By Chaya Feldman
This is a letter of gratitude to many wonderful women who are role models to me, without their being aware of it.
Being that I live in Crown Heights, the majority of the women I refer to are Crown Heights residents.
When I walk down the avenue and I observe women who are impeccably dressed, according to the standard of Torah and according to the directives of our dear Rebbe, it has a tremendous impact on me. I desire to emulate these women.
“If they can do it, so can I!”
From top to bottom there are no “on the border” issues with the way these women are dressed.
The skirt is not only long enough when the wind does not blow.
The collar bone is not only covered when the neck does not move.
The elbow is not only covered when the arm is not lifted.
The garment is not so tight that it is almost impossible not to look again.
There is no leg exposed below the hem or between the leggings and the short socks.
Their Shaitel covers all every hair.
The attire is the attire of a Bas Melech.
There is a dignity that defies inappropriate fashion.
So when I see a woman dressed this way, what kind of a practical effect does it have on me? It makes me pause in front of the mirror before I leave my home.
I ask myself:
“Am I OK ? Is this the way I want to be seen?”
I know that my attire will influence many people who will see me.
I won’t be able to take it back if I’m not dressed properly.
How do I know if a woman won’t say to herself:
“If it’s OK for her, and she is such a Macher in the community, and she comes from such a prestigious family, then who is to say that it’s not good enough for me?”
Please ladies, take this message to heart because it comes from my heart.
Think of all the Brochos that will come upon you, your husbands, your children and upon all of Klal Yisroel.
Brochos of Gezunt, Parnassah, Nachas and the ultimate Brocha of Moshiach now! May you all have a kesiva vachasima tova.
May this beautifully written article, that has far reaching potential, be a z’chus for you and your family.
In the same vein may we merit that our children be ZOCHEH to teachers that are true Yirai Shomayim that “recognize the importance” of their tznius’dige and refined attire which influences their education b’ruchnius and surprisingly b’gashmius too.
G’Mar Chassima Tova!!
We have to be a light unto the nations. Only by being tzniyusdik will we be looked up to- respectful
I must agree! I am a man and work with woman. Those frum woman who dress “on the border” tznius, I automatically (without even deciding) look at them as an attracting object, it’s hard for me to fully relate to them and have a normal back and forth discussion as I consider them as people that all they go to show is their body. I know it’s many times not true, but that’s how I feel (I can’t help it) and I am sure most men feel the same way. With a fully tziniusdike co-worker, I can easily have a… Read more »
u inspierd me to continue to dress modestly
thank u!!!!!!
The attention paid to maintaining impeccable modest dress conveys self confidence that may well resonate out more than the clothes themselves.
Being dressed in a dignified manner is Attractive in the positive way. You attract respect, you attract good energy, you attract kedusha!
The woman and girls who live in ch and dress modestly don’t know how much of a positive example they are for both those who live in ch and those from out of town who have “given up” on ch tznius.
Truly a well written and beautiful message. Tznius can hasten the full geulah!
Truly inspiring!
Tznius dignifies the Jewish woman.
The right image attracts a respectable response.
i agree with you 100%
good point.
I thought I had a good response to your statement, but it seems I hit a roadblock.
I think that a slight change in your terminology is really reflecting what you intend to say, namely: to change the word attractive to attracting. There is a distinct difference. Attractiveness can be tsniusdik, but attracting is not. I really respect the author of this article for accentuating the positive and truth of the dignity a woman carries about her when her dress is tsniusdik.
well written
hope you will have an impact on those who need to learn from
your letter!
thank you
There is a difference between being attracTIVE and attracTING. Being beautiful and modest is attracTIVE. When someone is immodest, they are attracTING.
so positive
Number 9 said you can be attractive and tznius at the same time. NOPES. I disagree. The entire point of tznius (hence the meaning of the word :hidden) is to make sure you are NOT exposing wrong parts of your body, theirby making you attractive. People are only attractive when their is something exposing, or out-of ordinary (like a red skirt). If someone dresses tzniusly–the real tznius not like SOME people in C”H– then you should not be attractive. Before you get wrong messages, there is a big BUT, BUUUUT, you CAN still be tznius and beautiful. Tznius does not… Read more »
That may be true and all, but have you spoken to your husband/sons about this issue? Their answers may surprise you.
