Rabbi Zvi Drizin, Director of The Intown Chabad in Dallas, TX, wrote the following public letter to Baci Weiler, a student of the University of Chicago, who proudly reported about fooling a sincere Chabad bochur and had him put Tefillin on her.
Here it is:
Dear Baci,
Must be a great day for you? You got 66 shares on your recent public Facebook post. A family member sent me the article about it in the Times of Israel telling how you suckered this poor naive Chabad boy into putting Tefillin on with you, a female, against what he believes.
That poor boy who doesn’t have “any concept of fluidity in gender expression” didn’t realize that not only are you really a woman but you had already put on Tefillin that morning.
The idea of Tefillin seems very important to you, but the idea of taking G-d’s name in vain seems less so (Brachah l’vatalah).
The idea of gender sensitivity and fluidity seems to be of importance to you, but the concept of being honest in your interactions are not?
Your friends on Facebook (at least 121 of them by last count) seem to love what you did, but what about that boy? What about the fact that this boy was just a nice guy who trying to help out another Jew in his way. Did he deserve the embarrassment of being a public sucker? He is a real person with real feeling living amongst real people.
A good friend of yours recently reminded me of the importance of being sensitive to others who are perhaps not the mainstream… A “Chareidi” man is no less worthy of sensitivity than anyone else in society and our tradition is very clear about what the values of sensitivity are.
Baci, I don’t know the boy’s name, but he deserves an apology. Fast.
Zvi
P.S. Yes, this is a public letter publicly answering a public Facebook post and a public article.
UPDATE:
Rabbi Drizin noted: I was notified at 1:30PM that the original article on Times of Israel had been changed to read “Weiler was surprised by the question, and as it turned out, she had not donned tefillin yet that day.”
In the original version I commented on, there was no mention of the fact that she had not yet put on Tefillin that yet. The only thing that was said was that she had been putting on daily for the past 10 months. I have thus taken out a paragraph from my letter in relationship to saying G-d’s name in vain.
As for Baci Weiler, she has made the original Facebook post “private” and wrote that “Watching these photos spread, I’ve had time to reflect on their implications.”
She explained that “It was a powerful moment, but also painful and wrong – because it was under false pretenses. Though his mistaken assumptions instigated the encounter, I let it continue without correcting him.
“Though I didn’t force him to do something wrong, I allowed him to do something he presumably would have been uncomfortable doing given complete knowledge of the situation …Despite our ideological differences, I owed him this basic level of respect as a fellow Jew and as a human. For that I am sorry.
“… Beyond this, my post was interpreted as personally mocking him, and for that I am also sorry. This was not my intention …”
hello pepole insted of siting here like klutzes (this includes me) how about we take something out of it yes i think she owes one big apolgey to the rebbe yes i think her opoliges are not enugh but whatabout us what do we have to do? this is just i sine of how close we are to gulah!!!!!!!!!!!! and the last stes are allways the hardest but therewere so meany grater tzadikim then us in the jenoritons why are we the 1s who get to take this finle step?! it defntley means we have the pour there is defnitley… Read more »
No Historical evidence
Only Michal bas Shaul, see Gemoro and meforshim
A misnagid is a state of mind – not a specific subset of Jews.
#75 is absolutely correct. You really need to do some research before you write things about Halacha on a public website .You can start with the source mentioned in comment #44,or you could just ask a Rav.
And to Rabbi Zvi Drizin,can you please research the matter and post a retraction,as your comments have led to some confusion.
#75
YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE HECK YOUR TALKING ABOUT! YOU CANT MAKE A BROCHO ON TEFILLIN TWICE ON SAME DAY. FOOD AND TEFILLIN ARE 2 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT HALOCHOS
If someone puts on tefillin in the morning, takes them off, has a hesach ha’daas, and then wants to put them on again in the afternoon, it is not considered a blessing in vain.
If you made a bracha on food in the morning, and five hours later you eat again and make another bracha, is it l’vatala?
