Last week, during a Young Women’s Kinus held in Crown Heights at the Rubashkin home, Rabbi Shea Hecht addressed over a hundred post-seminary girls on the topic of “Thirteen Secrets to Successful Dating’.
Many of the girls expressed that they attended that day in order to hear this specific talk, since the topic is so relevant and so many girls feel the need for good advice in this area. The girls were eager for the opportunity to hear a veteran dating coach discuss this hot topic and to have the chance to ask questions.
Does your average girl or boy of marriageable age agree that the dating system which is in place actually works? If so, consider the astounding amount of young adults above the age of 25 who are not yet married. Where does the problem behind this crisis lie?
Rabbi Hecht, in his signature down-to-earth and humorous manner, intrigued the girls by presenting to them his Thirteen Secrets to Successful Dating. Are the young men and women making sure to communicate clearly to their parents, or whoever is helping them, what it is they’re looking for? And vice versa? Are the young men and women who are going on dates dismissing the other person after just one meeting? Are they truly aware that the first date is NOT an audition for marriage, but rather an audition for a second date?
Rabbi Hecht engaged the girls in a riveting discussion on these matters, pointing them in the right direction to make their own experience while in this stage of their lives, a successful one. He addressed questions such as “How do I know what I am looking for?” and “Is it necessary to share my past with my date?” Additionally discussed were topics such as how to keep the first date light, certain negative behaviors to be on the lookout for, knowing the right time to approach certain subjects, and your actual decision making.
An issue which also came up is whether there are areas in which the parents and Shadchanim can improve their methods and attitudes? Are families perhaps being too picky, only to find their child eventually engaged to someone whom they had turned down years before?
Rabbi Hecht touched on many important aspects of the shidduch scene and gave the girls lots of food for thought. This practical and informative session was certainly a highlight of the convention.
would have definitely wanted my daughter to attend.
Will there be another? If so please advertise so we have an opportunity to attend.
I am so glad I attended this session. I went to the event specifically for this talk and am so happy I did! It was so practical and helpful I would love to hear more, thank you Rabbi Hecht!
Has there own malach and shliach who guides and helps them. There are a number of special individuals who help in this area. But for me it was Rabbi H! He asked the right questions and understood what I was saying. He helped me make the decisions only I could make!
No one said no 6 you have to follow Rabbi H advise or even agree but no need for attitude. And yes as someone on this forum said call his office and make an apt to discuss your concerns.
HAtzlocha to all
True life experience and knowledge of how the world works. Rabbi Shea ks very down to earth and very helpful.
Humbly and with tremendous compassion was the Gutta shaliach for our family and did not charge for his numerous hours with helpful advice and plenty of heart. He gave us countless hours … Thank you Rabbi!
No need to be bitter or nasty
Folks, why would such a presentation never be addressed to the boys?
Rabbi Shea spends his days and nights helping people beyond anyone’s expectations, without expecting nor getting anything in return. Two members of my family have been witness to his unseen goodness and kindness.
Why do we always have to be so negative? If his talk helps even one couple find each other it’s worth it!! Let’s be positive that’s the only way things are going to work!!
i suggest you meet with Rabbi hecht to discuss these issues. He can be reached by calling his office 7187350213
718-735-0200
or email: [email protected]
1. Were you at the session, hearing all the details of the points listed above? 2. Did you even once in your life have a conversation with Rabbi Hecht? Probably not because he is soooooo busy counseling people that it’s quite difficult to get an appointment with him. (I know…I’ve tried!) When someone is that popular a counselor it’s pretty clear he is giving out some solid advice. I personally have friends whose marriage he saved. My point here is you probably don’t have a clue as to the quality of his work. And his opinions are what people want… Read more »
Sounds interesting. About the questions/issues covered: 1. “Successful dating.” What constitutes “successful” dating? Is that one which ends in marriage, or is it successful when you determine the other is not suitable for you? (I’d say the latter is included). 2. “Veteran dating coach.” How is this quantified? Who applied the term veteran? Based on what – time, amount of people he coached? What did he coach? Did his clients say he was helpful and would they recommend him to others? 3. “Does your average girl or boy of marriageable age agree that the dating system which is in place… Read more »
Was it recorded and if yes how can I get hold of it?
Does Rabbi H give this talk to 25 plus young individuals struggling ….?
Unfortunately many of the boys are lost in drugs or secular pursuits; some girls too for that matter. They are just bored or influenced by materialism and the idea that a poor person, etc is dead. What does this mean? If the child is depending on parents to arrange, yes I see a certain arrogant attitude. Girls sometimes don’t even know a certain boy was suggested. Then again I hear if he doesn’t come from lots of $ or prestigious name or great parnosa, forget about it.
was this a private not taped session?
How does one book the Rabbi for parents?
where can we watch this session online?