Jan 12, 2013
The Rebbe Vouched for Shidduch

32 people joined Mazkir Rabbi Leibel Groner for a visit to the holy gravesites in Ukraine. He shared a story about the Rebbe at odds with a mother over a shidduch.

Written by a participant for COLlive:

In honor of Chof Daled Teves, Rabbi Leibel Groner led a group of 32 people from all over America, for the first time, on a tour of the Holy Kevorim in the Ukraine.

The tour culminated with an inspiring Shabbos and Motzei Shabbos in Haditch which coincided with the Alter Rebbe's 200th yartzeit.

Rabbi Groner, the Rebbe's Mazkir, farbrenged with the group throughout the trip and shared hundreds if not thousands of stories and personal experiences he had with the Rebbe.

Gershon Chaimson of Crown Heights organized the trip with the help of Crown Travel, Aryeh Citron, the shluchim in Berdichov and Haditch.

Some highlights of the tour:

The flight to Kiev was a true multi cultural experience. On the one hand, we traveled with the Kalisher Rebbe and his large family and got to know them a little bit. We were also travelling with a group of birthright kids and had a chance to put on Tefillin with many of them.

From Kiev we went to Anipoli where we trekked through the snow to get to the Ohel of the Maggid of Mezritch and Reb Zusha. While there we “discovered” the new Mikvah and shul adjacent to the Ohel.

Next stop was Mezhibuzh where we enjoyed a tasty repast and a good night's sleep. In the morning we learned Chassidus, visited the Baal Shem Tov's ohel and Shul (and had some fun with a horse and buggy on the way).

We got to Berditchov in the afternoon and went straight to Reb Levy Yitzchok's Ohel. From there we went to the Chabad house where we enjoyed an excellent feast (prepared by the local shluchim – Rabbi Moshe Thaler) and farbrenged with Reb Leibel again.

After getting a replacement bus, the next stop was Niezhin and the Mitteler Rebbe. Despite the cold the niggunim and davening in the Ohel were very uplifting. We then farbrenged a little in the new shul that's next door to the Tziyon.

We finally arrived in Haditch at 6am on Friday morning. The sleeping accommodations were memorable but everything else was five star. We spent Friday, Shabbos and Motzei Shabbos learning, davening, farbrenging, going into the Ohel (and sleeping a little here and there). The Seder Nigunim in the Ohel which began at the time of the Histalkus was truly exhilarating.

5 am we were off to Kiev. When we arrived we found out that the flight was delayed, the airline was bankrupt and that we may be stranded in Kiev. Bechasdei Hashem, however, our flight took off late that night and we all arrived safely in JFK. Full of inspiring memories which will last for a lifetime.

The Shidduch

Rabbi Groner told the following story as we were travelling to Mezhibuzh:

A bochur from a respected chassidishe family (related to the Arugas HaBosem) came to learn in 770. His parents felt that the Lubavitcher Yeshiva would be best for his yiras shomayim.

When a shidduch was proposed for him, his parents looked into the family a little bit, and said that even though she is a nice girl, they did not agree to the shidduch.

But the bochur had liked the things he heard about this young lady and wrote into the Rebbe asking if he should go out with her. The Rebbe said yes. So he did.

After several dates, he decided that he wanted to get engaged. He wrote in to the Rebbe again and mentioned that his mother was against the shidduch. Despite this, the Rebbe gave his brocho, and they got engaged.

His parents informed him in no uncertain terms that they were against the shidduch and that if he would go ahead with it, they would not pay for the wedding at all nor would any of his family members come to the wedding.

A week later day as the bocher was learning in 770, his mother came into the Zal and slapped him on both cheeks. She exclaimed "Du vest mit dem maisel nisht chasunah hoben" (=You will not marry this girl).

The other bochurim followed her outside and recommended that she go into a yechidus with the Rebbe and explain to him why she was against the shidduch.

So she made an appointment through Rabbi Groner to have yechidus and came with her husband. After 10 minutes she came out and said that she agrees to the shidduch.

Asked what happened, she said that after laying out her argument, the Rebbe said that when someone asks for a brocho for a shidduch, he checks in all of the supernal seforim to see if the shidduch is appropriate. This one was.

The Rebbe added: Nevertheless, when the chosson said that his mother didn't agree, he checked again because he thought that maybe he had left out one sefer in which he had not checked. But after once again examining all the seforim, he found that indeed it was an appropriate shidduch.

(The fact that the parents were opposed to it, did not disqualify the shidduch in and of itself as the Halacha is that a child need not listen to his parents in this regard.)

The woman concluded, "If the Rebbe can ascend to the Heavenly realms and check in the holy supernal books, how can we not agree to the shidduch?"

Eventually, this woman became a strong supporter of Chabad.

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Opinions and Comments
Thank you for the story.
(1/12/2013 6:39:10 PM)
Go Levi & SholemBer
Hope u had a great time
(1/12/2013 7:00:40 PM)
Thank You Rabbi Groner
Very pertinent story!
(1/12/2013 9:26:59 PM)
i wish
i did a trip like that, hopefuly one day BH
(1/12/2013 10:36:46 PM)
Rabbi Groner
i heard from a participant...that it was one of there best few days. having rabbi groner for 100 hours is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
(1/12/2013 11:32:59 PM)
Listen to the Rebbe...
Too many parents are like this today.... and too many young adults are too dependent on their parents' support to ask and rely on a mashpia/ rav instead of taking what their parents say at face value.
(1/13/2013 1:00:17 AM)
Was rabbi groner recorded? I hope they have it all on tape!!
(1/13/2013 11:20:39 AM)
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