Honestly I think everyone (in the world) is taking this story WAY too personally. What i see here? An amazing story of love for a fellow human being. A guy asked someone to help make the world a nicer place thru a solution he feels works. The person agreed because she felt it brings her closer to G-D. She later realized that the boy might have been upset with her twisting his solution to fit her own. She PUBLICLY apologized for misleading him. At the end of the day, he accomplished his solution to a better world, and she accomplished… Read more »
Many seforim state Rashi’s daughters not only put on Tefillin but tzitzis and every other mitzvah Zman gromoh.
if mitzvos are as choshuv to her as her apology states they are, may I assume she is scrupulously keeping all the mitzvos she’s actually obliged to keep and is now ready to take on even more mitzvos – those that were ordained by Hashem to be men’s obligations? somehow i get the feeling that to baci and her likeminded female friends keeping men’s mitzvos is so much more titillating, for lack of a better word, than keeping those that they’re actually obliged to keep. while I strongly believe that, as the Rebbe has taught us, women have the ability… Read more »
a tefillin stand and will now stop and say, ok, why not Ill put them on then maybe this whole episode will have been worth it. They say there is no such thing as bad publicity.
I find it all amusing, but the fact that many secular Jews are paying attention to this story will lead only to good…
I think the Rebbe would laugh it off and be happy if as a result a few more people will pay more attention because each added mitzvah brings Moshiach one step closer…
The fact that Rashi’s daughter put on tefillin is completely irrelevant. The point here is that this woman hurt this bochur. How does the fact that Rashi’s daughter put on tefillin make that okay?
And by the way, yes, Rashi’s daughter put on tefillin, but she was on a much higher level than most of us today, certainly higher than this young woman.
by the way i wouldent compare shabbos candles to tefillin there is absolutely no problem for a man to light shabbos candles (see hilchos shabbos.) on the other hand it is strongly “condemned” for a woman to put on tefillin.
If she’s really sorry, she should come to Crown Heights and be a Shabbos guest for one whole Shabbos!!
Even if the bachur thought it looked like a girl you can’t always tell who’s who . Nowadays men look like woman and vice versa. As for the girl she sounds like she didn’t want to embarrass the bachur by telling him his mistake. She’s still young it looks like, maybe we should give her the benefit of the doubt since when she gets old and changes she’ll be so embarrassed, poor thing…
It is a bracha levatala since she had already put on tefilin that morning and she did it again.
i hope this jewish woman(if she really is & i’m not beeing sarcastic at all) lives up to her jewish sisters who have put on tefilin, NOT IN PUBLIC, as Rashi’s daughters, michal bas cushi & the Ohr Hachaim’s daughters.
MISCONCEPTION: Rashi’s daughters wore tefillin.
FACT: There is no evidence that Rashi’s daughters wore tefillin
.
in her mind as she expresses in her letter,this occurrence was VERY VERY MEANINGFUL TO HER,”she felt connected etc.” so CHABAD (the bachor) did her a VERY BIG FAVOR (but a very UNCOMFORTABLE one on their part), SHE now in return owes chabad a VERY BIG FAVOR (even if it may be UNCOMFORTABLE),a favor that CHABAD feels meaningful,she should go to her nearest chabad house & ask what that favor would be..
you mention civility…then why the “Misnagdim” comment??? ps. I am an-embarrassed- Lubavitcher
this was intentional disrespect for the bochur, the mitzvah of tefillin Etc Etc not some innocent on the spot mistake
how else do you think she got picture? she set the whole thing up on purpose, she went to the stand with this in mind
her apology is meaningless because its a lie
How bout instead of the title of this article being “Rabbi calls out liberal hypocrite” why not change it to “Rabbi writes letter admonishing misguided young woman who we hope will come to make teshuva and lead a life of Torah and mitzvot”
Even If someone has put on teffilin that day it iant a bracha lvatolo to put on tfillin that day with a brocho.
moshiach now!!!!!!!!!!!
Well said.
From the letter and the update, it seems that Rabbi Drizin is saying that she would have said a bracha levatala only if she had already put on tefillin earlier in the day. He’s not saying that just because she’s a woman it would be levatala.
