By Rabbi Shea Hecht – Chairman of NCFJE
As good gift-givers know, finding a suitable gift involves figuring out what the person we have in mind wants and needs.
We now find ourselves in the weeks leading up to and preparing for Gimmel Tammuz. We know exactly what the Rebbe wants and there is no need for guesswork. The Rebbe made a personal request (“bakasha nafshis”) that he wants us to appoint for ourselves a mashpia.
Over the last 20 years, particularly since Gimmel Tammuz, I have seen both the need and success of having a mashpia in a revealed way. I heard many amazing stories firsthand of how having a mashpia made the difference- often miraculously.
Those who have lived by the Rebbe’s directive to designate for themselves a Mashpia have enjoyed having the resource of a worthy person’s counsel and have appreciated many blessings and beneficial results.
Furthermore, having a mashpia provides the answer to a pressing question: How did the Rebbe not appoint a successor for us? The answer is simple.
The Rebbe left us with this plan to guide us. A plan for us to follow. If followed properly, the Rebbe’s advice and guidance through our mashpia will be clear. The power of Rebbe was given to the relationship of a mashpia and mushpa.
When someone is asked to act as a mashpia, it is important to take on the challenge, even if one feels inadequate. Although it may seem more humble to keep it “unofficial,” the Rebbe wanted designated mashpias.
Having a mashpia is not just for ruchnius’dik aspects, but gashmius’dik ones as well. Even in regard to business, people find that a special bracha comes with the advice of a mashpia.
Recently I paid a visit to a friend of mine in his office. I noticed a toy prominently displayed on his desk. Curious, I asked him about it. He related to me a story of his mashpia, which not only impacted the ruchniusdik aspects of his life but the most gashmiusdik as well.
His family owns a business and he had to make an important decision on whether and how to expand and sell certain items. He decided to consult with his mashpia, hoping that by doing so, he would become a keli for the Rebbe’s bracha. His mashpia advised him to avoid selling a certain item and encouraged him to invest in selling another.
Sure enough, when he took inventory and saw which items had sold well and which hadn’t, his mashpia’s advice had been spot on! Everything his mashpia said came to be. He actually keeps one of those unsuccessful items on his desk to remind him of the power of a mashpia even in unexpected ways.
Perhaps a parallel to having a mashpia can be found in the Tanya. The Alter Rebbe writes in the introduction to the Tanya that in order to address the many questions people continuously present to the Rebbe, the Tanya’s purpose is to address the problems chasidim might have.
Therefore, the Tanya became the conduit to enable each chasid to receive the Rebbe’s instructions when they could not ask the Rebbe personally. Similarly, having a mashpia can enable us to have this same privilege.
Knowing how important it is to the Rebbe that we each have a mashpia, what more suitable act can we do in preparation for Gimmel Tammuz?
have you tried findamashpia.info for women and girls and mashpiim.org for men or boys?
I really want to get a mashpia but I cannot find someone with whom I am comfortable with, and who will not judge me. I see that many peple have the same problem, perhaps it can be addressed.
Well written and timely. Something to speak about for GIMMEL TAMMUZ HACHLOTO.
I believe this is not your point, however, the way in which you say your point it seems as if you are saying that because the Rebbe “is no longer here with us” after Gimmel Tammuz (which this itself is entirely untrue – the Rebbe is still here with us begashmius) therefore the Rebbe left us an alternative – a mashpia. This is incorrect. There is no replacement whatsoever for the Rebbe, the Rebbe is the Rebbe and that’s it. A mashpia is important, yes, and the Rebbe wants us to have a mashpia, true, however the manner in which… Read more »
It made me do some soul searching
R Hecht or some other knowledgable person can you guide me how to find one?
What age group should we be looking for? Some people although well meaning don’t have a clue how to guide and it can be a disaster!!!
For me. I struggle to find the right Mashpia. I know the Rebbe says to find one but I can’t seem to! How do I go about it? I feel lost.I feel bad but I don’t have one
But I have a dilemma.For a long time now I have tried to find a Mashpia but can’t seem to find someone I feel comfortable sharing stuff with. How can I trust to share personal stuff? How do I know they won’t judge me?
Can one have more then 1 Mashpia for different things?
