior early in marriage." Full Story

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Married to a former abuser.
April 18, 2018 1:04 pm

If only I received I was seeking but instead was given misguided advice to remain while I was living in CH. The lack of awareness is shameful, criminal and terrifying. This is a good idea

To #7
April 17, 2018 8:52 am

There’s a reason why Adai Ad organization made this conference call. It is because of all the anonymous phone calls of woman actually being abused that no one hears about. Sadly many people beleive what you just wrote which is why men are really the ones getting away with abuse and even woman don’t believe their fellow abused woman and abusive evil men are given respect because they know how to look very innocent. You don’t have to be a good actor to appear innocent.

To #7
April 17, 2018 8:12 am

What are you talking about? That is made up and actually not what happens at all! This is actually what men who neglect or abuse their wife and kids want you to believe. According to the law you cannot kidnap your children and never let them see their father. Not only that and I know this from experience, fathers who are abusers and neglecters have rights over their kids even if they wake up one day when the kids are older and easier to take care of they can suddenly decide they want to have all their visitation rights and… Read more »

Keep pitting men against women
April 16, 2018 9:25 pm

To all commentators: There is a lot of real abuse, there are also a lot of manufactured allegations and plenty misuse of the word. The bigger problem is generalizing words like “feeling controlled.”. If one spouse isn’t practical, and spends wildly, they will certainly feel controlled. But that is not abuse or anything wrong, and is actually beneficial for both of them. Most reasonable people will understand this. But if everyone was reasonable there wouldn’t be as many issues, so such terms are ripe for misuse. It’s very popular today to pit men against women. Unfortunately that leads to the… Read more »

Husband abuse!!!
April 16, 2018 8:47 pm

Today the system is clear. If you are a man and your wife screams at you then it is an argument. If you scream back then it is abuse. Enough of this double standard.!! Ive seen so many wives belittle their husbands in public and in front of guests that I almost want to skip marriage altogether. Unless it is actually physical hitting which must be stopped immediately the word abuse it definately overused. Answering back to a nasty woman is not abuse. People should Stop abusing the word “abuse”. How about wives that kiddnap their kids and run away… Read more »

To #4
April 16, 2018 4:46 pm

It’s really the opposite of what you said. The reality is actually that many people beleive what you wrote and so do not believe the victim. As a result most victims of abuse do not come for ward And speak openly about it. And #3 the majority of woman that say they’re abused are not lying and many of those abusers who are men act like innocent victims.

To number 3
April 16, 2018 4:42 pm

You are so right!!!!glad people are becoming aware.I’m a adult child who grew up in an abusive home. The abuser still goes around claiming the victim is the abuser and so many believe this sick person. We children live in the dark, nobody helped or cares now and we go on in our lives dealing with these issues while the abuser continues to shame and makes proprganda against all their victims….so painful.

The Word "Abuse"
April 16, 2018 3:27 pm

This word as well as others are often overused and missused. There are cases where there is abuse but not as many as the claims…

30 years ago people felt an internal commitment to work through things and trust that there is always hope

Now it is far more common to “use” all the key words in order to use the system to get out rather than stay in…

Our goal has to be to fix rather than to find reasons to break the union

Suggestion
April 16, 2018 12:36 pm

1) It’s not always woman who are victims. MANY MANY woman abuse their husbands and children. Putting a picture of a woman in the flyer just furthers the erroneous stereotype. 2) One needs to be careful labeling something as “abuse” in their own marriage after going to a “lecture on abuse,” and this could lead to unnecessary and avoidable sholom bayis issues. In fact many times the ABUSER calls the other spouse the ABUSER when in fact they are the victim. 3) If from the lecture it appears what’s happening is in fact abusive, a neutral *professional* 3rd party (not… Read more »

I certainly hope there will be realistic suggestions
April 16, 2018 11:35 am

Concerning WHO to call for support if the early days are not “bliss”. I’m sorry to say that our local Rabbonim are still not all knowledgeable about abuse & generations are suffering as a result.

And...
April 16, 2018 11:23 am

and for people BEFORE they get married!!!!

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