It isn’t that easy to not “pay so much attention”…
Makes me proud to be lubavitch
Thank you so much for having the courage to put your name to this beautiful, touching and hartzige letter.
May Hashem Bentch you with all the good that you wish for yourself and your family and may your example be a jumpstart to all of us.
Each one, in our own way can probably do something to encourage and inspire another to soar higher.
KSIVA VECHSIMA TOVA LESHANA TOVA UMETUKA TO ALL
Modesty =self respect and dignity
Nice one. I agree.
Judaism is the most beautiful way of life, how much more so chassidus. our bodies is a palace for the neshoma, and therefore we should dress in the most beautiful modest way, which helps focus on the eternal potential of a women over being viewed as objects. in addition Hashem is the ruler and creator of this world. he knows what is best for mankind, the torah is our GPS for this world, how much more so when we are mekushar to the rebbe, we than have clearer direction.Also it is common sense to dress properly, dignified and like a… Read more »
there is no better way to change crown heights. show by example. Also the husbands who make sure that there ladies have enough money to be a Bais Melech. The mitzvah of avais Yisroa’l starts with you wife. I wish every one a good sweet, heathy new Year.
Kol Hakavod !
very positive, the Chabad way of thinking and talking.
It’s not tznius to pay so much attention to how women dress!
Nice message as always even though it always focuses on one gender. But what does appearances and preconceptions tell you.
Thank you
Look out for those girls and women who are totally committed to presenting themselves al pi Torah, and you will find them… and be inspired by them! However, I only point out the positive to my girls. (I believe the rest can go unsaid.) A guht gebentched yohr to all.
As the article & bochur pointed out; if people only realized that they will b perceived so much more positively and treated so much more respectivly if they can respect their own bodies in a dignified way.may this new year bring more positivity &self respect in this area.
Thank you so much for your uplifting article. It definitely will make a difference to me when I walk out of my house . And I am one who considers myself to have these goals and yet many a time I realize that I can be a better role model.
May you and all of us have a sweet and good year. A ksiva Vachasima Tova!!
Keep the comments positive,and we will go further when we are united
I feel that there are women, who, when hearing of the idea that one can look attractive in modest attire (and even more so), they say to themselves: “Neh, they’re just saying that to get people to dress modestly”, or they entertain other such thoughts. But, as a man i can tell you, and so many of my friends have shared a similar sentiment, that it is actually totally accurate. People naturally have more respect for women (and men, for that matter) who dress modestly, and see them more as human beings than as objects. This is not to suggest… Read more »
Great article! Very positive and inspirational. May we all be blessed with a good sweet new year biruchniyus ubigashmyus!
Very well written. Thank you. Your message comes across and in a positive way. We need more of this — everyone, let us all learn from her example. I like it. It makes us feel good — and want to do better . . . Can we all train ourselves to speak this way? The world will become a better place.
Thank you again.
THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!!!
Just remember this. you can dress modestly and be very attractive at the same time. Something to think about
Thanks for your good words. Moms – remember, when you walk down the street tell your little (and not so little) girls, “Look at Mushky – she is dressed so nicely, her outfit is pretty and it’s totally kosher”, and “if Mushky isn’t properly dressed, then point that out to your girls too “It makes me sad to see that Mushky is wearing a skirt that is so short. I daven for you every day that you will not be influenced by what your classmate wears, and that she will learn from you how a Jewish girl should dress.” If… Read more »
just brilliant
may we all be zoyche to greet Moshiach!! NOW!!!
How good it is to see just a few dayd before rosh hashana a beautiful positive article about tznius.it is more impressive to dress in a dignified tzniusdik refined &fashionable way than just to copycat the latest dedigners &magazines that are looking to come up with the weides & craziest styles that dont always even compliment our body typeso .go ahead! take the challange for this new year to b creative & intuitive in covering what’s needed & bring out the best in a refined dignified &fashionsble manner.
Yasher koach
u inspire me to strive to higher heights
Very true & thanks for having the courage to write this!
A gut, gebensht yohr!
It’s right on target. I can name names of women whose dress style influences me today, and who have in the past. They are part of my personal history.
So nicely written shkoyach may Hashem bentch u with only brachos
Beautiful! Thank you for this encouraging article! Its so true- so many people inspire me with their incredible sense of Yiddishe dignity. Keep it up!