Well done Rabbi Drizin, standing up for whats really right!!!!
It’s not about the Bochor or the Brocha. It’s about the mockery and the glee on the original posting and the comments. The apology is after the fact. And it would have to be accompanied by action to really mean anything. Something like giving out Shabbos candles only to girls on Friday for 10 weeks and posting the pictures on Facebook each week with a story about the experience.
Yes, men can also light Shabbos candles. But in Chabad we give them to girls. Like we only pit Tefilin on boys.
No one mentioned the issur with touching a woman who is not your wife, mother or grandmother.
The bochur would never have put on teffilin with a woman,
Even if it would offend her.
So if she puts on teffilin by herself at home or shul,
That is her issue
But every bochur knows,putting on teffilin on a stranger
Means you have to touch them several times.
Maybe you’d be right, if not for the fact that Shulchan Aruch disagrees, because of a guf noki (which has several interpretations, one if that even a man has the same problem, the only thing is that a man has a mitzvah, so he needs to put on, but a women doesn’t have the mitzvah, so we don’t risk it, but there are also other explanations.)
And I don’t think you can’t prove anything from Rashi’s daughters, being that as far as I’m aware, it’s word of mouth (I.e. a rumour) without a source.
She should continue to wrap tefillin every day… my oppinion.. not worth much.
I wouldnt say it is a bracha lvatala….. if she apologized… lets just move on.
Why on earth would she ask mechila from the Rebbe for this? She didn’t insult the Rebbe. She insulted the boy, and would need to ask mechila from him, and do teshuva to Hashem for genivas daas, but in yiddishkeit we focus on the person we hurt, and Hashem. Lets leave the Rebbe out of this and focus on the eibeishter when talking about teshuva.
But her paraphrased: “I did not mean to hurt anyone” is rediculous. I think that this really really needs to be looked at not as victimization, resentment etc. however unfortunate, it needs to be approached completely objectively. This Bochur was doing the Rebbe’s work. Period. There is nothing to feel ashamed about however unfortunate and uncomfortable the story may be. Just as objective as the concept of mivtzoyim is with only one goal in mind, should be the reaction to any distraction that tries to prevent that work from being done in its proper way.
A bit of the story from the other side. This is a girl who puts on tefillin every day. (Whether we agree with her or or not, her motivations are legit.) Not for feminist reasons but for spiritual ones. On that day she had not yet put on her tefillin, and when she saw the bochur, she thought this would be a humorous way of fulfilling a perceived obligation. There was no political agenda, or anti frum agenda. It may have been in bad taste, but as far as I know, it was definitely not intended to be anti frum,… Read more »
I don’t think that’s the point of the discussion.
People play with fire but when they get burnt it’s not funny anymore I hope God forgives her P.S I think this was a big fire
The Mitzvah of Tefillin is all day long, and one has to make a Bracha every time one puts them on, unless one had in mind,while taking them off, to put them back on immediately (see Shulchan Aruch Harav OH 25/29). This article further supports the idea that Shluchim need better training in Halacha.
“Two days ago, I posted a couple of photos of myself putting on tefillin at a Chabad stand in Union Square. Watching these photos spread, I’ve had time to reflect on their implications. These thoughts are still not fully formed, but I hope both my critics and supporters read them carefully and charitably. The encounter itself was brief, shocking, and personally significant. Being seen as a man, despite being a woman, was paradoxically validating: for just a minute, I was no longer an Other – the mechitza that has frustrated me for years dissolved. As he carefully wrapped the tefillin… Read more »
How very egalitarian to take advantage of another person who sees things a little differently than you.
Zvi amended the article with Baci’s apology. Nice outcome to the whole mess
maybe there is no prohibition on a women putting on tefillin , but the embarrasement of the boy is not fair!
Please, stop ‘attacking’ this young lady. The Rebbe said: “The rebellion of young people is not a crime. On the contrary: It is the fire of the soul that refuses to conform, that is dissatisfied with the status quo, that cries out that it wants to change the world and is frustrated with not knowing how.”