Please advise
If the rebbe says go to rofeh yidid, a doctor who is a friend, and you decide to go to your mashpia. That is not listening to the rebbe. If you are faced with an investment opportunity and instead of asking by experts in the field you are asking a mashpia you are not following the rebbe. If you need a bracha for your parnasa you are should not be asking him or her financial advice. For a bracha you go to the rebbe.
How is one to know who is the right person for you? Often I find that I talk to my Mashpia and am not receiving clear instructions. There is an Inyun to have a Mashpia just because the Rebbe said, at least until you can find one that works for you, but in the meantime how do you know if that person is one you should be listening to? If you respect them but there are aspects that make you uncomfortable…?
i go to a non lubavitch school and a girl in my class was just asking me this question! now i can give her the proper answer! boruch Hashem! Thank you!
I am surprised that people ask this question. The Rebbe CLEARLY addressed this issue on ב’ ניסן תשמ”ח right after the שבעה of the Rebetzin.
If you are not sure what the Rebbe said, learn that Sicha.
A mashpia is something that was so important to the rebbe, yet it is not stressed enough. More people need one and don’t have. There are many people that are falling into this dark galus because they don’t have a guide (mashpia) helping along the way. It has to be stressed for both the Mashpia, and the Mekabel. The mashpia has to understand and know that even if s/he might be ‘unprepared’ to accept the ‘job’, they must know that the rebbe gives a koach to all mashpiim. And as for the Mekabel, s/he must accept what his/ her mashpia… Read more »
Very inspiring and well said.
I have a practical question – how does one go about choosing a mashpia?
And you know for a fact that the Rebbe, in directing that mashpi’im should be appointed, hasn’t thereby also given them a shtikel nevuah… how, exactly?
Seriously? A video yes, but Mashpia no?
Sorry but the Rebbe instructed people to have a mashpiah on ruchniesdike avoidodike matters. For business or other gashmiusdike metters the Rebbe clearly said keatzas yedidim mevinim or mumchim like on refuah keatzas roife yedid or two mumchim. Also in yinyonim klolim that are related to halocho the Rebbe clearly instructed on the famous sicho to ask the BD al asar.
Is not the phrase in pirke avos, “a-say l’cha Rav” the same idea; and this is not a chiddush? but having said that; perhaps the not so simple aspect of procuring a mashpia, a Rav; is to choose one, the right one; the best one for you, etc. Maybe the phrase “A’say l’cha Rav” is more appropriate than the kabalistic term Masphia. while the Rav should have hashpah on his mkabel / Talmud ; perhaps it is important that the mashpia specifically be more of a “Rav” type, than a commoner??? I use a yeshiva rabbi, rosh yeshiva, and often… Read more »
Thank you COL for bringing such an important topic to the forefront. I believe that if more people would utilize the mashpia formula, people would be happier today.
A wise Mashpia will direct the person in the right direction. I think the point here is feel comfortable to discuss anything with your Mashpia. A Mashpia is someone who excels in Ahavas Yisrael ( the Rebbe gave a signed copy of kuntres Ahavas Yisrael to anyone who 3+ ppl appointed as a Mashpia. Such a loving and kind person will not pretend to know things he’s not knowledgable about. But can steer you in the right direction. Have suggestions of who may be good to speak to. Additionally, speaking to someone you trust is caring kind and non judgemental… Read more »
A mashpia is not to give advice on gashmius. As the rebbe explains only a navi can do that which is one of the proofs that rebbeim who gave such an advice were on the status of a navi! If one goes to a you twist what a mashpia is to give advice on gashmius and make him the conduit that sounds very much like an eigel Hazahav. A replacement for Moshe. I understand your desire to make the mashpia more important in peoples eyes, but the rebbe did not say go to your mashpia for gashmiyus advice. the three… Read more »
Thank you Rabbi Hecht for sharing such a practical and important post. I consult my mashpia on various topics. Including business. There was one particular large deal that was a long shot and I knew would consume a lot of my time. My mashpia encouraged me to pursue it anyway. I agreed but insisted that he give me a Brachah (as the Rebbe’s Shliach). He did and the deal worked out BH which led to another etc. It catapulted me into an entire new industry KA”H. I think back about how much having a Mashpia meant to me over the… Read more »