Quite appropriately, the Rebbe I think said this when he first started to send schluhim to college campuses!
I feel so bad for the bachur
MISCONCEPTION: Rashi’s daughters wore tefillin.
FACT: There is no evidence that Rashi’s daughters wore tefillin
.
you guys are misinformed, are you seriously too daft to see whats clearly written in Shulchan aruch harav, (OC 38:3), quoting the Rama and the kol bo, that a woman who wants to put on tefillin should be protested against?
furthermore this myth about Rashi’s daughters was perpetrated by the feminist movement in the 20th century, and is completely baseless.
lets bohur supply her with Shabat Candle
Why do women try to be like men? I don’t get it.
So proud of you, fearless, as always!
Rashis daughter put on tefilin, no big deal!!! Nothing wrong for woman to put on tefilin
you don’t seem to get it. this is not about the bochur who wanted to give a fellow jew the privilege of donning tefillin. why do you think it’s imperative that others accept, or better still, applaud your perspective of life and not heartily accord others the same courtesy as long as their perspective is not maliciously harmful to others? this young man’s perspective of “fluidity” ( new age lingo for “anything goes?”) includes being fluid enough to genuinely care for his fellow jew no matter what their perspective. this, though he would never adopt that perspective. too bad the… Read more »
The girl apologized on her Facebook page.
B”H
Women are allowed al pi halacha to do a mitvas aseh she hazman grama…and Ashekenazik even make a bracha on Lulav and Sukkah…so chill your grill and stop chastising her…she probably didn’t know much and even if she did it maliciously she gets SACHAR
The girl who claims to be a feminist is actually the biggest chovonist at the moment. She reduced herself to her physical traits – in other words, her claim to the bochur was, how could you not see I’m a girl? Yes, I have a buzzed head and big shirt, but if you look a drop further, you’ll see I’m a girl. So that’s all she was betting on. The boy, on the other hand, a true shliach, either truly didn’t notice – respect for that, or did notice but chose not to make an issue out of it due… Read more »
Dehumanizing this sweet pure boy is ok though.
Thx for sticking up for the kovod of the Rebbe.
I sent her an email yesterday. Here it is. Hey There Baci, I dont know you, and you may not know me, though Facebook connects this world in such crazy ways. I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you that this picture you posted made me terribly sad today. I am sure you are a nice person, but whether you realize it or not, you really hurt a perfect stranger. I can assume pretty safely that you are not a mean person. I say that because of what I read on your public page. You seem to be… Read more »
I strongly encourage this bochur to forget about it and double and redouble his efforts in doing mivtzayim. There is no embarrassment here. You did the Rebbe’s shlichus with simple sincerity and were dan l’chaf zechus. This is no less than what was demanded of you. A number of people in the past I put on tefilin with someone only to have them say that were not Jewish but they just wanted to see what it was all about. You either take the risk or don’t do mivtzayim again. I think the choice is clear.
Dovid
The woman has apologized. Unfortunately, I don’t think that there is anything to be gained by engaging in public debate with such people.
And there is no reason for the bochur to be embarrassed. She looked like a man, so naturally he assumed she was one. No harm was done. There’s no actual issur in a woman wearing tefillin. At the end of the day she did a mitzvah and he helped her do it, so he gave the Rebbe nachas and should feel proud, not ashamed.
this “descent” for this bochur will lead to a greater ascent! may he be zoche to see it speedly! and dont let the yetzer hara put u down by going through this, by stopping u C”v to continue the Rebbe’s work fakert go with all the chizuk u have and the Rebbe will see it and be very proud!
The comments vociferously agreeing with the rabbi are ironically doing exactly the thing he is protesting against. None of you know this wonderful girl who is committed to Torah and mitzvot, and this was clearly done in jest with no intention of gaining the type of publicity it now has. Please be dan l’chaf zchut and do not call her spiteful or wicked, even if from your secondhand account of the events, you feel she is. Lastly, before criticizing her from behind your anonymous computer screens, check yourself. Have you been perfect about treating everyone with respect? If not, please… Read more »
And all this hatred is Sinas chinom
It appears to me, without checking deeper into the Halocho, there is no prohibition (issur) against a lady putting on Tefillin, as it is known that Rashi’s daughters put on Tefillin.
The only person embarrassed here is the lady that put on Tefillin & did a mitzvah (against her own principles) & maybe this mitzvah will bring her to Olom Haboh.
Yes this happened and is not a good thing in any way, but by this girl embarrassing someone that made a simple mistake, and all of you making a big deal about it. Saying nasty things about another jew it’s not helping anyones situation. So she doesn’t believe in same values as you. Does that change the fact that shes a jew.
everyone on facebook approves of what she did and praise her :-/
It’s one thing if she just wanted to do a sincere mitzvah and genuinely be closer to Hashem. However, she chose to be a gonif and waste this bochur’s time and energy and may have taken away a sincere Yid’s moment to change the world. This prankster had an agenda, insensitively, at innocent people’s expense. This impulsive behavior reminds me of the pilot who took down the plane full of innocent people, a”H, because he chose seemingly that his own life wasn’t worth value. This prankster is also displaying that it’s ok to “take down” people… to be defiled by… Read more »
What he did is hashgacha pratis. Who knows if someone was walking by at that moment and was inspired by tefilin.
Rabbi Drizin writes very well, though I would have laced a little chessed into the gevurah there.
The bochur’s esteem only goes up, since he is documented as doing mivtzoim, and being not so megusham that he would recognize a woman bisimlas gever.
PS Back in the day, a similar thing happened, that a reporter was in front of 770 and I shook “his” hand. Took me a few minutes to realize that i was “not so fluent in gender fluidity”.
thank you for this letter! well said!! and bochur – keep doing your good work!
You ARE EMES!!!!!!!!
And no doubt that this woman will somehow end up doing teshuva from all this.
NEVER STOP
SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. Can we take a step back here for a moment. Did any of you read what Zvi wrote? I personally don’t agree with all of it – but there is an underlying point that it seems every single commenter here is missing. HUMANITY. Baci seems to have overlooked the humanity of the bochur, treating him as a faceless automaton, forgetting that by publicly sharing that moment, she publicly exposes what she knows he would be uncomfortable with others seeing. At the same time, attacking Baci is equally appalling. I don’t think what she did was malicious in intent… Read more »
Let it burn….
At any rate, you are following korach’s footsteps, in the end of the day you just wanted to do a mitzvah… Maybe you will have a parsha named after you?
in gender expression
shouldn’t allow you to squirt lemon
in someone’s eye
Kol Hakavod to you for this letter and for all the great work you do in Dallas and wherever u go. I’m sure klal Yisroel will continue to benefit from your outstanding creativity.
I want to say that we ALL support you, feel sorry you had to go through this, and are not in any way laughing at you even in the least!! You go on and be strong and do the Rebbe’s work, and do NOT let this small-minded, spiteful girl cause you even one second of aggravation or embarrassment. She is very misguided in thinking that public humiliation is in any way an appropriate response to the kindness of a stranger. You, I admire! Her, I feel sorry for!
I hope you can sleep at night,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I quote the Rabbi what about that boy? What about the fact that this boy was just a nice guy who trying to help out another Jew in his way. Did he deserve the embarrassment of being a public sucker? He is a real person with real feeling living amongst real people.
Not to mention hamalbin pnei chaveiro,, no olam habbah, and guilty of shefichas domim,,,
Why is it a brocho livatolo
and spot on !! Thank you Rabbi Drizin . The world is in chaos now – Yashar Koach to all of ours girls & bochurim who are trying their hardest to bring more light. Perhaps Ms. Weiler should spend some time thinking about her glee at her intentional cruelty to anyone, of any gender, race, or religion, at that other person’s expense.
She is going to have to ask for mechila from the Rebbe for this shtus.